#lesbabbles

this is something @joeyclaire and i have discussed together at length and i think it would be fun to put on here. we both enjoy making our favorite characters into terrible people

WARNING: THIS IS NOT MY OPINION. THIS IS OBJECTIVELY CORRECT. FUCK YOU STEPHEN KING.

and YES i feminized richie and eddie. i don’t accept anything else. canonically they are women to me. fuck you stephen king

BILL

this is man is an author and a stephen king stand-in. he’s going to have confusing politics. it’s just the rules

i won’t say he’s a full on resist lib, i think he’s more so on the neolib side more than anything

respectability politics enthusiast

he is not without his homophobic allegations however

thinks racism ended in the 90s

pretty much aligned with the mainstream democrat party

has respect for the republican party

has not unlearned the problems during reagan/bush presidencies and respects them

“i think we need to learn how to disagree with each other respectfully”

definitely used ai art for one or more of his book covers and doesn’t see a problem with it

also definitely uses chatgpt to write portions of his books and gets called out for it

BEN

look i don’t think ben is maga by any means like some other people do

but i do think he is the most right leaning loser

former fat kids just have that air to them

hes an architect i just feel like thats a career that leans a little more to the right

also a respectability politics enthusiast

doesnt see color

ALSO wants both parties to get along

i can see ben being a republican voter until 2020

i do think he voted for obama over mccain

voted for trump in 2016 because he was the change politician

gradually changed his mind during trumps 1st presidency

marrying bev also steered him a little more to the left

socially liberal fiscally conservative

MIKE

he is a librarian. how the fuck do you think he aligns himself.

preserving public services is a HUGE issue for him. dare i say THE issue

he is all about maintaining public education

very anti book banning

i think he is the most resist lib out of all the losers

“we would all be at brunch right now” kinda vibes

big obama fan

* lifelong democrat voter, but has issues with the establishment dems

his car is PLASTERED in democrat stickers

respectability politics but i think it’s not one of his big priorities

he fucking LOVES that video of kamala harris dancing around

woke educated king

RICHIE

richie “i’m playing both sides so that i always come out on top” tozier

i don’t think she cares that deeply about politics

not right leaning but definitely not super left leaning

likes to pretend to be maga to piss off everyone

probably writes in candidates when it comes to voting or just doesn’t tend to vote

hates cancel culture

rips on cancel culture during her shows A LOT

probably made charlie kirk jokes right after he died and got in trouble for it and had to rt a memorial post

“you can’t say x anymore bc of woke”

makes misogynistic jokes in her sets and eats it up when men comment “protect this one boys”

whatever political stance is funniest at the moment is the one she aligns herself with

eddie HATES this btw

is one of the gays that doesn’t understand gender

has a tesla, likes elon musk bc he “legalized comedy”

said tesla is plastered in ironic bumper stickers

thinks ai is hilarious

let’s just be so real richie tozier is not a gay john mulaney type comic. she’s annoying and lowkey misogynistic

EDDIE

there’s this liberal woman i’ve seen who calls trump “cankles mctaco tits”

yeah that’s eddie

lowkey a girlboss feminist

has probably got into verbal/physical fights about politics

buzzword enjoyer

falls for rage bait far too often

she gets into daily twitter fights

especially richie’s rage bait

libbed tf out about hillary clinton and kamala harris

“orange man jokes don’t fucking do anything”

i feel like she would @ certain politicians and say the most heinous shit possible

probably shadowbanned/suspended on some social media platforms as we speak

HUGE elon musk hater and cannot stand that richie has a tesla

tweeted at kristi noem and called her a horse faced dog killing cunt, promptly getting suspended

BEVERLY

also a girlboss feminist

more respectful than eddie

also libbed out about hillary clinton and kamala harris

not quite a ruthkanda forever lib but pretty close

i think she is environmentally conscious, therefore anti ai

idk i just feel like her fashion lines would be sustainable and ethically sourced

very pro-choice

pussy hat wearer? maybe not

but has attended a few woman’s marches before

i feel like she loves elizabeth warren

maybe not the most trans friendly

dislikes ben’s past as a republican voter but pushed him a little further to the left

she was VERY VERY angry the day roe v wade was overturned

i feel like she would’ve posted some sort of charlie kirk memorial post or something respectful towards erika kirk and their children

STAN

like mike he is also very educated

your standard middle aged liberal jewish man

listens to npr

anti censorship

okay upon further thought. i feel like he’d be the most left leaning out of the losers

voted most likely to show up in a jubilee 1v20 debate

reads a lot of nonfiction political books

also very anti book bans

admires democratic socialism in countries like denmark and norway

seemingly more respectful but quietly destroys using facts and logic