Swordwolf and Friends

Daniel P.: I’ve got a beautiful 68-inch screen. And I’m gonna go home and watch porn and play League... wait... I’ve never watched porn on my TV... wait... I should totally do that.

The Final Exam...

[everyone is taking a test] *phone* I’m at a payphone, trying to call home all of my change I spent on you...

Dan: Oh shit.

- where has the time gone -

Professor: Is that your phone?

-Baby it’s all wrong-

Dan: My alarm for today’s exam.

-Where are the plans we made for two-

Professor: Is it going to shut off?

Dan: No.

*louder* I’m at a payphone-!

Esau: Is anyone here good with computers?

Sasha: Mac or PC?

Esau: Laptop

Sasha: What operating system?

Esau: Windows 8

Chris: Nigga...

Chris: She just asked you, "Mac or PC"?

[On the League chat]

Edwin: btw Xena has xmas gifts for us

Juan (Ed's roommate): WHAT? why, can she even do that yet?

Edwin: Why wouldn't she be able to?

Juan: Is she a high enough level in league?

[on the League chat]

Edwin: So, are you going to Midnight Breakfast?

Janelle: Yeah, sure- I'll go if you're going.

Edwin: LET'S GOOO!

Janelle: lol, well when is it?

Janelle: Alright, so, we get Em some choco-

Ashley: Oh, I know what to get her!

Janelle: What?

Ashley: Condoms!!

Janelle: No, that's just... messed up.

[Later on, dinner between Edwin, Janelle, and Ashley]

Janelle: So, we bought Em a box of chocolates.

Edwin: You know what would have been perfect?

Janelle: What?

Edwin: A box of condoms!!

Edwin: So, I was with my girlfriend this weekend and I was tired and kinda sick and I kinda started it...

Janelle: Oh, God... you poor bastard.

Edwin: [laughs] Well... not really. But yeah, I was kinda falling asleep in the middle of it.

Janelle: You were what?! [laughing]

Edwin: [laughs] Yeah, I dreamt that I was at West making jungle juice with Matt and Derbs and then I woke up and went 'Oh, right I was supposed to be doing something'. I didn't actually say that.

Janelle: I know. [laughing hysterically] [shaking her head] You fell asleep!

Edwin: Hey, at least I got her across the finish line. Swag.

Janelle: [laughing] Wait, wait, wait... Did you?

[Janelle trying to auto-reblog]

Janelle: [thinking] Which button auto-reblogs again? Q, W, or E?

Patrick: Man, I've got a thing for Ahri.

Janelle: She's part fox.

Patrick: Yeah, but- she's so hot!

Janelle: She's a furry.

Ashley and Edwin: [signing] In the jungle, the mighty jungle...

Ashley: Your death will come tonight!!! [laughing maniacally]

[Janelle and Edwin stare]

Edwin: [continues playing] Or... the lion sleeps tonight. Either or.