Not much ado about anything

"A man in a trench coat seldom inspires much confidence. Location, location, location! Dark alleyways are a no-go, and children's parks are right out. This particular film noir-esque character took his business just outside the city's cathedral on a particularly sunny Sunday afternoon. He was a portly man who wore a bushy mustache that grew out far beyond his nose, and his eyes –half-shut as they were– smiled far more than his prickly pecker could ever reveal. He seemed to be about 50 or maybe 60 years old, and judging from his burnt skin I assumed he worked more than a just a couple of summers under the sun. Most outstanding of all, however, was that –instead of topping off his private-eye's ensemble with a hat of some sort–, above his head there floated a bright yellow halo. On that day, I was taking my usual walk around the neighboring plaza waiting for mass to end so I could leave with my wife. The man was perched in the nearby gazebo facing the cathedral listening to the booming voice of the pastor. He stood with his arms hanging loosely in front of him, with right hand in left, rocking in place back and forth from heels to toes and toes to heels."

. . .

And that's all I have of the short story right now. I don't know yet exactly where to go with it. I have some vague idea of the trench coated  character to be some sort of halo salesman, perhaps also an angel with his wings hidden under the coat. The story will probably center on the interaction with this odd fellow, but I can't decide if I want the narrator or someone else to be the one interacting with him.

Currently, I have doubts about whether the first three sentences are really needed, particularly the third one with the bit about the dark alleyways and the children's parks. The fourth sentence, well, I'm not too sure about repeating "particular." I'm looking to create a bit of alliteration (as seen with the "sunny Sunday" bit) and also to really drive home the idea that the event that transpired on that day was quite a unique one (I don't even know what the event will be yet); however, I think the "particular"s are too far apart to hold up as alliteration and there are probably far better ways to draw out the uniqueness of the event than lazily using "particular" to describe everything. Originally, the fifth sentence was "He was a portly man and he looked positively harmless;" the second bit was to contrast with beginning about men in trench coats not inspiring confidence, but hopefully the description of the man gets this across just as effectively and a lot less clumsily (he even has a halo, he has to be harmless, right?). Later on, when describing his headpiece, I had to refrain from using "fedora" and instead simply wrote "hat of some sort;" the times we live in make it difficult to take that word seriously, whatever the context may be.