barve oceana

after seeing episode 9 and ivan specifically, im more inclined to believe that the physical violence here was always meant to be juxtaposed with some take on true strength (however you define it), which manifests internally first and foremost

Ilya knows whom he loves and why, and how to treat them. His father is a Major Dick to him and yet when he starts showing very serious signs of dementia, Ilya is very gently reminding him what they have to do. His brother is a huge asshole and at face value it appears as if Ilya is a dick back, but not only he admits that he "is terrible back", we know that Alexei doesn't respect softness or politeness. So Ilya has to bring out his aggressive self to be taken seriously.

When Alexei insults Svetlana, Ilya's immediate reaction is to hit him, even when he didn't hit Alexei to defend himself. When he gets spooked by Svetlana in his house and lashes out, he immediately backtracks and explains that he got scared.

Indeed, he doesn't pick up on Shane's autistic traits, such as the need for directness - although he does pick up on his need for Ilya to lead him - and Shane's inability to grasp hidden meanings. But Ilya is supposed to have been born in 1991. I am of the same generation, and also from an Orthodox conservative country in Europe. Mental health is something not easily discussed. Even today, people have no idea what autism really is. They associate it with the most extreme cases - not that they aren't valid, just that they don't know any other presentations of autism. I got my diagnosis into my 30s, and only because I went for an ADHD assessment. In another country.

What I mean is, I find it very likely that Ilya also doesn't know why Shane is the way he is, and he often misinterprets Shane's deflection as deliberate. But the moment he starts "getting" Shane, he changes. Even in the extremely cruel - in my opinion - penthouse scene, when Shane says that there are too many windows Ilya doesn't question or mock it. He subtly nods towards the other room and moves their scene there.

On the phone in Moscow, Shane tells Ilya that "bonjour" is French and not Russian, which is so painfully autistic. And what does Ilya do? An Ilya who at this point is beaten down and tired of people not understanding him? He doesn't get upset that Shane didn't realise that Ilya was complimenting him, but very softly says "I know, Shane", also mirroring Shane using Ilya's first name, which we know doesn't happen often even at this stage.

And finally, Ilya supporting Shane at his parents' house is the pinnacle of gentleness and empathy. He immediately understands the dynamics of this family, even in cases where Shane doesn't. He tones down his extremely loud self, he shuts up and listens, he never antagonises Shane's parents. He openly admits his love in front of two people who are essentially strangers. He knows to reassure them that he loves Shane even though he has been promiscuous. He has a 10/10 reaction to Shane's panic attack in front of his parents, when most of us would immediately freak out