𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖔 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖛𝖔𝖎𝖉

Believe me, I tried. I keep talking to the wall. No one understands or wants to listen. I'm invisible. I'm killing myself tonight. He will never know. I can't have anything good. I just can't. My life is worthless.

I had to call for an ambulance again. I need someone to talk to. About my pain. I have no one. They couldn't send me any because they're all very busy. I feel like my heart is about to explode. I want to k1ll myself right now but I can't. I can't breathe. I have no one to talk to. I need a hug. I need a hug so much. Nobody sees me.

The pub is not going to open for a while. I have nowhere else to go.

I want to cvt my arm until there's only blood and exposed skin. I can't do this anymore please make it end. Please. Either end me or make him show that he cares about me again. I can't do this. My heart hurts. Nobody wants me and there's no place for me. Please. Somebody hold me please.

I think I've done the most blasphemous thing I could ever think of. I went to the church (completely deserted) and cvt myself in front of an altar. Things happened and I can't stop crying. Why isn't there any place for me. I think I'll come here every night instead of drinking and eating. I'll stay here and cry. And maybe cvt myself. My life doesn't mean anything anymore. I just want to lose weight until I d13. Nobody loves me. I just want to lose weight until I d13. I need more physical pain. I need so much more physical pain, but please enough with the trauma and abandonment, I'm begging. I'm on my knees.

I have to necessarily reduce the protein bars I consume to only one per day. This is a real mess. I will miss the kind personal trainer who owns the store.

I unfortunately never played Bloodborne or Elden Ring and unfortunately I doubt I ever will (I want it so much) but god do I love the fanarts.

Now I don't want to get up because my mother is here. I have no place to exist.