Momma told me I could be pretty or funny

12 y/o me when my mom asks me to do a fashion show to show my dad all the new clothes we bought

TFW your bestie asks for advice on their shitty BF and you can finally deliver the 12 page essay on why they’re shitty

acting surprised when your mom is pissed at a sibling knowing damn well that you’re the one who told her. 

Moms splitting the coveted snack to keep their kids from hunger gamesing each other

when you’re trying to tell a story to your family but they keep interrupting 

Me and the girls getting ready to go burn down the patriarchy 

TFW you’re hiding from your issues but still have to look cute 

My parents faces when the bar of expectations has been set SO low and I still managed to trip and break an ankle 

your friend’s faces when you start texting THAT ex again

when you finally end up in that love triangle all of those YA novels promised only to discover that both dudes are boring as hell. 

My face 10 seconds before unleashing panic and mayhem in the family chat 

The sheer horror of working retail and realizing that you do not have the proper equipment to deal with stupid. 

TFW dads say “I don’t need directions!!!” while driving you straight into the setting of a Stephen King novel. 

when you find someone who shares your fucked up sense of humor

5 y/o me  proudly showing off my ability to hold my breath under water for an entire 30 seconds

My face when someone tries to wake me up before 2 pm

the righteous rage you feel when your sibling eats the left overs that you were maybe probably  possibly going to eat later