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@notesoncampart
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Really pain is its own kind of body. A body broken, by pain, into smaller bodies. I am tired of fragments. Though I love them for their echo of what once existed, for what is still coming into existence. I am searching for the detail that will illumine the whole. It was not knowledge but death - what was offered to me, my obliteration.
~ Alia Kobuszko, Dream Lattitudes, 2026
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'Being irritable, being tired, and all the endless worries of problems and plans, none of this mattered any more when he was with her. He brought with him always a funny kind of peace, and with the peace a strange sense of stimulation. So that when she was with Niall she was rested and excited, both at once.'
~ Daphne du Maurier, The Parasites, 1949
Edgar Allan Poe, from a poem featured in "Poetry and Selected Tales of Edgar Allan Poe,"
most sane friendship breakup
I’ve stopped waiting for you to reach out, but there are still days when I feel the weight of your silence. I don’t look for your name the way I used to, but sometimes it still finds me, in old memories, in songs, in the quiet. Some people leave gently, without anger or warning, and it’s that softness that makes the loss harder to hold. Maybe it was time. Maybe it was distance. Maybe it was just the slow undoing of something I thought would last.
I cared for you in the most honest way I knew how. It wasn’t always perfect, but it was real. Even now, though things have changed, a quiet part of me holds onto the good moments, the ones worth remembering without pain or regret.
- grcmliin
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Franz Kafka, from a letter to Felice Bauer written in 1913, featured in Letters To Felice
my head hurts but my heart knows the truth
~ headache
‘Knowledge has sweet savory, honeyed things which precede in value all other treasures as sovereign; how happy are those who have savoured thee to the full; and still since, I cannot judge of this save haphazardly, as if of a thing of which I do not know the whole, nevertheless that knowledge most gives me the delectable taste and savour of it which I find only in the little interconnections and parts of learning...’
~ Christine de Pizan, L'Avision de Christine, late 14th century
'While one is consciously afraid of not being loved, though usually unconscious fear is that of loving. To love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.'
~ Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving, 1957
'Her dreaming mind, lost to the world and intensely alive in its own dream planet, would quieten and relax, would murmur in solitude, "I'm here, I'm happy, I'm home again."'
~ Daphne du Maurier, 'The Happy Valley', 1932
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'When she first used to see the Valley it was in dreams.'
"Take care," he was saying, "take care, you 're standing on the grave."
Illustration by A. K. Macdonald.
From 'The Happy Valley' by Daphne du Maurier, published in The Illustrated London News Christmas Number, 1932.
"I loved you too much, wanted you too much, had for you too great a tenderness. Now all of this is like a twisted root in my heart, a deadly poison in my brain. You have made of me a madman. You fill me with a kind of horror, a devastating hate that is akin to love – a hunger that is nausea. If only I could be calm and clear for one moment – one moment only . . ."
~ Daphne du Maurier, 'The Doll', 1937 (previously lost short story, rediscovered in 2011)
"For who would bother to live if promise of fulfillment lay elsewhere?"
~ Daphne du Maurier, The Breakthrough, 1966
I desire intimacy, but dread the vulnerability it requires.
I crave love, but fear what it means to surrender to it.
— мєяакι
"Love is the whole thing. We are only pieces."
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'After a Dream'
In a sleep which your image charmed I dreamed of happiness, ardent mirage; your eyes were sweeter, your voice pure and ringing, you shone like a sky lit up by the dawn. You were calling me and I was leaving the earth to flee with you towards the light; the skies parted their clouds for us, unknown splendours, divine half-seen gleams... Alas! Alas! Sad awakening from dreams! I call on you, o night, give me back your deceits; come back, come back resplendent, come back, o mysterious night!
~ translation of Après un Rêve by Fauré, 1865
"Many people teach as a way to survive. In my case, I have a need to teach. At the point in your life when you've gained so much experience, it's important to be generous to the young generation."
~ Marina Abramovic, 1999
