Spiraling Over Complicated Fictional Men

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HONKAI: STAR RAIL

Character x Reader

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PHAINON

-> Phainon Masterlist

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ANAXAGORAS

-> Anaxa Masterlist

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MYDEI

-> Mydei Masterlist

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JING YUAN

-> Jing Yuan Masterlist

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DAN HENG

-> Dan Heng Masterlist

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AVENTURINE

-> Aventurine Masterlist

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SUNDAY

Oneshots:

The Angel Who Stayed (Guardian Angel AU. Modern AU. Angel!Sunday. Forbidden Love. Yearning. Learning Humanity Through You. Getting Together) (Wc: 3028)

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Headcanons:

How Sunday Falls in Love and What He Desires (Wc: 5400)

The First Time With Him (Loss of Virginity) (Wc: 741)

The Gospel of Touch (NSFW headcanons) (Smut. NSFW. MDNI. Worship dynamics. Control/surrender themes. Soft bondage mentions. Biting/marking) (Wc: 2393)

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BOOTHILL

Headcanons:

What He Sees In You (Phainon. Anaxa. Mydei. Dan Heng. Boothill. Separate) (Reader feels insecure about their looks because of past bullying. Comfort. Protection) (Wc: 1721, about 340 per guy)

When You Go E6S5 For Him (And He Realizes It) (Self Aware Characters, F2P Reader, extreme dedication) (Wc: 1084, about 270 per guy)

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BLADE

Drabbles/Shortfics:

To Soothe The Unbroken (Stellaron Hunter!Reader, reader has healing powers, Mara struck Blade) (Wc: 918)

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Headcanons:

When You Pat Him On the Head and Tell Him You‘re Proud of Him (Anaxa. Dan Heng. Aventurine. Blade. Dr. Ratio. Separate) (Wc: 1089 in total)

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DR. RATIO

Drabbles/Shortfics:

Bookmark Behavior Under Novel Conditions (Family Fluff. Dad Ratio. Rainy Day Vibes. Established Relationship. Soft Dr Ratio. Dr Ratio Being Dr Ratio. Children. Slice of Life. Bedtime Stories) (Wc: 842)

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Headcanons:

Which Body Features He Notices When He Stops Pretending Not To (Headcanons + Snippet) (Slightly suggestive. SFW) (Wc: 647)

When You Pat Him On the Head and Tell Him You‘re Proud of Him (Anaxa. Dan Heng. Aventurine. Blade. Dr. Ratio. Separate) (Wc: 1089 in total)

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SAMPO

Drabbles/Shortfics:

For Once, Nowhere To Run (Female Reader. Soft Intimacy. Established Relationship. Tenderness, Vulnerability. MDNI. Smut (Slow and Sweet Lovemaking). NSFW. Emotional Connection. (Wc: 1450)

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ARGENTI

Headcanons:

When You Go E6S5 For Him (And He Realizes It) (Self Aware Characters, F2P Reader, extreme dedication ) (Wc: 1084, about 270 per guy)

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JIAOQIU

Drabbles/Shortfics:

The Right Kind of Warmth (Fluff. Hurt/Comfort. Established Relationship. Exhaustion. Soft Jiaoqiu. Gentle Care. Cooking As Love Language. Touch As Comfort. Massage) (Wc: 791)

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CASTORICE

Drabbles/Shortfics:

The Shape of Nearness (Fluff. Platonic or Romantic (Ambiguous). Comfort. Soft Moments. Emotional Intimacy. Indirect Touch) (Wc: 1052)

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GENSHIN IMPACT

Character x Reader

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VARKA

-> Varka Masterlist

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FLINS

Oneshots:

In the Lanternlight (Romantic Tension. Mutual Pining. Touch-Starved Flins. Emotional Vulnerability. First Kiss. Confession (Kind Of). Light Humor (Flins Being Flins) (Wc: 4486)

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ALHAITHAM

Oneshots:

The Kiss Bet (Fluff. Slow Burn. Female Reader. Friends to Lovers. Intellectual Equals. Banter. Academic Flirting. Tension. Mutual Pining. Kiss Bet. Intellectual Intimacy. Confession. Getting Together. Alhaitham Being Alhaitham) (Wc: 14320)

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WRIOTHESLEY

Headcanons:

Which Body Features He Cherishes The Most (Anaxa. Mydei. Wriothesley. Separate) (Wc: 953, about 300 per guy)

How Wriothesley Falls in Love (Wc: 1223)

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ZENLESS ZONE ZERO

Character x Reader

LIGHTER

Drabbles:

What I See (Mute!Reader) (Wc: 473)

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General Headcanons:

HSR Amphoreus Men: Beach Holiday in Teyvat (feat. Phainon. Mydei. Anaxa) (Wc: 598)

Chrysos Heirs: Restaurant Emergency (Wc: 460)

Theoretical Discourse And Other Disasters (HSR Headcanons: Podcast AU) (feat. Aventurine. Phainon. Anaxagoras. Mydei. Dan Heng. Dr. Ratio) (Wc: 800)

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Phaidei (Phainon x Mydei)

-> Phaidei Masterlist

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Every single time I think: “This will be a short fic.” And every single time Varka appears somewhere in the distance and goes:

“Interesting. Have you considered emotional slow burn, tension, and at least one life-changing conversation?”

And somehow I always fall for it.

So yes. In between all the Phainon yearning, the inbox shenanigans, the missing hours, and my attempts to progress the HSR story, I somehow got completely sidetracked by a pirate captain and a mermaid.

I regret nothing.

So please bear with me while I disappear into pirate and mermaid brainrot for a little while longer. :D

I haven’t forgotten the asks sitting in my inbox and I fully intend to get back to some of them over the weekend. Unfortunately my thoughts are currently running in approximately seventeen different directions at once and most of them involve the sea.

I am so excited about this story right now. Which is both wonderful and deeply inconvenient because every time I think I’m finished, my brain goes: “But what if one more scene?”

So if you’ve ever wondered what happens when I rediscover one of my oldest favorite genres while also writing Varka… apparently this.

The funny thing is that this idea has actually been sitting in my inbox for months. Back then I wasn’t really in a summer mood yet. Now, however, I’ve been spending more time outside, thinking about the sea, adventures, old stories, and all sorts of things that made me dream when I was younger.

I used to love mermaids. I still do.

I used to love pirate stories. I still do.

I had an old PC game where I was a pirate captain building up a fortress on an island and apparently some part of my brain never recovered from that experience. :D

I also dressed up as Ariel when I was younger, including the red hair. :D

So when I started writing this, I think I accidentally rediscovered exactly why I loved these stories in the first place.

Lonely mermaids. Dangerous waters. Lost treasures. Impossible romances. Adventure.

The feeling that the world is bigger than what you can see.

And unfortunately Varka fits into this sort of story ridiculously well.

The result ended up being longer than intended (which will surprise absolutely nobody who has been following me for a while). And it could have become much longer. But for now I’m actually happy with where I left it.

It feels complete enough to stand on its own while still leaving room for possibility.

And perhaps that is fitting for an adventure story. After all, some journeys are more exciting when you know there are still horizons left to explore. 🏴‍☠️🌊

Anyway.

This feels like a very summer story to me. And maybe also a reminder that sometimes it is okay to simply enjoy the things you enjoy without apologizing for them.

Because apparently all it took was one pirate captain and one mermaid for me to remember exactly why I loved these stories so much in the first place.

Even if those things involve mermaids, pirates, and Varka looking entirely too good standing on the deck of a ship. (Heh.) :D

I’m currently planning to post the fic this weekend. At least that is the plan. (We all know how these things tend to go once Varka gets involved. 😭)

And I’m particularly happy that this was your reaction to those mythology and story-related fics because I was very aware that I had gone full nerd mode while writing them. :D

I knew they were a little more niche than some of my other works, and I kept wondering whether I had perhaps included too many details. So hearing that those aspects resonated with you means a lot.

As for what you mentioned: I don’t actually think that realization is as ordinary as you make it sound.

Stories absolutely deserve to exist on their own, of course. They should be able to stand independently and speak to readers in different ways. But I also think there’s something fascinating about remembering that every story was created by a real person living in a specific time and place.

Someone who had worries, hopes, beliefs, frustrations, dreams. And especially throughout history, writing was not always easy or safe. There are so many examples of authors, poets, playwrights, and artists finding ways to express ideas despite restrictions, expectations, or difficult circumstances. I’ve always found that deeply admirable.

History was actually one of my favorite subjects in school. I loved learning about it, especially Ancient History, although I enjoyed almost all of it. I was one of those people who really liked memorizing dates and events. :D

And from there my interest naturally expanded into literature (although my love for literature existed before that, of course), art, mythology, and all sorts of related topics.

One of the earliest examples I remember was actually The Picture of Dorian Gray. I became very interested in Oscar Wilde himself and the world he lived in, and that curiosity just kept expanding from there.

And during my studies I spent a lot of time analyzing works in exactly this way. Looking at how knowledge, culture, beliefs, and historical circumstances shaped what people wrote and why they wrote it.

Eventually it became something I started doing automatically whenever I encountered a work that fascinated me.

Ah, but now I’m rambling. :D

What I really want to say is that I’m very happy my fics and my thoughts encouraged you to look at stories from that angle. And I’m even happier that it led you to such kind thoughts about me. Thank you for that.

And as for Varka: yes. Absolutely. :D His confidence is one of the things that never fails to affect me. There is something so steady and reassuring about it.

And really, I’ve been experiencing my own Varka missing hours again lately, which probably explains why I somehow ended up diving headfirst into a Pirate Varka AU that became much longer than originally intended. 😭

Apparently giving that man a ship only made the problem worse.

Thank you again for your lovely message, anon. I hope your days have been bright as well, and I hope you’re continuing to enjoy your hobbies and all the little things that inspire you. :)

First of all: the fact that you included the puppies and the cookies from the yearning reader fics absolutely took me out. The continuity! The dedication! 😂

And then there are TWELVE dolls. Which immediately made me think of the Coreflames and somehow made the entire thing even funnier.

Also, the image of Reader accidentally creating what is essentially a Phainon shrine is both hilarious and completely understandable. Reader is already with him and yet somehow still manages to miss him so much that they end up buying twelve dolls. I honestly get it. :D

The merchant was also wonderful. The ominous prophecy-like warning fits Amphoreus so well and had me laughing because somehow it sounds exactly like the sort of thing someone in that setting would say with a completely straight face.

And then the mystery begins! The disappearing dolls.

The one remaining doll. The doll constantly appearing in places it absolutely should not be.

The fact that it somehow always ends up back in the bed (that is so Phainon, really).

I loved every second of it.

But Phainon’s reaction absolutely finished me. The image of him coming home, finding the doll in his bed, and immediately dissolving into laughter is so vivid in my mind.

His laugh is so contagious that I feel like Reader would end up laughing too. Or kissing him. Or both. Probably both. 😭 (In my mind they would end up kissing Phainon very eagerly… and they would end up rolling over the floor. And alternatively or additionally, Phainon would kiss Reader to remind them that the real Phainon can never be replaced by a mere doll. :D)

And then the fact that he eventually becomes jealous of the doll is SO HIM. Because of course he would.

The doll kept Reader company. The doll followed Reader everywhere. The doll got to spend time with Reader while he was away.

Naturally, Phainon decides that this tiny replica has become a rival.

I cannot explain why this makes perfect sense, but it absolutely does. And then the ending. The fact that he gets Cipher involved to remove the doll is both an amazing reference to canon and one of the funniest possible solutions.

Reader: “Have you seen the doll?”

Phainon: “I’ve taken care of it.” (Or he would just feign innocence.) :D

Seriously, though. Thank you for this.

It felt like a gift. I shall treasure it like my own Phainon doll.

(Well. I do have the little Hoyo plushie. The only fandom plushie I’ve ever bought. But now you’ve got me thinking I might need more Phainons around the house. :D)

Thank you again for sharing this with me. It brought me so much joy. ☀️

Lily 💙

P.S. I also have the distinct feeling that after the initial laughter died down, Reader and Phainon would proceed to have a completely serious discussion about the doll’s merits.

Reader: “The doll never complained.”

Phainon: “The doll also cannot cook.”

Reader: “The doll stayed where I left it.”

Phainon: “That is because the doll lacks free will.”

Reader: “The doll listened to me.”

Phainon: “I am listening right now.”

Reader: “The doll slept in my bed.”

Phainon: “…I am beginning to understand why I found it suspicious.”

And once they are cuddled up in bed at night:

Reader: “I just missed you so much, Phai. The doll was good company.”

Phainon: “I can assure you that the original model remains available.”

Reader: “You’re jealous of a doll.”

Phainon: “I am winning against a doll.”

P.P.S. On another note: I also read your other Phainon brainrot ask and it gave me entirely too many thoughts. Seriously, this is the kind of Phainon behavior that would just… affect me so much. 😭 I love your energy. Rest assured that I will return with an appropriately detailed reply and the required amount of Phainon menace behavior. :D

I wouldn’t call it a romantic relationship yet (and I don’t think they would either). By Part 4, they have both developed very strong feelings for each other and are becoming increasingly aware of them, but they haven’t actually defined anything. There is still a lot of uncertainty between them, and of course Phainon is still dealing with the curse and everything that comes with it.

Part 3 also ended on rather bad terms, with Phainon essentially trying to pull away from the connection and return to his duties. So when they meet again in Part 4 (or at the end of part 3, technically), it’s actually the first time they see each other in reality after all of that.

A lot of Part 4 is about them finally allowing themselves to acknowledge certain feelings and desires that had been building for quite a while. That’s why the chapter focuses so much on closeness, physical affection, and all those little moments that feel intimate without necessarily crossing every line.

In a way, they both treat that night as a small refuge from everything else. Their own little world for a few hours, while the curse and the god are still very much present in the background.

So I’d say they’re at the stage where they both want something more and are starting to hope for it, but neither of them would call it a relationship yet.

That being said… there will definitely be more developments in Part 5… :)

Hope that helps, and I hope you’ll continue to enjoy the series!