She/her. 34. You can call me Lily. :) Writer, overthinker and yapper | Requests: closed (temporarily). Asks are welcome. :) Multifandom but mostly HSR and Genshin at the moment. | Not caught up with HSR at the moment: No spoilers please!! | #mirrorwritings
REQUESTS: temporarily CLOSED while I catch up on existing ones. Iāll update the status here when they reopen. š
Asks, thoughts, brainrot and yapping are always welcome. I write on a whim whenever inspiration hits, and I love to yap in general, so feel free to hop into my inbox. :)
Navigation: This masterlist is structured by character and then by work type (drabbles/shortfics, oneshots, headcanons). I included separate character masterlists for the characters I write a lot for and will expand those over time.
What He Sees In You (Phainon. Anaxa. Mydei. Dan Heng. Boothill. Separate) (Reader feels insecure about their looks because of past bullying. Comfort. Protection) (Wc: 1721, about 340 per guy)
When You Go E6S5 For Him (And He Realizes It) (Self Aware Characters, F2P Reader, extreme dedication) (Wc: 1084, about 270 per guy)
Bookmark Behavior Under Novel Conditions (Family Fluff. Dad Ratio. Rainy Day Vibes. Established Relationship. Soft Dr Ratio. Dr Ratio Being Dr Ratio. Children. Slice of Life. Bedtime Stories) (Wc: 842)
ā ā¦ ā
Headcanons:
Which Body Features He Notices When He Stops Pretending Not To (Headcanons + Snippet) (Slightly suggestive. SFW) (Wc: 647)
When You Pat Him On the Head and Tell Him Youāre Proud of Him (Anaxa. Dan Heng. Aventurine. Blade. Dr. Ratio. Separate) (Wc: 1089 in total)
For Once, Nowhere To Run (Female Reader. Soft Intimacy. Established Relationship. Tenderness, Vulnerability. MDNI. Smut (Slow and Sweet Lovemaking). NSFW. Emotional Connection. (Wc: 1450)
The Right Kind of Warmth (Fluff. Hurt/Comfort. Established Relationship. Exhaustion. Soft Jiaoqiu. Gentle Care. Cooking As Love Language. Touch As Comfort. Massage) (Wc: 791)
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Hello my friend!! I have returned with DIRE newsā¦ I have fallen victim to FOMOā¦ and I bought tomodachi life.... My first order of business was to put my ocās in there and watch them roam upon the earth... Itās been a long journey but I finally got all my ocās marriedā¦ with kid(s)!!
Cerith and Ruth were the first ones & oh myā¦ I didn't expect them to be such love birds!! When they first mentioned having a kid ā I did not know I could get that excited!! They have two daughters; Avery & Ciara. Avery is a total sweetheart & Ciara takes after Ruthās personality. In my mind, others will always think Ciara is the older sibling but itās actually Avery. Itās fun to think of them as parents. To see how their flaws and wishes for their kids influence their parenting styles and how itāll improve over time and especially all the things they learned from having Avery. Listenā¦ if they decided to have another childā¦ I wouldn't be surprised.Ā
Ayla and Sunday!! What a journeyā¦ They have these events where they can cause others to have a crush on them & he tried it twice on herā¦ and failed. He only gained a crush afterwardsā¦ I saw Ayla had the ā„ bubble & you know who she mentioned? ARGENTI!! Who was I to get in the way of loveā¦ so I encouraged herā¦... she said āMy feelings are platonic.ā ššš anywaysā¦ two people tried to live with her and failed but Sundayā¦ got her!! Now that they live together, that's when she got a crush on him. ā truly the slow burn I wantedā¦ Now, they're married with their daughter Kai ā in which they both teach her about music + artā¦Ā I think they'd have small fumbles as parents but still try to impart all that they can to her.
Aria and Vivi took soso longā¦ they both had a rocky startĀ + Vivi got into a relationship w/ another miiā¦ I could not get in her wayā¦ howeverā¦ I called upon beings above me and they ended up splitting up. I feel so bad but cheered when they didā¦ but their crush phase was so cute. There was this event where Vivi tried to hold Ariaās hand, didn't work but i was giggling my heart out. Despite it all, Melody was delivered to them!! As they currently are, they wouldn't make it as parents but i think if they really wanted a kid, theyād have one by their 40s.
I sobā¦ i truly have favoritism with my ocāsā¦ i truly don't have much to say about Virgie and Salemā¦ they truly are due for a re-haulā¦ i guess I'm no longer the person i was when i left high school.
Argentiā¦ ARGENTMII!! My friendā¦. He is perfectā¦ the ideal miiā¦ I have zero complaints on how he looksā¦ It scared me a littleā¦ I feel like the spirit of Argenti possesses the mii version of him because some of the things he says/does literally matches himā¦ I need 568903857 tons of stickers of him and spread them everywhereā¦ all will gaze upon himā¦ he isā¦. Argentmii (ft.Phainon)
āā āā āā ā āā
Anyways, Iām wishing you yummy frozen treats to beat that heat!! Summer heat is no jokeā¦ stay hydrated and wear SPF... I go outside for 5 minutesā¦ and I feel like I'm in an air fryerā¦ May you see funny shaped clouds and where you swim to have temperate watersā¦ i will send you whatever meager luck i have so that you may pull the mythical upcoming Rafayel cardā¦ š«”
Hi again Mushy! :) Sorry for the wait. I will get back to your Phainon- and OC-related asks too, but I figured Iād reply to this one first. :) Itās so cool that you bought Tomodachi Life and are playing it now. The FOMO almost got to me a couple of times too. :D Reading your thoughts tempts me even more. :D Maybe I should try the demo first and then see how I like it. Anywayā¦
Ahhh, I love your Miis. They look great!!! And Iām happy you like them so much too. :)
Oh, itās so wonderful that Cerith and Ruth are living such a happy life. From what youāve told me about them and their story before, I honestly wouldāve expected them to have the most complications out of your OCs. I also imagined their relationship being a bit more on-and-off at first. So hearing how happy they are here was really lovely. And of course the fact that they have children now and built such a nice family together. :) I also really liked what you wrote about Avery and Ciara and how becoming parents gradually changed them. I think thatās a very realistic way of looking at it.
Oh, I love that Ayla was more hesitant towards Sunday at first and that Sunday was showing his feelings so openly here. I think that, while heās generally a lot more hesitant and it takes him time to develop feelings in the first place (at least considering his canon personality and journey), once heās certain of those feelings he would actually act on them rather openly. The Argenti situation absolutely made me laugh. :D I also really like that Ayla and Sunday ended up having such a slow-burn development. That seems very fitting for them. And I love that they teach their daughter music and art. Itās such a lovely thought that they can all share those hobbies together. :) Considering their respective backgrounds, I also think itās completely normal that theyād fumble a little as parents. Honestly, thatās probably true for everyone. Nobody is perfect, and especially in the beginning thereās so much to learn.
I actually thought Aria and Vivienne having a rocky start suited them very well. Their journeys have always been about moving on from the past and growing as people, so I think itās both realistic and fitting that Vivi would initially be in another relationship. And I really like that things developed slowly between them through those smaller moments of bonding. It reminded me a lot of what you told me about their dynamic before, especially the time after Aria came to the island (the beginning). And considering how you described Aria as more of a bystander and Vivienne as the more outgoing and stubborn one who naturally gets along with people, this progression just made a lot of sense to me.
And Argentmii. :D I donāt know why, but that name alone already made me laugh. The idea that the Mii somehow perfectly captured Argentiās spirit is both hilarious and strangely believable. He looks great!! I can absolutely imagine him saying something unexpectedly profound out of nowhere while everyone else is just going about their day. :D
Thank you for your kind words and reminders as well. The same goes for you. :) Yes, itās been very hot lately, and that always affects my circulation quite a bit. But I really loved the imagery at the end of your ask. The funny-shaped clouds, the temperate waterā¦ it all sounded so peaceful.
And thank you for wishing me good luck too. :) So far there hasnāt been an announcement about the new Rafayel myth yetā¦ but then again, the whole LaDS situation is still rather chaotic at the moment, and they still have a lot to communicate properly. Ah well. LaDS is still a bit of a complicated topic for me right now, so Iām not really playing it at the moment.
I need to push the rest of the "family" into it too, so Hyacine having to mom-friend everyone with the reminder of sunscreen (except Anaxagoras, for once; I headcanon he burns really easily, so that's one self-care thing he always remembers when peer pressured into a beach trip). And Castorice in a big woven sunhat with flowers and a pretty beach sarong, walking along the shore collecting shells and pausing to awe at tide pools.
Sucrose would LOVE the tide pools come to think of it!
Kaeya babysitting Klee as she runs around.
Klee accidentally bumps into Anaxa's sandcastle and he starts to raise his voice until he sees that it's just a little one, she didn't mean to, and Klee's eyes start watering because he looks scary at first, and he instantly calms down. (And that's the story of how a child caused my mains to meet. Weirdly, I actually think they'd get along decently... or at least Anaxagoras would tolerate Kaeya.)
(No I haven't stopped playing a 4ā team as my main team. No it still isn't optimized and probably never will be. Yes I enjoy it anyway, and yes I am petty enough that the more people insist that I optimize based on meta or tier lists, the less likely I am to do so, and the more unconventional my team setups will become.)
Tighnari is Suffering facedown in a hammock, and Collei is going back and forth between hanging out with Sucrose and checking on him.
Alhaitham has joined Dan Heng under the Designated Reading Umbrella. They get bothered by Kaveh periodically, until he gets caught in the crossfire of a water-gun battle. (Imagine him pulling a NERF-style giant water bazooka out of nowhere, somehow already filled. Because comedy logic.)
And at the end of the trip, as everyone is packing up to leave, Albedo reveals that he drew the most beautiful thing ever: everyone smiling and having fun together. Because precious moments should be preserved for as long as possible.
...This is a bit of a mess. š Iiii just got back from the local Pride event the day right after D&D night, so my communication skills are less than optimal as the brain recovers... Apologies for that.
Anyway! As we're heading into July, I hope that this next month is kinder to you and your family. Remember to hydrate!... and to use sunscreen.
ā š
P.S. Random tangentially-related thought: Imagine March and 'Bedo talking about memory preservation in the form of visual art (photos and sketches).
Hi again š anon! :) It was so much fun to read your additional beach thoughts, thank you for sharing them. :D
Oh, I could totally picture both Hyacine and Castorice, and both made me smile for different reasons. Hyacine reminding everyone about sunscreen is very fitting for her. (I agree that Anaxa would think of the sunscreen himself. :D) And I just think it would be hilarious because I can already hear her, and she would also be very persistent. :)
And your thoughts about Castorice were so lovely to read. Maybe itās because her personality resonates with me in general, but this is something I had in mind for her as well. And it makes me smile that walking along the beach and collecting shells would bring her some quiet and peace of mind. :) Plus, sheād probably be fascinated by all the different shells and have fun discovering new ones.
Yes, I agree about Sucrose. :)
Omg, I love the idea of Kaeya babysitting Klee. It would be both endearing and hilarious. And once Klee bumps into Anaxaās sandcastleā¦ shenanigans would ensue. Because of course Anaxa wouldnāt stay silent. :D And I agree that he wouldnāt actually be angry once he realizes how young she is. He might even suggest rebuilding it together. Iām not entirely sure, but I could definitely see it. :) And oh, him and Kaeya meeting. I really love that idea, maybe because I like both of them so much. But I think they could get along, yes, and I would really enjoy witnessing a conversation between them. :D
(Personally, I think Genshin is the kind of game where you can still make good progress even with teams that arenāt considered meta. And as long as youāre having fun, thatās the most important thing. :) Since I mostly pull for characters I like, I just try to make my teams work somehow. Many of my characters still arenāt fully optimized or well-built either, so thereās that. :D And I also donāt think anyone should be shamed for playing the way they enjoy.)
I really love Tighnariās and Colleiās dynamic, so this made me laugh. :)
Of course Alhaitham would join Dan Heng under the Reading Umbrella!! Ahh, I really love the idea of them sitting there together. I think theyād be very comfortable in each otherās company. :D And Kavehā¦ haha, that was just hilarious. :D And yes, I can picture the giant water bazooka. :D
Ahh, but the ending was so wholesome!! I love that Albedo secretly drew all of them enjoying their beach day together. This made my heart melt.
I donāt think your ask was messy at all. It was delightful to read, actually. :) If anything, I think your (presumably) positive experiences from Pride and your D&D session really came through. And thank you for your kind words. Iām trying my best, but unfortunately things are still stressful at the momentā¦
Lily š
P.S. Re: March and Albedo: Oh, I really like that thought! Itās something I believe in myself and try to do whenever I can (well, only with photos since I canāt draw :D), so itās really nice to think about. :)
the way you write phainon is so sweet that like. i genuinely am blushing over it. ohhhh my god hes so pathetic and in love its so cute. hes like a sopping wet dog someone left out in the rain. i just want to hug him forever.
all this to say, your writing is very good and hes so cute and im gonna eat him.
Hi anon! :) Oh, thank you so much for this sweet ask. Iām so happy you like my portrayal of Phainon and that my writing gives you reactions like that. This is really such a nice compliment. :) And your description made me smile, it was so vivid. :D Thanks again and I hope you will continue to enjoy my fics. :)
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I have no jades but its okay, cause ill grind a lot trust and im gonna read soooo much fanfics about him oh my gosh
Hi again Rose! :) Haha, I completely understand. :D I was really curious after the drip marketing too. Iām still waiting to see more of the story and his kit before I form my full opinion, butā¦ itās Aventurine. So Iām just very happy that weāll get to see him again. :D
And I wish you lots of luck with your grinding! I hope he comes home early for you. :) And yes, I think he will inspire many fics. :D
this isnāt really anything in particular? itās mostly me talking about how phainon has become an irreplaceable part of my life but thereās randomly-sprinkled compliments to your writing in here because if i am being so honest, your writing of him has become synonymous with him as a character in my brain. Or him as a character was absorbed so perfectly by your writing and you perfectly replicate him each time you make a post about him. either way.
i just replied to the post you made about how your phainon brainrot is getting worse lately (āsomehowā), but i wanted to kind of expand on it in an ask rather than a word-limited comment. because that is absolutely so real š„²
itās unfortunate but like. i think for me, my waves of intense phainon reobsession always hit when i have a huge depression wave or something š iāve been absolutely feeling horrible lately in every other aspect of my life, but for some reason phainon for the past year has always been the one constant thing that i can think about to stay sane. and i think thatās caused some kind of weird bond or something. i have no idea. but much like what you were talking about in that post, i have NEVER cared so intensely for this long about only one character.
i have had others i care about on and off, as well as previous favorites. but they always last maybe 3-4 months at a time, at MOST, as my āmain favorite.ā but somehow phainon has lasted as my āmain favoriteā for well over an entire year and i do not see him being replaced any time soon.
i guess it could be his depth of writing or personality? but i like others that have in-depth personalities too, so im not totally sold that this it the reason. i genuinely have not been able to figure out in ALL this time what it is about him that makes him so hard to replace or get rid of mentally. not that i want to do that at all. but its like an anomaly of some kind š
and donāt get me wrong, this absolutely isnāt a complaining post about things in my life, itās 100% a phainon praise post. But i donāt really think itās fully possible to convey the intensity of Exactly how much he means to *me* at least without explaining that. yes. in some of the most isolated and painful times of my life this past year that i can barely even remember, i was latching onto PHAINON at three in the morning through tears š which sounds absolutely completely insane. but also i know youāll get it because well. youāve reached similar levels of absolute phainon brainrot (which is exactly what it is. i feel like someone took my old brain and replaced it with this one thatās fully identical but itās filled with phainon-generating chemicals instead of endorphins.)
(and side note. a lot of those times have also been accompanied by your fics actually. i know i constantly am talking up how much i love them and how seen i feel when reading them and etc etc but. i am being very genuine. theyāve given me something to do when i feel like my entire life is crumbling around me and regularly provide me with 30-minute doses of respite and peace when i need a break š„² so thank you.)
anyway. i also think that maybe the latching onto him might stem from the fact that heās someone who doesnāt need entertainment in a relationship to feel like heās alive. i donāt really know how to explain this but some characters feel like *characters*, in the sense that, once you stop actively thinking about scenarios for them they kind of cease to feel like they exist. but with phainon heās almost scary in how self-entertaining he is?? like i can just think of him without having to think of an elaborate situation to put him in. he can be sitting in a chair with his ridiculous reading glasses reading a book in dead silence, where heās been for the past 4 hours. And that feels really real.
but also, he doesnāt really feel theatrical. which is ironic considering amphoreus was written even in-lore to be a story. but he feels like the least of an example of someone who is putting on a show for an audience. so maybe all of this combined makes him feel like a real person, and our brains just treat him that way?? š i really just donāt know.
regardless, iām always coming back to how helpful even just him plainly existing would be to help through problems in real life. which is definitely part of what makes me think of him so often anyway.
and also. iām self aware enough to know it is Difficult for any person to actually help me feel any better when im doing poorly, because of how much i need to talk things through until im beating a very dead horse. but phainon kind of excels in this area? he likes to debate and while im sure he wouldnāt enjoy talking in circles, i think i even only get to that point because no one elseās logic feels very sound (and this is obviously because emotional issues are subjective and illogical but my brain never lets up until i can solve the problem š„¹). Again. phainon excels in this area. And he feels even more real because of it. What other character could i ever have an entire mental argument with in my head to calm myself down from an actual mental health episode š This is literally insane. they created the character to cure spiraling.
i donāt think he will really ever be replaced for me. and thatās such a bold claim but i canāt imagine another character meaning this much, especially after this long. like if it was gonna happen it would have probably happened š
but yeah. anyway. this is also a slight explanation as to why i sort of have been disappearing from ur notifs all of a sudden since i know i usually am very yapful š. Things have been very hard. And i know they have been for you as well, for different reasons. And i am so sorry.
Life can be so agonizingly hard. phainon would definitely get that though. and heād be so helpful in getting through things. and be helpful in remembering to see all the good things in life too. i cannot think of anything he could do to be more helpful. itās so, so easy to just think, āphainon could help me through this situationā just to get through a rough patch. Like in your case even, hed have the anti-migraine routine down. You literally wouldnāt even need to ask. He asks once what you need from him and then forever after that point he remembers the drill like he was formally trained on the process. Windows closed. Any medicine + water is instantly on a side table. Heās dead silent for the rest of the night, and if he needs to talk (or Really really wants to), itās in the softest and easiest-to-listen-to voice hes ever used.
You donāt even need to attempt to think of what he may or may not do. I swear to god the things heād do in any situation just play out in your brain like he literally lives inside all our heads š
whenever your reqs open back up, i think i might try to think up some kind of semispecific comfort-type fic to request. iāve gone back and forth between what to ask for. For a long time. thatās also why i didnāt send any in last time they opened š nothing felt good enough. But i think the kind of phainon i long for the most is the one that is in his element of helping people he cares about. i love when heās silly and i love when heās talking about antiques and honestly, all of this even on its own would help in its own ways. but like. thereās a reason i always go back to the midnight frequencies fic, i think (and yes. even after rereading it like 5 times, it still makes me cry if itās late enough at night š). i think you really are the best type of person to write him because youāre insightful enough to actually understand him and his motives and feelings and personality. and thatās why when you write things that heād say or do, it feels so real. and that makes it believable. which is an Absolute Gold Mine for anyone like me who relies on him to get through the Bullshit that happens in the real world. Honestly i think about this sometimes, but the saddest fact to me is that youāll never be able to experience your own writing in the way that all of us do, which is as a reader. i donāt know how you donāt go insane from there not being any phainon content for you to read thatās as in-depth as you think of things.
Okay anyway. Iām done now for real. I know youāve said donāt apologize, but sorry again for the yapfest š. I was trying to say everything here while i had the energy to talk at all. As usual, I hope that youāve been doing and feeling well, and taking care of yourself. Also. the picture you shared a few days ago (? i donāt remember when it was) of the wheat field outside your house was so nice by the way. Youāre in the real aedes elysiae š„¹.
āļøšŖ½
Hi again Salem! :) Sorry for the late reply. I also saw your most recent check-in ask, which was very sweet and made me smile. Iāll get back to that one too. :)
I really loved reading your thoughts on Phainon. And thank you for sharing such personal thoughts with me as well. I really appreciate that you trusted me with them.
I mentioned it before, but Iām really sorry youāve been going through such a difficult time over the past year. Of course I donāt know exactly whatās been happening, but I can definitely relate to struggling over the past year (or longer, actually).
And like you, I still havenāt quite figured out what it is about Phainon that makes him so special to me personally. Youāre right about him feeling very real somehow. I mean, heās incredibly capable, but he still struggles, and I think thatās something that resonates with me. Not that I like seeing him suffer or anything like that (you know me :D). Of course the things he goes through arenāt something we could ever literally experience, but the emotions behind them feel so genuine and palpable.
One thing you and I definitely have in common is the tendency to overthink and the feeling that we sometimes only find peace after talking something through over and over again. Itās something Iāve often felt self-conscious about around other people, and itās also something Iāve had negative experiences with. So I actually think Phainon would be very good in situations like that, partly because heās an overthinker himself and partly because heās such a deeply empathetic person (which is one of the many reasons I love him so much). In any case, Iām really glad he can give you comfort like that.
And it was genuinely comforting to read your thoughts about how he would help me through my migraines becauseā¦ yes. I think heād be very good at that. :) The way you described him quietly remembering the routine and simply taking care of things without making a fuss felt very true to him.
And thank you so much for your kind words about my writing. Weāve talked about this before, but Iām still incredibly happy that my portrayal of him feels so accurate to you and that my fics bring you comfort as well. Thatās one of the nicest compliments I could receive.
And I also smiled a little at what you wrote about me never being able to experience my own writing as a reader. I hadnāt really thought about it that way before. In a sense youāre right: once youāve written something, you can never quite encounter it for the first time again. But writing is its own kind of experience too. Itās difficult to describe, but there are moments where a scene or a conversation simply unfolds while Iām writing it. And knowing that those stories can become that āfirst experienceā for someone else makes me very happy.
I also smiled at what you wrote about him feeling āreal.ā I can imagine him quietly reading for hours, making tea, tending to a garden, or simply existing, and somehow none of that feels empty. And I think thatās part of why he lingers in peopleās minds for so long.
I also wanted to say something about what you wrote regarding my writing being there for you during difficult moments. That means a lot to me. I always hope that my stories might give someone a little comfort or a place to rest for a while, but actually hearing that theyāve done that for you is difficult to put into words. So thank you, truly.
Iām glad you liked the pictures. :) The wheat has grown quite a lot since then, and yes, the fields definitely make me think of Aedes Elysiae. Although I think Aedes Elysiae still has that particular sense of idyll about itā¦ well, itās probably also because of Phainon. :D
I really hope things have been easing up for you, even if only little by little. And it always makes me happy to hear from you. I already mentioned it, but unfortunately Iām still not feeling great and real life is still keeping me busy. But rereading your lovely ask made me smile, so thank you for that. :)
Take good care of yourself. And thank you again for sharing all of this with me.
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I'M SO GLAD HE'S BACK BUT IDK WHAT TO THINK OF THAT DESIGN š§
Why
How
is this an entire character design & not just a skin???
š Anon
Hi again Cherry! :) Iāll also get back to your other ask, but I thought itād be faster to reply to this one in between. :)
So yes, Iāve seen the drip marketing for Aventurine. And I really like it. I mean, Iāve been saying for ages that I wanted skins (and beach outfits :D) for the male characters in HSR, so I guess I kind of have that now. Iām definitely not complaining since I love Aventurine so much.
That being said, right now Iām a bit underwhelmed by the fact that this is a new character rather than just a skin. I mean, considering theyāre in Astropolis it makes sense. From what Iāve read, itās supposed to be some kind of vacation resort? Iām very curious about the story there (especially with Robin involved).
The caption actually made me even more curious because while the design itself looks like a fun vacation outfit, the text paints a very different picture. Between the promotion, the sponsored photoshoot, the secret orders, and the mention of the storm, it already feels very Aventurine somehow. So I have the feeling thereās much more going on beneath the surface, and Iām really looking forward to seeing how all of this fits into the Trailblaze Mission. :)
Iām also still not sold on Elation as a Path (and I still havenāt decided whether Iāll pull any of the units). And I was kind of hoping for a different design. But for now Iāll justā¦ wait and see how I like his kit. Iāll pull for him anyway because, well, itās Aventurine. :D
So for now Iāll wait for more information and continue staring at him becauseā¦ why not? :D And Iāve been missing him so much, so regardless of my thoughts on the SP version itself, Iām just really happy we get to see him again. OMG.
I don't know if you know anything about that little circus show that got popular but my friend is obsessed with it and sent me a fan song this morning.
I looked at the thing and was like "why is Joshua Waters singing here?" I didnt know he even watched itnš
But now I'm curious what you think Phainon's reaction to the show would be if somebody showed it to him
Hi anon! :) Sorry for the late reply. I wanted to wait until I was a bit further into the show before answering. Iāve only watched seven episodes while writing this, so I still have episodes 8 and 9 left. Iām aware that a lot happens in those episodes (I accidentally came across a few spoilers without any context), but Iād like to form my own opinion about the events and characters first.
So Iād actually never heard of The Amazing Digital Circus before it started trending on Tumblr. But Iām veery invested in it now. :D I definitely need to rewatch the episodes soon because thereās just so much to analyze. But back to your ask! I have way too many thoughts in general, so Iāll try to stick to some of the basics. :D
Itās super interesting to think about Phainon in relation to this show, and I understand why it made you think of him. Thereās the whole circus (or rather simulation-adjacent) setting, the fact that the characters are constantly trapped in a situation they have very little control over, and of course the adventures theyāre repeatedly thrown into. And then thereās Caine as the AI overseeing everything.
I think this depends a little on which version of Phainon weāre talking about. If this were some kind of modern AU where he has no memories of Amphoreus or everything that happened there, introducing the show to him would probably be fairly straightforward. I think heād immediately find the themes fascinating, and the character dynamics would give him a lot to think about. He generally strikes me as someone who would become very interested in understanding who the characters are beneath the surface and where they came from.
But Phainon with all the knowledge of the cycles would react much more strongly to it. Especially the themes surrounding existence, identity, trauma, and existential dread. I think he would relate to certain aspects of the show very deeply. The whole idea of abstraction would also give him a lot to think about.
I also think he would keep asking himself what allows the characters to remain themselves despite everything happening to them (or whether they actually are still the same people after all this time). What keeps someone themselves after enough time has passed? When does survival become mere existence? Can hope still exist if the situation itself doesnāt change? Those are exactly the kinds of questions I can imagine him pondering while watching.
And I actually think heād have quite an emotional reaction when Ragatha says:
But after a while you start to realize that you really canāt leave, and constantly chasing an unattainable goal will start driving you a bit crazy. And eventually, you get to asking what the point of anything is, and you completely lose sight of who you are and why youāre even alive. And when you reach your breaking point, something really terrible can happen.
The parallels are very striking there.
But I donāt want to make this sound too heavy. :D I actually think that whoever is showing him the series (or maybe even before starting it) would probably want to reassure him a little, without spoiling anything, so that he wouldnāt come away thinking the show is only about despair, even though some of its themes are undeniably very heavy.
In general, I think heād find the whole series (and the cartoon style) quite bizarre at first. He would probably spend the first episode wondering what exactly is going on, and I imagine some of the humor would take him a while to understand. I also think heād initially struggle with how hopeless everything appears to be.
On the other hand, I think heād become attached to the characters. I imagine heād realize even during the first episode that thereās much more to them than what we initially see. He would become very curious about their backgrounds, how they ended up there, and how theyāre coping with everything. I also think heād have very strong opinions about all of them. :D
What would probably make him smile the most are the moments where the characters support each other and try to understand one another.
I think the whole concept of the adventures would make him somewhat anxious, but once he realized that they always return, heād also start wondering what that constant cycle is doing to them psychologically over time. I think heād quickly realize that there are many more layers to the series than you would expect from the pilot alone.
And I also think heād probably prefer watching it slowly rather than binging it because he tends to process things very thoroughly, especially when they resonate with him personally. I actually think he could appreciate the dark humor, but Iām not entirely sure how easily heād engage with it while viewing everything through the lens of his own experiences.
And now: I actually havenāt listened to that fan song yet. :D Iām trying not to look up anything fan-related until Iāve finished the series, but I think itās really cool that it exists. :)
Okay haiii Lily !! Im back with something Iād finally like to call:
āØthe hour of yearningāØ
Where I mainly just yap about some ideas I have about certain amphoreus men (phainon and mydei specifically) because I cant sleep without thinking about them and talking about it to those thatāll listen
Anyway back to the thoughts in question:
Iāll be somewhat blunt here: I just crave Mydeiās hands so badly. Like specifically where he doesnāt have his gloves on because you KNOW that despite his hands being through the utter wringer that theyāre still incredibly soft to touch and caress (I wanna say itād likely be the case given his immortality but also just cause he takes care of his skin properly), and I can just perfectly visualize him using those soft hands to cradle your face while kissing you all over, whispering sweet praises in your ear with his eyes still focused on you OUGH.
Also could you imagine how nice massages are with him??? I dunno about you but my lower back and legs (not to mention my neck) suffer so much from soreness and built up tension (#averageartistsproblems + having a large chest lol), so imagine having allat and then him gently massaging your back and neck while leaning over and murmuring just āitās alright, you got thisā or āitās okay, Iām right hereā LIKE AJSKDJAKAHS
Im so normal about Mydei Im so normal.
okay thatās it for tonight imma go sleep and hopefully dream of him, baiii
-šŖ»
Hi again šŖ» anon! :) Sorry for the wait. I love that you called this ask the hour of yearning. I found it very fitting. :D And I really like that you have this certain time of day (or rather, night) where you get into that stateā¦ and that you decided to share it with me. Nighttime always puts me in a creative and/or reflective mood too, so I totally get it. :)
Oh, the hand thingā¦ I could picture this so vividly. And I actually agree with you. I think his immortality definitely comes into play here.
But Iām also thinking: heās someone who pays a lot of attention to his body, who considers nutritious food important and therefore takes good care of his health in general. We also know that he bathes every day (twice, even. :D), so thatās another thing to consider. I imagine he also values proper sleep and routines like that. So yes, I headcanon that he has really nice skin in general. And while fighting would probably give him callouses from time to time, I imagine they would heal quickly. Either way, I think he would make sure to take good care of his hands. I honestly canāt picture it any other way.
And nowā¦ Iām all for tender gestures in general, but Iām just WEAK for face cradling. Itās one of my favorite things because it feels so incredibly intimate. And yes, I can absolutely see him doing that, especially during quiet moments, followed by those gentle kisses. And I also think the eye contact is important here. I can imagine other situations where he gets so lost in the closeness and the intimacy that he simply closes his eyes.
But in general, Mydei is used to paying close attention to everything. Itās simply how heās lived his entire life, especially because he had to fight so much and learn how to survive. Since heās such an observant person, I think that would naturally carry over into intimate moments too. He would want to know how youāre reacting. Mostly because he wants you to feel good and wants to take care of you, but I also think it would make him quietly happy to know that heās the one making you feel that way.
And THE MASSAGES. Ahh. Personally, I love massages when theyāre done well. Not just as something practical, but especially as an act of care. And yes, I know exactly what you mean about the tension. For me it could definitely be worse, but I often get it in my neck and certain parts of my back too, especially when I donāt get enough sleep or when Iām stressed.
And Mydei would be so good at massages. Heās incredibly strong, so heād naturally know how to apply just the right amount of pressure. But itās also his personality that makes me think this fits him so well. He can be very blunt with his words, yes, but I also see him as someone who expresses a lot of his care and affection through actions. So this feels like one of those things he would naturally do.
And I think he could keep going for hours if you needed him to. Thereās something so comforting about that combination of his physical strength, simply feeling his presence beside you (or behind you, depending on where heās sitting), and the quiet intimacy of the moment. I think it would be incredibly relaxing. Apparently I have way too many thoughts about this. :D
I hope you did, in fact, dream about him. :) And thank you again for sharing your thoughts with me. I really enjoyed reading them. Please feel free to share more of your thoughts anytime. :)
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Unfortunately, Iām a bit swamped with real life at the moment and my health hasnāt been the best lately.
Iām also still in a bit of a weird headspace and tend to overthink more than usual. And I think the recent Love and Deepspace discourse didnāt really help with that either. Usually I donāt spend much time lurking on social media, but this one was kind of unavoidable.
Because of that I also havenāt really been in the mood to play anything lately, even though I really want to get back to HSR and Genshin soon. (And after watching the Snezhnaya trailer Iām especially excited for whatās to come. :D)
Instead, Iāve been using what little energy I had left at the end of the day to read more and watch a few shows. And now that the temperatures are finally a bit more agreeable again, Iām also trying to spend more time outside.
So if Iām still a little slower with asks at the moment, thatās why. But Iām still here. :)
Thank you all so much for your patience and your kindness.
