Spiraling Over Complicated Fictional Men

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HONKAI: STAR RAIL

Character x Reader

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PHAINON

-> Phainon Masterlist

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ANAXAGORAS

-> Anaxa Masterlist

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MYDEI

-> Mydei Masterlist

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JING YUAN

-> Jing Yuan Masterlist

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DAN HENG

-> Dan Heng Masterlist

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AVENTURINE

-> Aventurine Masterlist

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SUNDAY

Oneshots:

The Angel Who Stayed (Guardian Angel AU. Modern AU. Angel!Sunday. Forbidden Love. Yearning. Learning Humanity Through You. Getting Together) (Wc: 3028)

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Headcanons:

How Sunday Falls in Love and What He Desires (Wc: 5400)

The First Time With Him (Loss of Virginity) (Wc: 741)

The Gospel of Touch (NSFW headcanons) (Smut. NSFW. MDNI. Worship dynamics. Control/surrender themes. Soft bondage mentions. Biting/marking) (Wc: 2393)

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BOOTHILL

Headcanons:

What He Sees In You (Phainon. Anaxa. Mydei. Dan Heng. Boothill. Separate) (Reader feels insecure about their looks because of past bullying. Comfort. Protection) (Wc: 1721, about 340 per guy)

When You Go E6S5 For Him (And He Realizes It) (Self Aware Characters, F2P Reader, extreme dedication) (Wc: 1084, about 270 per guy)

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BLADE

Drabbles/Shortfics:

To Soothe The Unbroken (Stellaron Hunter!Reader, reader has healing powers, Mara struck Blade) (Wc: 918)

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Headcanons:

When You Pat Him On the Head and Tell Him You‘re Proud of Him (Anaxa. Dan Heng. Aventurine. Blade. Dr. Ratio. Separate) (Wc: 1089 in total)

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DR. RATIO

Drabbles/Shortfics:

Bookmark Behavior Under Novel Conditions (Family Fluff. Dad Ratio. Rainy Day Vibes. Established Relationship. Soft Dr Ratio. Dr Ratio Being Dr Ratio. Children. Slice of Life. Bedtime Stories) (Wc: 842)

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Headcanons:

Which Body Features He Notices When He Stops Pretending Not To (Headcanons + Snippet) (Slightly suggestive. SFW) (Wc: 647)

When You Pat Him On the Head and Tell Him You‘re Proud of Him (Anaxa. Dan Heng. Aventurine. Blade. Dr. Ratio. Separate) (Wc: 1089 in total)

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SAMPO

Drabbles/Shortfics:

For Once, Nowhere To Run (Female Reader. Soft Intimacy. Established Relationship. Tenderness, Vulnerability. MDNI. Smut (Slow and Sweet Lovemaking). NSFW. Emotional Connection. (Wc: 1450)

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ARGENTI

Headcanons:

When You Go E6S5 For Him (And He Realizes It) (Self Aware Characters, F2P Reader, extreme dedication ) (Wc: 1084, about 270 per guy)

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JIAOQIU

Drabbles/Shortfics:

The Right Kind of Warmth (Fluff. Hurt/Comfort. Established Relationship. Exhaustion. Soft Jiaoqiu. Gentle Care. Cooking As Love Language. Touch As Comfort. Massage) (Wc: 791)

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CASTORICE

Drabbles/Shortfics:

The Shape of Nearness (Fluff. Platonic or Romantic (Ambiguous). Comfort. Soft Moments. Emotional Intimacy. Indirect Touch) (Wc: 1052)

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GENSHIN IMPACT

Character x Reader

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VARKA

-> Varka Masterlist

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FLINS

Oneshots:

In the Lanternlight (Romantic Tension. Mutual Pining. Touch-Starved Flins. Emotional Vulnerability. First Kiss. Confession (Kind Of). Light Humor (Flins Being Flins) (Wc: 4486)

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ALHAITHAM

Oneshots:

The Kiss Bet (Fluff. Slow Burn. Female Reader. Friends to Lovers. Intellectual Equals. Banter. Academic Flirting. Tension. Mutual Pining. Kiss Bet. Intellectual Intimacy. Confession. Getting Together. Alhaitham Being Alhaitham) (Wc: 14320)

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WRIOTHESLEY

Headcanons:

Which Body Features He Cherishes The Most (Anaxa. Mydei. Wriothesley. Separate) (Wc: 953, about 300 per guy)

How Wriothesley Falls in Love (Wc: 1223)

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ZENLESS ZONE ZERO

Character x Reader

LIGHTER

Drabbles:

What I See (Mute!Reader) (Wc: 473)

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General Headcanons:

HSR Amphoreus Men: Beach Holiday in Teyvat (feat. Phainon. Mydei. Anaxa) (Wc: 598)

Chrysos Heirs: Restaurant Emergency (Wc: 460)

Theoretical Discourse And Other Disasters (HSR Headcanons: Podcast AU) (feat. Aventurine. Phainon. Anaxagoras. Mydei. Dan Heng. Dr. Ratio) (Wc: 800)

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Phaidei (Phainon x Mydei)

-> Phaidei Masterlist

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So to answer your question: Right now I don’t have anything planned.

And actually… this ask is the first indication I’ve received that there might be a demand for Qifrey fics at all. :D

(I’m assuming you mean reader inserts, although the dynamic between Qifrey and Olruggio is also incredibly fascinating from a writing perspective.)

That being said: You guys know me by now. I could have one moment of inspiration, disappear into a writing haze, and emerge several thousand words later wondering what happened.

So while I don’t currently have any plans, I’m certainly not opposed to the possibility.

Especially if people start sending me thoughts, ideas, or character observations. Because I love talking about him.

And I love talking about Witch Hat Atelier in general.

I am also slightly terrified of writing him. Not because I don’t want to, but because I’d want to do him justice. He has so many layers that I’d want to capture them properly.

But I am definitely intrigued. Very intrigued.

So perhaps there will be developments eventually. Who knows? :D

Thank you for stopping by! And feel free to visit my inbox again anytime. :)

To be honest, those scenes comforted me while I was writing them too, so it makes me smile knowing that feeling came through.

And I really hope things have eased up for you at least a little since we last spoke. I remember you mentioning that things had been rough for a while, so please know I’ve been wishing you all the best.

As for me: the writing and the obsessing are definitely still going strong. If anything, my writing hazes have only been intensifying lately. 😭

Thank you again for stopping by and saying hello. Your message made me smile. And if you ever feel like yapping again, you know where to find me. :) <3

Oh, you definitely have a good understanding of characters. The way you write in general makes me think that you think about things very thoroughly and have really good insights, so please give yourself some credit there. :)

And yes, I’ll be very excited once Luuk gets his rerun. I’m actually sitting at around 70 pity right now, so hopefully the timing will work out nicely. :D

You’re absolutely right about WuWa, too. I do wish they released male characters more often, but when they do, they really go all out. The designs are always gorgeous and I tend to end up liking the characters a lot. Especially when they have interesting personalities, motivations, or backstories.

Haha, what a coincidence indeed. :) It was actually pretty similar for me. I still played WuWa here and there and progressed a little after the last time we talked, but I’m also still trying to catch up on HSR (and Genshin for that matter). Then I had the anime phase I mentioned. Then Witch Hat Atelier happened. And then there’s always writing, which tends to throw me into those writing hazes where time simply stops existing. :D

But I laughed out loud when I read your ask and saw that you had a very similar progression regarding Qifrey. I was relieved. And also delighted.

Because it meant someone understood exactly what was happening to me. 😭

And wait… he appeared in your dreams too?! That’s incredible and slightly concerning in the funniest possible way. The power this man has apparently extends beyond the waking world. :D

Your dream sounds rather ominous, though. Now I’m curious:

a) Have you had any more dreams since then?

b) How far into the manga are you now?

I’m still somewhere in the middle myself, so I have a long way to go. But I’ve found that I don’t actually want to rush it. I keep rereading chapters because I don’t want to miss details, and there’s so much layered storytelling that I often find myself lingering on scenes longer than intended.

I just love it so much.

And omg!! I love that you’re writing a fic for him! Please tell me more if you’d like to. Seriously.

I haven’t properly read fanfiction in a long time, but something about Qifrey makes me want to. And I love that you experienced the phenomenon that happens to me constantly:

“This will be short.”

5,000+ words later: “…oh.” 😭

(It happened again recently with Varka. Before that it happened with Phainon. At this point I think some stories simply refuse to stay contained.)

So as for Qifrey:

Since I’m not caught up with the manga yet, I can only really talk about the impression I have of him right now. I’ve unfortunately seen a few spoilers too, but overall I’m still experiencing most of his story for the first time. Both the manga and anime had me intrigued almost immediately.

When Coco first meets him, he comes across as this gentle, soft-spoken man. A little dorky, even. There’s humor there. Warmth. A very soothing presence. At the same time, you can tell he’s incredibly capable. And then Coco performs that forbidden spell and suddenly you see this completely different side of him. The intensity. The desperation. The way his entire demeanor changes.

And from that moment onward I kept asking myself: “Who exactly is this man?” Because there is clearly so much beneath the surface.

What I find important about him is that both his selfish desires and the genuine care he has for his apprentices can coexist. I don’t think either side cancels out the other.

Of course some of his methods are questionable and I certainly don’t agree with all of them. But I understand them.

He’s so deeply traumatized. I cried quite a bit once I learned more about his condition and past.

It’s heartbreaking. But he’s also a very good teacher.

I love the way he teaches not only magic, but responsibility. The way he encourages Coco to use magic to improve lives. The way he discusses why magic can be beautiful and dangerous at the same time.

He has such a thoughtful way of explaining things. And I love how much empathy he possesses.

He’s incredibly good at comforting people. He treats the girls like children when they need to be treated like children, while also encouraging them to grow beyond their limits.

There’s still so much wonder in him. So much whimsy. And sometimes he’s a little dorky, which never fails to make me smile.

At the same time, there are all those hidden layers underneath. The things he doesn’t talk about. The things he carries.

The chronic pain aspect especially gets to me as someone who deals with chronic migraines. There’s something about seeing a character continue forward despite that constant burden that affects me deeply.

And then there are those moments where his control slips. Where you suddenly see how much desperation is bottled up inside him.

Those scenes give me goosebumps. Because he isn’t always nice. He isn’t always rational. He’s hurting. And he’s willing to go very far to achieve what he wants. One thing that took me longer to process was his manipulative streak. The situation with Olruggio and his memories absolutely floored me. I was shocked, upset, fascinated, and deeply sad all at once.

And the dynamic between Qifrey and Olruggio affected me so much that I had to step away from the manga for a few days afterward.

Part of me wants to shake him. Part of me understands him. Which is probably why I find him so compelling.

I think I’m a little afraid of what might happen next.

So overall: I think he has an incredible number of layers, and I’m certain I still haven’t fully grasped all of them yet.

I’d love to hear more of your thoughts too. And I’d love to hear more about that reader insert. :)

Every single time I think: “This will be a short fic.” And every single time Varka appears somewhere in the distance and goes:

“Interesting. Have you considered emotional slow burn, tension, and at least one life-changing conversation?”

And somehow I always fall for it.

So yes. In between all the Phainon yearning, the inbox shenanigans, the missing hours, and my attempts to progress the HSR story, I somehow got completely sidetracked by a pirate captain and a mermaid.

I regret nothing.

So please bear with me while I disappear into pirate and mermaid brainrot for a little while longer. :D

I haven’t forgotten the asks sitting in my inbox and I fully intend to get back to some of them over the weekend. Unfortunately my thoughts are currently running in approximately seventeen different directions at once and most of them involve the sea.

I am so excited about this story right now. Which is both wonderful and deeply inconvenient because every time I think I’m finished, my brain goes: “But what if one more scene?”

So if you’ve ever wondered what happens when I rediscover one of my oldest favorite genres while also writing Varka… apparently this.

The funny thing is that this idea has actually been sitting in my inbox for months. Back then I wasn’t really in a summer mood yet. Now, however, I’ve been spending more time outside, thinking about the sea, adventures, old stories, and all sorts of things that made me dream when I was younger.

I used to love mermaids. I still do.

I used to love pirate stories. I still do.

I had an old PC game where I was a pirate captain building up a fortress on an island and apparently some part of my brain never recovered from that experience. :D

I also dressed up as Ariel when I was younger, including the red hair. :D

So when I started writing this, I think I accidentally rediscovered exactly why I loved these stories in the first place.

Lonely mermaids. Dangerous waters. Lost treasures. Impossible romances. Adventure.

The feeling that the world is bigger than what you can see.

And unfortunately Varka fits into this sort of story ridiculously well.

The result ended up being longer than intended (which will surprise absolutely nobody who has been following me for a while). And it could have become much longer. But for now I’m actually happy with where I left it.

It feels complete enough to stand on its own while still leaving room for possibility.

And perhaps that is fitting for an adventure story. After all, some journeys are more exciting when you know there are still horizons left to explore. 🏴‍☠️🌊

Anyway.

This feels like a very summer story to me. And maybe also a reminder that sometimes it is okay to simply enjoy the things you enjoy without apologizing for them.

Because apparently all it took was one pirate captain and one mermaid for me to remember exactly why I loved these stories so much in the first place.

Even if those things involve mermaids, pirates, and Varka looking entirely too good standing on the deck of a ship. (Heh.) :D

I’m currently planning to post the fic this weekend. At least that is the plan. (We all know how these things tend to go once Varka gets involved. 😭)

And I’m particularly happy that this was your reaction to those mythology and story-related fics because I was very aware that I had gone full nerd mode while writing them. :D

I knew they were a little more niche than some of my other works, and I kept wondering whether I had perhaps included too many details. So hearing that those aspects resonated with you means a lot.

As for what you mentioned: I don’t actually think that realization is as ordinary as you make it sound.

Stories absolutely deserve to exist on their own, of course. They should be able to stand independently and speak to readers in different ways. But I also think there’s something fascinating about remembering that every story was created by a real person living in a specific time and place.

Someone who had worries, hopes, beliefs, frustrations, dreams. And especially throughout history, writing was not always easy or safe. There are so many examples of authors, poets, playwrights, and artists finding ways to express ideas despite restrictions, expectations, or difficult circumstances. I’ve always found that deeply admirable.

History was actually one of my favorite subjects in school. I loved learning about it, especially Ancient History, although I enjoyed almost all of it. I was one of those people who really liked memorizing dates and events. :D

And from there my interest naturally expanded into literature (although my love for literature existed before that, of course), art, mythology, and all sorts of related topics.

One of the earliest examples I remember was actually The Picture of Dorian Gray. I became very interested in Oscar Wilde himself and the world he lived in, and that curiosity just kept expanding from there.

And during my studies I spent a lot of time analyzing works in exactly this way. Looking at how knowledge, culture, beliefs, and historical circumstances shaped what people wrote and why they wrote it.

Eventually it became something I started doing automatically whenever I encountered a work that fascinated me.

Ah, but now I’m rambling. :D

What I really want to say is that I’m very happy my fics and my thoughts encouraged you to look at stories from that angle. And I’m even happier that it led you to such kind thoughts about me. Thank you for that.

And as for Varka: yes. Absolutely. :D His confidence is one of the things that never fails to affect me. There is something so steady and reassuring about it.

And really, I’ve been experiencing my own Varka missing hours again lately, which probably explains why I somehow ended up diving headfirst into a Pirate Varka AU that became much longer than originally intended. 😭

Apparently giving that man a ship only made the problem worse.

Thank you again for your lovely message, anon. I hope your days have been bright as well, and I hope you’re continuing to enjoy your hobbies and all the little things that inspire you. :)