Oā Tumblr (a parody of Hellfire)
Sung by Codot
Lyrics:
Community Guidelines, you know I am a righteous man,
of my content I am justly proud,
Community Guidelines, you know Iām so much purer than,
the filthy child porn producing crowd.
Then tell me, O Tumblr, why the whole of us must pay,
Why the porno bots canāt be controlled?
I see them, I block them, their posts no longer linger there,
So why are we the ones that you must scold?
O Tumblr! Damn Tumblr! The Tumblr that had been,
Would never allow this! Why purge my harmless sin?
Itās not our fault! Weāre not to blame!
It is the Russian bots and monsters who should pay!
Itās not our fault!Ā You made a plan!
Where womenās nipples are more hunted than the Klan!
Protect us, O Tumblr,
Donāt just become an Apple drone,
Donāt let monopoly control your mind.
Donāt punish creators,Ā
Or we will find another home,
Where we come first and arenāt left behind.
GUARD: Waiting4Codot, your post has been flagged.
CODOT: What?
GUARD: The puppies were mistakes for female-presenting nipples.
CODOT: But how? Nevermind. Get out you idiot. Iāll find a better website if I have to burn down all the internet.
Oh Tumblr! Damnād Tumblr! Now staff the time has come,
Choose us the creators, or see your site undone.
Please just reconsider,
Staff have mercy on me,
Let Tumblr be ours or it will burn!
And yes, I know that, as a voice actor, I wonāt be IMMEDIATELY affected, but a LOT of my friends will be, and that frustrates me. Also, itās only a matter of time before someone makes a horrendous audio post and (given their current behaviour) they wouldnāt even police audio; theyād just get rid of it.
Like the song? Itās available for download on my Patreon (and yes, the track is FREE).