Much More than a Victim

M E D S

AND DRINKIN THAT UHHHH

W A T E R

Still havent showered but bitch

Society likes to talk about the survivors that overcame the bad, and came out kind. 

They like to talk about the childhood sexual abuse survivor who became a social worker to help children in their situation.

They like to talk about the rape survivor who now runs a campaign to help others in their situation.

They like to talk about the domestic abuse survivor who took an stand and found his voice. He now speaks out and spreads awareness for others in his situation. They like to talk about the emotional abuse survivor who found her strength and uses a public platform to empower others.

While these are all amazing things, they can leave survivors that are struggling with the messy parts feeling like they’re ‘wrong’ or ‘weak’ because they can’t handle it so gracefully.

Society likes to tell us that ‘everything happens for a reason.’ 

Excuse my language, but it’s bullshit.

I see you. I see the survivors that went through their trauma and didn’t come out kind, but came out mistrusting and hardened. They came out bitter.

I see the tears. And I don’t mean the ‘beautiful’ crying that you see shown, but the ugly ones. The heart wrenching sobs that take over your entire body and leave your eyes a bloodshot mess and snot coming out of your nose. I see the sobs that consume and can even leave you throwing up uncontrollably. 

I see the angry survivors. I see the screaming and the angry outbursts. I see broken glass. And then there’s the quiet anger. I see the bloodied knuckles, cuts and burns because someone has so much anger but internalizes it to not ‘disturb’ others.

I see you. I see all of you. And there is nothing wrong with you. Society tries to portray us all as these beautifully tragic individuals. No one wants to believe something so terrible could happen in our world. So they deal with it by saying ‘everything happens for a reason, just look at how it changes these people for the better.’

I came out of my rape angry.

in that I’m hungry

But rape doesn’t help anyone except the rapist.  And it just baffles me to this day the way people will excuse rape with, “Well he/she was drunk” or “What was she wearing?” or “He’s a guy though, he probably enjoyed it.”

This doesn’t just mean alcohol

Don’t accept any open drinks

After you get your unopened drink, you keep it in your site

You have to go to the bathroom so you leave your drink on a table? That drink is now dead to you.

You’ve been holding your drink way low out of your eyesight and people are crowding? That drink is now suspect.

Ella Dawson has genital herpes, and she wants to tell you about it. 

She’s not speaking up for the shock value — she’s telling you because she wants all of us to be able to talk about STIs without shame or stigma. When we make it okay to talk about, she says, people are more likely to get tested and less likely to be afraid to share their status. 

In her badass talk at TEDxConnecticut College, Ella tells the story of her diagnosis, how she overcame feeling like “human trash,” and why we need to end the stigma — now. It’s packed with information (and a shot of humor), and if you didn’t already agree with her, you will by the time she’s done.

Watch the full talk or read the transcript here.