babyslut

chrysippus: died laughing at his own joke

zeuxis: died laughing at his own art

aeschylus: stayed outside in his old age to avoid a prophecy that he would die from having something fall on his head, died when an eagle thought his bald head was a rock and dropped a turtle on him to break its shell

plato: partied too hard

empedocles: jumped into a volcano to prove that he was immortal

philitas of cos: was such an incredible pedant that he wasted away while studying erroneous word usage

saint lawrence: roasted alive during christian persecution under valerian, joked that he was done on one side and needed to be flipped over

didius julianus: purchased the roman empire in an auction, ruled for 9 weeks, executed for being ineffective leader