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reddit-tales

What secret will you take to your grave?

In Dutch, when you boil an egg and then place it into cold water to make it easier to peel an egg, it’s called “to scare” the eggs.

One day when I was about 6 or 7, my mom asked me to “scare” the eggs. So, little joker I was, lifted the lid of the pan and yelled “BOOO!”

My mom cracked up and has been telling this story ever since, for over 20 years. She’s come to love the story and still truly thinks that I wanted to really “scare” the eggs. Truth is I knew what “scaring an egg” meant and only wanted to make her laugh because she was in a sad place and time back then.

It’s made her laugh for over 20 fucking years, that means it’s the best joke I’ve ever pulled off and I’d die before I’d let her find out I was just kidding.

melitta4ever

This is the sweetest thing.

weirdnessisgood

sa2ha

heart shaped prescription glasses

toastbutteregg

some things never change

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bitchycode

pinataparty23-deactivated201404

babe get ready for a night on the town, i just found an old Subway gift card and there’s still $9.45 left on it

dogg

shadow-dio-sama

YOU CANT SPELL WALUIGI WITH OUT U AND I

revolutionarytea

Some guy in Ancient Greece, pointing at a perfectly climbable mountain: There are gods up there!

The rest of Ancient Greece: Sick, no need to fact check that

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somanypetals

cacoons

saiasus

I wish Ari would do acting again :(

books-and-cookies

this was honestly a religious experience

spaceyjules-deactivated20180305

If you call pedophilia a kink please unfollow me and never talk to me again

spaceyjules-deactivated20180305

Isn’t it disgusting that 23 people just unfollowed me

clarknokent

Unfollow me too

gothhabiba

this goes double if you call paedophilia a disability. unfollow me twice

closet-keys

and if you call pedophilia an “orientation” or in any way compare it to being LGBP+ you can unfollow, delete your blog, and set yourself on fire.

peachypastel

I just lost 50 followers.. bye

katiemcgrxth

clearing out the trash

bway-grimes

GO ON AND S M A S H THAT UNFOLLOW BUTTON

moonedknights

BUHBYE U McNASTIES

bogleech

I’ve seen this circulating forever and genuinely thought “no way do I have any of them following me” until this week when it turned out I had all these fuckin “MAP” (pedophile) followers sad to find out I’m an “anti” (normal person) Please leave and also please get guinea worm.

flerpdederp

GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY BLOG

bunchofdoodlesinspace

I reblogged something similar to this a while ago but again:

if you support pedophilia,

kindly get the fuck off of my blog.

Thanks.

princet-ofthe-rivers

I reblog these regularly.

STAY OFF MY BLOOOOOOG

littlebabiebear

Shoo fly, don’t bother me👋🏾

fragilelikeabomb0106

Pedophilia is not welcome in the LGBTQ+ community nor are MAPs or pedophilia apologizers welcome on any of my blogs. If you support pedophilia, unfollow me. My blog is a safe space but I will not tolerate the sexualization of children.

pettysag-deactivated20180315

I just love sleep so much ……. like u just close ur eyes and ur gone bitch ………… brain logged the fuck off ……… powerful

i-hate-chick-fil-a

It’s our black thing and it’s uniting all blacks in the world. #Wakanda forever.

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Anya is LIVE right now

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startrekdeepspacenine

me @ very talkative cats: i love you so much. please continue your story. tell me about your day. i love you

bunsen-deactivated20150516

i don’t think there’s anything worse than not being able to finish your lap in mario kart because ur in last place what kind of discrimination is that

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