SERENDIPITY

You must allow yourself to outgrow and depart from certain eras of your life with a gentle sort of ruthlessness.

I love escapism, I love being away from the cruel world, so I find warmth in small things. Buying chamomile to fall asleep and smell a fragrant floral scent; going to bed with a soft toy, imagining that you are hugging someone; baking pancakes to feel cozy in your small room.

“What comes to your mind when I say the word almost? Do you still check under your bed for monsters? What about mirrors? What is your first memory? What is your most treasured memory? If you can have the ability to remember everything, would you want to? What don’t you want to remember? If I say heartbreak, do you see a face or feel the emotion first? Who would be your last phone call and what would you say? Are you afraid of the future? Can you miss a place you’ve never been to? How many friends have you lost touched with? If you could take pain away, would you take away yours or someone else’s? When you look at your reflection, what do you look at first? Can you perfect opening up to someone if you practice it enough? Would you want to? Does running away from problems count as moving forward? What do you think of before going to sleep? Do you check your phone as soon as you wake up? If yes, what are you searching for? Who is first on your emergency contact list? How many books have you read in the past year? When you read a book, do you skim the ending first? Do you have smooth or rough hands? Where do you go when you need to be alone? If home is a person, who is yours? What saddens you more - unfulfilled dreams or a life alone? Who did you want to be when you were a child? Who do you want to be now?”

Who do you first go to when you have good news? Is it the same person when you have bad news? Do you make eye contact with strangers you pass by on the street? If I say love, what comes to your mind first? Where do you feel the safest? How often do you go there? If home is a heartbeat, is it your own or someone else’s? What keeps you awake at night? Do you believe in second chances? How about third? Do you still makes wishes on birthday candles?Are you uncomfortable with silence when you’re in a group setting? If so, why? Which do you dread more: making a phone call or answering a phone call? Do you believe in miracles? When you’re meeting someone for the first time, do you look at something first or do you look for something? When did you stop kissing your parents goodbye? Would you rather relive a certain moment or forget a certain moment? Why? Do you see the glass half-full or half-empty? If you were to list the names of the people you love, what would be the first name? How far down the list does your name appear?

Dear September,

“Where is your safe haven? If you were to pick a memory to forget, what would it be? Why? Does running from commitments count as exercise? If you could go anywhere right now, would you come up with a place or a name? How often do you read a text and purposefully wait hours to respond back? Who would be your first call after an accident? If I say love, do you see a face first or feel the emotion? Do you check your phone often when you’re out with friends? Do you have a good poker face? Who was your first kiss? Is that person still in your life? Do you take some time to check in on your closest friends every now and then? Do you believe in love at first sight? If not, who ruined it for you? How early do you put up Christmas lights? If something makes you laugh loudly, do you cover your mouth or try to muffle it in any way? If so, why? Do you ever count yourself as your own best friend? If someday is now, are you living the way you want to live? If money is not a problem, what would you be doing with your life right now? Where do you keep your secrets? Who knows them all? Are you more of a morning person or a night owl? Have you ever hold onto something an ex gave you? Would you want the ability to replay your dreams? When you talk about a past love, does your voice shake? Do you pause too? Where on your body do you feel anger? What about sadness? Do you wear your heart on your sleeve? Would you be comfortable to? What is your favorite color? What would that say about you? Does forgetting count as starting over?”

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

“Where is your heart? How long has it been there? If you could fill in the cracks, would you? What would you fill them with? If we all have skeletons in our closets, what kinds are in yours? Do you ever open your closet? What keeps you soft? Where is your gentle? If our dreams are just things that our subconscious is telling us, what is yours saying? Are you listening to it? Would you go back to the past and change it if you had the chance and ability to? Why? Does forgetting count as moving on? Do you listen or do you just hear? Where is your soft landing? What’s the nearest object to you? What is its significance? If your home burns down, what would you grab first? Who would you take to your last dance on earth? Who is your greatest what if? If love is a feeling, how does it feel for you? If love is a choice, what do you do with that? Sunset or sunrise? How would you describe your life in colors? What do those say about you? Where does love go when the person is no longer there? Where is yours? Would you take it back? When you look up at the stars during a clear night sky, do you feel small? Do you ever hope that someone is looking up at the same time as you? Does that someone have a name? Where do you keep your promises? Where are you now? Where are you heading to?”