existential dreamer

You're a Jedi Knight. You were raised a soldier, a weapon, an instrument, among those who constantly told you that you must fight for peace and justice. You, however, never had any of those: your life was a constant battle and because of that you rarely had justice you deserved (remember, "true" Jedi are never soldiers, so you are not the one to be rewarded haha it's the Jedi Consular).

You are being thrown into battle again and again and again because you are capable. Suddenly you're the only one who can destroy the immortal entity that threatens to consume the whole galaxy. Why? Oh well it's your Destiny. And so you follow that Destiny, what else could you do?

Everyone around you are chanting how important it is to Destroy The Emperor, how you must do whatever it takes to achieve it, what sacrifices you must take. No one sees you as a person, you carry the Will of the Force and that's natural to everyone around you.

So, then you instantly fail to resist the Emperor and half of the people who were telling you that you are The Only One dies. You are consumed by darkness and again by expectations. You are worthless. The Force saves you just so you can continue spreading it's Will. Yet, you are wounded, scared, humiliated, avoided, never to be the person you were before.

While half of the galaxy is looking at you and is prasing you for your resilience, you do try to look presentable to them: as brave as always, a true hero, the Jedi Knight. In truth, you cannot find yourself, you are being tortured by the constant dark presence in your mind, you have endless nightmares and whispers in your head.

You have Voss to remind you about the Great Sacrifice that you will probably have to make. Once again, the only thing that people would discuss with you is your Destiny: to Destroy The Emperor. You are basically between a rock and a hard place, feeling the immense pressure every day and every night.

And here you are, in one blow you can finally defeat the source of all this nightmare, the Emperor. Would you think of something like "Oh what a true Jedi I am" or "But what if we can redeem him, like the true Jedi would do"?

No. You are a weapon. You have a Destiny. It is to Destroy the Emperor. Once and for all, so none of this will ever repeat and you can become the Hero you were always supposed to be. For peace and justice, you must do that.

And you kill him. You would expect to feel proud, to feel victorious or at least relieved. Instead, you feel empty. All of this feels wrong, incomplete. The Council rewards you, you are being hailed. Yet, your nightmares never go away, your battle does not end here, there is no sudden galactic peace. You feel corrupted and deceived, but have no time or right to show it – there is a war to win.

And then imagine The Horror when JK learns that the Emperor is nowhere near dead.

I mean, the only worse scenario is to be IA... And this feeling of emptiness was so real to me when I finished the story. Felt like I, the player, was deceived too (felt bad but in a good way).