NoriyukiWorks

You’ll be pleased to know this is the last time I’m hosting these awards, so I don’t care anymore. I’m joking: I never did. NBC clearly don’t care either – fifth time. I mean, Kevin Hart was fired from the Oscars because of some offensive tweets. Hello [pointing at himself].

Lucky for me, the Hollywood foreign press can barely speak English and they have no idea what Twitter is. I got offered this gig by fax. So let’s go out with a bang. Let’s have a laugh at your expense, shall we? Remember, they’re just jokes. We’re all gonna die soon and there’s no sequel, so remember that. But you all look lovely, all dolled up. You came in your limos. I came here in a limo tonight and the license plate was made by Felicity Huffman. It’s her daughter I feel sorry for – that must be the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to her. And her dad was in Wild Hogs.

So lots of big celebrities here tonight. I mean legends, icons. Look at this table alone. Al Pacino. Robert De Niro. Baby Yoda. Oh no, that’s Joe Pesci, sorry. I love you man, don’t have me whacked.

But tonight isn’t just about the people in front of the camera. In this room are some of the most important TV and film executives in the world. People from every background. But they all have one thing in common. They’re all terrified of Ronan Farrow. He’s coming for you. Look, talking of all you perverts. It was a big year for paedophile movies: Surviving R Kelly, Leaving Neverland… The Two Popes.

Many talented people of colour were snubbed in major categories. Unfortunately, there’s nothing we can do about that. The Hollywood foreign press are all very, very racist. So fifth time. We were going to do an in memoriam this year, but when I saw the list of people that died, it wasn’t diverse enough. It was mostly white people and I thought, nah, not on my watch.

Maybe next year, let’s see what happens. No one cares about movies anymore. No one goes to the cinema. No one really watches network TV. Everyone’s watching Netflix. This show should just be me coming out going ‘well done Netflix, you win everything. Goodnight.’ But no, no, we’ve got to drag it out for three hours. You could binge watch the entire first season of After Life instead of watching this show. That’s a show about a man who wants to kill himself because his wife dies of cancer. And it’s still more fun than this. Okay, spoiler alert, season two is on the way. So in the end, he obviously didn’t kill himself – just like Jeffrey Epstein. Shut up. I know he’s your friend, but I don’t care. You had to make your own way here on your own plane didn’t you?

But seriously, most films are awful, lazy remakes and sequels. I’ve heard a rumour that there might be a sequel to Sophie’s Choice. I mean, that would just be Meryl Streep going, ‘Well it’s got to be this one then.’

All the best actors have jumped to Netflix and HBO, and the actors who just do Hollywood movies now do fantasy adventure nonsense. They wear masks and capes and really tight costumes. Their job isn’t acting anymore, it’s going to the gym twice a day and taking steroids. Have we got an award for most ripped junkie? No, no point.

Martin Scorsese, the greatest living director, made the news for his controversial comments about the Marvel franchise. He said they’re not real cinema and they remind him of theme parks. I agree, although I don’t know what he’s doing hanging around theme parks. He’s not big enough to go on the rides. He’s tiny. The Irishman was amazing. It was amazing. Long, but amazing. It wasn’t the only epic movie. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, nearly three hours long. Leonardo DiCaprio attended the premiere and by the end, his date was too old for him. Even Prince Andrew’s like, ‘Come on Leo mate, you know, you’re nearly 50 son.’

The world got to see James Corden as a fat pussy. He was also in the movie Cats, but no one saw that. And the reviews were shocking. I saw one that said this is the worst thing to happen to cats since dogs. But Dame Judi Dench defended the film, saying it was the role she was born to play because she – I can’t do this next joke. Because she loves nothing better than plonking herself down on the carpet, lifting her leg and licking her arse hole. She’s old school. It’s the last time, who cares.

Commission- Yukino

TUMBLR TORTURE DANCE (Jojo’s reference)

Glow of porn borrowed from :

Gmeen

DarkerEve

Wappah

Metalowl

Carmessi

Bakudemon

KogeiKun

DISCLAIMER: I have no idea what I am doing. I am just trying to help as many people save their content and data they worked hard on before Tumblr purges all of it. Share and reblog, if any of this crap works.

Tough times with tumblr shutting down NSFW content and artists looking for a new home, sadly the case has been literal for me so I’m doing what I can to bounce back n be positive so if anyone is interested I’ll take on any commission for 10$

1 character sketch = 10$

So, uh, hey, apparently this is an option.

Recently, Tumblr was removed from the Apple app store due to an incident involving child pornography. This incident is incredibly unfortunate, but it doesn’t stand alone. Tumblr was also removed from the app store due to the large influx of porn bots and pornographic spam, users claiming to be proud to be pedophiles, blatant Nazism, racists who are not deleted for sending hate and harassing users, and more. I myself reported someone for harassing me, but because I had blocked the person and couldn’t access the messages where they harassed me, they were still able to send me anonymous asks. Your support staff, with back doors to the website (presumably), claimed they could not access the messages, and I was left SOL. Many features on this website do nothing to actually protect your users from harassment, racism, homophobia, transphobia, Nazis, pedophiles, predators, porn bots, and more. 

You claim in your statement to us that you “have been working on these problems for a long time”. This is blatantly untrue. Please do not lie to us and patronize us. We’ve been here. We’ve seen you do nothing over, and over, and over again. 

We complained to you for months and months about the rampant porn bots, and you did nothing except add a report button on mobile which only reported sensitive content or spam at best. You could have addressed this problem with an effective algorithm, but you did not. We complained to you about being harassed and sent hate speech for being LGBT+, and you did nothing. We complained to you about blogs being randomly deleted, and sometimes you’ve restored them, other times you have not. We complained to you that there were people proudly claiming to be “Minor Attracted Persons”, or pedophiles, and you did nothing. We complained to you about people proudly claiming to be white supremacists, and you did nothing. All of these things are “against the community guidelines”, and yet over and over, you have not found effective ways to handle these problems or suppress the feeling of welcome that these users claim to get here. You have had a long time to work on these problems, but you haven’t addressed them. To say you have is untrue. 

 Multiple other social networking websites, such as Wordpress, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and others have effectively dealt with rampant pornography, racism, pedophilia, and other problems without causing massive issues for their users who are not misusing the platform. They are continuing to find new, effective ways to deal with these issues without causing problems for their userbase as a whole.  There is no reason that you are unable to do this effectively other than that you wanted to do it quickly. You have once again chosen your stock holders over your users. And we have had enough. 

You have already started to ban “Adult” content with a new algorithm. Here are screenshots of just a fraction of the posts you have flagged as containing adult content:

Your new system of simply tackling everything at once is not working. At all. And each of these screenshots is proof of your utter incompetence. None of these posts contain pornographic acts, “female nipples”, or any community violation of any kind. 

We, the users, have been asking you for months to deal with these problems - particularly, the porn bots and bots that spam. In order to block a bot from a side blog, I have to do it manually, even though they are in my side blog’s feed. This is a huge issue for mobile - only users. They keep cropping up in droves, taking over our posts and tricking google into making it look like a legitimate blog linked to a pornographic website. We have complained to you for months and months now, and your solution to simply “ban all adult content” is ineffective. I agree that children should not be able to access pornography - but this is not how you tackle a porn bot problem. Your system is utterly useless, allows for racists, pedophiles, porn bots, and Nazis to remain untouched. It also harms sex workers and real people who may use this website for some forms of adult content responsibly. Moreover, as seen above, it harms plenty of users who have in no way violated your terms of service.

 If you keep this up, you threaten your website and company as a whole. Many of us are backing up our blogs and planning places to go to. 

You already have a content filter for “sensitive” content (content inappropriate for younger viewers). You could have improved this, instead of attacking your entire user base. It seems to be a very lazy “solution”, if you could call it one at all, and one that harms your entire userbase.

If you are going to keep this filter in place and make Tumblr, a website that has never been known for being family friendly and has never claimed to be, you are going to lose millions of your users. We are already planning our exodus. It isn’t hard to follow. Censor us, and we will go somewhere else. That is not a threat. It is a promise. 

Sincerely, 

The users of your website. 

THIS IS FINE!

Just in case, here are some links to other sites i’m on:

Twiiter

Furafinitty

DeviantArt

SO. This is happening. December 17th. From the way they’re phrasing it, comics will still be allowed but a couple of things: First, it’s still kind of vague. Like, “nudity found in art” is up to the discretion of whoever is in control. Art is subjective and you see phrasing like this used to weed out drawn erotica anyway, because somebody at headquarters decides this ain’t art, buddy. Second, you know that this kind of thing is going to get moderated via algorithm with as little human interaction as possible. There will be accounts flagged incorrectly. My account is loaded with words and images that could easily get flagged even if my first point ends up being proven wrong.