Eating Eldritch Ass

“*ruffles your hair*”

“*finger guns*”

“*looks through your stuff*”

“*runs into at full speed*”

“*kisses your cheek*”

“*kicks*”

“*pulls on ski mask*”

“*licks lips*”

“*leaps into your arms*”

“*wiggles eyebrows*”

“*drags you away by the arm*”

“*rolls eyes*”

“*gives you the middle finger*”

“*pokes*”

“*begins to tap dance*”

“*eats a sandwich*”

“*puts hands on hips*”

“*gives thumbs up*”

“*blows you a kiss*”

“*punches your arm*”

“*cracks knuckles*”

“*starts rubbing your shoulders*”

“*takes shirt off*”

“*looks at disapprovingly*”

“*wipes tear away*”

“*taps foot*”

“*gestures to come closer*”

“*blows balloon*”

“*gets down on one knee*”

“*tackles you to the ground*”

“*lights candle*”

“*throws ball*”

“*makes a heart with hands*”

“*smirks*”

“*gives thumbs down*”

“*lifts you into the air*”

“*blows nose*”

“*paints your nails*”

“*puts head on your shoulder*”

“*trips you*”

“*sticks tongue out at*”

“*chokes on own spit*”

“*flexes*”

“*locks door*”

“*glares at*”

“*holds your hand*”

“*pinches*”

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it’s literally the best thing ever?? you can have two characters traveling the country??  learning more about themselves?? learning more about their friends??

you can literally apply this to any couple.  otp?? no problem.  ot3??  hell fuckin’ yeah.  ot5?? you may need to rent a bus for that.

driving shitty rental cars and living off of gas station food and going way too fast down highways with the radio up

alternately: “hell no you cannot survive off of gas station candy I’m taking us to a real restaurant”

getting lost on the way to the restaurant and having to ask for directions at a remote little souvenir shop

going to tourist traps just to buy shitty souvenirs for each other and compete for the most tacky ones.

traveling to super crowded cities and taking a couple of days off just to enjoy the feeling of being lost.  driving down winding country roads and opening all the windows because it’s like being found.

which member of your otp wants to go to super sophisticated cities and which one wants to visit the world’s largest ball of yarn?

staying in shitty motels, okay?  the kind of creepy-not-quite-real aesthetic of neon lights and soft linen and staying awake all night listening to the other person breathe.

alternately: you literally get the chance to write the scenario where the characters trade off seats during the night and the driver keeps looking at their sleeping companion and getting distracted because of the way the moonlight bounces off of their face and ugh

taking turns deciding on the next destination and characters declaring things like “oh my god, I hate the countryside” but they wind up loving it

car karaoke.  someone probably owns the complete collection of disney cds.  they probably take it very seriously.

Below you will find quotes taken directly or paraphrased from the movie 'Labyrinth'. You know, the one starring David Bowie's bulge. Send in one of the following to see how my muse reacts:

❝ I ask for so little. ❞

❝ Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. ❞

❝ Just fear me, love me - do as I say and I will be your slave.❞

❝ You remind me of the babe. ❞

❝ That’s not fair! ❞

❝ Give me the child. ❞

❝ You say that so often, I wonder what your basis for comparison is? ❞

❝ I have been generous up ‘til now; I can be cruel. ❞

❝ You cowered before me, I was frightening. ❞

❝ I have reordered time; I have turned this world upside down, and I have done it all for you! ❞

❝ I am exhausted from living up to your expectations. ❞

❝ Isn’t that generous? ❞

❝ Your mother is a fraggin’ aardvark! ❞

❝ Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for you. ❞

❝ I move the stars for no one. ❞

❝ Your eyes can be so cruel. ❞

❝ If she ever kisses you, I’ll turn you into a prince. ❞

❝ If he ever kisses you, I’ll turn you into a princess. ❞

❝ You’re him, aren’t you? ❞

❝ You’re her, aren’t you? ❞

❝ My will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom as great. ❞

❝ You have no power over me. ❞

❝ How you turn my world, you precious thing. ❞

❝ Well then, come on, which way? ❞

❝ Which way do you want to go, hm? ❞

❝ Was that wrong? ❞

❝ I’ve brought you a gift. ❞

❝ But if you turn it this way and look into it, it will show you your dreams. ❞

❝ In nine hours and twenty-three minutes…you’ll be mine. ❞

❝ Where you goin’ with a head like that? ❞

❝ No, I said ‘allo’, but that’s close enough. ❞

❝ It’s only forever, not long at all. ❞

❝ All right then, throw down your weapons, and I’ll see that you’re well-treated. ❞

❝ Don’t tell me truth hurts, because it hurts like hell. ❞

❝ No one can blame you for walking away. ❞

❝ I don’t know why, but every now and again in my life - for no reason at all - I need you. ❞

❝ The way forward is sometimes the way back. ❞

❝ It’s very rude to stare! ❞

❝ What did you have to go and do a thing like that for? ❞

❝ What’d you expect fairies to do? ❞

❝ What’s the matter, my dear, don’t like your toys? ❞

❝ There’s such a sad love, deep in your eyes. ❞

❝ I’ll place the sky within your eyes. ❞

❝ What kind of magic spell to use? ❞

❝ I’ll paint you mornings of gold. ❞

❝ I’ll spin you Valentine evenings. ❞

❝ I’ll be there for you as the world falls down. ❞

❝ We’re choosing the path between the stars. ❞

❝ I’ll leave my love between the stars. ❞

❝ How you turned my world, you precious thing. ❞

❝ You starve and near exhaust me. ❞

❝ I do believe in you. ❞

❝ I live without the sunlight. ❞

❝ I love without your heartbeat. ❞

                                                                                    ʏ ᴏ ᴜ 

Send an icon to find out:

🍹My muse’s drink order

🍺 What happened the first time my muse got drunk

🍕 My muse’s go-to comfort food

🍪 My muse’s favorite dessert

🍯 If my muse is health-conscious

🍳 My muse’s favorite breakfast