literally just a blonde girl

as stupid as it sounds i’m 99% certain that i’m addicted to weed.

Now hear me out - i know weed isnt a hugely addictive substance but i started smoking it 10 years ago (when I was 17) and I’ve never stopped for more than a month. I struggled with anxiety and still do, so weed immediately felt like it changed my life when even my other meds (antidepressants) helped, but didn’t get rid of the anxiety…

Well, weed did. So, i started smoking EVERY. DAY. and never stopped. I smoke multiple times a day every day and have for about ten years.

Over the past three years ive tried to quit 3-4 times and haven’t been able to. It’s having detrimental affects on my life at this point because i cannot deal with anxiety or stress or really any negative emotions without getting blasted. I get high instead of taking care of things like chores, college work, and time with my partner.

The idea of going a whole day without smoking gives me really intense anxiety.

I know if i tried to quit on my own with help from my partner i would end up lying to them and myself and smoking behind their back. It’s happened before (they were understanding, but it shows how i cannot control myself with it).

All this being said.. it’s also financially ruining me. I cannot afford this anymore, but I cannot quit. I live in a legal state and I have PLENTY of people who would also just give me weed if I asked. I can’t quit on my own, I will just go and get more. I need help and i’m at a breaking point. I love weed and this sucks.