Nonbinary People Who Love Men

It is not unreasonable to want a partner to respect the fact that you are unaligned.

It is not unreasonable to have an in depth conversation with a partner regarding how their orientation relates to your gender.

It is not unreasonable to request a partner to ID as bi/pan/poly out of respect for your gender identity.

You are not unreasonable for wanting your gender respected in every way, especially from a partner.

Respect goes both ways when it comes to sexual orientation and gender identity. No one gets to request I identify how they want me to, and I must give them the same courtesy. 

This post is specifically for nonbinary people who either 1) realized they were nonbinary while already dating someone or 2) where dating someone who’s sexual identity does not match their gender identity is a no-go.

Obviously many of us uncomfortable with such things try to avoid dating people who’s sexuality doesn’t encompass us but dating is tricky and often imperfect and sometimes that just doesn’t work out so you end up in situations that require “the talk”.

The talk involves the 3rd 4th and last point on that list: 1) an in-depth conversation about your gender and their sexuality and what it means in the context of your relationship. 2) giving your partner options as far as other identities if their current identity does not encompass your gender identity 3) ending the relationship if a compromise cannot be made.

The thing is: this is a positivity post telling nonbinary people that it is OKAY to have these conversations. We are so often required to simply sit and stay silent about our genders and compromise our gender for our partners comfort. Again and again it is us that are told to stay silent, to just be happy that anyone would date us, and that we are the unreasonable ones for reminding our partners that, no, they are not dating a man/woman. We are expecting to give up a part of ourselves, our gender, for the sake of our relationship while our partner gives up nothing.

This post is for nonbinary people. It is telling nonbinary people that it is okay to want respect for our gender in our relationships and that it is okay to END a relationship if that respect isn’t met.

This post has made people upset because it has done to binary people the exact thing they demand again and again of us nonbinary people: to weight the importance of their relationship with their sexuality (for us gender) against their romantic/sexual relationship with the nonbinary person.

And, as you said, if their sexuality is more important to them then the relationship is free for them to end. That is the point of this post. Sure this post is specifically from the nonbinary POV since it is for nonbinary people but the point is: if a compromise cannot be met then it is not a bad thing to just end the relationship.

elf 💖 prince nblm moodboard?? or something?? For anon!

For the anon that requested “Could I get a moodboard for an agender person with a crush on a guy, with like a NYC theme?”