AF as Fuck

I’d be nothing without ibuprofen

“This is what they took from you” and it’s a blonde family cooking barbecue in the suburbs? Brother you are racist and fascist over hot dogs? You know you can still do that. Also if you befriend other ethnicities, they will bring cool other food to the potluck. Stupid ass

30 minute recipe? Psh. I can do it in an hour and a half

I hate r*hanna because one time my mom took me to the petting zoo and this big ass goat bit my hand and chased me around the farm and I know in my heart that it was her doing

you know vatican city i’m actually jobsearching myself at the minute

ok ill bite who is taylor swift

“i can’t do this anymore” says a girl who is not only going to do it but do it well

just imagine running on a platform of "actually I think more kids should get lead poisoning" in 2024

Everyone claiming to be attracted to milfs is lying except for this guy

well my goal for 2024 is just to have a good day 👍

"never trust how you feel abt ur life after 9pm" is a spring & summer & fall rule. for winter it's never trust how u feel abt ur life after 4pm