Petal
Help. It has gone black. The sky is black. Earth is frozen and black. The moon is black. Snow is black. Her eyes when open are black. Light is black. Leads are black. The wires that run from them are black. Stars are black. Time is black. But the thought of death is soft and clean and beautiful and white. It’s the purest of the drugs. It’s everything at once.
What if meaning never comes? And i was just someone to fuck? All of life, beginner’s luck? What becomes of all creation if the smallest prayer is firmly answered “no”?
The greatest of the floods. There’s a vacuum where the brightest future was. I’d better warm up my gun in case love is not enough. Sometimes silence is all silence is. I was wrong. Now i’m lost. What haven’t i done? What have i done? What haven’t i done to deserve a cold war on all sides? It’s so bleak all the time. “Stay with me. You’re alone in the center of hell. Just be.” The longest winter i have ever seen. From hospital to hospital. Repeat.
First i need to save the life of god so that god can come and save me from myself. If i have to walk alone, i’m giving up. I can’t stay here knowing love is not enough. Untimely ripped into this world, I was born again as a girl.
