â  all i want in my life is for my friends to be able to touch me suddenly  &  me to not flinch away without meaning to.  when will this stop affecting me?  â
â  all i want is to be soft  &  gentle,  but iâm made out of steel  &  anger.  maybe in another life,  i guess.  â
â Â beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Â so choose to see beauty in everything. Â â
â  burning it all to the ground  &  force them to start again.  they made you lose everything.  now return the favor.  â
â Â do i ever even cross your mind or do i do all the thinking of us on my own? Â â
â Â do you trust me enough? Â do you trust me at all? Â â
â Â donât you dare abandon me. Â â
â Â even after all you have done, Â i will always want you fighting on my side. Â â
â Â every time i see you smile i fall in love with your brightness all over again. Â â
â Â everyone i have ever loved is long gone. Â i sing to the sky alone. Â â
â  everyone i touch gets hurt,  but i canât stop.  i touch  &  i touch  &  i touch  &  people get hurt.  why canât i ever stop?  â
â  everyone says i used to be a hero,  but i can still taste the blood in my mouth  &  still feel bruises blooming because of my fists  &  my eyes are still stretched wide  &  terrified.  â
â Â everything i love has been taken from me. Â what do i have left to fight for? Â â
â Â fall in love with someone that makes you feel strong. Â â
â Â friends are more important than any material object will ever be. Â â
â  i am aching to hold you  &  keep you safe,  to be pressed against you so that nothing can harm you.  â
â  i am divine  &  you will bow before me.  â
â Â i am fucking divine. Â â
â  i am in control  &  i listen to no one.  â
â Â i am not a good person. Â donât pretend i am. Â â
â Â i am not accustomed to love. Â this is a learning experience. Â â
â  i am not worth saving  &  i am not worth redemption.  let me stay in the dark.  â
â Â i am so tired all the time, Â all i want to do is rest. Â â
â Â i am too tired to deal with any of this. Â â
â Â i bow to no man. Â â
â  i broke into sharp pieces when i broke  &  i expect someone else to hurt their hands on my edges just to put me back together.  iâm sorry.  â
â  i can give you your wings back  &  i can show you to fly once more,  if you only believe in me.  â
â Â i cannot be saved. Â â
â Â i canât ask for help because if i ask for help it hurts people. Â i can bear this weight on my own. Â i have to. Â â
â Â i could taste the lies in your mouth every time i kissed you, Â but i loved you too much to notice. Â â
â Â i crave affection in the simplest way. Â â
â Â i deserve to hurt. Â i deserve to bleed. Â â
â Â i didnât ask for any of this so donât you dare blame this on me. Â â
â Â i donât care if you say my name like itâs poison or like itâs a prayer, Â as long as it leaves your lips. Â â
â Â i donât fight for you anymore. Â â
â Â i donât want to let go of you. Â not now, Â not ever. Â â
â Â i donât want to talk about it. Â i donât want to remember. Â i donât want to heal. Â all i want is for it to go away. Â â
â Â i donât want you to touch me. Â please donât touch me, Â just go away. Â â
â Â i feel anger deeper than my bones. Â i feel anger in my very soul. Â â
â Â i feel nothing at all, Â except for when i feel everything all at once. Â â
â  i have fallen  &  though i may miss the sky,  i belong here now.  â
â Â i have fallen from a height your mind cannot even imagine. Â â
â Â i have no home anymore. Â â
â  i remember collapsing in the flames with a sword in my hand  &  then i remember nothing.  â
â Â i see beauty in everything, Â but especially in you. Â â
â Â i should never have fallen in love with you. Â â
â Â i thought for a long time that i was so terrible no one would look at me. Â now i know itâs because i shine so bright they are forced to look away. Â â
â Â i was so caught up in the feeling that i forgot how to breathe. Â â
â Â i will never amount to anything. Â i am a failure in the worst type of way. Â â
â  i will tell myself that the burn of my loneliness in my chest completes me  &  maybe someday it will be true.  â
â Â if thatâs what a hero is iâm glad iâm not one anymore. Â â
â Â if you ask me to, Â i will set the whole world on fire, Â my dear. Â itâs all for you. Â â
â Â is it my fault? Â itâs my fault. Â itâs always my fault. Â â
â Â itâs not murder if they deserved it, Â right? Â â
â  iâm drowning in emotions that donât belong to me,  choking on anger  &  suffocating on sadness.  â
â Â iâm in love with everything that hurts me. Â â
â Â iâm okay. Â iâm alright. Â this is all in my mind. Â â
â Â iâm ready to give up everything iâve ever had if it means someone will love me. Â â
â  iâm so cold  &  i canât stop shaking.  i am not who you think i am.  â
â  iâm so tired all the time  &  i just want to be awake again.  â
â Â iâm tired of fighting against the pain of being forgotten. Â i just want someone to remember me. Â â
â Â iâm tired of fighting everything in my life. Â just make it stop. Â â
â Â iâm too tired to care. Â blow up, Â get angry at me. Â iâm sure someday iâll realize i deserved it. Â â
â Â jealousy burns within me. Â â
â Â just let me go in peace for once in my damn life. Â â
â  loneliness is a disease  &  it leaves me empty  &  hollow,  like sound goes through my body  &  bounces back.  â
â  made of starlight  &  sunshine,  i shine brighter than they all know.  â
â  my anger is righteous  &  my actions are pure.  â
â  my chest aches  &  my lungs burn.  this sickness comes from the inside.  â
â  my chest hurts  &  all i need is some comfort  &  understanding.  â
â  my chest hurts  &  i ache to go back to the sky.  â
â  my shoulders are aching where wings used to be  &  all i want is for them to stop hurting.  â
â  pull me apart  &  piece me together in your own way.  make me perfect.  â
â  righteous fury throws through my veins  &  if you touch the people i love i will destroy you.  â
â Â rise up. Â you canât keep being small when you were made for so much more. Â â
â Â say my name like itâs the only one thatâs ever been on your tongue. Â â
â Â so much blood has been spilled in my name. Â time to make you believe it was in yours. Â â
â  so youâll worry about me when i fall silent,  but not when i scream  &  plead for help?  fuck off.  â
â Â sometimes people have to get hurt for me to get what i want. Â â
â Â stay away from my fucking friends. Â stay the fuck away or so help me i will destroy you. Â â
â  stop treating me like iâm an idiot.  you arenât better than me in any way  &  you better remember that.  â
â Â the bitter taste of regret is ever present on my tongue. Â â
â Â the world is spinning far too fast for me to stay on it. Â â
â Â to love them is my divine right. Â â
â  voices whisper from the shadows  &  they fill my mind with thoughts of you.  â
â Â what did i to wrong to be so unloved? Â â
â Â what is the point of power if iâm not supposed to use it? Â â
â Â who the fuck do you think you are? Â â
â Â why canât i ever fucking stop crying? Â â
â  with a new year comes new tests  &  triumphs.  letâs try to make the most out of it.  â
â Â would it really kill you to be honest for once? Â â
â  yes,  i remember my wings breaking  &  being destroyed.  i was powerless to stop it.  â
â Â you are not required to love your parents, Â or to even like them. Â â
â Â you canât hate me more than i hate myself, Â but you are more than welcome to try. Â â
â Â you may say you love me, Â but you love only a part of me. Â i am too complex for you to ever love my entire being. Â â
â Â you never fucking cared about me. Â donât fucking lie about it. Â not to me. Â â
â Â you remind me of mint. Â fresh, Â sharp, Â kind of cold, Â but in a nice way. Â i always knew there was a reason mint was my favorite. Â â
â Â you shine light in even the darkest parts of me. Â you are my sun. Â â
â Â you should fear me, Â but you donât. Â i will be eternally puzzled, Â yet grateful. Â â
â  you touch me  &  my skin burns  &  it burns for you,  always you.  â