No Context Jennifer Juan

“A girl just slut dropped literally in my face.”

“When I am prime minister, I will make being a heterosexual man a criminal offence.”

“Madonna gets her bum out on Instagram once and everyone is suddenly the purity police.”

“The bathroom had the best light so hello x”

“Think I might give up self loathing for lent.”

“I get that Miss Thing wanted a lil red herring moment but that shit traumatised me for the whole of my life and I don’t think the added twist was worth the trauma I suffered, to be honest.”

“I think I’m celebrating international women’s day by being as problematic and chaotic as I want, and just painting anyone who calls me out as a misogynist.”

“She doesn’t understand why she was being referred to as Mother, and who was doing it. Still a bop tho.”

“I am literally begging her to leave homosexuals alone.”

“Also, men can make themselves sandwiches and I’m too busy doing lesbian sex correctly to make food for capable, lazy men.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be fascist on main, but I really cannot deal with this anymore and it absolutely will be a capital offence when I am prime minister. It’s for the best.”

“Not to be a Catholic about it but I am v shocked to see boobs on Disney plus.”

“Retiring to bed to write a horrid story about a haunted nuclear shelter x”

“Wearing trousers or covering up my boobs too much is against my religion.”

“The nurse couldn’t find my cervix so had to call a doctor. I started crying and panicking cos I didn’t know where it had gone but the doctor managed to find it in the end, so everything is fine 🫶”

“If this were addressed at me, I would simply log off, throw my phone in a river and move to a remote location where nobody knew my name.”

“Keep it in jail forever.”