iz

You always arrived late for the holidays. It was a complaint that your mother had made for well over three years since you had moved away. "I hardly get to see you anymore," she would pout, soaking in the time you spent curled up on the couch, catching up on sleep while she let you rest your feet in her lap. 

The holidays were for rotting, growing into the couch, and conforming to its shape for as long as you could before having to be plucked up and tossed back to the monotony of work and school. Your childhood bed would wait the time between stays, still tucked in the corner, the footboard just under the window, catching the pale curtains your mother pushed back when you were away to air out the stale space. 

It was easier to throw yourself back into the nostalgic bubble for a week at a time, maybe two if you were lucky enough to have saved up sick days to cover the shifts you didn't quite ask for off when picking vacation time. When you were away at school, the only thing you missed more than your mother was her cooking and the way the house churned softly in the night, and not as loudly as your apartment did in a city you had only dreamed of keeping you awake. What you hadn’t known was that the underpass would be right outside your rented window and people would speed down honking as they tailgated or that you were a light enough sleeper to hear every swirling tire on wet asphalt. coming back to your hometown, the only sound keeping you from sleeping was the spare tumbling of the ice in the fridge if it had been left on to fill the ice box, and even that you could turn off if you cared enough to climb out of your pile of blankets and down the nightlight illuminated hallway to the kitchen. 

Coming home, just after the rush of the huge holidays and into the calmer one filled with streamers and countdowns instead of lights and repeating songs, you could afford to stretch out on the sofa for as long as you wanted without guilt. Here in the purgatory between classes and aprons, you could let your mother take care of you in the way she missed and in a way that you were leaning into because she had been right all those times about how tiring adulthood was. If only you had listened and spent more time doing exactly this: movie marathon sprees with leftover holiday cookies and candies that had been put away just for you and your arrival, your sweatpants bunched around your calves, socks slouchy around your ankles, and a sweatshirt you had forgotten you loved so much, found pushed in the back of you half emptied drawers pulled over your shoulders as you stretched out on a sofa that was far to big to ever fit in your tiny apartment if you had even wanted a similar experience. 

There was little that could disturb your peace, not when you were cresting the season finale of a show you had been waiting to watch in an uninterrupted stint of relaxation. That was until the doorbell rang, the chime cutting through the scene on screen like a momentary announcement from an intercom on an airplane. "Coming!" you call out, reaching for the remote to pause the TV, scrambling to stand and open the front door for who you assumed was your mother coming back from grocery shopping. 

You didn't even really look as you opened the door, using the handle to hold yourself steady as you slipped on your shoes to help carry in any of the bags left in the trunk of her car. You had only half toed on the sneaker turned on its side when he spoke up. "I didn't know you were back visiting,"

Everything in you freezes cold, not only from the draft the open door was letting in, but from the shock of the gravelly voice meeting you. Huening Kai had grown up down the street, on the corner house, in the bedroom right next to your best friends. It had only been a year since the last time you had seen him, no other interaction popping up besides the occasional like on a post you made. And even then, you could hardly reciprocate by liking anything back; he was private, posting little, and when he did, it was hard to forget just how much space he could take up not only in your mind but in the doorframe he stood now. 

"y-yeah," you breathed, fumbling to find anything else but an exhale at the sight of him. dressed down in a cream knit sweater, rolled up around his forearms, hooked in the crook of his elbows, veins threading up the back of his hand, flexed around a red toolbox handle. His jeans hugged his hips just right, not like they had last time, when they were just loose enough to show the band of his underwear clinging to him. But that had been almost intentional, his lean frame lazy as he leaned back against the couch in the basement of Beomgyu's house, his only drink of the night nursed in his hand moments before you had walked down the stairs in your New Year's dress, sequins catching the light from the lamp, a run in your tights right at the inside of your thigh. 

He had been the one stumbling for words then, thrown off by your presence like you were a storm he hadn’t seen on the horizon, his ship swaying back and forth enough to distort every attempt at shy conversation about the city and your impromptu homecoming. His eyes caught on the dotting of skin peaking out between the rip in your tights, enough so that you had to tilt his chin up with the knuckle of your index finger to catch his blushing apology. 

But that had been last year, when you had only once chance of seeing him again, like you had the year before, and even the year before that. It was easier to see him when you were expecting it, dressing up, dressing down, sneaking away, and kissing at the drop of the ball in the fluorescence of the kitchen while the party hummed right under your feet. even easier when he walked you home, detouring at his place where he kissed the run of your tights all the way up and under your dress, ripping into the fine mesh and devouring you like you were strangers, and not childhood friends who avoided the topic of mutual crushes that felt easier to brush off as unrequited than avoided. 

You had skipped out on the invite to any New Year's party while back home, eating grapes tucked on the couch next to your mother, who had rolled her suitcase out the front door, trying to work magic into the new year with every superstition she could get her hands on. Lea had moved away, gotten a job in a big city much like your own, and most of your childhood friends had families to spend the time with, or were in the only bar your tiny town had that didn't hold anything but people you most definitely didn't want to spend time with without your friend by your side. 

"You didn't stop by." It’s not accusatory, it's an observation, one he notes down but won't hold against you because he never does, not even when you feel like you use him, not even when you know you have. 

Your hands jump to the hem of your sweatshirt, fingers catching in a loose thread that you twirl around the tip of your finger until it hurts. It wasn't that you didn't want to see him; you always did, but it was easier when it was at the end of your stay, not at the beginning. If it was on the last day that the two of you found yourself hooking up in his bed, yours, or the back of his hand-me-down truck, you could brush it off like it was nothing, like it meant nothing when he called you baby and kissed the edge of your lips, because you would be leaving, and he would stay the same, waiting for the new year to see you all over again. "I've been catching up on sleep, had to recover after all my finals," 

And maybe you had been bracing yourself to be told one day in the middle of a casual conversation with your mother that Kai had found a girl. One he didn't have to wait for, one he didn't have to hide, one that would share his bed for longer than a few hours, recover and meld with the sheets after finals instead of one who had to wait until they were ready, polished and perfect for one night with him even when you knew he would take you exactly as you were every time. It would have been easier to hear it from her than to visit his place and have him turn you away, or worse, to walk down the stairs to find his lap occupied with anyone but you. 

Every year, you felt that day drawing near, because every time you left him and went back to your life in the city, you were reminded that, as much as he seemed to stay the same, it was selfish to think he would wait for you. And yet… "I missed you, but I'm glad you're getting rest in. I'm sure it’s hectic out there in the city." 

Your stomach flipped, heat crawling up the back of your neck, from his words, from your lack of proper presentation. It wasn't as if Kai hadn’t seen you in your pajamas before, but that had been before you could curate your image to make yourself seem like more than the same girl who had always let his words turn to butterflies once you had digested them. "Lots of noise," you nod, not knowing what to do with yourself, watching him stand there, with his freshly dyed hair making him blend in with the snow unmelted in the yard and on the rooftops of the houses with their steaming chimneys. 

"Your mom called me, asked if I could help fix the hinge on the back door, could I have a look?" and you almost want to kick yourself, because of course he’s here to help and not to just see you, he hadn’t even known you were home, let alone given you the impression that there really was no girl waiting back at his place for him to get back as soon as possible to. 

"Of course," you step aside, widening the door and kicking off the single shoe you had been trying to put on before you realized it was him. You walked ahead of him, cringing at the way you knew you must have looked, a blanket personified, a mess of oversized clothes, cookie crumbs still caught in the threads of your sweatshirt, padding across the kitchen to the backdoor in a pair of socks that you knew were getting thin right at the heel, enough so that you could feel the cold kiss of the hardwood with each step. 

"It’s been so long since I've been over," Kai mutters, head on a swivel as he takes in the kitchen, the same one he had helped you make cookies in only two new years eves ago. Your parents off on some trip, leaving you alone in the house, not having known you would make it so late to celebrate with them when they had already booked non-refundable tickets. 

There had been dough in the freezer, water in the fridge, and coffee beans sitting on the counter, the pantry empty of anything truly edible, and you had been lazy enough to not care and just order out. That was until Kai came over, hair a mess from your fingers tugging at the strands all night, his shirt on your back as you sat on the counter watching him try to roll out half-defrosted cookie dough in nothing but his boxers. flour hand prints digging into your hips, laughing into each other's mouths like it was more than just playing house for the weekend. 

Two years ago, it had been your bed, this kitchen, last year his, and this year you hadn’t even called. 

"Looks the same, doesn’t it?" and you wonder if he’s thinking back to that night too, where he stood between your legs, looking up from under his lashes at you, letting you tuck his hair behind his ears. 

"With less flour," he chuckles, twisting the lock on the back door, pulling it open until he can hear the squeaky hinge, watching the way it gets caught on the hardwood, following the scratch marks that had already been left from it being forced open so many times. The top hinge was rusted and broken, causing the door to lean far enough to dig into the floor. Kai places his toolbox from home down at his feet, pushing up his sleeves once more, drawing your attention to the corded muscle his forearms are made of, flexing moments before he reaches up to the hinge to examine more. 

You know you should probably leave him to his work, let him do whatever it was your mother wanted, curl back up on the couch, and play your show like it was nothing to have him roaming around in the space you had once pretended was his and yours. Maybe you should have taken the break in time to find new socks, or maybe clothes that you hadn’t kept on for over two days. But your mouth is dry, body moving at a glacial pace as you think about what you should say to fill in the silence, anything that will be able to hide the way your body reacts to the grunt he lets out when trying to twist the screw between his knuckles. 

It’s only when the front door opens that you can turn away from him, your mother rushing in, grocery bags stacked up her arm as she kicks off her shoes. "I'm home!" she calls out as she walks into the kitchen, a huff on her lips as she places the bags on the counter, "and late! I completely forgot about book club, hell I didn't even finish the book," she doesn't even try to take off her scarf or coat, only pausing so long to kiss your cheek. "and Huening! Thank you so much for coming over, you're a lifesaver. Every time I open the door, and it gets caught, it just ruins my day. And oh! don't tell your mom I didn't finish the book that stays between us in the kitchen," 

"I promise your secret is safe with me, and it’s no problem, anything to help," Kai bends down to rustle in his tool box, and you busy yourself with unloading the groceries, your mother pulls out her wallet, taking out a few bills and setting them on the counter. 

"for your help-"

"Oh no ma'am, it’s okay, it’s nothing-" Kai tries to wave her offer away, but your mother waves harder. 

"Oh hush, if you don't take it at least let my daughter buy you dinner for the help, but I have to go guys, don't wait up!" and shes out the front door as fast as she had arrived, her book from the coffee table tucked under her arm, the engine of her car turning over and it was only you and Kai. 

You try not to draw too much attention to yourself, even when you can feel kais eyes every once in a while as you stock the fridge and pantry. It feels revealing in a way it never really had before. It was not some set dressed up for the holidays, they had passed, and you both were still here, you weren't able to run away, turn and leave back to your apartment after a night or two, because you had already sectioned off time to spend rotting. And now your mother was pulling him into your orbit when you had already convinced yourself that he wouldn't want to see you a third year in a row. 

It didn't take him long to fix the hinge on the door, testing it out by opening and closing it a few times to make sure. You lean back against the counter, one foot on top of the other, arms crossed as if that would cover you up any more than you already were. "All done," he smiles, bending down to put away his tools, snapping the locks back into place, the sound like darts on a board, like notches on a bedpost. He doesn't pick up the toolbox when he comes back to standing.

For a moment, it’s just you two looking at each other, his eyes like fingers, brushing down the front of your frame, and you offer up the only thing you can find to bridge the conversation forward without making it obvious that you could hardly handle his presence: "Dinner?" 

He shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans, the act tugging them down just the barest hint, but enough that you know he’s caught you staring. He smirks, boyish and lighthearted, turned down on the edge of your favorite side to kiss, like he’s no better, like he knows what he does to you, and mutters, "I could eat." 

And you want to say you don't picture him last year, pushing up your dress, ripping into your tights, kissing right over the wet spot building in your panties, the ones you had picked just for him, but it would be a lie, and he’s always been able to read the truth from you even on your best days of acting. "I should probably get changed," you hike your thumb over your shoulder. He knows the way; he’s stumbled up the stairs after you before, fingertips on the back of your thigh, finding the warm spot the hem of your dress had ridden up to with each step to your bedroom. 

He can sense the invitation in your words, the same as you could sense the innuendo in his. It’s soft but there, like lashes on your cheeks when you close your eyes. He could turn you down, keep himself right where he’s standing, wait for you to come back down, but both of you know that it’s not what either of you wants. So you turn, giving him the option to do what he will, stay, or follow. 

You wonder with each creak of the stairs underfoot if he’s thinking back to every new years party the two of you snuck away from. How you had left open the invitation just the same as this one, leaving the basement first with an excuse to get ice, his eyes following you, only minutes before he was behind you, like walking in your footsteps in the snow, matching them, heel to toe. You didn't have to look back to know it had been him, didn't question if it would break you in half to be left alone, kiss-less and fragile. He'd treat you like a stranger, like you had dressed for yourself and not put effort into every little thing you wore, imagining what his hands would look like peeling away the layers, imagining what the fabric would look like pooled at your ankles on the floor of your room, or his. 

And when you hit the landing, you realized this would be the answer to whether or not you were as distant as you loved to pretend you were. 

You kept your bedroom door open, wide enough for him to know he was welcome, and as you pull off your sweatshirt, you know he’s accepted his invitation. 

Letting him watch you get undressed feels so much more intimate than letting him handle the undressing. standing in your tank top, wrinkled and softened with age, you hear the creak of the doorframe, the groan of the wood rolling out into the space as he lets himself get comfortable. Your stomach flips, and you sneak a look at him over your shoulder, "You're just going to watch?" You would let him, his heavy gaze on your shoulders, your hips, his jaw tight enough to let you know that he was holding back. 

The two of you had moved past being shy long ago, maybe it had come with age, or maybe with the realization that you wouldn't always be around, and he should take all he could get while he could. So he stepped forward, slow as you hooked your thumbs in the waistband of your sweatpants, wondering how plain you must seem to him now, like this, dressed in cotton and hazy relaxation against the backdrop of a room he had seen so many times before, only now it was half-slept in, wrinkled duvet still pushed to the wall. 

You can feel the heat of him at your back, not quite touching but enveloping you nonetheless, your chest rising and falling as you try and fail to keep yourself calm. He reaches out for you, fingers light and cold on your shoulder, ghosting over your skin, causing goosebumps to rise in their wake. His hands find yours, interlocking your fingers, pulling your linked hands right to your stomach as he finally draws you flush back into his chest. 

"I waited for you on New Year's," he mutters, lips brushing over the thin strap of your tank top, a single feather light kiss stealing away anything you could come up with as an excuse to explain yourself. "watched the stairs all night," his nose brushes along the side of your neck and you lean back into him, melting into the lullaby of his voice, "wondered how desperate I'd look if I messaged you at midnight," 

"Huening…" and even if you felt bad for saying nothing at all, not even mentioning you were in town, you couldn’t help yourself from being happy that he had waited, that he had kept you in his mind instead of as an afterthought when there was no one around to share a quick kiss with. 

"I kept thinking about you and some loser at a bar in the city," he plants soft pecks right behind your ear, your sensitivity peaking with each one, "contemplating how awkward it would be to text Lea for your address, and I mean it’s not a secret how long I've had a crush on you but it would have been a new level of hopelessness." 

"I didn't think…" but your brain starts to malfunction as he guides your hands down back to your waistband, mouth drying as he hums in question, the rumble of the sound radiating along your spine. "I didn't think that you cared enough to wait." 

Kai huffs a humorless laugh, his nose back dragging along your shoulder before he lets his forehead drop, leaning his weight on you as if you had just wounded him more than just stating the truth of your emotions. "Didn't think I cared enough to wait?" 

He pulls his hands away from you, tugging himself back up straight before turning you around to face him. Your hands instantly fall to his chest, nails scratching along the cable knit of his sweater, avoiding his eyes and the way his brows were scrunched.

"You always do that," he bumps the knuckle of his pointer finger under your chin, demanding your attention, "acting like you don't know how much I want you," he looks down at your mouth, at the way you swallow. 

You can remember that first time back home from break after you had moved away, spending the night at Lea's, blankets all over the floor of the living room, popcorn spilling onto the carpet, a movie marathon playing just loud enough for the conversation to carry over it. Kai had pushed open the front door, his laugh cutting off at the sight of you, wearing those same tiny shorts you always insisted on, the smooth expanse of your thighs on display for him as you waved at his and Beomgyu's entrance. Kai had stuttered over his words, mixing hi, hello, and sorry, like they were one word instead of three, and Beomgyu had teased him all the way back to his room. 

He remembered thinking then that you had only kissed him in the kitchen that night, well after everyone was asleep, because you had pitied him, but his opinion had only changed slightly when you had crossed paths again that same trip, where you caught up like you hadn’t just kissed him the night before. 

"But you know, I think I have you figured out…" Kai's voice drops low to a whisper as he leans in, nose bumping your own, lips catching your soft expectant exhale, "You act all shy at first, putting up little walls that only get broken down after I fuck you like a stranger one good time, usually after I've followed you up the stairs of someone's house ready to beg for one kiss," 

You hate to have been so easily read. He listed it like some checklist you both loved to follow, time and time again, but it always took that first push to finally get you over yourself, to finally get him to take the initiative. Neither of you ever really realized how much both of you wanted each other, holding back until that single excuse of a New Year's tradition was waved in your face like the checkered flag that sent you off to the races. And time and time again, all you want to do is avoid that truth, to play pretend that you two don't know each other, that it’s all just sex, because it’s so much easier to say that than admit anything else. at least until after, because you found it so easy to play house with him, to play boyfriend/girlfriend. It was why you only gave yourself one day, why you had known going to see him when you still had a week left in your vacation would only complicate things. 

Yet here you are, standing before him again, wanting to hide, wanting him to follow the same list you always did, kiss and then kill. "Are you going to do it?" his hands squeeze at your hips, thumbs pressing hard into the skin where your tank top had ridden up. 

"Beg to kiss you?" he bumps your nose with his again, lips just brushing, tantalizing like it’s own soft plea. He had begged before, and he would waste no time in begging again. 

"No," your hands slide down his sweater, fingers just catching on the buckle of his belt, before you whisper into his mouth, "fuck me like a stranger," 

You can feel the way his breathing stills, his body already so close to yours, pupils dilating moments before he catches your lips in a desperately hungry kiss you had been waiting for. It's numbing, pushing past every wall you set up around yourself, his mouth so familiar you lose any resolve you have and tug at his belt, undoing the leather and fumbling for the button at the top of his jeans. 

Kai pushes his hands into the waistband of your sweatpants, his hands cold along your back, making you moan in his mouth as he slides them along the curve of your ass, pulling you in incredibly closer to him. he squeezes your flesh, hard enough to hear you make any little noise again. Being quiet had been a part of your game for years now, but he loved to test his ability to break you, drawing out any sound he could, swallowing them down with each kiss or clasping his hand over your mouth when you couldn't stop when he had gotten you started. But you were alone now, and he ached to hear you, to add to the playlist of your whimpers that he played over and over again in his mind when you were away. 

You had just zipped down his zipper, fingertips looped in the elastic of his underwear to pull them down, when he pulled away. breathless, panting lightly, lips shining and kiss-swollen as he shook his head, "wait, if you touch me right now, it will be impossible for me not to cum," he mutters, leaning his forehead against your own, catching his breath. The statement makes your stomach erupt in butterflies; his raw honesty is thick in his throat, like honey, unashamed by the way you make him feel. He’s admitted it before, between apologies, always inadvertently edging himself when all you wanted him to do was let go, keep going. 

"You can always finish more than once," and you liked it better that way, how sensitive it made him, tears prickling so fast at the corners of his eyes, his throaty moans turning to weak whimpers. he liked to drag that part out, like he might use you all up without meaning to, even when you told him he had permission. You loved how easily moldable he was, how fast he got hard from a single kiss, or even just the thought of kissing you; now was only proof. 

"I know," and he pushes down your sweatpants, letting them pool around your ankles, "I just want to give you what you want first, before I let you ruin me," 

It makes you huff a laugh, as if both of you didn't do the same thing to each other. He steps back, pulling his sweater off by the back of his collar, his simple chain necklace pulled too far to the back of his neck. You reach out, tugging it forward, and instinctively he follows the direction until he can crash his lips to yours again. Neither of you cares how sloppy the kiss turns, not when the back of your knees hits the mattress, not when he pushes you back, breaking the kiss and sending you sprawling against the wrinkled sheets. 

You sit up on your elbows, letting him trace his eyes over you, over the way your nipples are hard enough to be seen through the incredibly thin fabric of your tank top, the straps falling down your shoulders as he looks down over the spot of arousal building in your panties. He takes a step closer, and you widen your knees for him to fit into the space before he reaches down, skimming his fingers over you, starting right under your breasts, dragging so slowly across your stomach, going farther and farther before he cups you over your clothed cunt. 

His hum is teasing, your thighs trembling at the sound, "all this for me?" and with two fingers he presses down right over your entrance, the heel of his palm pressed flat against your clit, your mouth opening in a silent gasp as you nod in response. It takes everything in you not to close your legs around his hand, to reach down and guide him under your panties, rushing to get him inside you as fast as you can. You want to, and he knows it, and maybe you're just like him, right on the edge from nothing more than a few kisses and even fewer promises. 

Dragging his fingers up and down, he soaks in the sound of your half let out whimpers, your teeth digging into your bottom lip as you start to grind your hips to meet the direction of his slow teasing. Kai found it easy to get lost in you, in the way you felt, the way you tasted. He was mesmerized now just watching the way your body jerked as he slid a single finger between the soiled fabric and your slick folds. You widened your legs more for him, anything for him to just keep going, before he pulled down your panties, dragging them off and to the floor. 

"Turn over." he said it from the depths of him, deep and dark, a command you didn't question to follow. 

You scrambled to get on your hands and knees, his hands on the small of your back, fingers splayed, eating up the space until he twists a fist into the fabric of your tank top. It’s testing, your eyes caught over your shoulder watching the way his arm flexes at the strain, his free hand sliding down your thigh, leaving goose bumps blooming along your skin, impatience twisting in your stomach. "Kai-" you can hardly get his name out before you feel his slim fingers meet your clit, circling slow. 

Your body jerks forward, but you can hardly move when he’s got you held like this, "God, I missed you," and you don't care if he’s talking about you or your body so long as he wants you as badly as you wanted him. You would let him use you, offer yourself up on a platter just like now as you pushed back into his hand, meeting the drags of his fingers through your wetness, unashamed at how blatant you were as you arched your back and whined, soft and begging in its own way. 

"Do you know how often I imagine this?" he says it so casually, like he’s not teasing your entrance, prodding his fingers in and out, listening to the sound of your shuddering breath, "every year I wait for you to come back, spend my time trying to remember just how good it feels to touch you, and when I finally get my hands on you again, like this…" his grip on your tank top tightens and he pulls you back onto his fingers, knuckle deep before he mutters, "I question exactly why I let you go when you feel this fucking good," 

"Hyuka-" and he pulls his hand from your cunt, you let out a weak whimper, pushing back to try and chase him, but he hardly lets you before he drops his hand to the back of your neck, pushing you down until your arms buckle and your cheek is flush against the mattress. 

"Don't call me that," the rustling of his jeans accompanies the gravel of his voice, "you said you wanted me to fuck you like a stranger, calling me by a nickname isn't that." The words slide down your spine like water, and you know he only says it because hearing you revert to niceties makes him soft. He will just about melt at the sound of his name on the edge of your lips, but hearing you stripped back to whimpering nicknames is like a bullet to the chest. He would be down bad and cumming under a minute. 

You try to close your mouth, attempting to stifle the sound that threatens to break free from you when you feel the tip of his cock being guided along the seam of you. mentally, you try to prepare for the stretch of him, but your body does not relax at the anticipation of having him exactly as you wanted him over and over again. And when he pushes in, he isn't slow or testing; he’s punishing. You can't help but cry out, fisting the sheets until you feel your knuckles creak, his moan deep from the pressure of you squeezing him like a vice. 

This was exactly what he had been worried about, the intense struggle of keeping himself sane, because there were only two options, two roads for him to travel when he fully bottomed himself inside you; cum from the perfection alone your body provided him, or lose himself in chasing a high that was always right on the brink of implosion when it came to you. he didn't want to disappoint, and he didn't want to give you anything less than you deserved, but you tested every limit he had ever had. "fuck."

Both of Kai's hands lock around your hips, his body swaying forward, his head bowing, his hair hanging in his eyes. He’s too still, flush against you, and you pathetically melt into him, whimpering in the back of your throat, clenching and trying to push further back into him as if that would get him any deeper. 

"Stop moving," Kai breathlessly demands. He pushes down on your hips, angling you, putting down weight with his top half to keep you from fucking back on him in the way you're attempting weakly. 

"But-" you want to fight, to push back regardless of how much bigger he is than you, to take and take and take before he even had the opportunity to give because you were so eager to feel what only he could make you feel. He knows it too, can read it in the curve of your shoulders, and so he pulls out, devastatingly gentle and without hurry, enough so that you feel every inch, and you're fluttering around him in some lame attempt at keeping him close. 

You don't have to wait long for more, for him to come back, because he slams forward with enough force to make you cry out, body jostling forward, and if not for his hold on your hips, you would have sprawled out and taken the oncoming pounding of his hips. But he twists a hand in your tank top again and fucks you just as you asked, like a stranger, one to use and discard, like someone he will never see again. 

He’s brutal with his pace, and all you can do is claw at the sheets, moans ripping from you as he hits that perfect spot over and over. It's mean, like a vicious demand to know exactly why you had kept yourself away from him, from this.

Kai knew doggy made you break in two, knew that, like this, you were so easy to let go of everything. You would beg with your face pressed to the mattress, clenching around him, crying after only a few thrusts that were this fast, this deep. The thought makes his cock twitch inside you, everything in him tightening as his thrusts turn sloppy, your failed attempts at silencing yourself only make him want to ruin you more, to hear you louder, clearer. 

"Up," he demands, hooking an arm around your stomach and hoisting you back as he sits on his heels. 

You squeal at the roughness in his hands, at the new depth he’s reaching as he sits you flush on his cock. Your body begins to tremble, curling in on itself until he wraps his fingers around your throat. He does not squeeze but guides your head back on his shoulder, his lips hot and heavy on your ear, keeping his hand as a comforting weighted necklace as he mutters, "I can't get enough of you." 

He says it like it’s a curse, something he can't seem to want to break free from, but instead returns to constantly. With his free hand, he reaches around your body, pressing the heel of his palm into your pelvis, right over where he’s nestled so deeply inside you, his fingers just grazing your clit. It’s almost enough to push you over the edge, to follow after him as he groans, the sound rumbling in his chest, along your spine, "made just for me," and he cums, voice so strained, and you're so full, so warm, made to sit and take it. 

Kai's lips are right behind your ear, his open mouth kisses mixing into his panting breaths, and you whine. You were so close, trembling and seconds away from letting him devour you whole, but like this, you're trapped, every weak attempt at grinding stopped by his strong arms keeping you in place. You reach down to claw at his wrist, to push down harder, to guide him to getting you off. But even if Kai had used you just as you had intended him to, he never forgot to take care of you. 

"Hyuka…" You only needed to whisper the name; he didn't need to decipher the deeper meaning, not when you were practically choking his cock, begging with your body when the words failed you. 

"I know, baby," he soothes, nose dragging down the side of your throat as he lets you go, careful to guide you off of him, not caring at the way his cum dribbles down your thigh. 

Neither of you cares that you have stumbled into dangerous territory, the very stretch of no-man's-land you had sworn to keep clear of, but you would let him call you whatever he pleased so long as he didn't leave so soon, so long as it was you who walked away first. And right now, you couldn't think of leaving him when he was lying you down against your pillows. 

You feel limp, and yet entirely on edge. Every graze of his fingertips along your skin makes you jerk in response, like a live wire atop water, sparking and igniting just for him. You reach out for his comfort, circling your arms around his shoulders as he lowers himself on top of you, his lips finding the edge of your mouth, kissing down the length of your jaw, your neck. He lets his hand not keeping himself up reach between the two of you, and you know instantly when he’s grabbed a hold of himself when his shoulders buckle, his whimper pressed into the hollow of your throat as he jerks his sensitive cock back to life just for you. 

This was your favorite part, the way he pushed himself farther than you had anticipated, when his groans turned to whimpers. Your fingers curled in the short hair at the base of his neck, and slowly, he pushes in, so contrasting to his brutal entrance before, but now he’s mewling so sweetly, shaking in your arms as he bottoms out once more. 

Kai lets go of himself, burying his face into your neck, arms wrapping fully around you, hips sinking until all you can do is widen your legs and take it. There was no rush, just you and him, whispering softly, gasping when he hit that sweet spot only he could find. 

You wrap your legs around his lower back, flush against each other, pulling on his hair as you feel your orgasm rolling back to you with every plea Kai starts to mumble against your pulse. "Look at me," you beg because you want to see it, the very outline of how he’s yours.

He brings his forehead to yours, noses bumping, tears building in the corners of his red-rimmed eyes, brows scrunched tight as he tries not to cum so fast again. But he can't help it, not when you feel so good, not when he can't stop the rhythmic drag of his hips against yours, not when you're looking at him like you want him more than this, not when your cunt starts to flutter around him, and you suddenly arch without warning. 

You cry out as he rolls his hips, pressing in and holding himself still as he follows after you, cumming harder than he had before, enough to make him let out a sob threaded through his whimpering. Kai is slow to stop, even when overstimulated, he lets you ride out your high, making sure you're taken care of. His cheek is wet as he leans it against your own, his tears salty on your lips as you kiss them away. And he’s just so pretty, undone and raw. 

Neither of you makes any effort to move, your fingers following invisible patterns you've left before, from his hair down his back, tracing shapes until he speaks up. 

"How long are you staying?" his voice is made of gravel, the question hanging in the air still charged with sex. 

You could lie, he would let you even when he knew the truth, you never could hide from him, even before you were anything more than just friends. But you don't want to, not just because he's here now, but because he's made it obvious that he wouldn't ask you to stay unless you made the first step, just like all those years ago when you leaned in for a kiss you knew you shouldn't have but did anyway. "The rest of the week." 

He hums, nose dragging along your cheek, as if he’s contemplating what that means, as if he hadn't already prepared an answer to any possible amount of time you laid out before him with a plan to see you again, just one more time before you left for another year, or maybe a lifetime. "you could come over to mine for dinner…stay a while?" 

You always arrived late for the holidays. It was a complaint that your mother had made for well over three years since you had moved away. "I hardly get to see you anymore," she would pout, soaking in the time you spent curled up on the couch, catching up on sleep while she let you rest your feet in her lap. 

The holidays were for rotting, growing into the couch, and conforming to its shape for as long as you could before having to be plucked up and tossed back to the monotony of work and school. Your childhood bed would wait the time between stays, still tucked in the corner, the footboard just under the window, catching the pale curtains your mother pushed back when you were away to air out the stale space. 

It was easier to throw yourself back into the nostalgic bubble for a week at a time, maybe two if you were lucky enough to have saved up sick days to cover the shifts you didn't quite ask for off when picking vacation time. When you were away at school, the only thing you missed more than your mother was her cooking and the way the house churned softly in the night, and not as loudly as your apartment did in a city you had only dreamed of keeping you awake. What you hadn’t known was that the underpass would be right outside your rented window and people would speed down honking as they tailgated or that you were a light enough sleeper to hear every swirling tire on wet asphalt. coming back to your hometown, the only sound keeping you from sleeping was the spare tumbling of the ice in the fridge if it had been left on to fill the ice box, and even that you could turn off if you cared enough to climb out of your pile of blankets and down the nightlight illuminated hallway to the kitchen. 

Coming home, just after the rush of the huge holidays and into the calmer one filled with streamers and countdowns instead of lights and repeating songs, you could afford to stretch out on the sofa for as long as you wanted without guilt. Here in the purgatory between classes and aprons, you could let your mother take care of you in the way she missed and in a way that you were leaning into because she had been right all those times about how tiring adulthood was. If only you had listened and spent more time doing exactly this: movie marathon sprees with leftover holiday cookies and candies that had been put away just for you and your arrival, your sweatpants bunched around your calves, socks slouchy around your ankles, and a sweatshirt you had forgotten you loved so much, found pushed in the back of you half emptied drawers pulled over your shoulders as you stretched out on a sofa that was far to big to ever fit in your tiny apartment if you had even wanted a similar experience. 

There was little that could disturb your peace, not when you were cresting the season finale of a show you had been waiting to watch in an uninterrupted stint of relaxation. That was until the doorbell rang, the chime cutting through the scene on screen like a momentary announcement from an intercom on an airplane. "Coming!" you call out, reaching for the remote to pause the TV, scrambling to stand and open the front door for who you assumed was your mother coming back from grocery shopping. 

You didn't even really look as you opened the door, using the handle to hold yourself steady as you slipped on your shoes to help carry in any of the bags left in the trunk of her car. You had only half toed on the sneaker turned on its side when he spoke up. "I didn't know you were back visiting,"

Everything in you freezes cold, not only from the draft the open door was letting in, but from the shock of the gravelly voice meeting you. Huening Kai had grown up down the street, on the corner house, in the bedroom right next to your best friends. It had only been a year since the last time you had seen him, no other interaction popping up besides the occasional like on a post you made. And even then, you could hardly reciprocate by liking anything back; he was private, posting little, and when he did, it was hard to forget just how much space he could take up not only in your mind but in the doorframe he stood now. 

"y-yeah," you breathed, fumbling to find anything else but an exhale at the sight of him. dressed down in a cream knit sweater, rolled up around his forearms, hooked in the crook of his elbows, veins threading up the back of his hand, flexed around a red toolbox handle. His jeans hugged his hips just right, not like they had last time, when they were just loose enough to show the band of his underwear clinging to him. But that had been almost intentional, his lean frame lazy as he leaned back against the couch in the basement of Beomgyu's house, his only drink of the night nursed in his hand moments before you had walked down the stairs in your New Year's dress, sequins catching the light from the lamp, a run in your tights right at the inside of your thigh. 

He had been the one stumbling for words then, thrown off by your presence like you were a storm he hadn’t seen on the horizon, his ship swaying back and forth enough to distort every attempt at shy conversation about the city and your impromptu homecoming. His eyes caught on the dotting of skin peaking out between the rip in your tights, enough so that you had to tilt his chin up with the knuckle of your index finger to catch his blushing apology. 

But that had been last year, when you had only once chance of seeing him again, like you had the year before, and even the year before that. It was easier to see him when you were expecting it, dressing up, dressing down, sneaking away, and kissing at the drop of the ball in the fluorescence of the kitchen while the party hummed right under your feet. even easier when he walked you home, detouring at his place where he kissed the run of your tights all the way up and under your dress, ripping into the fine mesh and devouring you like you were strangers, and not childhood friends who avoided the topic of mutual crushes that felt easier to brush off as unrequited than avoided. 

You had skipped out on the invite to any New Year's party while back home, eating grapes tucked on the couch next to your mother, who had rolled her suitcase out the front door, trying to work magic into the new year with every superstition she could get her hands on. Lea had moved away, gotten a job in a big city much like your own, and most of your childhood friends had families to spend the time with, or were in the only bar your tiny town had that didn't hold anything but people you most definitely didn't want to spend time with without your friend by your side. 

"You didn't stop by." It’s not accusatory, it's an observation, one he notes down but won't hold against you because he never does, not even when you feel like you use him, not even when you know you have. 

Your hands jump to the hem of your sweatshirt, fingers catching in a loose thread that you twirl around the tip of your finger until it hurts. It wasn't that you didn't want to see him; you always did, but it was easier when it was at the end of your stay, not at the beginning. If it was on the last day that the two of you found yourself hooking up in his bed, yours, or the back of his hand-me-down truck, you could brush it off like it was nothing, like it meant nothing when he called you baby and kissed the edge of your lips, because you would be leaving, and he would stay the same, waiting for the new year to see you all over again. "I've been catching up on sleep, had to recover after all my finals," 

And maybe you had been bracing yourself to be told one day in the middle of a casual conversation with your mother that Kai had found a girl. One he didn't have to wait for, one he didn't have to hide, one that would share his bed for longer than a few hours, recover and meld with the sheets after finals instead of one who had to wait until they were ready, polished and perfect for one night with him even when you knew he would take you exactly as you were every time. It would have been easier to hear it from her than to visit his place and have him turn you away, or worse, to walk down the stairs to find his lap occupied with anyone but you. 

Every year, you felt that day drawing near, because every time you left him and went back to your life in the city, you were reminded that, as much as he seemed to stay the same, it was selfish to think he would wait for you. And yet… "I missed you, but I'm glad you're getting rest in. I'm sure it’s hectic out there in the city." 

Your stomach flipped, heat crawling up the back of your neck, from his words, from your lack of proper presentation. It wasn't as if Kai hadn’t seen you in your pajamas before, but that had been before you could curate your image to make yourself seem like more than the same girl who had always let his words turn to butterflies once you had digested them. "Lots of noise," you nod, not knowing what to do with yourself, watching him stand there, with his freshly dyed hair making him blend in with the snow unmelted in the yard and on the rooftops of the houses with their steaming chimneys. 

"Your mom called me, asked if I could help fix the hinge on the back door, could I have a look?" and you almost want to kick yourself, because of course he’s here to help and not to just see you, he hadn’t even known you were home, let alone given you the impression that there really was no girl waiting back at his place for him to get back as soon as possible to. 

"Of course," you step aside, widening the door and kicking off the single shoe you had been trying to put on before you realized it was him. You walked ahead of him, cringing at the way you knew you must have looked, a blanket personified, a mess of oversized clothes, cookie crumbs still caught in the threads of your sweatshirt, padding across the kitchen to the backdoor in a pair of socks that you knew were getting thin right at the heel, enough so that you could feel the cold kiss of the hardwood with each step. 

"It’s been so long since I've been over," Kai mutters, head on a swivel as he takes in the kitchen, the same one he had helped you make cookies in only two new years eves ago. Your parents off on some trip, leaving you alone in the house, not having known you would make it so late to celebrate with them when they had already booked non-refundable tickets. 

There had been dough in the freezer, water in the fridge, and coffee beans sitting on the counter, the pantry empty of anything truly edible, and you had been lazy enough to not care and just order out. That was until Kai came over, hair a mess from your fingers tugging at the strands all night, his shirt on your back as you sat on the counter watching him try to roll out half-defrosted cookie dough in nothing but his boxers. flour hand prints digging into your hips, laughing into each other's mouths like it was more than just playing house for the weekend. 

Two years ago, it had been your bed, this kitchen, last year his, and this year you hadn’t even called. 

"Looks the same, doesn’t it?" and you wonder if he’s thinking back to that night too, where he stood between your legs, looking up from under his lashes at you, letting you tuck his hair behind his ears. 

"With less flour," he chuckles, twisting the lock on the back door, pulling it open until he can hear the squeaky hinge, watching the way it gets caught on the hardwood, following the scratch marks that had already been left from it being forced open so many times. The top hinge was rusted and broken, causing the door to lean far enough to dig into the floor. Kai places his toolbox from home down at his feet, pushing up his sleeves once more, drawing your attention to the corded muscle his forearms are made of, flexing moments before he reaches up to the hinge to examine more. 

You know you should probably leave him to his work, let him do whatever it was your mother wanted, curl back up on the couch, and play your show like it was nothing to have him roaming around in the space you had once pretended was his and yours. Maybe you should have taken the break in time to find new socks, or maybe clothes that you hadn’t kept on for over two days. But your mouth is dry, body moving at a glacial pace as you think about what you should say to fill in the silence, anything that will be able to hide the way your body reacts to the grunt he lets out when trying to twist the screw between his knuckles. 

It’s only when the front door opens that you can turn away from him, your mother rushing in, grocery bags stacked up her arm as she kicks off her shoes. "I'm home!" she calls out as she walks into the kitchen, a huff on her lips as she places the bags on the counter, "and late! I completely forgot about book club, hell I didn't even finish the book," she doesn't even try to take off her scarf or coat, only pausing so long to kiss your cheek. "and Huening! Thank you so much for coming over, you're a lifesaver. Every time I open the door, and it gets caught, it just ruins my day. And oh! don't tell your mom I didn't finish the book that stays between us in the kitchen," 

"I promise your secret is safe with me, and it’s no problem, anything to help," Kai bends down to rustle in his tool box, and you busy yourself with unloading the groceries, your mother pulls out her wallet, taking out a few bills and setting them on the counter. 

"for your help-"

"Oh no ma'am, it’s okay, it’s nothing-" Kai tries to wave her offer away, but your mother waves harder. 

"Oh hush, if you don't take it at least let my daughter buy you dinner for the help, but I have to go guys, don't wait up!" and shes out the front door as fast as she had arrived, her book from the coffee table tucked under her arm, the engine of her car turning over and it was only you and Kai. 

You try not to draw too much attention to yourself, even when you can feel kais eyes every once in a while as you stock the fridge and pantry. It feels revealing in a way it never really had before. It was not some set dressed up for the holidays, they had passed, and you both were still here, you weren't able to run away, turn and leave back to your apartment after a night or two, because you had already sectioned off time to spend rotting. And now your mother was pulling him into your orbit when you had already convinced yourself that he wouldn't want to see you a third year in a row. 

It didn't take him long to fix the hinge on the door, testing it out by opening and closing it a few times to make sure. You lean back against the counter, one foot on top of the other, arms crossed as if that would cover you up any more than you already were. "All done," he smiles, bending down to put away his tools, snapping the locks back into place, the sound like darts on a board, like notches on a bedpost. He doesn't pick up the toolbox when he comes back to standing.

For a moment, it’s just you two looking at each other, his eyes like fingers, brushing down the front of your frame, and you offer up the only thing you can find to bridge the conversation forward without making it obvious that you could hardly handle his presence: "Dinner?" 

He shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans, the act tugging them down just the barest hint, but enough that you know he’s caught you staring. He smirks, boyish and lighthearted, turned down on the edge of your favorite side to kiss, like he’s no better, like he knows what he does to you, and mutters, "I could eat." 

And you want to say you don't picture him last year, pushing up your dress, ripping into your tights, kissing right over the wet spot building in your panties, the ones you had picked just for him, but it would be a lie, and he’s always been able to read the truth from you even on your best days of acting. "I should probably get changed," you hike your thumb over your shoulder. He knows the way; he’s stumbled up the stairs after you before, fingertips on the back of your thigh, finding the warm spot the hem of your dress had ridden up to with each step to your bedroom. 

He can sense the invitation in your words, the same as you could sense the innuendo in his. It’s soft but there, like lashes on your cheeks when you close your eyes. He could turn you down, keep himself right where he’s standing, wait for you to come back down, but both of you know that it’s not what either of you wants. So you turn, giving him the option to do what he will, stay, or follow. 

You wonder with each creak of the stairs underfoot if he’s thinking back to every new years party the two of you snuck away from. How you had left open the invitation just the same as this one, leaving the basement first with an excuse to get ice, his eyes following you, only minutes before he was behind you, like walking in your footsteps in the snow, matching them, heel to toe. You didn't have to look back to know it had been him, didn't question if it would break you in half to be left alone, kiss-less and fragile. He'd treat you like a stranger, like you had dressed for yourself and not put effort into every little thing you wore, imagining what his hands would look like peeling away the layers, imagining what the fabric would look like pooled at your ankles on the floor of your room, or his. 

And when you hit the landing, you realized this would be the answer to whether or not you were as distant as you loved to pretend you were. 

You kept your bedroom door open, wide enough for him to know he was welcome, and as you pull off your sweatshirt, you know he’s accepted his invitation. 

Letting him watch you get undressed feels so much more intimate than letting him handle the undressing. standing in your tank top, wrinkled and softened with age, you hear the creak of the doorframe, the groan of the wood rolling out into the space as he lets himself get comfortable. Your stomach flips, and you sneak a look at him over your shoulder, "You're just going to watch?" You would let him, his heavy gaze on your shoulders, your hips, his jaw tight enough to let you know that he was holding back. 

The two of you had moved past being shy long ago, maybe it had come with age, or maybe with the realization that you wouldn't always be around, and he should take all he could get while he could. So he stepped forward, slow as you hooked your thumbs in the waistband of your sweatpants, wondering how plain you must seem to him now, like this, dressed in cotton and hazy relaxation against the backdrop of a room he had seen so many times before, only now it was half-slept in, wrinkled duvet still pushed to the wall. 

You can feel the heat of him at your back, not quite touching but enveloping you nonetheless, your chest rising and falling as you try and fail to keep yourself calm. He reaches out for you, fingers light and cold on your shoulder, ghosting over your skin, causing goosebumps to rise in their wake. His hands find yours, interlocking your fingers, pulling your linked hands right to your stomach as he finally draws you flush back into his chest. 

"I waited for you on New Year's," he mutters, lips brushing over the thin strap of your tank top, a single feather light kiss stealing away anything you could come up with as an excuse to explain yourself. "watched the stairs all night," his nose brushes along the side of your neck and you lean back into him, melting into the lullaby of his voice, "wondered how desperate I'd look if I messaged you at midnight," 

"Huening…" and even if you felt bad for saying nothing at all, not even mentioning you were in town, you couldn’t help yourself from being happy that he had waited, that he had kept you in his mind instead of as an afterthought when there was no one around to share a quick kiss with. 

"I kept thinking about you and some loser at a bar in the city," he plants soft pecks right behind your ear, your sensitivity peaking with each one, "contemplating how awkward it would be to text Lea for your address, and I mean it’s not a secret how long I've had a crush on you but it would have been a new level of hopelessness." 

"I didn't think…" but your brain starts to malfunction as he guides your hands down back to your waistband, mouth drying as he hums in question, the rumble of the sound radiating along your spine. "I didn't think that you cared enough to wait." 

Kai huffs a humorless laugh, his nose back dragging along your shoulder before he lets his forehead drop, leaning his weight on you as if you had just wounded him more than just stating the truth of your emotions. "Didn't think I cared enough to wait?" 

He pulls his hands away from you, tugging himself back up straight before turning you around to face him. Your hands instantly fall to his chest, nails scratching along the cable knit of his sweater, avoiding his eyes and the way his brows were scrunched.

"You always do that," he bumps the knuckle of his pointer finger under your chin, demanding your attention, "acting like you don't know how much I want you," he looks down at your mouth, at the way you swallow. 

You can remember that first time back home from break after you had moved away, spending the night at Lea's, blankets all over the floor of the living room, popcorn spilling onto the carpet, a movie marathon playing just loud enough for the conversation to carry over it. Kai had pushed open the front door, his laugh cutting off at the sight of you, wearing those same tiny shorts you always insisted on, the smooth expanse of your thighs on display for him as you waved at his and Beomgyu's entrance. Kai had stuttered over his words, mixing hi, hello, and sorry, like they were one word instead of three, and Beomgyu had teased him all the way back to his room. 

He remembered thinking then that you had only kissed him in the kitchen that night, well after everyone was asleep, because you had pitied him, but his opinion had only changed slightly when you had crossed paths again that same trip, where you caught up like you hadn’t just kissed him the night before. 

"But you know, I think I have you figured out…" Kai's voice drops low to a whisper as he leans in, nose bumping your own, lips catching your soft expectant exhale, "You act all shy at first, putting up little walls that only get broken down after I fuck you like a stranger one good time, usually after I've followed you up the stairs of someone's house ready to beg for one kiss," 

You hate to have been so easily read. He listed it like some checklist you both loved to follow, time and time again, but it always took that first push to finally get you over yourself, to finally get him to take the initiative. Neither of you ever really realized how much both of you wanted each other, holding back until that single excuse of a New Year's tradition was waved in your face like the checkered flag that sent you off to the races. And time and time again, all you want to do is avoid that truth, to play pretend that you two don't know each other, that it’s all just sex, because it’s so much easier to say that than admit anything else. at least until after, because you found it so easy to play house with him, to play boyfriend/girlfriend. It was why you only gave yourself one day, why you had known going to see him when you still had a week left in your vacation would only complicate things. 

Yet here you are, standing before him again, wanting to hide, wanting him to follow the same list you always did, kiss and then kill. "Are you going to do it?" his hands squeeze at your hips, thumbs pressing hard into the skin where your tank top had ridden up. 

"Beg to kiss you?" he bumps your nose with his again, lips just brushing, tantalizing like it’s own soft plea. He had begged before, and he would waste no time in begging again. 

"No," your hands slide down his sweater, fingers just catching on the buckle of his belt, before you whisper into his mouth, "fuck me like a stranger," 

You can feel the way his breathing stills, his body already so close to yours, pupils dilating moments before he catches your lips in a desperately hungry kiss you had been waiting for. It's numbing, pushing past every wall you set up around yourself, his mouth so familiar you lose any resolve you have and tug at his belt, undoing the leather and fumbling for the button at the top of his jeans. 

Kai pushes his hands into the waistband of your sweatpants, his hands cold along your back, making you moan in his mouth as he slides them along the curve of your ass, pulling you in incredibly closer to him. he squeezes your flesh, hard enough to hear you make any little noise again. Being quiet had been a part of your game for years now, but he loved to test his ability to break you, drawing out any sound he could, swallowing them down with each kiss or clasping his hand over your mouth when you couldn't stop when he had gotten you started. But you were alone now, and he ached to hear you, to add to the playlist of your whimpers that he played over and over again in his mind when you were away. 

You had just zipped down his zipper, fingertips looped in the elastic of his underwear to pull them down, when he pulled away. breathless, panting lightly, lips shining and kiss-swollen as he shook his head, "wait, if you touch me right now, it will be impossible for me not to cum," he mutters, leaning his forehead against your own, catching his breath. The statement makes your stomach erupt in butterflies; his raw honesty is thick in his throat, like honey, unashamed by the way you make him feel. He’s admitted it before, between apologies, always inadvertently edging himself when all you wanted him to do was let go, keep going. 

"You can always finish more than once," and you liked it better that way, how sensitive it made him, tears prickling so fast at the corners of his eyes, his throaty moans turning to weak whimpers. he liked to drag that part out, like he might use you all up without meaning to, even when you told him he had permission. You loved how easily moldable he was, how fast he got hard from a single kiss, or even just the thought of kissing you; now was only proof. 

"I know," and he pushes down your sweatpants, letting them pool around your ankles, "I just want to give you what you want first, before I let you ruin me," 

It makes you huff a laugh, as if both of you didn't do the same thing to each other. He steps back, pulling his sweater off by the back of his collar, his simple chain necklace pulled too far to the back of his neck. You reach out, tugging it forward, and instinctively he follows the direction until he can crash his lips to yours again. Neither of you cares how sloppy the kiss turns, not when the back of your knees hits the mattress, not when he pushes you back, breaking the kiss and sending you sprawling against the wrinkled sheets. 

You sit up on your elbows, letting him trace his eyes over you, over the way your nipples are hard enough to be seen through the incredibly thin fabric of your tank top, the straps falling down your shoulders as he looks down over the spot of arousal building in your panties. He takes a step closer, and you widen your knees for him to fit into the space before he reaches down, skimming his fingers over you, starting right under your breasts, dragging so slowly across your stomach, going farther and farther before he cups you over your clothed cunt. 

His hum is teasing, your thighs trembling at the sound, "all this for me?" and with two fingers he presses down right over your entrance, the heel of his palm pressed flat against your clit, your mouth opening in a silent gasp as you nod in response. It takes everything in you not to close your legs around his hand, to reach down and guide him under your panties, rushing to get him inside you as fast as you can. You want to, and he knows it, and maybe you're just like him, right on the edge from nothing more than a few kisses and even fewer promises. 

Dragging his fingers up and down, he soaks in the sound of your half let out whimpers, your teeth digging into your bottom lip as you start to grind your hips to meet the direction of his slow teasing. Kai found it easy to get lost in you, in the way you felt, the way you tasted. He was mesmerized now just watching the way your body jerked as he slid a single finger between the soiled fabric and your slick folds. You widened your legs more for him, anything for him to just keep going, before he pulled down your panties, dragging them off and to the floor. 

"Turn over." he said it from the depths of him, deep and dark, a command you didn't question to follow. 

You scrambled to get on your hands and knees, his hands on the small of your back, fingers splayed, eating up the space until he twists a fist into the fabric of your tank top. It’s testing, your eyes caught over your shoulder watching the way his arm flexes at the strain, his free hand sliding down your thigh, leaving goose bumps blooming along your skin, impatience twisting in your stomach. "Kai-" you can hardly get his name out before you feel his slim fingers meet your clit, circling slow. 

Your body jerks forward, but you can hardly move when he’s got you held like this, "God, I missed you," and you don't care if he’s talking about you or your body so long as he wants you as badly as you wanted him. You would let him use you, offer yourself up on a platter just like now as you pushed back into his hand, meeting the drags of his fingers through your wetness, unashamed at how blatant you were as you arched your back and whined, soft and begging in its own way. 

"Do you know how often I imagine this?" he says it so casually, like he’s not teasing your entrance, prodding his fingers in and out, listening to the sound of your shuddering breath, "every year I wait for you to come back, spend my time trying to remember just how good it feels to touch you, and when I finally get my hands on you again, like this…" his grip on your tank top tightens and he pulls you back onto his fingers, knuckle deep before he mutters, "I question exactly why I let you go when you feel this fucking good," 

"Hyuka-" and he pulls his hand from your cunt, you let out a weak whimper, pushing back to try and chase him, but he hardly lets you before he drops his hand to the back of your neck, pushing you down until your arms buckle and your cheek is flush against the mattress. 

"Don't call me that," the rustling of his jeans accompanies the gravel of his voice, "you said you wanted me to fuck you like a stranger, calling me by a nickname isn't that." The words slide down your spine like water, and you know he only says it because hearing you revert to niceties makes him soft. He will just about melt at the sound of his name on the edge of your lips, but hearing you stripped back to whimpering nicknames is like a bullet to the chest. He would be down bad and cumming under a minute. 

You try to close your mouth, attempting to stifle the sound that threatens to break free from you when you feel the tip of his cock being guided along the seam of you. mentally, you try to prepare for the stretch of him, but your body does not relax at the anticipation of having him exactly as you wanted him over and over again. And when he pushes in, he isn't slow or testing; he’s punishing. You can't help but cry out, fisting the sheets until you feel your knuckles creak, his moan deep from the pressure of you squeezing him like a vice. 

This was exactly what he had been worried about, the intense struggle of keeping himself sane, because there were only two options, two roads for him to travel when he fully bottomed himself inside you; cum from the perfection alone your body provided him, or lose himself in chasing a high that was always right on the brink of implosion when it came to you. he didn't want to disappoint, and he didn't want to give you anything less than you deserved, but you tested every limit he had ever had. "fuck."

Both of Kai's hands lock around your hips, his body swaying forward, his head bowing, his hair hanging in his eyes. He’s too still, flush against you, and you pathetically melt into him, whimpering in the back of your throat, clenching and trying to push further back into him as if that would get him any deeper. 

"Stop moving," Kai breathlessly demands. He pushes down on your hips, angling you, putting down weight with his top half to keep you from fucking back on him in the way you're attempting weakly. 

"But-" you want to fight, to push back regardless of how much bigger he is than you, to take and take and take before he even had the opportunity to give because you were so eager to feel what only he could make you feel. He knows it too, can read it in the curve of your shoulders, and so he pulls out, devastatingly gentle and without hurry, enough so that you feel every inch, and you're fluttering around him in some lame attempt at keeping him close. 

You don't have to wait long for more, for him to come back, because he slams forward with enough force to make you cry out, body jostling forward, and if not for his hold on your hips, you would have sprawled out and taken the oncoming pounding of his hips. But he twists a hand in your tank top again and fucks you just as you asked, like a stranger, one to use and discard, like someone he will never see again. 

He’s brutal with his pace, and all you can do is claw at the sheets, moans ripping from you as he hits that perfect spot over and over. It's mean, like a vicious demand to know exactly why you had kept yourself away from him, from this.

Kai knew doggy made you break in two, knew that, like this, you were so easy to let go of everything. You would beg with your face pressed to the mattress, clenching around him, crying after only a few thrusts that were this fast, this deep. The thought makes his cock twitch inside you, everything in him tightening as his thrusts turn sloppy, your failed attempts at silencing yourself only make him want to ruin you more, to hear you louder, clearer. 

"Up," he demands, hooking an arm around your stomach and hoisting you back as he sits on his heels. 

You squeal at the roughness in his hands, at the new depth he’s reaching as he sits you flush on his cock. Your body begins to tremble, curling in on itself until he wraps his fingers around your throat. He does not squeeze but guides your head back on his shoulder, his lips hot and heavy on your ear, keeping his hand as a comforting weighted necklace as he mutters, "I can't get enough of you." 

He says it like it’s a curse, something he can't seem to want to break free from, but instead returns to constantly. With his free hand, he reaches around your body, pressing the heel of his palm into your pelvis, right over where he’s nestled so deeply inside you, his fingers just grazing your clit. It’s almost enough to push you over the edge, to follow after him as he groans, the sound rumbling in his chest, along your spine, "made just for me," and he cums, voice so strained, and you're so full, so warm, made to sit and take it. 

Kai's lips are right behind your ear, his open mouth kisses mixing into his panting breaths, and you whine. You were so close, trembling and seconds away from letting him devour you whole, but like this, you're trapped, every weak attempt at grinding stopped by his strong arms keeping you in place. You reach down to claw at his wrist, to push down harder, to guide him to getting you off. But even if Kai had used you just as you had intended him to, he never forgot to take care of you. 

"Hyuka…" You only needed to whisper the name; he didn't need to decipher the deeper meaning, not when you were practically choking his cock, begging with your body when the words failed you. 

"I know, baby," he soothes, nose dragging down the side of your throat as he lets you go, careful to guide you off of him, not caring at the way his cum dribbles down your thigh. 

Neither of you cares that you have stumbled into dangerous territory, the very stretch of no-man's-land you had sworn to keep clear of, but you would let him call you whatever he pleased so long as he didn't leave so soon, so long as it was you who walked away first. And right now, you couldn't think of leaving him when he was lying you down against your pillows. 

You feel limp, and yet entirely on edge. Every graze of his fingertips along your skin makes you jerk in response, like a live wire atop water, sparking and igniting just for him. You reach out for his comfort, circling your arms around his shoulders as he lowers himself on top of you, his lips finding the edge of your mouth, kissing down the length of your jaw, your neck. He lets his hand not keeping himself up reach between the two of you, and you know instantly when he’s grabbed a hold of himself when his shoulders buckle, his whimper pressed into the hollow of your throat as he jerks his sensitive cock back to life just for you. 

This was your favorite part, the way he pushed himself farther than you had anticipated, when his groans turned to whimpers. Your fingers curled in the short hair at the base of his neck, and slowly, he pushes in, so contrasting to his brutal entrance before, but now he’s mewling so sweetly, shaking in your arms as he bottoms out once more. 

Kai lets go of himself, burying his face into your neck, arms wrapping fully around you, hips sinking until all you can do is widen your legs and take it. There was no rush, just you and him, whispering softly, gasping when he hit that sweet spot only he could find. 

You wrap your legs around his lower back, flush against each other, pulling on his hair as you feel your orgasm rolling back to you with every plea Kai starts to mumble against your pulse. "Look at me," you beg because you want to see it, the very outline of how he’s yours.

He brings his forehead to yours, noses bumping, tears building in the corners of his red-rimmed eyes, brows scrunched tight as he tries not to cum so fast again. But he can't help it, not when you feel so good, not when he can't stop the rhythmic drag of his hips against yours, not when you're looking at him like you want him more than this, not when your cunt starts to flutter around him, and you suddenly arch without warning. 

You cry out as he rolls his hips, pressing in and holding himself still as he follows after you, cumming harder than he had before, enough to make him let out a sob threaded through his whimpering. Kai is slow to stop, even when overstimulated, he lets you ride out your high, making sure you're taken care of. His cheek is wet as he leans it against your own, his tears salty on your lips as you kiss them away. And he’s just so pretty, undone and raw. 

Neither of you makes any effort to move, your fingers following invisible patterns you've left before, from his hair down his back, tracing shapes until he speaks up. 

"How long are you staying?" his voice is made of gravel, the question hanging in the air still charged with sex. 

You could lie, he would let you even when he knew the truth, you never could hide from him, even before you were anything more than just friends. But you don't want to, not just because he's here now, but because he's made it obvious that he wouldn't ask you to stay unless you made the first step, just like all those years ago when you leaned in for a kiss you knew you shouldn't have but did anyway. "The rest of the week." 

He hums, nose dragging along your cheek, as if he’s contemplating what that means, as if he hadn't already prepared an answer to any possible amount of time you laid out before him with a plan to see you again, just one more time before you left for another year, or maybe a lifetime. "you could come over to mine for dinner…stay a while?" 

kai’s cheeks turn warmer from your words or more specifically from the new title he’s earned himself recently - your boyfriend. the ring of it always calls for butterflies in his stomach, because it sounds so special when you say it. yeah, he feels good when he gets to introduce himself as your boyfriend, but it cannot compare to the satisfaction he gets when you do it, and how the whole air in the room shifts from the confidence you speak out the words with. this is my boyfriend… it’s huening kai, my boyfriend…

he looks up at your face again and lets you snap few more pictures without even trying to focus on the camera, to pose or anything like that. he’s smiling lazily, but he hasn’t stopped doing that since the moment you came over. his cheeks might start hurting soon.

you drop your cellphone next to you on the bed after capturing his tender gaze which still has sleepiness in it from the afternoon nap - it’s only making him look more charming, you notice, - his messy bangs that are peeking from his black hoodie, the soft plushie resting on his chest that’s moving up and down steadily with each calm breath he takes.

you cannot resist the tempting look of his lips for long, nor the way he looks at you as if he’s going through your mind.

kai sighs blissfully as you slowly pull away from the gentle kiss, but not too far, because his one hand goes at the back of your neck and pulls you back in. carefully, but with enough persistence which only causes the next kiss to get more intense in no time.

your tongues eventually meet, wet and warm, they glide against each other, making you moan softly just when kai allows his hand to slide down your back. he gets a hold of your hips as you push the plush toy away and unzip his hoodie in need to feel him closer. you both do all of these little things in order to get more from each other without actually having to separate your lips or bodies too much, because the idea sounds unbearable.

“kai—“ you mumble into his mouth, feeling your face, neck and back turning hot as he begins to grind you down on him… as if you’re actually fucking; with a firm grip that turns even tighter every time his lower body jumps up slightly against you for even better friction.

“mmm…” kai squeezes his eyes as this would help him comprehend better whatever you’re about to say. his brows knit together from the nice rush that keeps coming every time you press against him and glide up along his erection which is peeking vividly through his pair of sweatpants.

“this…” he finally speaks before you manage to gather your thoughts, “feels good…”

the last word shakes a little turning his voice more into a whine.

“i was about to say the same.” you reply, tracing the side of his face with your lips; kissing his sharp jawline, then even lower where the skin of his neck is warm and sensitive, sending arousing thrills through his body every time the tip of your tongue touches it.

you feel him growing harder, meanwhile kai feels himself throbbing and leaking inside his underwear. the hot wave washes all over him with each move of your hips that eventually quicken their speed.

you need him - all of him. now. and you want to break the kiss to tell him that, but you can’t seem to force any of this to stop even for a second. having sex with him was all that’s been on your mind this morning while waiting for the hours to pass so you can come over at his place. you haven’t been intimate a lot, because your relationship is still fresh and new, and it all feels so ecstatic, so exciting. every time you do it it only feels better than the last, and you wonder how it would feel now.

however, you just keep grinding on his hard erection, enjoying the delicious sounds slipping from his puffy lips that are glistening with your saliva.

huening kai feels his skin sweating underneath his clothes as the overwhelming pressure in his core starts to feel like it’s about to burst. his moans multiple so much to the point you can’t make out properly anymore. he stays with his mouth open, growing weaker from your hot breathing fanning his face, and occasionally attempts to press his lips to answer your kisses, but he fails. his whimpers elevate in the room as his hands almost take complete control of your lower half, guiding you back and forth until the ecstatic climax hits him.

the sound he makes as he spills into his underwear is the most satisfying sound you’ve ever heard in your life. you pepper his face with praising kisses while he tries to compose himself with empty mind and face contorted from an expression that makes him seem high and so unbelievably attractive.

with hazed eyes, kai follows your next movements - how you remove his stained sweatpants then afterwards his boxers. a wave of shame washes over him like a bucket of cold water at the sight of his own mess, but the emotion quickly fades away once you run your flat pink tongue along his hard cock. you successfully maintain the eye contact while gathering all of the essence that’s sticking on his swollen tip causing him to twitch. you kiss it softly a few times before getting rid of your own pants so you can move your panties to the side and welcome it inside you.

“fuck, y/n—“ kai whimpers, pressing his head back into the mattress. the squeezing, the wet arousal, the suffocating feeling of your walls… the sensation is always so strong and pleasant.

the first few seconds are always challenging because of huening’s size. you still haven’t gotten used to being with someone this big and it takes you some time to adjust. despite the fact you had sex the other day, because it’s all you want to do, the feeling of it still surprises you like it’s the very first time.

your whimpers beautifully blend with his as you begin to move up and down more freely.

“y/n—“ his hands glide along your thighs before grabbing your waist. “a-ah, keep going—“

your skin slaps against his every time you land on his lap, hitting your sweet spot with the head of his cock that feels so hard between your clenching walls.

kai shuts his eyes while biting his lip in order to contain at least some part of his desperate mewls… and he looks so handsome while doing so, your hand acts on his own when you pick up your phone to record just a few seconds of it.

“my charming boyfriend,” you coo at him, placing a palm on his cheek. “you look so hot, baby.”

kai’s mouth opens in awe as you make one really slow move with your hips, rubbing your clit against him nicely. when he blinks up at you and sees your phone again he smiles shyly. a light chuckle escapes his lips before he kisses the inside of your palm.

“you’re so good to me,” he utters almost in a whisper before making another weak noise of pleasure.

after the video caught the red hues that are painting his neck, you tilt kai’s head in your direction by grabbing his chin, and caress his lips with your thumb. they’re more red than usual, slightly swollen from the long kissing; begging to be devoured again.

“am i taking you well, baby?”

your hips keep up the nice steady pace as you drip down his cock. the camera catches your small heavy breaths while the footage of kai’s teeth grazing your two fingers continues.

“i think i am,” you mewl through a cheeky tone, “i want my handsome boyfriend to feel amazing inside me.”

you push your fingers a little bit further on his tongue and you can see on your phone screen that he likes that even more. his hands crawl up beneath your top as his lewd moans wrap around your knuckles. his heavy eyes open for a moment to look at the camera with lust and haziness before they flutter shut again.

you end the video and toss your phone away. you’ll have plenty of time to film your boyfriend. now, you want to make him cum again.

! please do not repost, copy or translate my works

Yeonjun

Amused by the idea when offered

Slowly gets hard but not quickly, he kinda likes the feeling of his soft dick in his hands

Giggly or sly smirk, eventually falters when he feels the blood rush to his cock

Your freaky ass finds yourself between the legs of your boyfriend, looking up at him sweetly yet not-so-innocently. Yeonjun smirks, a defensive mechanism he has to hide the blush forming on his cheeks, and tries to play cool. “What does my baby want?” He asks. You shrug playing with his waistband, “I want to suck it while it’s soft.” With a quirk of his eyebrow, he takes a single second to think about it. There’s no way he’ll say no to your throat.

Lifting his hips to help tug his pants and underwear down, his shaft bends towards you. Like a kid in a candy store, you lick your lips preparing to take him in. A weird sensation on both ends, but both of you could get used to it. Letting his dick fall on your lips, struggling to guide it into your mouth. The more you playfully blow him, the more the man’s moans fill the air. With small jerks of his hips, you feel his pulse against your tongue. His dick gets fatter the longer you suck down. Looking up, Yeonjun’s once amused face was now contorted, slack-jawed, engulfed by pleasure.

Soobin

Surprised but not against it

You’ll have to hit him a few times before he lets you do it iykwim

He’s so sensitive, whining/whimpering/groaning at the sensation of his soft dick in your hands

On the way to the beach, making your boyfriend drive to get the use of his new driver’s license. An hour in a road trip, you two have already talked your ears off, conversations about anything and everything. Thoughts start to slow pace as the quiet tune of the stereo relaxes you both.

You look over at your beautiful boyfriend, messy hair hanging along the frames of his glasses, an elbow on the window seal, and his hand on the wheel, while the other hand his relaxed on the bottom of the wheel. Stretching your hand out towards him, Soobin thinks you’re about to hold hands. You slap it away to get to your initial destination. Resting right on top of the soft bulge of his pants. Soobin jolts in his seat, fixing his posture. “Will you let me play with it?” You ask. “W-with what?” He stuttered causing you to smirk.

Slipping your hand into his pants, you palm his dick. A whine slips from his lips and his eyes widen to focus on the road. You continue to play with him softly, which makes Soobin learn to like the playful feeling. Until you pinch his tip, the man squirms in his seat as you both feel him getting hard. Thankfully you arrived at the beach safely but you two didn’t go into the sand right away. Not when you had to fix what you caused.

Beomgyu

He’s been waiting for this

Thinks it’s all fun and games until it’s not. Not when he gets hard so fast you’re wondering if he could ever be soft around you

We know he’s a texture guy, so I could see him touching you casually as you do the same to him

A bored and lazy day on the couch. Throughout the hours you two have been scrolling through your phones not paying attention to the TV playing in the background. A day off for Beomgyu usually meant a day of sex with you, but he decided today wasn’t going to be that type of day. Until…

He looks over to you mindlessly watching the TV, the phone sits away from you. “What’s up?” Beomgyu asks reaching for your hand, rubbing the smooth skin. “Went through my whole feed, now I’m bored.” You pout. Beomgyu continues to stroke your hand as thoughts form in his head. Without words, he takes your palm under his sweats and leaves it there.

Looking at the man stunned yet keeping your position. Beomgyu acts nonchalant, “You said you’re bored, so you can play with me,” he says putting his attention back to his phone. “Really!” You gasp with a huge smile, as if your boyfriend just gifted you a surprise present. You continue watching the TV, but focus more on the soft shaft. Massaging it with your fingers then your palm, eventually giving his balls attention too. Beomgyu shifts in his seat, and you can hear small huffs coming out of him as he tries to focus on his phone.

Taehyun

Gives you that sassy disgusted look

Doesn’t understand the appeal when you bring it up. Isn’t an erected dick nicer than a flaccid one?

But ends up liking it, feels so warm in your soft hands. Makes him feel giddy and loved.

You two have been dating for a while so there comes a question to be asked. Is it ok to get yourself off with your partner while they’re sleeping? And both of you say, free use… But here’s the catch, Taehyun always wakes up first, and especially when he has morning wood, you’re waking up mid orgasm.

When you wake up early morning, you’re surprised that you’re up before sunrise. Even more surprised that you can’t fall back to sleep. However, a thought pops into your head. Rolling on your side to face your sleeping boyfriend sprawled out on the bed. You scoot closer to his body, your hand slithers down his torso then dips into his underwear.

Wrapping around his soft member, your smile brushes against Taehyun’s shoulder. Milking and bouncing the shaft playfully, the man starts to shift in his sleep. Puffs of air slip out of his partly closed mouth. You feel his shaft twitch, rising as it gets hard in your hand. You coo watching Tyun’s eyebrows scrunched as you begin to stroke him. A squint of his eyes to you announced his awareness.

Huening Kai

No questions asked, he loves the idea

He’s a pervert ofc he’s letting you touch his dick whenever

Relishes in the feeling, so sensitive that he tries to remember the feeling of your fingers on him soft before he’s hard

Slipping into the shower with your boyfriend has become a casual thing. Steam steam-filled room with your steamy man that you seem not to want to take your hands off of. Some showers end with sleepy cuddling sessions and some showers end with a second round. This time you can’t tell where the night will take you.

Squirting body wash on your hands, you quickly rub the sweet scented soap into Kai’s skin. Your hands rub against his shoulders, chest, then down to his belly. Kai was too entranced by your soothing massage, eyes closed, unaware of where your eyes were. Your eyes were right at his dick, sitting big and pretty even soft. A smirk creeps up on your face as your soapy hands slide down to his dick.

Kai gasps, eyes darting below where your hand lathers his cock with soap. He was stunned of course but he wasn’t going to complain. Not when your hands kept slipping and sliding from the silky soap. You continue your movements, distracted by the bubbles forming and the sweet song of Kai’s moans. It was your turn to be stunned by the string of cum coming out of he’s even though he’s still soft. Looking up, you’re faced with a sheepish look on Kai’s face.

when kai asked for a movie night with you, you expected the cuddling. you expected the way he’d pull you into his lap and keep his arms wrapped around you. you even expected the occasional peck of his soft lips against your skin, but you weren’t prepared for his kisses to land on your neck instead of your cheek. it surprises you, but it’s innocent enough to ignore for a while. he doesn’t linger very long, just planting a few small kisses along your pulse point.

you’re able to calm down after a minute, adjusting to your best friend’s newfound interest in your neck. he keeps his head rested against your shoulder, the warm skin of his cheek heating you up. he’s calm and quiet every time he speaks up, making one-off comments about the movie that you only respond to sometimes. with him leaning on you like this, you can feel the vibrations from his voice rumbling against you.

you start dozing off at some point, too relaxed to bother keeping your eyes open, letting your body go lax against kai’s. the slow rhythm of his hands drawing up and down your body helps you drift off; his innocent, soft touches have always comforted you.

“you tired?” he asks, voice low. he entertains himself with the soft skin of your thigh, gently grazing his fingers against it. it sends a shiver down your spine.

“yeah,” you answer, and even you can hear the slow, sleepy lilt in your response. you feel kai’s lips pull into a small smile before he’s pecking your shoulder carefully.

“do you want me to take you to bed?”

you hum, considering his offer, but you don’t feel like moving around. the second you hit your mattress, you’ll probably lose all your drowsiness. “no, i’m comfortable,” you say.

kai giggles, “okay.” he places his hands on your waist and maneuvers you until you’re facing him instead of the television. it’s easy to move you around when you’re so relaxed, just letting him do whatever he wants. you blink at him slowly, taking in his soft features under the dim lights. he looks angelic. you think you tell him that, but you’re only half-awake and can’t really think well.

he brings his face back into your neck, nosing up the column of your throat languidly. a hand on your thigh gently urges you closer, pressing you further into him until you’re chest-to-chest. he keeps his head buried against you, and his affection nearly drowns you. in your sleepy daze, you accept his actions happily, feeling nothing but cherished by your best friend.

the moment builds up so slowly that it barely hits you when he places a hot, open-mouthed kiss to your skin, right under your jaw. the heat of his mouth feels like heaven against you, and you can’t bring yourself to push him away, too comfortable and content to deny his touches. he drags his lips a little further down, sucking lightly against your neck, taking just a small taste of you.

there’s a heat building inside you now, a growing need that you only register when it’s too late. you’re too far into the moment, too entranced by the feeling to pull away. you let him do as he pleases with your pliant body, indulging in the slow, firm drag of his hands over your sides and the glide of his warm tongue against your flesh.

he kisses all over your skin like he needs to keep you warm, humming pleasantly as he brings his mouth to your shoulder. his fingers dip ever so slightly under your shirt, resting on your bare skin, a faint tickle against your waist. his teeth just barely scrape against your skin, and a tiny mewl slips out of you before you can think about controlling yourself.

he pulls his lips off you after that, face flushing red like he’s the one who made the embarrassing noise. cool air hits the saliva trail kai left on your neck, and suddenly you’re missing the heat of his mouth. your stomach’s still twisted up in knots, all worked up from kai’s relentless attention.

“i’m sorry,” he finally says, hands slipping out from under your shirt. his touch lands on your upper thighs instead, just below your hips. you try hard to push down the arousal that pools in your gut, fearing the possibility of making a fool of yourself even more than you already have.

“it’s okay,” you reply meekly. you can’t tell if the silence that fills the room is tense because it’s awkward or because everything feels so intimate. you have to put in a conscious effort to not let your hips buck against his, still perched on his lap. it’s only now that you realize how hard kai’s gotten beneath you, a prominent tent in his pants. you ignore it for both his sake and your own.

“w-we should stop,” he stutters out, loosening the hold he has on you like he’s ready to let you go. you tighten your legs around his, not wanting him to pry you off. this is stupid, and you know you should just go to bed, but you fear what will happen when you finally let the moment fall.

“yeah…” you agree quietly, even though your actions don’t match your words. you stay right where you are, and your eyes betray you when they dart down to his lips. they’re pink and coated with his saliva, and it doesn’t help you simmer down at all. you only feel more restless. his hands find your hips, holding you still against him. it seems like neither of you are willing to pull away.

his gaze flits behind you for a moment. “the movie’s over,” he says.

you hum and nod. it’s quiet for a few seconds as you think of what to say to fill the silence. “it was pretty good,” you say, making boring, meaningless conversation. you’re not thinking about the movie at all.

“yeah, it was,” he agrees. it’s almost like you can see the restraint he’s summoning upon himself to not pounce on you.

nothing seems to dissipate the tension in the air. you’re stuck staring at each other, and it’s like you’re both waiting for the other to make a move. his hands drift a little lower, sprawling out on your thighs. his large palms engulf your flesh so easily. you gulp.

your hands ease themselves onto kai’s chest, ignoring how firm and strong he feels under you. you only put your hands there to ground yourself. you’re only doing this to keep yourself sane. that’s what you’re telling yourself, at least.

“you got anything to do tomorrow?” you ask, voice shaky as you try to keep your tone casual. his fingertips inch up your thighs to breach into your shorts, slight enough to not need to mention it.

“no,” he answers a little breathlessly. your hands trail up until they’re resting around his neck. it would be easy to pull him in for a kiss like this, but you don’t think about that.

“me either,” you say, whispering now. you feel your heart pounding in your chest. there’s a pulse in your core, too, but you promised yourself you’d ignore that. you barely feel able to breathe.

kai’s eyes fall to your lips. you take the opportunity to let your gaze fall to his own, admiring the rosy swell once again. his hands tighten against you in a way that’s barely noticeable, but since you’re so attuned to every little thing happening, you catch it easily.

you find each other’s eyes again at the same time, and mercy finds you both then—you pull into each other hungrily, lips colliding like you can’t bear another second apart. he moans into your mouth, working against you like he needs to swallow you whole. you’re just as desperate as him, hands scrunching up into the fabric of his shirt as you push your tongue into his mouth.

he doesn’t part for a second, not daring to let up on his kiss, and you let him consume you completely. your mind is spinning, and all you can think about is how incredible his mouth is. he kisses like that’s what he was put on earth to do, diving into your mouth like he needs to taste you to survive.

you whine when his palm meets your clothed center, rubbing against your cunt like he knows how hard you’ve been holding back. you grind against his hand unabashedly, possessed by the need to sink into the pleasure he gives you. your hand travels down his torso until you’re palming the bulge in his pants. you work your hand over him in the same rhythm he rubs his fingers against you, calculated and needy.

you’re panting into his mouth now, leaving it wide open for him to swirl his tongue into. your legs clamp around his hand, feeling yourself nearing your peak, and you can’t stop whimpering and moaning. you feel pathetic, you feel like some bitch in heat, but kai seems to absolutely love it.

he pulls away from your mouth to praise you, “pretty. pretty girl. fuck, i really want you.”

you’re entranced by how swollen his lips have become, looking all the more sinful, making your cunt gush pathetically. your stomach tenses up, orgasm approaching quickly, and kai bucks his hips up into your hand. he seems to be getting close too.

“kai, need to cum, please, need it,” you moan, and he doesn’t let up on his rhythm against your core. you almost feel like crying. you can taste your high as it approaches, chasing it by grinding your hips against him faster.

“yeah, let go, cum for me,” he says, sounding just as broken and pathetic as you. your climax hits you like sweet relief, leaving you crying out as kai helps you make a mess of your panties. you feels kai’s dick twitch beneath your palm as you ride out your high, and you jerk your hand over him greedily until he’s spent and spilling his load into his pants. he throws his head back with a deep moan, thrusting up against you until he’s coming back down.

you’re exhausted, sinking against him and leaning into his chest. you don’t even have the energy to talk about the line you just crossed with him. he doesn’t speak up either, only running his hand down your back as he catches his breath.

a few minutes pass, and you think he might be asleep. the rise and fall of his chest is steady, and it almost lulls you into slumber as well. you’d be perfectly content laying in his arms and resting here, but you feel too gross and sweaty to stay. you let a few peaceful minutes pass before slowly prying yourself from kai’s hold—not without his sleepy refusals to let you go—and head off to go shower.

you don’t know if you should go back to the couch with him, or if you should lay in bed and give yourselves some space. you stay in the shower longer than you need to, not wanting to make any decisions that’s going to alter the course of your friendship with kai. you groan; you should’ve thought of that before hooking up with him. you lean your head against the shower wall, shutting your eyes tight. rationality only comes to you at the worst times.

Who’s that cute boy in a white jacket and the thick accent? It was the question that played over a thousand times that night at the party. 

First, going out was nice, sure. But going out and having to deal with drunk people in tight spaces was not that nice, and it was not how you thought your last day of summer would be before going back to college, either. But Yeonjun was so excited about it and practically begged you to join him, so denying it would be nothing but pure evil (his words). 

At some point, he managed to get you out of the dorms and drag you to a stranger’s house, full of people already having (or pretending to) fun. On that note, Yeonjun was a social butterfly, always talking to people or giving them a nod with his signature smirk, and you didn’t want to stop him. He reassured you it was totally okay to hold back for the night, always making sure you were comfortable – he’s your best friend, after all –but you still declined. 

So he left for a short time while you made yourself comfortable on the couch. Occasionally, he would check up on you and even bring a drink or two and make some company. Yunjin and Chaewon even found you at some point, joining you on the couch before they practically dragged you to the middle of the living room for a dance or two…or maybe more, you had lost count after Yunjin’s famous ‘gogo juice’. 

Yeonjun chuckled from a far corner of the room until he decided it was time for you to sober up a little. He made you sit down outside on the balcony and even ordered Beomgyu to get you something to eat. The two men kept you on your feet until you got up and tried to make your way to the bathroom, bumping into people every now and then. 

It was pretty crowded, and your legs were a little wobbly, tired. Walking past everyone was not a simple task, hence why you ended up crashing into a total stranger—a hot one. Sure, you were not as sociable as Yeonjun, but you could recognize a few faces here and there. But that boy? Totally unknown to you. 

He looks like an angel, or the son of Aphrodite. Maybe this is fate, you thought. You don't see a pretty boy like him every day, so broad and with a perfectly sculptured face that actually made you mad. Even though the room was dark, with the dim light doing little to no justice to his beauty, you couldn't stop looking at him. 

Then it hit you: you were staring like a creep. Maybe even drooling a little. 

“Oh God,” you blushed, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to knock you down.” 

The boy winced, but he didn’t look mad. It was almost like he was feeling shy due to the contact; he didn’t seem drunk either. Getting up, the stranger made sure to check that you were okay, helping you back to your feet as well. 

“It’s my fault, too. Don’t worry, it’s okay.” and he left, flashing you a toothy smile before masking into the crowd again, almost in a rush. 

“Is this a fever dream?” you mumbled, making your way to the bathroom at last.

This is crazy; you bump into a boy and now you’re head over heels for a total stranger? Grow up. 

But it was hard to brush it off as a simple interaction when his voice kept scratching in the back of your head like a broken record. And his accent? Thick, heavy– in the hottest way possible. He’s most definitely not from here. And his hands? Warm, almost caring; gentle and way too soft for a man. 

“I must be going crazy.” you splashed some water on the back of your neck. Your slightly sheer top was ruffled a little due to all the dancing and…the bumping, of course. 

By the time your head peeked into the room again, Yeonjun’s eyes met yours and he let out a sigh of relief. 

“Where were you? We thought you were passed out on the bathroom floor or something.”

“I’m not like you; I can hold my liquor just fine.”

“I will pretend you didn’t just insult me, but only because I was worried.” he circled his arms around your neck, pulling you back to reality and walking back to the corner where Beomgyu and now Soobin were. “Wait.” The tall male made them stop mid-track. “Why do I feel like something happened?” 

“I-I bumped into someone, that’s all”. You frowned, almost offended by his statement, even if it wasn’t completely wrong. “You gotta trust me more, you know.”

“I trust you, I just don’t trust the drunk y/n.”

“Hey! I’m fine, I just bumped into a guy.” or more like the love of your life. “And now I can’t stop thinking about him. Or his voice. Or his hands…or everything.” Yeonjun cringed, shivering and with a disgusted face. 

“You’re spiraling again.”

“I’m totally not! Am I? Did I go too far?”

“Well,” he smirked, already catching up to your friends, “you were the one who said it was a life-changing experience.” And Beomgyu’s ears perked up. That piece of information could be useful somehow. 

“Literally never said that.” You rolled your eyes, side-eyeing the other two males. “I just said that I can’t stop thinking about this boy, who happens to be the love of my life. Like, I think it was the jacket. Maybe the hair. Who looks good in that shade of blond? ” 

This time, Soobin was the one to cringe, choking on his drink while Beomgyu laughed his face off. It was indeed crazy, yes. But it also felt different this time. 

Or maybe you just had too many shots in the past hour or so. 

“I think you’re seeing double, y/nnie.” Beomgyu pulled you down to the couch, offering you a cup of something you can’t quite describe. 

“I’m seeing double, yet you are trying to make me get drunk again.”

“Maybe she saw a ghost.” Soobin added and Yeonjun scolded him like a silent ‘I support you’. 

Somehow, that place kept getting crowded, and as more people made their way into the house, the air got thicker and hotter by the time, making you go out of breath. And the music didn’t help it either, making you cover your ears and throw your head back.

“God forbid a girl finds someone cute.” you mumbled towards Soobin. 

“I think I am pretty cute.” Beomgyu added, and everyone rolled their eyes. The action made him fake a cry and clutch his chest. “I am offended”. 

You groaned, followed by tying your hair up to cool down a little. “The three of you are impossible. I should hang out with Yunjun more; maybe she would actually help me.” 

Then, something caught your attention. Someone with blond hair stood out in the crowd. The person in question was wearing a white jacket. 

Was that the same boy? The place was not big, but definitely large enough to keep you away from each other for the rest of the night. Were you hallucinating? 

You didn’t mean to stare, but there he was again, across the room. The boy in the white jacket. His back leaned lazily against the kitchen counter, sleeves pushed up, fingers loosely holding a red cup. He looked relaxed, like he wasn’t trying to fit into the party at all. He was talking to Taehyun, too close to each other, almost like soulmates or something like that.

“Junie…” you gasped, tugging at Yeonjun’s shirt for support as you tried to get up. Your legs almost gave out, which made both Beomgyu and Yeonjun hold you in place. 

“Girl, are you ok?” one of them asked, but you couldn’t quite tell their voices apart.

“I might have double vision for real, but that is irrelevant right now.” You looked around, checking to make sure that the boy was still there. Lucky you; Taehyun and his friend apparently had a lot to catch up on.

Soobin was quiet, as expected. What you didn’t realize is that he was facing the same direction as you, scanning the tall figure.

“Is that him? You’re looking at that boy almost like he’s a full-course meal.” Beomgyu had noticed too, and you tried to ignore his teasing, but it was hard when he kept trying to get Tyun’s attention at all costs. 

“Wait…why is he kinda…hot?” Soobin added, following your gaze. 

Your eyes were practically burning holes into his head; that’s how hard you all were looking. He was laughing at something Taehyun said, head thrown back, the light catching the edge of his jaw. It was unfair, really, how good he looked doing absolutely nothing.

Finally, Yeonjun acknowledged the person you were all drooling over. He grinned just like a little kid on a Christmas morning. 

“That’s him? The love of your life?” he giggled and you nodded. “That’s Huening Kai.”

Huening Kai. Was that his name? It rolls off pretty smoothly.

“Excuse me, enlighten me for a second. You know him?” Your eyes widened, the fact hitting you like a soft blow. 

“Not really. I know he’s Taehyun’s best friend and that he’s a transfer student. Never got the chance to get to know him, though. I mean, not until now. Y/n, go talk to him.”

You whipped your head toward him. “The hell you mean ‘talk’ to him? Have you met me?”

“We all have.” Soobin added with a playful sigh of distress. 

Before you could even come up with a snarky response, Yeonjun nudged Beomgyu—who, of course, took that as a cue to act.

“Taeahyunnie!” he called out like a madman. 

You regretted leaving the house. You regretted being friends with those three doofus. Murder Beomgyu sounded like a great plan; too much of a good one, to be fair. 

Your heart stopped when you noticed Taehyun and Huenning Kai walking in your friends direction. You tried to get away, run, anything. But it was too late; they were getting closer. 

It was almost like you had forgotten how to breathe. This is so stupid; everyone is stupid and you are trapped inside a horror movie. Might as well disappear, right? Your mouth ran dry, still in shock. Or were you just being foolish and it was not that big of a deal? 

‘I’m gonna beat your ass once we get home.” You pinched Beomgyu’s waist hard enough to make him yelp, but of course, he brushed it off with a menacing look. 

“You don’t have to talk, just be yourself.” Yeonjun meddled. “You are great and very gorgeous and super smart. Don’t overreact.” How could you not overreact when a real-life sculpture was making its way towards you? 

Too late to run; they were in front of you. Taehyun sent you a gentle smile with a small wave; relaxed, friendly. It was a big friend group, almost like everyone had known each other from past lives. But that boy Huening, his eyes held something else. He was looking at you, curious eyes meeting yours, almost like he was trying to read you. 

“So,” Taehyun pointed at each one of you “you already know them, right? From the picture you saw?” and Kai nodded, almost too enthusiastically. “Great! This is y/n, then.”

“So we meet again.” he said, voice dripping like honey. So what if it was muffled by the music blasting? It was still a nice voice, warm and welcoming like a soft blanket. He held out his hand properly this time, not like a prince, but like someone who’d rather not shout over music. “Nice to meet you. I’m Kai.” And just like that, the party felt too small, too loud, and too bright all at once.

“So I’ve heard.” you admitted, cheeks warming up due to his touch. “Sorry for crashing on you earlier.” but again he brushed it off like it was not a big deal. His toothy grin, now on display, made your heart flutter, a typical cliché. 

“I already told you it’s okay.” and winked. Winked? Did he just—?

Beomgyu’s elbow found your ribs before you could even process the action. You wanted to hit him back, but of course, you had to behave; Kai’s eyes were on you. Not in a predatory way; his gaze was soft, it was like he was reading a book or memorizing your features. 

“Ahem…” Soobin coughed loudly, hiding a smug grin behind the rim of his cup. It was like watching a live K-drama, sickening. 

“So, Huening…” It was Yeonjun’s turn to act. You thought he was going to break the ice and make things less awkward; he was the eldest after all, he should be the mature one. But no, instead, he decided to be a menace. All of them were. “What do you think of our Y/nnie?” 

That made your heart stop beating. You choked on your drink, clutching Beomgyu’s shirt. 

“Why don’t you shut up?” you hissed, gasping for a little bit of air. 

A hearty laugh bubbled from Kai’s chest, unbothered by the situation he was in. Or was he? Even though the living room was dark, the dim lights reflected on his face, blushing. Or was it just the alcohol? 

“Well, I think she is pretty…” he did a double take “...expressive”. 

“Expressive.” Soobin clicked his tongue and chuckled, “That’s how we're calling it now? Sounds good to me; welcome to the friend group, Kai!”

Great. Now everyone is laughing. You wished the ground would open up and swallow you whole; Beomgyu was running out of air, Yeonjun looked like he had just witnessed the best scene of his life, and Soobin was muttering something, clearly amused.

Kang Taehyun, read the room! You thought. 

He looked at you, almost like he had read your mind and instantly you looked at him, shooting daggers with your eyes. 

“Okay!” he patted Kai’s back. “Looks like Y/n is about to combust, and we all had a long night, right? I think we should all head home.”

You were not drunk, at least not like earlier. You had come to your senses, it was pretty obvious. But when Taehyun decided to call it a night, you didn’t even argue. Going home could be a good idea; your brain was a little foggy, processing the whole night. Was it because of Kai? Or maybe the few drinks? 

You needed air. Real, fresh air. 

“Sure.” Yeonjun nodded. “Let’s go home.”

Everyone bid their goodbyes, going opposite ways. By the time you reached the front door, you could still feel Kai’s gaze following you, or maybe you were imagining it. Maybe you wanted him to be looking. God, you were hopeless.

Outside, the night was warm; too warm. It’s going to rain. Beomgyu and Soobin had left already, leaving both you and Yeonjun on the sidewalk waiting for the taxi. He hummed something under his breath, liquor finally kicking in. 

Neither of them spoke for a while, letting things sink in. It was silent, but not awkward; more like comforting. 

“So…” his voice was dragged.

“I won’t go out with you ever again. In fact, I don’t think I’ll ever leave the house.”

“It was not that bad. If it were, we can always blame it on Yunjin’s special juice.”

“Honey, I was definitely not the problem. You four– sorry, three were, Taehyun is the only well-behaved in this group.”

Yeonjun only giggled, his little laugh filling the quiet street. It was infuriating — but the good kind. The kind that made your chest feel light, your cheeks ache from smiling even when you didn’t want to. They were idiots, but they were your idiots.

Yeonjun dropped you off at your apartment and made his own way home. As you stepped into the hall, your shoulders lumped and a long sigh erupted from your throat. You kicked off your shoes the second you got in, the silence of your apartment almost deafening after the noise of the party. Things went back to normal, or almost. 

The atmosphere was comforting; it was good to be back home, grounding yourself and letting the world stop spinning. Or more like your body, because your mind was still running a hundred miles per hour. 

You leaned your back against the door, pressing your palms to your face. “What the hell was that?” you mumbled to yourself. Because seriously — what was that?

You reluctantly decided to leave the house, only to later get drunk, bump into a cute guy and fall in love only because of his smile and his voice. Who does that? 

This would be the event of the week. The month, even. Maybe Yeonjun was right, you were spiraling. On the other hand, who wouldn’t immediately fall in love with such a pretty boy like him? His gentle gaze did de trick apparently, because the way he looked at you still burned in the back of your mind. 

“I ned to touch some grass, yuck.” you groaned, leaning your head on the wood.

After showering and getting more comfortable, you plopped down on the bed, your body making its way under the sheets; still half thinking, half hoping that the universe would stop mocking you. 

You were sleepy, so the logical thing to do was…sleep. Even though your eyelids were getting heavier by the second, your brain couldn’t shut down.

“Stupid brain, stupid smile, stupid voice, stupid face. Get out of my head!” you whined, rolling onto your stomach, pressing your face into the pillow like you could somehow suffocate the memory out of existence.

It didn’t work. You had tried everything, even lying on the opposite side of the bed. It was definitely a lucky day. 

Since you were not going to get any sleep any time soon, might as well distract yourself with something else. 

The TV was on, the random sitcom playing was being used as background noise and hopefully that would make you get some rest. Or maybe not. 

Your phone buzzed on the nightstand, earning a groan from you due to the sudden inconvenience. One time was ok, two times was a coincidence, but over that? It was bothering. 

You unlocked your phone only to be surprised by Taehyun’s texts. What was he up to?

Terry the clever: Y/n Terry the clever: y/nnie are you awake  Terry the clever: did you get home safe? is yeonjun safe?  Terry the clever:  just wanted to check in  Terry the clever: and let you know that someone can't stop talking about you  Terry the clever: I don’t like gossip you know that, but kai can't shut up

You: hello kang taeehyun You: this is nonsense terry  You: go to sleep, I think both of us are pretty tired

Terry the clever: so you don’t wanna know about kai?

You: girl i am so seated tell me everything 

Terry the clever: good to know you are not biased  Terry the clever: but to be honest he just  thinks he made you uncomfortable earlier and wanted to say sorry  Terry the clever: I gave him your ig, hope you don’t mind

You: now why would you do that

Terry the clever: girl  I’m trying to make you two connect, take a hint 

You: I suppose that's sweet

Terry the clever: great, so go talk to him Terry the clever: gn y/nnie <3

“Wow, so glad Taehyun is just as normal as those other three.”

Still, you opened your Instagram hoping to see his name pop up, but no message was there. And you don’t even realize that you’ve been refreshing your feed like crazy just waiting to see his name. Are you that desperate? You try to pretend you don’t really care about it, but you also can’t ignore the little voice inside your head saying ‘so pick me, choose me, love me’. Pathetic. 

Then you see it.

@/hueningkai followed you

He even liked one of your posts.

“Oh God.” you whispered, your heart doing cartwheels. You stared at his profile picture for way too long before realizing your thumb had been hovering over the ‘follow back’ button for a full minute.

You hit it. Then lock your phone immediately, like it’s going to explode.

You twirled your hair and giggled. What are you? Twelve?

And you tried to pretend you were not waiting for a text, really, but you couldn’t help but peek every two seconds just to make sure he had DMd you.  

Little did you know that Huening Kai was head over heels just as much as you. His thumb hovered over your picture, trying so hard to come up with some lame excuse just to talk to you. Wait, that’s exactly what he did. Who follows a pretty girl just to say I’m sorry? 

“She’s going to think I’m an idiot.” he chuckled. 

Maybe moving into a new country was a good thing, yeah. Allowing himself to try new things. 

“This is a fever dream.” you were about to give up and try to get some sleep when your phone buzzed again. You could swear there were cartwheels in your stomach when you saw his name light up your screen. 

You opened the app so fast that it was not even funny anymore, like your life depended on it. 

hueningkai: hey :) hueningkai: sorry if I made things weird earlier 

You clicked on his message and frowned. Why should he apologize when you are the one acting like a scheming criminal? 

And Kai was freeaking out, too. Why weren’t you replying? Did he really act like a jerk? It was not until a bubble popped up in the chat that he calmed down, breathy sigh leaving his lips. You typed, erased, and typed again.

You: why are you saying sorry? I was the one not paying attention  You: hi, btw :)

hueningkai: oh no not because of that hueningkai: I said you were pretty expressive, maybe that came out the wrong way so I wanted to apologize 

That’s sweet. 

You: you dont have to worry heh  You: I couldn’t really pay attention, but if it makes you feel better we can call it even

hueningkai: great! huening: also, taehyun mentioned something about you being an IR student? 

You: yes I am :)

hueningkai: this is so cool, maybe I’ll see you around hueningkai: I major in journalism, I think we will share a few classes

Huening Kai was easy to talk to. He was sweet and very funny, so it was no surprise that you two stayed up until unholy hours that night. Bumping into him could be fate, like the stars had aligned just for you. Or were you being too desperate for some affection? 

You couldn’t stop smiling even after he wished you a good night. And the night grew quieter, but not your brain; the next thing you know is that you are stalking his profile. 

There was not a lot to see; maybe he was a low profile. But God the few pictures of him were worth it, you were scrolling down all over again, out of breath and manifesting that he was uponeth you or picking you up and–

“No, don’t do this.” you mumbled “Stop being a horny freak.” 

You really meant to stop, but he was so strong, with big hands; he could lift a car with only one hand and, oh, the birds started singing. 

You took Yeonjun out for brunch later that day, same place you two would hang out after class every day. It was comforting, like home; it smelled like toasted coffee beans and a tiny bit of caramel. He looked at you with horror, like you were a zombie. 

“Are we not going to address the elephant in the room?” he coughed. 

“Why are you acting like I’m some kind of a monster?”

He smirked. You were too easy to read. “Someone kept you up all night.”

You froze, halfway through drinking your coffee. “I kept myself up all night, stop imagining things.” you groaned, trying to cover your rosy cheeks. 

“Right, right. And the fact that you’re checking your phone every thirty seconds is totally unrelated.”

He’s right, you couldn’t even be offended. You were checking your phone like crazy, expecting to see his picture light up the screen, but still nothing. 

“Look,” there was no reason to keep secrets from your best friend “Kai and I stayed up all night talking.” Yeonjun grinned, nearly insane, just like the Cheshire Cat. 

“Just talking?”

“Yes, Choi Yeonjun, just talking…” You tried to hide your face behind the menu. “Okay, maybe I stalked him and did a little– doesn’t matter.” Your cheeks were burning. Were you being too pretentious? 

Telling Yeonjun about your feelings sounded childish; why was your heart tripping inside your chest every time you thought of Kai’s smile? Or why was your stomach churning just by remembering what you did last night? Was it a sin? 

“You’re doing it again.” he brought you back to earth. “Don’t overthink, just allow yourself to have some fun. If it works, great! But if it doesn’t, you learned something new.”

And when your phone buzzed again — the little screen lighting up with a new message from Kai — Yeonjun caught the way your face changed, that spark of nervous excitement you couldn’t hide if you tried.

He didn’t say anything this time. He just smirked, leaned back, and let you open it.

Yeonjun was wise; being the oldest in the friend group had its perks. And you did exactly as he told you, had fun. 

Turns out that Kai was really easy to talk to in real life, too. Always soft spoken, not just with you, but with everyone. 

Everything is just so simple when you’re with him, the whole atmosphere feels lighter. Nothing extraordinary was going on. Yeah, you two hung out almost every day for the past few weeks, but that doesn’t mean anything. Maybe he didn’t see you the same way, and it’s fine, he was a great company and a great friend above all. 

But when he mentions how he still doesn’t know many people yet, you find yourself saying, “Well, now you do.” And the way his smile widens — that quiet, grateful kind of smile — makes you realize you might be in trouble all over again.

“Are you free…next month? On the 13th?” he asked mid one of those days. It felt different, though; you could sense it. Although you couldn’t really see, heat was creeping up from his chest to the back of his neck and his cheek.

“Is that even a question? You know I am.”

“Great, because I want to take you out on a date. A real one; I’m tired of going to cafés every week…Wait, that came out wrong. I love hanging out with you, but I wish we could-” you kissed his cheek, a simple gesture that could either make him combust or calm down, you’re not sure. 

Huening Kai blinked a few times, processing the kiss on his cheek like his entire system had just short-circuited. His lips parted, but no words came out. For someone who was usually so composed, it was almost funny watching him struggle to reboot.

You smiled at him, teasing. “Did I break you?”

“A little. I was not expecting it.” He laughed softly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Well, you’re overthinking, and that’s my job.” you said pulling back. “And for the record, I’d love to go on a date with you. But why specifically next month?”

For a moment, silence filled the air between you — not uncomfortable, but the kind that felt electric. He looked at you the way he did that first night, like he was still trying to memorize you.

“I have to go back to Korea. Nothing serious, I just need to fix a few things.”

Why were you suddenly so upset? And why is your heart aching and beating super fast?

You blinked once. Twice.

He had said it so casually, like it was nothing. Of course, you weren’t a thing, but it would’ve been nice to hear about it previously. 

Are you scared? 

“So why invite me on a date so early?” Kai shifted, his hand nervously tracing the edge of his cup. He glanced up, eyes searching yours. “I didn’t want to just disappear without a proper reason.” he bit the insides of his cheek and closed his eyes. “I really like you, and I want to see where we could go with this.”

And what were you supposed to do with this information? Warmth spread into your chest, excited with something new blooming, but also a little scared. It shouldn’t have meant much, but once again his voice was doing the deal; smooth, caring, sincere. 

“God, you’re so–.” you stopped, shaking your head with a laugh, and his lips curved upwards, giving him a boyish look. “Fine, I’ll be waiting for it.”

It was pure torture waiting for Kai. Classes were back, and it was fun sticking around your friends for the whole day, but something was missing. Him. But that was just your point of view.  

The day he actually came back you almost threw up. Not because he had returned, but because you made a promise to go out on a date. A real one. Someone expressing their feelings so openly with no shame was new, but you could get used to it. Could get used to some sweet-talking if it were him. 

Just like one particular night when he decided to call you in the middle of the night– or day, since he was in a different timezone– talking oh so, so sweet that you could explode. A prophecy must be fulfilled. You guys had some kind of bed chem, you were sure of that.

You were expecting a call, or even a text announcing his arrival, but nothing. Until the doorbell rang.

No one was visiting you, so who– wait. Kai.

You checked the peephole, your chest nearly bursting out of your ribcage. You practically sprinted to the door, flinging it open.

And there he was. Huening Kai was standing on your doorstep like it was nothing. He was clearly tired, jetlagged, but still dropped by just to see you shortly before your date.

“Hi…” he smiled, just like the day you met each other. 

“What– why– Hi.” you let out a dreamy sigh. “You are here.”

“I am. I just–” something ruffled behind him “just wanted to give you this. Before our date? We are still going out, right?” seeing a big man like him holding a tiny bouquet and shaking was definitely a sight for sore eyes. 

“I waited a whole month to go out with you. What are you talking about?” you smirked, leaning in to peck his cheek, the tiny contact sending a jolt straight through his body. “And thanks for the flowers. They are beautiful.”

“Just like you.” That’s so cheesy, why would you even say that, he thought. “Ahem…I just wanted to see you. What time should I pick you up?”

“Seven works for me.”

So he did pick you up at seven. In fact, he parked outside your apartment fifteen minutes earlier. 

Dinner went out well, better than you expected. 

The restaurant was cozy, dimly lit, the air filled with soft music and the smell of something sweet baking in the kitchen. Kai looked like a wreck, but so did you, and that was the funny part of the night. Conversation flowed from what you thought of him when you first met to college and your majors. Pretty simple. 

On the way home some random music was doing its job as background noise while you kept talking. He even opened up about his country and how moving out was not a simple decision, but he was still happy with everything. And of course, you made sure he knew how sexy his accent was. 

He listened to you yap, laughing with every word that came out of your mouth, and even stole a few glances when you were not looking. To him, you were perfect, kind. 

When he parked in front of your apartment, just like he did earlier, you wanted to jump on that man and never let go. Crazy, huh? 

“So…” he broke the silence.

“Thank you for dinner, I had a really great time.”

Heat pooled in your stomach, your heart hammering. You could feel the electricity in the small space between you, charged and tense. Kai leaned slightly closer on the driver's seat and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. 

“Do you want to come inside?” you blurted out, breath fanning over his face. 

“W-what?”

“House tour? You couldn’t see it earlier.”

Ah, so that’s what you meant.

He nodded, already unbuckling his seatbelt and making his way to open the door for you, just like a true gentleman.

You fumbled with your keys, trying to unlock the door while your hands trembled just slightly — maybe from the cold night air, maybe from the fact that Huening Kai was standing right behind you (close enough that you could feel his warmth through your clothes), or maybe because you knew what was going to happen. You both did. 

“Take your shoes off.” you forced a sweet smile as the door clicked open. 

He hesitated for a second, his lips quirking up in that familiar, shy smile before he crossed the threshold. His eyes wandered around, taking everything in. It was so you.

“Suits you.” you frowned, but he continued “Feels like home, it’s warm and comfortable.”

Your breath hitched for a second, and you quickly turned away, pretending to fuss with the flowers he’d brought you earlier. “You’re such a smooth talker.”

“Or maybe I am telling the truth.” he got closer to you, arms brushing yours until you were caged between them. “You look really beautiful.”

If your heart wasn’t already racing, it was now practically sprinting. “You’re dangerous,” you whispered, half to yourself.

He laughed under his breath. “Dangerous? Me?”

“Why do you keep acting like this? You know it affects me.” you groaned.

“I guess we are even, then.” And just like that, the air thickened. You could hear the faint hum of the refrigerator, the city outside, and the sound of his breathing.

You didn’t even realize how close he’d gotten until your knees brushed. And yet, he didn’t move further. His gaze searched your face — careful, patient — as if silently asking for permission.

Before both of you realized what was going on, your fingers brushed against his face, tracing his features like you were trying to memorize him.

You closed the space between you in a matter of seconds, not even allowing him to think and letting all that pent up tension from the party go away. 

His hands found your waist, steadying you. The warmth of his touch made your knees weak. You smiled against his lips, and he chuckled, pulling you closer.

When you finally pulled away, your foreheads stayed pressed together, both of you catching your breath.

“So,” he whispered, “still think I’m dangerous?”

“Absolutely,” you said, smiling. “But maybe that’s what I like about you.”

He laughed again, low and sincere. “Good. Because I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

“Honey, I am not done with you yet.” You looked up at him — messy blond hair, sleepy eyes, the faintest blush on his cheeks — and for a moment, the world felt still while you dragged him to your bedroom.

KEEHO: dom!keeho, overstimulation & body worship keeho is all about praise, possession, and overstimulation. a mix of soft obsession and dominant energy that completely takes you over. he thrives on watching you fall apart, trembling under his touch while he whispers encouragement into your skin. his hands never stop. rubbing circles into your hips, squeezing your thighs while he eats you out like he’s starving. “you’re so fucking perfect, baby. look at you.” he’ll say it like a prayer, over and over again. and once you cum? he doesn’t stop. he kisses you through it, fingers still inside, tongue back on your clit while you cry and squirm in his grip. he also worships your body like it’s sacred. stretch marks, softness, skin. nothing gets ignored. he’ll pin you down just to mouth at your belly or bite into your inner thighs, humming as he marks you everywhere but where you want him most. “i could live between your legs,” he’ll murmur, tongue dragging up your slit. and when he’s inside you? he’s slow, deep, and deliberate. keeping eye contact, letting you feel every inch. keeho wants to make sure you know how good you make him feel. his aftercare is next level too: full of giggles, soft teasing, snacks, water, and long back rubs that lull you into sleep.

THEO: soft dom & breeding kink theo is the gentle dom that makes you feel so small in his hands. big, warm, slow with his touch but filthy with his mouth. he’ll press you into the mattress and say “relax, i’ve got you,” right before sliding inside, groaning from how tight you are. he’s all about slow, heavy strokes. deep enough to make you shake, slow enough to draw it out. and he loves kissing while he fucks. hands tangled in your hair, lips brushing yours while he moans “so good, so tight, you feel so good, baby.” he’s not aggressive, but he’s so focused it feels intense. his breeding kink is strong. he’s not loud about it, but the possessiveness bleeds into every word. he finishes deep, every time. hands on your hips, body flushed to yours, holding you down while he groans “take it. just like that. let me fill you up.” and when he sees it leaking out? he pushes it back in with his fingers, gently. slowly. whispering “don’t waste a drop, baby.” he’s obsessed with the image of you completely full. even if it’s just the fantasy, the effect is the same. theo wants to leave you ruined, wrecked, and full of him for hours.

JIUNG: switch!jiung, mirror play & messy oral jiung loves giving. and receiving, pleasure in every way. he’s a switch to the core, equally addicted to topping you and watching you ride him until he’s losing his mind. he’ll suck on your fingers just to make you flinch, press kisses down your stomach before dragging his tongue across your folds, completely focused. he loves watching you in the mirror. sitting behind you with his arms around your waist while he grinds up into you slowly. “look at you,” he whispers. “you’re so sexy like this. you see how good i make you feel?” oral is his favorite kind of foreplay. both giving and receiving. he loves it messy, with spit and moans and slippery fingers between your thighs. he’ll have you cumming on his tongue with tears down your cheeks and still beg for more. “again, baby. i’m not done yet.” and when you get on your knees? he melts. whines. tangles his hands in your hair and rocks his hips while whispering “you’re so good at that. don’t stop. please.” whether he’s the one fucking you against the mirror or whining under your mouth. jiung lives for shared control, messy pleasure, and the kind of sex that leaves you both breathless.

INTAK: jealousy kink & teasing dom intak is flirty, cocky, dangerously competitive. and all of that turns up tenfold when he’s in bed. he’s got a jealousy kink that comes out hot. not mean, but needy. you laugh at another guy’s joke and his hand slides up your thigh, lips against your ear like “is he making you wet right now? or is it still me?” when he’s jealous, he fucks you harder. rougher. he pins your wrists, marks your chest, keeps his name on your tongue until you can’t say anything but his name. he wants to prove he’s the best, and he does. over and over. he’s a teasing dom, too. obsessed with edging, denial, and making you earn it. his favorite move is pulling you into his lap, grinding you over his thigh until you’re crying. “what’s wrong? thought you wanted it,” he’ll coo, fingers brushing between your folds. and when you beg? he’ll still drag it out. his smirk is infuriating, and he knows exactly how hot it makes you. and when he finally gives in? it’s like flipping a switch. fast, needy, possessive, breathless moans and low praises like “mine. say it.” because under all that cocky energy is someone desperate to be your only one.

SOUL: degradation kink & rough dom soul is so quiet off-stage. but in bed, he turns. degradation is his favorite game: he’ll whisper the filthiest things while pounding into you from behind, breath warm against your ear. “look at you. all fucked out and still begging? pathetic.” he says it like he means it. like it hurts how much he wants you. and when you cry? it only makes him go harder. he likes it messy, rough, fast. hands bruising your hips, cock buried deep, one hand pressing against your lower back to keep you right where he wants you. he’s a rough dom, but he always checks in. the way he handles you is intense. he’ll hold you down, choke you, slap your ass until it stings. but it’s controlled. he’s focused, precise, and totally tuned into your reactions. “you can take it,” he murmurs, slowing just a little when you whimper, only to pick up the pace when you beg. and after? he doesn’t say much. but he pulls you close, lays kisses on your neck, and wraps his hoodie around your shoulders while rubbing your back in silence. it's comfort after chaos. exactly what you need.

JONGSEOB: possessive switch & orgasm control jongseob is young, but cocky. confident in a way that’s almost dangerous. his favorite thing is orgasm control. he gets hard watching you squirm, watching you beg, watching your thighs shake while he pulls his fingers away right before you cum. “not yet,” he says, voice low, dragging his tongue slowly up your slit. he’ll edge you again and again until you’re crying, then finally give in. just to ruin you more. and when you try to rush it? he grips your hips and growls “you cum when i say.” he’s a possessive switch. dominant when he needs to be, but loves being topped by someone who earns it. if you ride him with control, if you tease him and say “don’t cum yet,” he’ll listen, just barely. and then flip you over the second he gets the chance. he leaves marks on your thighs, scratches on your hips, kisses on your neck like a brand. jongseob doesn’t just want your body. he wants your willpower. and once it breaks? he fucks you until your voice is gone, then holds you while you sleep, whispering “no one else gets you like i do.”

strict dom!lara... has you suck her strap while she works at her desk, making you gag occasionally

strict dom!lara... who loves using paddles to spank you.

you'd let out a sharp yelp as the leather paddle stung your ass, making your cheeks a blossoming shade of scarlet. "i-i'm sorry!" you'd cry out, tears ruining the mascara you'd carefully applied before coming over. "keep counting, or i start over." she'd remind, raising the paddle once again.

strict dom!lara... teaches you all sorts of new things; slowly ruining your innocent mind and turning you into her personal sex toy.

strict dom!lara... handcuffs you to her bed frame.

"poor thing..." she'd frown, faux sympathy making your face heat up with embarrassment. you'd wiggle your hips, attempting to get away from the vibrator she'd place right between your legs. she'd slap your thigh, giving you a stern look-- "do i need to tie your legs down too?" you'd shake your head, "no!"" your eyes would be glossy as your chest rises up and down rapidly due to being close to an orgasm. "i-i'll be good!"

strict dom!lara... loves denying you release.

"i don't think you've earned it, angel." she'd explain softly as she pulls the vibrator away from your puffy clit, swiping her finger around your wetness. "maybe i'll make you wait all week."

strict dom!lara... tells you your a good girl as she pushes her strap inside

strict dom!lara... loves seeing you ruined <3

“i think i’m a little sick,” he mumbles with a sniffle, finally looking up at you. his nose is red, his eyes are watery, and his face is flushed and sweaty. and now that he said something, his voice did have a nasally tone to it. “probably got it from work or something…”

you hum, slowly walking up to him again and raising your hand to press it against his forehead, he was burning. he doesn’t shy away and embraces the touch, sighing and closing his eyes as he presses his hot skin against your cold hand.

“is there anything i can do to help, want some tea?” you ask, dropping your hand to caress the side of his face and rubbing your thumb against his pink cheek. he timidly nods his head and smiles.

“’mkay, well you lie back down and i’ll make that for you.” you pat his face gently and press a small kiss to his forehead before sending him off. he hums before making his way to bed, coughing as he walks down the hall.

you remove the little makeup you had on your face before making the tea, deciding on staying home with kai instead of leaving him alone. once the hot drink is made, you walk into the bedroom and see kai sitting on the bed with his back against the headboard, legs crossed.

his head was tilted back and he turns to look at you when you walk in, perking up at the promise of something to soothe his sore throat. he takes the mug into his hands as you murmur a, “careful, hot.” before taking a sip with a moan.

“that’s good,” he breaths, taking another sip. you smile, plopping in front of him on the bed and running your fingers through his hair. “i still don’t know how i got sick, i think it might be a cold.”

“could be but it doesn’t matter,” you shrug, leaning in and kissing him on the cheek. thinking back, it should have been obvious that he wasn’t feeling well. he kept complaining that is was freezing, despite the ac being off and he slept the whole day away. how could you have missed it? “i’ll take care of you.”

“i appreciate it.” he smiles, but it quickly drops when you reach behind you and present the cough syrup that you also brought from the kitchen. kai’s least favorite thing to consume.

“wait-“ he says as you crack it open and pour some of the syrup into the cap, his eyes of pure disgust watching as you fill it to the top. “can’t i take medicine later, you know … much later?” he tries to negotiate.

“too late,” you quip and shove the cap at him. he takes it with a sideways glance when you give him a stern look, bringing it to his lips and pausing and shaking his head rapidly.

“but it tastes so bad,” he complains with a pout, his whiny and congested voice so adorable to you. he looks at you pleadingly, sniffling as he does which makes you laugh.

“but it’ll help,” you rebutted while nudging the cap and kai just huffs knowing that he won’t win this argument. “come on, for me~” you coo, sliding a hand up and down the skin of his thigh.

kai bristles before he plugs his nose, shakily bringing the liquid to his lips and downing it in one go. his eyes scrunch up in disgusts and he shivers when he gets a hint of the aftertaste. grape. he smacks his lips before hurriedly drinking some tea to wash down and replace the horrid flavor.

“good job,” you praise him, taking the empty cups and placing them on the beside. you don’t miss the way hueningkai blushes and drops his gaze down to his lap.

you take ahold of his chin and lift his head back up, hueningkai looks at you with big, watery eyes. you peer at his lips that were wet with tea and lean in to kiss him, just to get a taste.

“hey i-“ hueningkai starts, leaning back and flushing in embarrassment when you raise an eyebrow at him. “i don’t think you should kiss me right now.” he finishes, moving his head to release a tiny cough after, his body making a point.

there was a risk of you getting sick of course, but you already kissed him twice earlier, so what’s the harm in another? and you voice that to kai who sensibly says,

“it’s not the same, kissing on mouth means swapping saliva and that’s where all the actual germs are.” you sigh, knowing you can’t fight science and cross your arms in faux anger, turning your head away from him. hueningkai laughs while shaking your shoulder, “i just don’t want to get you sick.”

you shrug him off and turn back to look at a smiling kai. his pink face and plump lips, mussed hair and pretty eyes were pulling you in. he teases you further, “i can give you an air kiss?” bringing a hand to his pursed lips.

you climb into his lap and straddle him, leaning in close enough to where your lips brush when you whisper, “i don’t want an air kiss.”

“i-i’m serious…” he stutters unseriously, his body already close to giving in as his eyes flutter and his breathing starts to get heavy. just the ghost of your lips moving against his has him weak. maybe it’s the fever that’s clouding his mind, not able to control the rational part that’s telling him this won’t end well.

“just one, hm?” you bargain, wrapping your arms around his neck and locking your fingers behind him, his head automatically tilting back. his lips parting and his tongue peaks out to lick your bottom lip.

he nods, dumbly repeating your words as your lips touch. he softly moans, leaning forward and letting the blanket slip down his shoulders as he wraps his warm arms around your waist.

you could’ve gotten away with more, leaning in for another after taking a breath, before getting interrupted by kai sneezing. a contained sneeze that brings him out it and he leans back as far as he can while being trapped in your hold.

“you only said one,” he accuses and dodges any attempt you make to kiss him again. “why are you still trying to kiss me?” he laughs.

“come on, i don’t care if i get sick.” you frustratedly huff.

“well, i do.” he responds with a sniffle, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth and turning his head in defiance.

“we’re already this close though,” you murmur, pressing closer against his heated body and letting your breasts push against his chest. “i’m probably already sick.” hueningkai swallows, squeezing his eyes shut, his fingers drumming against your waist. he wants to resist the temptation, but he’s not exactly sure if he can. he just wants to protect you from his sickness, why were doing this to him?

you take the chance and lean in and kiss his neck, being sure to make it wet and slide your tongue up the length. he groans in response, a rush of heat spreading through him despite it being cold. you leave another one, closer to his ear where he’s pretty sensitive.

at the same time you take your hands that were around him and drag them down to massage his shoulders that were tense, caressing the achy muscles under his white t-shirt.

“mmph,” he quietly moans, his hands gripping your sides. “feels good…” he whispers, his bottom lip popping from between his teeth.

“yeah?” you coo into his ear, licking around it and moving your hands down to his chest. gently gliding your hands along his body as he trembles under your touch.

“yeah…” he repeats, something he does often when he’s slipping. his brain too fogged to form words himself, feeding off whatever you give say and regurgitating it back.

“let me make it feel even better,” you offer, running one of your hands down lower and lower, leaning back to reach the spot you wanted.

“h-how do you plan to… ngh-“ his voice trails off as you place your hand over his hard-on that hueningkai wasn’t even sure when he got. he leans his head back and shuts his eyes, his lips parted as he pants.

you unbutton the front of his pajama pants, and pull out his throbbing cock. you tease him, slapping the wet tip against his exposed tummy. “you’re so hard baby, already leaking too” swirling a finger around the wet tip.

“s-so hard, so hard for you…” he breathily moans with a sniffle, his eyebrows screwing together and hips twitching with each hit to his stomach. he gasps with a whimper when you start to stroke him, licking a strip on your hand before doing so.

one of his hands drop from your waist and fumbles to find your free one, taking it and squeezing them together. his fingers twitching against you on every upstroke, his moans getting progressively louder.

“mmph, b-baby…” he whines when you brush against the tip.

“yes,” you respond as you lean in close to him, he lowers his head, his sweaty strands brushing against your forehead.

“it feels so good,” he breaths against your mouth. peering his eyes open and looking at you, stars shining in his pupils. “please don’t stop.” he desperately pleads. you weren’t planning on it, but even if you were, how could you deny that?

he leans in to kiss you, eagerly sliding his mouth in place with yours and pushing his tongue into your mouth. moaning as they twirl around each other, a fresh stream of precum running down your hand while doing so. you take it and use it to rub just the tip of kai’s sensitive cock. just small circles around it and causing him to inhale sharply, breaking the kiss, and drop his head to your shoulder.

“pleasepleaseplease - not just the tip,” he begs, his hips wanting to jerk away but unable to as you were sat on his legs. his hand on your waist gripping onto you tightly. “s-sensitive, please…” he shakily whines, fresh tears springing to his eyes.

you decide to be easy on him, not wanting to push him too much since he was sick, despite how delicious his begging sounded. you stroke him normally and he heavily sighs, bringing his head from your shoulder.

“thank you, thank you,” he whimpers, licking his bottom lip and flickering his eyes to yours. “kiss me again, please?”

“so much kissing for being so worried about me getting sick,” you mock him, kissing him before he can respond. his argument gets lost as he melts into the kiss, his body going lax at the feeling of your lips on his.

he whimpers and mewls into the kiss, little praises directed at you between each one. “i love it, i love your lips, i love you…” and you appreciate them, but each one got louder to point he was shouting as you twist your hand on his cock and you had to shush him.

“so loud baby,” you admonish, biting on his bottom lip and he keens. his eyes rolling back as you speed up, choking on a moan. his hips kick up, wanting to thrust into your hand from where he sat. “i know, i’m sorry,” his hushed moans pour into your mouth.

“it’s just so good,” he brokenly moans, his voice cracking as he sniffles. you hum, and press kisses around his mouth, purposely avoiding his lips. moving down his neck and biting him rather hard.

he shouts, his hand trembles against your waist and his body tenses, “i-i think i’m gonna cum.”

“gonna cum all over my hand?” you murmur as you swirl your tongue around the bite, sucking on the skin and leaving behind a tiny mark, just one so he can remember this.

“yes please let me cum all over, please don’t stop-” he wantonly moans, he doesn’t care that you just told him he was being too loud. he couldn’t stop the constant sounds that slipped past his slick lips.

you briefly let go of his hand, skimming your hand to his shirt and lifting it up to his mouth. he takes it, slipping the clothe between his teeth with a muffled moan, his glistening eyes needily staring at you.

taking hold of his hand, you lean down and press a simple kiss to his perked nipples, barely grazing your tongue against it. hueningkai’s grip on your hand instantly tightens, his cock widely twitching in your hand as he stiffens.

you can’t perfectly make out what he says behind the shirt, but it sounds like a mixture of moans and “ohmygodohmygodohmygod-” as he cums over your hand. continuous strings of hot cum shoot out as hueningkai’s back arches into it, completely blissed out.

you stroke him through it, getting every last drop until he starts to convulse under you, dropping the wet, drool-stained shirt from his mouth to breath out, “no more please, s-sensitive…” that’s when you stop and he showers you in thank you’s.

“how do you feel,” you ask once his breathing is steady, squeezing his hand gently that was still holding yours tightly. he lets go and apologizes, opening his teary eyes.

“so much better,” he dopily says as his eyes start to slip back shut. “’m so sleepy now…” he whispers, resting his head on your shoulder with a content sigh.

you laugh, pushing him back and moving to wipe your hand and hand him the lukewarm tea for him to take sip. he gives it back and lays down, huddling back into his blanket.

he sniffles, rubbing his nose before saying, “if you get sick, you can’t blame me.” he shuts his eyes after saying that, blocking you out before you could get a word in and going to sleep.

you shake your head, combing your fingers through his hair as he rests, and ignore the way your throat starts to tickle when you lie down next to him.

© lucidwntrr est. 2025 - please do not steal, repost, or copy !

you wonder how long he has been sitting there as you catch your breath, clutching your chest. you swallow before speaking, "you scared the shit out of soobin, what are you doing in here?" it wasn't uncommon for your friend of many years to be in your room of the dorm the two of you shared, but it was strange that he was sitting in the dark.

he turns towards you slowly and lifts his head. you pause when you take in his appearance, he looked visibly upset. his eyes were red and his bottom lip was quivering, you could also see that there were tear tracks that stained his cheeks as if he already cried. his nose was raw like he been rubbing it and his shoulders slumped inward.

"i…" he starts, sucking in his bottom lip to stop himself from sobbing again. "i'm sorry, i just…wanted to wait here for you to come home." he finishes, turning his face away from you with a sniffle.

you make your way towards him, sitting next to him on the bed and instinctively rub circles into the small of his back. "you don't have to apologize." you smile even though he can't see it. you watch as he brings his sleeve to his face and notice that it comes back wet with fresh tears. "may i ask if something happened, are you okay?" you gently ask.

"not really…" he mumbles.

"do you want to talk about it, you don't have to if you don't want to." and it was true, you only wanted to be a source of comfort for the clearly upset boy and if he didn't want to say anything, you weren't going to make him. he would likely end up telling you on his own time anyway.

he timidly nods before speaking. "you remember that girl i was talking to…" he begins, his voice small. you nod your head and he continues. "well, i met up with her today just for her to tell me that i wasn't her type."

your hand pauses on his back with a frown creeping onto your face, causing soobin to turn towards you his eyes wide and glistening. "w-was that too weird to tell you?" he says, preparing to apologize and get up to leave. he was already embarrassed and wanted to spare himself from being even more so.

"no! no, i was just caught of guard is all." you reply, continuing to soothe him with your hand. soobin nods and looks away from you again, snuffling. you frown deepened as you thought about what he just told you. how couldn't they find soobin attractive, have they seen him? of course, there's subjective beauty and all that but…

"i'm sure you're plenty of other people's type." you respond, hoping that it would provide some comfort. it seemed to only make the matter worse though as soobin leans forward and places his face in his hands while shaking his head. you raise your eyebrows in shock at the sudden movement, your hand pausing in the air where soobin's back just was.

"yeah but, she said told me that i wasn't pretty." he says, his voice trembling and muffled behind his palms.

well that's bullshit. and pretty rude for someone to say to someone, let alone to the person you know might have feelings for you. a part of you was happy that they revealed their true self, but upset that it was at the cost of your best friends feelings. soobin is gorgeous, the most beautiful person you know and you make sure to voice that to him.

"hey," you say, pulling him up and making him face you. he had a pout on his face and fresh tears building up in his eyes. you brows twitch and you rub your thumb under his eye, you can't let soobin go around being mopey cause some idiot doesn't think he's pretty. "you're like the prettiest person i've ever seen, honest."

soobin blinks with a small scoff and that makes you upset. you're not sure why you were upset that soobin didn't think so, but it was a little unnerving to say the least.

"i'm being serious, you're so…" you cup his soft cheek with your hand and soobin leans into the touch, looking up at you through his wet lashes. your breath catches and your eyes drift down to his mouth, leaning forward just a tiny bit. soobin's eyelids flutter as he also starts to lean in, before catching himself and pulling back with a sheepish look on his face.

"it's okay," you whisper, taking off his hood and wrapping your hand around the back of his head. you slide your fingers into the hairs at the nape of his neck and bring him in closer. "is this okay with you?" you ask, lips inches apart and soobin blinks at you while his face quickly turns pink.

he nods and licks his dry bottom lip, "why are you doing this?" he asks, and he sounded genuinely curious as to why you were touching him so tenderly and wanting to kiss him like he wasn't the definition of beauty personified. you always thought so, stealing glances at him ever since you've known him. you never wanted to cross the line though, push the boundaries that you felt the two of you were confined in, just friends.

you shrug and answer honestly, "i don't like when you're sad and i don't like seeing you cry. plus i like being this close to you." soobin blinks rapidly at your words, his fingers fidgeting in his lap.

"well, 'm not sad…" he mumbles with a sniffle that contradicts his words and you hold back a giggle. "i'm just not pretty according to her."

you grunt, "she's a fucking dumb ass."

"maybe they're right," he looks down with a hollow smile playing on his lips and you drop your hand with a sigh.

"she's not," you insist and soobin's eyes trail back up to your face. "you're the definition of pretty, everything about you is pretty. you've got - you're just - " you huff in frustration, heat rising up your face and soobin's eyes widen in slight amusement.

his eyebrows crease when he speaks, "are you okay? i think you're more upset than me about this." his laughs comes out dry.

you roll your eyes at him and grab his hands, caressing the back of it with your thumb. "maybe i am, i just need you to know how pretty you are. you have to know, okay?"

"okay, but…" he starts, his voice trailing off. it's hardly a whisper when he starts his next sentence. "will you tell me what about me is pretty?" he looks at you with his wide eyes, his bottom lip jutting out cutely. he looked so pure and innocent.

"i think everything about you is pretty," you say, removing your hand from his to bring it back to his face. your fingers gently trace his lips and soobin twitches. "your smile."

"i don't think my smile i-"

"i wasn't done talking." you admonish.

soobin obediently shuts his mouth, swallowing hard. there's a new light shining in his eyes when you say that, they look glazed-over. the corners of his mouth twitch as he blinks at you slowly and you notice the way his breathing gets heavier.

"your lips…" you bite yours as your press your thumb against soobin's, tugging on it. soobin can feel his eyelids getting heavy as he pants against your finger. "you have the prettiest lips, so full and always slick since your always licking them."

"you must spend a lot of time thinking about my lips," he replies, his voice airy when he speaks.

"how couldn't i," soobin can't hold back the tiny moan that came out of his mouth at the admission. "you have a very distracting mouth."

"i've distracted you?" he asks, as if he doesn't know the effect he has on you right now. as he leans towards you and into your space, you can feel a rush of heat run through your body. you nod your head while caressing all over his face.

"i really want to kiss you right now…" you whisper, your breath fanning across his face and making him shiver. his eyes flicker to your mouth before making eye contact again. "really bad, i really want to make you feel good and show you just how pretty you are to me." you can't control the words that flow out of your mouth not that you started talking, soobin didn't mind though. he liked the rush of warmth that spread through his body and down to his cock as you admit how you feel about him.

"how?" soobin voice comes out soft as he moves further onto the bed, turning to face you. you do the same and push him back onto the soft comforter, hovering over him so close that your bodies are inches apart. his heart feels like it's about to beat out of his body, his chest rising and falling faster than it ever has in his entire life.

"soobin," you splay your hand against his tummy, right above the waistband of his pajama pants. soobin's sharply inhales when your hand slides under it and you place your hand on his prominent bulge. "is this because of me?"

soobin feels like his face on fire, turning his head to the side to try to hide from you. "yeah, i-i'm sorry…"

"you apologize a lot." you shake your head, your fingers wrapping around his length through his boxers. soobin bites back a moan as your warm hand engulfs him.

"do you always get this hard when someone touches you?" you ask him.

"n-no," he stutters over his words, his face getting pinker and his hands twitching at their sides. "i guess i'm just really attracted to you." he breathes.

"yeah?" he nods, his tongue sliding across his bottom lip. his cock was starting to ache as it strained against his boxers, the anticipation that was running through his body almost getting too much. he was so turned that it was a little hard for him to think right now.

"what do you wanna do… to me?" soobin tentatively asks, his words coming out slow as to not ruin the moment. god, he really didn't want this to end.

you smile, a teasing one that makes soobin's breath catch. "what do i wanna do to you," it was getting hot as the two of you panted heavily between each other, your hand itching to do anything to him but not wanting to scare him. your fears parallel to soobin's own. "a lot. i wanna taste you. i wanna touch you all over. i wanna make you-"

you're cut off by soobin surging forward, your train of thought lost. he wraps both of his arms around your neck and pulls you down onto him, smashing your lips together. it's heated and a little salty from the tears that have dried against his. soobin whines, his mouth parting further and allowing the kiss to get deeper.

"fuck," he sighs against your mouth. you remove your hand from his pants and grab onto his slim waist, slotting a leg between his thighs. soobin gasps, his hips instinctively grinding up against you with a whimper.

you catch the sound, kissing him again. you slip your tongue into his mouth and he reciprocates, dancing his tongue around with yours. his shaky hands finding your waist as he ruts against your leg desperately. as much as you want to make him cum like this, you would rather take advantage of this moment and touch him as much as you can now that you had him.

you lean back, breaking the kiss and soobin pouts which makes you laugh. you run your hands down his body as you sit up and take in soobin's debauched appearance. he already looked fucked out, his hair disheveled from the pillow underneath his head, his face rosy and his lips plump from all the kissing.

"you still with me?" you teasingly ask him.

soobin nods his head rapidly, his sweater-pawed hands coming up to cover his face. there's a question in your eyes that you wanted to ask and you decide to before doing anything else. "hey, before we do anything else i have to ask… are you okay with this? i-i mean i know we just kissed and all, but i need to be sure. i don't want you to feel li-"

soobin giggles behind his hands, "do you think i would be this hard if i didn't want to do this?" he asks, gesturing to his hard-on and that makes you smile and your worries fade away at his reassuring words. you don't waste anytime once you get his consent. you remove soobin's pajama pants and then his boxers.

soobin hums, relieved that his cock is freed from their constraints. you press your hands against his supple thighs and run them along the soft skin. you slide down until you're in front of his cock. it was much bigger than you imagined, not that you fantasized about your best friends dick often. it was thick and heavy, flush from his arousal.

you wrap your hand around it and soobin moans, his cock jerking in your hand and you look up to watch soobin's expression. his eyes were fluttering and his head was tilting back, his pink lips parted on a drawn-out moan. you start to stroke him, tantalizingly slow and teasing.

"mmph,"

you lean forward, sticking out your tongue to lick the bead of precum that starts to drip down his cock. you run your tongue leisurely over the head, lapping at the slit while jerking the rest of him with your hand. soobin is so pretty, makes such pretty sounds as you work him.

"please," soobin breaths, sliding a hand into your hair and tugging the strands a bit. he pulls your head back and looks you in the eye, you stare back into his glossy wide ones. "please stop teasing me."

"okay," you comply with a smile, lapping up more precum before popping his head into your mouth. soobin sucks in a breath, his back rising off the bad as you suck on it. you trace your tongue along the vein on the underside of his cock and you can hear a cacophony of stuttery moans as you sink further onto him, the grip in your hair getting tighter.

you quite enjoy the feel of soobin's cock in your mouth. his reactions to you are so hot and the way he leaks into your mouth turns you on more than it should. you moan, bobbing your head along his cock. it might be a little sloppy, but soobin doesn't care as he thrusts his hips up into your mouth gingerly.

"waitwaitwait-" soobin chants, suddenly pulling you off his cock. you hum around his tip and raise an eyebrow at him. he was chewing on his bottom lip and avoiding eye contact with you, he seemed to be finding the right words to say. "i…it's just-"

"mhmm," you encourage him to keep talking, your tongue still licking at his head and your hand touching the rest of his cock which distracts him, allowing his words to flow out of his mouth a little easier.

"it's just that, i was wondering if you would maybe…fuck me?" he sighs, his words a little whiny as you stroked him. you couldn't hold back the laugh that bubbled out of your throat, which makes soobin's face fall. he avoids eye contact with you, his face hot with embarrassment.

"sorry, i wasn't laughing at you i promise. i was laughing because, isn't it obvious that i want to fuck you?" you let the honesty pour out of your mouth and soobin's face softens as you looks you in the eye. he leans in to kiss you again, a heated make out session that lasts for a while. until soobin can't contain himself and needs more.

he pulls back and removes his hoodie that was making him hot, leaving him naked and vulnerable in front of you. "a-are you going to take anything off?" he asks. you smile with a nod, removing everything but your oversized t-shirt and then moving to straddle his waist.

you run your hands over soobin's exposed chest and pull out tremor from him when your fingernails graze past his nipples softly. his breathing speeds up the longer you caress his body, his cock twitching against your cunt.

"have you ever… thought about me like this before?" you ask, skimming your fingertips along his sides and making him writhe underneath you.

soobin licks his bottom lip, gasping when you move your hips and his cock catches on your hole. "i mean… maybe one time." he admits sheepishly. you couldn't fight the grin that was making it's way onto your face and soobin blushes.

"yeah?"

"yeah- it was on a day you came back from dance practice," soobin says and you attempt to wrack your memory, but you were in dance pretty often. "it was a rainy day, you probably didn't check the forecast or something. he sucks in a breath when your fingers wander around his hips- " anyways, you had on some short-shorts and a-" he blushes violently now. "a white tank top."

"and what about my tank top?"

"it was just- it was all soaked from the rain and i could… i could see a lot, okay?" he admits, his words coming out rushed.

"and?"

"and i maybe jerked off later to the thought of it." soobin snaps, shy. he pushes your shoulder lightly and you laugh, cooing at him and peppering little kisses along his face. soobin looked so cute all huffy and pouting, it was really doing something for you. you push back against him, letting his cock slide in between your folds and it's so sticky from the amount of precum.

you take his hand in yours and rest it on your stomach, "do you wanna touch them?" you ask. soobin's eyes widen and his brain might have short-circuited a little. he nods his head slowly and watches as you slide his hand under your shirt and up your sides until he reaches your breasts. he moans when they touch, his fingers lightly holding onto the flesh.

"so soft…" he says under his breath as he touches them, his cock pulsing. your skin starts to feel hot as he touches you, little moans slipping past out your mouth as you grind against his cock.

"you sure you want to do this?" you ask for reassurance once last time before the two of you cross the line you were always scared to. his other hand comes up to hold onto your waist, his fingers flexing against it.

"please," soobin keens. it sends a tingle down your spine. you let your hands drag down his torso as you admire his pretty body while rubbing against his cock. "please hurry before i cum like this."

you giggle with a wink towards him, "maybe next time you can cum like this." you reach between the two of you to smear the precum that gathered along the length of his cock, lubing him up with his own liquid. you hold him and align him with your entrance, teasing him by rubbing against it, his lips opening on a pretty 'o' at the wetness. you slide down onto his slowly until your flush against each other.

"holy shit," soobin feels like he could see stars. he feels good, like really really good as your tight cunt sucks him in so nicely. it's hot and dizzying, it's so good. you start to move, raising your hips and dropping them in steady movements. soobin feels like he can cum at any second, the loud and squelching sounds only make it worse. "it feels really fucking good." he mumbles.

"mm, i know baby. are you going to be able to last, hm?" you purr at him.

soobin chokes when he thrusts his hips up to meet yours, skin slapping against skin. "i-i don't know i don't know, i just feel really fucking good." he repeats. you lean forward a little, your hands coming out to run your fingers through his hair and pushing back the sweaty strands.

"you look really good too, so pretty." you rest your palm against his cheek and he turns his head to kiss your palm softly while nodding in agreement. when he turns back towards you his eyes look a little wet. like he was about to start crying again. you brush your thumb under it, hoping to catch any tears that may fall.

soobin plants his feet for a better angle on the bed, fucking up into you as you bring your hips down and swivel them against him. it was a slow pace at first, and it drove soobin crazy. he was hardly hanging on, his eyes closing shut at some point and his hold on you almost bruising.

"harder, please. more," soobin pleads and the both of you start to move faster, and he chants your name over and over, it's the only thing he can say right now. it gets louder each time. you couldn't take your eyes off of him, he looked so good getting fucked, from his disheveled hair to his flushed face and sweaty body, he was so sexy.

"you look so sexy like this," you mutter your thoughts aloud. your hand coming to press flat against his chest. you take the pads of your fingers and circle over his pert nipples, before dragging them down his sides and back up along his sensitive neck.

he feels like he is about to cum, excited and desperate as if he's never fucked someone before. he wantonly moans with each push in. "oh my god-" he gasps, his breath catching in his throat.

"c-cumming," he announces. his body trembling as he shoots deep inside of you with one final thrust. you can feel each spurt of hot cum and each throb of his cock as he empties himself. little whimpers and whines continuously sliding past his lips as he cums.

the feeling of him cumming inside of you bring you to your orgasm, a quick shout of his name coming out as your legs tremble from the intense orgasm. soobin groans under you from the overstimulation of you squeezing around his cock, his fingers tapping against your sides and his toes curling.

he pants when he comes down and laughs as he says, "fuck..." he reaches a hand up to brush back his hair.

"so?" you ask, smiling at him.

"so what?"

"do you believe me now when i say you're pretty." he pretends to think about it, pursing his lips and tapping his finger against his mouth.

"i'll be honest- until you said something, i totally forgot the whole reason why i was sad in the first place." it makes you laugh and he laughs with you as you lay down on top of him, resting your head on his sweaty chest.

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