Nimdra

More Sigil Magic

Top two images and bottom image originally created by: Seraphickalmagic.tumblr.com

Middle image unknown

it’s not a choice. i don’t choose to wake up and feel sad or do destructive things with myself. it happens and i have no control over it, although i’m trying to deal with it.

i’m not trying to gain attention. even if every person needs attention and support from people around them, when i express myself or show symptoms i’m not trying to be the center of attentions. most part of the time i’m only trying to vent or being victim of something i can’t control.

you don’t deserve a Nobel prize for taking me to therapists or psychiatrists. it’s awesome to receive support from my family, but doing things like taking me to doctors to help me manage my illness is nothing but your obligation as my family. i don’t owe you anything for it, so stop exhibiting yourself to make me feel guilty.

i won’t suddenly get better and sometimes i will get worse. i see your support, but it doesn’t make my illness disappear. getting better is not something linear, so maybe it will take time to make me feel better and sometimes i will get worse and that’s normal. don’t blame me for it.

don’t tell me to “react”. that’s one of the things that annoy me the most. people who are mentally ill know what they have to do, we are not dumb. most part of the time, we can’t do things you are asking us to do. it’s like telling someone who broke his leg to run.

don’t make me feel like i’m the villain. don’t tell me i’m hurting people around me for being so sad all the time. i know people get worried and sad about me and when you tell me these things it only makes me feel worse. again: I CANT CONTROL THIS SHIT.

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