Between Cloud and Chasm

Windfur tells Shadepaw about his recent meeting to the Moon Dome, and how he saw Blackpaw, seemingly to offer comfort. Shadepaw keeps comparing himself to Windfur. Why couldn't Blackpaw visit him in his dreams? What did Windfur have that he didn't?

(Shadepaw, apprentice, male, 7 moons. Competitive.) (Windfur, cleric, male, 36 moons. Lonesome.)

Nectarpaw disagrees with how Olive approaches mediating clanmates. She's frustrated when Olive doesn't take her opinion seriously.

(Olive, mediator, female, 78 moons. Calm.) (Nectarpaw, mediator apprentice, female, 7 moons. Charismatic.)

Windfur is glad to have a friend like Morningspot. He appreciates their herb patrols together - neither of them talk much, but they value each others' presence.

(Windfur, cleric, male, 36 moons. Lonesome.) (Morningspot, warrior, female, 24 moons. Nervous.)

Cottonheart brings Perchwatcher some food, hoping that she remembered what her favorite was. She blushes when she sees her happy. Perchwatcher appreciates Cottonheart's friendship.

(Cottonheart, warrior, female, 12 moons. Bold.) (Perchwatcher, warrior, female, 17 moons. Responsible.)

Barleywave asks Owlpaw how she's doing. Daffodilpaw notices this from the other side of camp. She thinks Barleywave pays more attention to Owlpaw than she does to her.

(Barleywave, warrior, male, 51 moons. Playful.) (Owlpaw, apprentice, female, 9 moons. Adventurous.) (Daffodilpaw, apprentice, female, 9 moons. Careful.)

Tree lets Ghostkit play with their tail, being careful to face away and cover their face with moss. Brackenfreckle shoos Ghostkit out of the medicine den when she notices.

(Brackenfreckle, healer, female, 20 moons. Grumpy.) (Tree, warrior, non-binary, 53 moons. Ambitious.) (Ghostkit, kitten, male, 2 moons. Shy.)

In a moment of vulnerability while looking at the aurora in the sky, Cloudthunder opens up to Tree about her worries for the future. Tree feels the same - and yet promises to fight to protect the Clan - and her. Suddenly, all at once, words spill out and keep spilling out, and by the end of the evening, they've agreed to become mates.

(Cloudthunder, warrior, female, 55 moons. Loyal.) (Tree, warrior, non-binary, 53 moons. Ambitious.)

---

Cloudthunder lived for beautiful moments like these.

As the sun set on the horizon and the leafbare chill fell on the forest, the night sky lit up with stars, and the glow of the sunset was replaced with a different kind of light. Gentle, pale green waves beamed down towards the horizon, and rippled softly over the treetops. It was faint - but it was beautiful nevertheless; a rare sight that inspired awe in the entire camp. Iciclepool and Hopechase's kits squealed with excitement at the shifting ripples of color, and yearlings like Perchwatcher, Branchsnarl and Brackenfreckle stared up with awe like they were young apprentices. Even Redstar, who had been gloomy for most of the month, found herself sitting in camp and staring above with subtle wonder. Cloudthunder had seen the sky do this before, when she was an apprentice. It was one of the few memories she still held onto fondly from Lakestar's leadership.

And now, here she was, experiencing it again with three adult children, a thriving Clan, and the freedom of movement. She could have gone anywhere, but today she was in camp, and she was happy.

ForestClan admired the sky for a few hours, and told stories. It was StarClan gathering together to show their joy and parade through the night. Or the tails of foxes that were chased out of the territory by fire, the triumph of ancestors immortalized in the sky. Olive spoke of Twolegs admiring these lights too, holding up cubic and rectangular objects up to their faces, pointed towards the sky. Sometimes they placed them on three-legged stands and left them overnight. A bizarre ritual. A few cats pondered or laughed about it. Eventually, cats grew weary, and retired to their dens one by one.

Then, Cloudthunder was alone. She sat near the dying cinders of the fire, promising Clanmates to extinguish it and empty the ashes before retiring to bed. Instead, she kept the glowing cinders company, reluctant to go to bed.

She tried to push down her sudden influx of worries. No, not anxiety, or dread. She's felt those before and by StarClan, she was never going to feel that again. She had zero interest in feeling trapped and paranoid under an evil gaze again. No, instead, she thought of her Clan, and her children.

Before her mind could wander too far, her ear twitched at the sound of footsteps in the snow. She turned, and her heart skipped a beat as she saw Tree approaching her.

"Tree," she meowed.

"Cloudthunder," Tree greeted. Their voice rasped in the cold. Cloudthunder frowned with concern.

"You're still sick with yellowcough. You should be in bed."

"Shiverstep said I'm recovering. I should be better in another week or two," Tree replied. They sat down by the fire across from Cloudthunder, and stared up at the sky. A smile cracked across their tired face. "I wanted to admire the sky more. Couldn't sleep anyway."

Cloudthunder purred softly, also staring up at the sky. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"It really is something special," Tree admitted with a smile. "I think...I've only seen this once before, as a kit. I remember staring up at it for such a long time that my neck hurt afterwards."

Cloudthunder let out a mrrow of amusement. "Oh no, that must've hurt in the morning."

"It did. But it was very worth it, I think. It's not often you see these. We won't know when we'll see them again."

Cloudthunder nodded and added a mrrow of approval.

Tree paused, before letting out a cough and a sniffle. They groaned in annoyance.

"Would you like tea or anything? I could boil water," Cloudthunder offered.

"It's alright. Thank you, though. You spoil me," Tree replied with a sparkle in their eyes. Cloudthunder couldn't help but feel heat rise to her face, she sheepishly looked away and failed to stop a smile spreading across her face.

It was extremely unfortunate that Deerspring was right - she did like Tree a lot. And before being confronted with that, she had no trouble just having fun with a flirty back and forth with the cat. She never intended for it to be anything that deep - or at least that's what she kept telling herself - and now that she had to admit that she was a terrible liar, she wasn't sure what to say.

Should she even say anything, given the world they live in?

The worry that gnawed at her chest earlier returned. She stared at the aurora above, hoping that it would clear her thoughts. Instead, a cold breeze picked up, and she was reminded of the night she went into labour last leaf-bare.

She tried to pretend everything was going to be fine and that she didn't care if the Living Tendrils came. It was a fact of life, kits would die, and she'd be sad, yes, but she would get over it. It was an accident, after all.

That was a mistake.

And as moons went by and Redstar failed to die, and young cats like Blackpaw were snatched up by the woods, the fears for her own children increased. She bottled them up. Pretended everything was going to be fine and they could take steps to prevent death. But there were stranger outsiders that hated them and wanted them dead, wanted her children dead, and every day that passed she mentally prepared for the next Ritual of the Lost she would have to participate in, praying that it wasn't for her children.

"Cloudthunder?"

"Hm?" The molly glanced at Tree.

Concern veiled the cat's expression thinly. Tree tapped their tail once. "...You seem lost in thought. Anything on your mind?"

Well, yes, but I would rather not, Cloudthunder thought to herself. She looked back up at the sky. "Nothing in particular."

Tree's whiskers twitched and they sniffled once. "...Did you feel like sharing?"

Oh good, she was terrible at hiding mousedung. Cloudthunder sighed. "Am I really that obvious?"

Tree let out an amused huff, then twitched their tail and gestured dramatically, "Your eyes are as vibrant as sunshine, fair molly! To bask near them is a privilege."

Cloudthunder laughed. "Oh, quiet, you!" she hissed, swatting a pile of dusty snow in their direction. Tree shielded their face and smirked, returning the gesture. Cloudthunder sputtered as snow hit her face, shaking herself out.

"Hey! No fair, you have bigger paws," Cloudthunder protested as she got up and approached them with a mischievous look. Tree shielded their face with their paws and let out a laugh.

"Hey, no - " Tree coughed, " - no attacking the sick!"

"Oh, you're getting better, get over it," Cloudthunder smirked as she batted snow more directly towards them. Tree was pelted and let out a fake dramatic wail, rolling on their back.

"Ooof, oh no, I'm being attacked! How dare you attack the sick and elderly? Oh, the atrocity!" Tree's voice turned into a rasp, then a series of coughs. Cloudthunder's amusement stopped, and her tail drooped.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah - " Tree coughed, "yeah, I'm good, just - " More coughing. Tree sat back up and Cloudthunder took a few steps back, her ears folding.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to trigger it," she mewed.

Tree finished their coughing streak by clearing their throat and sniffling. "Ah, stars - sorry. I swear I'm getting better. That just came out of nowhere."

"Maybe you should get some rest?"

Tree's emerald green eyes flickered, and they paused, lost in thought. Their tail swept the snow beneath them. Finally, they turned to look at Cloudthunder, and the molly fought against looking away.

"Only if you do."

Cloudthunder let out a chuckle. "Not sure if I can right now."

"Then tell me about it. Then we might both get some sleep."

Cloudthunder looked away. Tree slowly sat down beside her, angled away in case they started coughing again. After a few moments of silence, Tree prompted gently, "I have time. I'm here to listen."

Cloudthunder's heart tightened. She sat down, staring at the snow blankly as she organized her thoughts. Did she want to talk about this with Tree? Would they even understand her worries? Tree had spent more time as an outsider than a warrior of ForestClan. She assumed that they never had kits of their own. Would they be able to empathize with her at all? Was this too heavy to drop on a cat all of a sudden? Tree was still sick. They should be resting, not listening to her really bummer venting.

"...You don't have to, Tree. I'm just overthinking things," she said.

Tree's ear twitched. They tensed. "...I'm here to listen," they repeated.

"I know, and I appreciate it, but - " Cloudthunder cut her words short when she glanced up at them, and saw Tree glancing back at them. Their eyes carried an intensity she hadn't seen before - fear, she dared to wonder? - and Cloudthunder couldn't bring herself to walk away from them. She blinked once, then sighed deeply. She looked towards the sky again, relying on the soothing ripples of light to keep her emotions steady.

"...I worry for the future. For my kits," she began. "I know it's pointless to worry. If the woods come, there's very little that I can do to stop them. I should enjoy the time I have with them now, as much as I can. I could never abandon ForestClan - it's my home. The land is so beautiful. The view of the mountain, the lake, the field and forest - you can't get that anywhere else. It's our home, not the home of Woodcrawlers. But..." Cloudthunder's copper eyes flickered. She tucked her tail around her paws. "...Sometimes, I get scared. I just want to...put my kits on the back of some Twoleg monster, and let the monster drive far away to who-knows-where. I'd never see them again. But they'd be alive. And...and I wouldn't have to hold a Ritual of the Lost for them someday, like I did with Bearkit and Magnoliakit." Cloudthunder scoffed as she felt her voice cracking. Shame rippled through her pelt. She laughed at herself. Oh, this was stupid. This was a mistake. Validating that fear out loud was a terrible plan. Great StarClan, she was turning into Iciclepool. "It's...it's a ridiculous thought, I know. But...I don't want to lose them."

There was a tense silence that followed. Cloudthunder refused to say or think anything else. She was terrified of looking like her mother when she was a kit, sitting at the walls of camp and sobbing into the night, begging for her own mama to return from the ether. She refused to look that vulnerable to anyone.

"...I understand."

Cloudthunder side-eyed them. Tree scowled.

"No, really. I do. And I don't think that's wrong to think that."

Cloudthunder chuckled dryly. "Ah, yes. I'm sure Redstar and Iciclepool will take thoughts of leaving the territory well."

"Why is that a bad thing?"

She tensed. "It just is, Tree. ForestClan has tried it before. Search parties never returned alive."

Pause.

"Did you find evidence of their death?"

She said nothing.

Tree looked away, then sniffled. Their voice rasped. "Look. I get it. It's hard. And...I'd be lying if I said that I didn't have my own doubts about staying in ForestClan at first. Learning about the Living Tendrils, and your history of apprentice trials - I was concerned. For the first moon, I thought you might be cats trapping yourselves voluntarily here. But then I learned about your culture. Your history with other Clans that used to exist. Your - " Tree suppressed a cough, " - hgn, sorry. Just...long story short, you fought for your right to be here. And you've built incredible things - methods I've only seen out of Twolegs before - in that determination to stay. Even so," Tree's eyes flickered, "that doesn't mean we don't hope for a better future, one far away from here without fear."

Cloudthunder met their gaze evenly. "It's not just for my kits. It's for...for every kit. Daffodilpaw and Owlpaw. Shadepaw and Nectarpaw. Cats I care for," Cloudthunder meowed. "I just..." She looked away. "...I've buried enough mementos and empty graves. I've seen too many cats and apprentices die. I thought I was numb to it after Lakestar's leadership, but after Blackpaw..."

"...Do you want to leave?"

"No," Cloudthunder said immediately. "I...I couldn't. This is our home. I just...I wish I could...I don't know, grab the hypothetical 'safe place' from wherever it is, and drag it over here instead. Even if it has to be kicking and screaming, I want to make it free of whatever mockeries are out there."

"...Then, I'll fight it make it a place like that."

The resolution of that sentence surprised her. Cloudthunder met Tree's gaze, and found herself unable to tear away from the determination in their eyes.

"That's how we'll make it a better place. And we can do it. For as long as I still live, I will fight. I'll tear off Woodcrawler legs. I'll tear the limbs off Tendrils. I'll burn whatever Nature's Mockery and den entrance I find."

"Don't." Cloudthunder bristled, a surge of panic rushing through her. "Please don't."

"Why not?" Tree pressed.

The white and grey molly sputtered. "You'll get hurt. It's dangerous. I don't..."

She trailed off. Tree didn't prompt her for an answer, but as Cloudthunder stared into Tree's eyes, and she felt resounding terror at the idea of a patrol coming back and telling them that Tree had saved their lives, that they were brave, and courageous, and gone -

"I don't want to lose you too."

Speaking it made it reality. Heart thundering. Every joke, every time she made them laugh, every time they shared a meal and told a story, every time they explored the territory beyond its normal bounds, just for fun, just because they could. She would lose this. Lose them. And she couldn't do it. She loved them. She loved their friendship, their jabs and jokes, their passing flirts and the smiles they gave. She loved their intensity in the face of protecting those they loved, she...oh stars, she did love them, and every attempt to shove it down in a hole and pretend it didn't exist failed.

Tree kept their determined gaze, and then, a flicker of affection danced across their face. "You won't lose me."

Cloudthunder's ears folded back. "You can't promise that," she retorted.

"No, silly, not like that. I'm not immortal," Tree chuckled. Then, they slowly brushed their tail across Cloudthunder's back. "You won't lose me, because I'll do all those things with you, and with the Clan. We'll make it better for everyone together. You won't lose me, because I have you to come back alive for."

Her heart stopped and her face turned hot. Her fur bristled as she suddenly felt the urge to zoom out of camp and scream like a flock of common sparrows at dawn. Oh stars, what was she, eight moons old? She stuttered and looked away, embarrassed and too overtaken with feeling all at once. Tree made a raspy mrrow.

"Sorry. Too much?"

"No," Cloudthunder sputtered. She entwined her tail with theirs suddenly, afraid they'd pull back. "No. It's okay. I..." Despite the worries that still plagued her, a smile spread across her face. "...I just didn't think I meant that much to you."

"Now, hold on a second," Tree's throat rasped, but Cloudthunder knew it would be a loud protest if they could've managed it. "What do you think we've been doing for the past few moons? I thought my feelings were obvious."

"W-Wait, you weren't playing around?" Cloudthunder asked sheepishly, head bowed. Tree initially looked hurt, until they saw the wide-eyed pleading look in the molly's eyes, and they burst out laughing. Then devolved into a series of coughs that they turned away to sort out.

"Oh stars, sorry," Tree finally managed after clearing their throat. "I'm so sorry, that was adorable. Yes, of course I was serious, Cloud. Does ForestClan not understand how courting works at all?"

"Y-Yes, we understand courting! I just didn't know that's what we were doing," Cloudthunder admitted, looking away with embarrassment.

"Why?" There was a pause for a moment, until Tree's fur bristled and they looked away nervously. "...I, ah, I guess I'm not the best choice of a partner."

Cloudthunder's eyes widened to the size of plates. Her brain sputtered, "What?"

Tree hid their self-deprecation under the veneer of humor. "Well, I mean...if it wasn't obvious already, I can't sire anything. And if that was something that mattered to you, well, that's unfortunate."

Cloudthunder scowled. "Tree, do you think that matters to me at all?"

"...Does it?"

"No, mousebrain!" Cloudthunder shoved them playfully. "If hearing me talk for the past ten minutes wasn't clear enough, I'm already worrying about one litter. I don't want more. You're perfect. Please don't ever doubt that."

"You do understand that if I wasn't sick right now, I'd be pressing my head all over you, right?" Tree said with a smirk.

"Do you want me to bat you with snow again?"

"No thank you," Tree purred. "...But, I do mean it, Cloud. I keep you in my heart, like you keep your family and friends in yours. I dunno how ForestClan does it, for non-Clan cats it just kinda...happens," Tree shrugged, then meowed, "do I have to, uh, ask if you'd like to be my mate? Seems weirdly formal, but I mean..."

And for a brief moment, Cloudthunder's worries melted away. Whatever worry she had about the future, about others, about her kits - maybe, just maybe, things would be okay. Tree was by her side. Tree would fight to stay by her side. They promised to. And maybe tonight, until the light of rippling green waves in the sky, that was all they needed. Right now, things were okay. Right now, things were good. Right now, she was happy.

Cloudthunder squeezed her tail around Tree's tightly, then looked into their eyes, the green light from above bouncing off of their gaze gently. They were beautiful. She hoped they knew that they were beautiful, and she loved them.

"Of course I'll be your mate, Tree," she meowed softly. "I love you. I want you to know that above all else."

Tree's eyes narrowed with joy, their entire body purring. "I love you too, Cloud."

---