vs4death

Whenever I talk to my friend about what’s happening in commentary/reddit youtube, he has no idea what the fuck I am talking about. So, naturally, I decided to do a lil crash course in like half an hour at 1am.

Don’t take this too serious, my whole blog is basically one giant shit post. It’s in no particular order.

BluesDank

irl name henry

ike 19 y/o??

v british

looks like a cute lesbian

probably has a bald spot under his beanie

WildSpartanz

irl name brandon

18 y/o

‘murica

like the king of reddit youtube

he’s fat and ppl point it out a lot

there aren’t a lot of flattering pics of him but he’s a cutie

would smash

Hoover

real name unknown (but apparently it’s like jack??? sounds fake but ok)

like prolly 18-19 y/o

brandons jewish twin

idk a lot about him but he has no chill and would probably push someone off a cliff if they annoyed him

QuackityHQ

real name alex(is)

recently turned 18

he will find every online game of your childhood and RAID IT

used to be thicc, but now he ain’t, like again would smash

he is from mexico but before his glow up he looked like an 14 y/o asian boy (y’all can’t change my mind)

KingAni

real name Ani (pronounced more like ana)

23 y/o so basically a grandmother

THE MOST WHOLESOME PERSON ALIVE

she’s just so fucking cute

confirmed bisexual so we stan that

she loves cats

she is prolly dyslexic

Aksually

actually Aksel

19 y/o even tho he looks like forty

estonian

he has two pink hats and wears either one of them all the time, bc he’s literally bald

like he just shaved all of his hair off bc it annoyed him?? like what a power move??

new to the reddit youtube game, but he’s doing so well

quackity’s best friend

just a very wholesome person once you really watch him

he just loves his mom and wants to support her

FPSDiesel

no one knows his name

no one knows what the fuck fps stands for

20 y/o soon to be 21

has a big tiddy goth gf

hispanic boy who can’t speak spanish

should get new glasses

does pretty good n interesting videos actually

he’s funny when he’s drunk, there’s a vlog about that

Kwite

real name is prolly tyler

18 y/o

asian

we don’t know his face buT wE KNoW HIs HeArt

bi w/ big lean towards guys

his voice cracks everytime he fucking talks he sounds like a 12 y/o boy in his videos

but in podcasts he has normal voice thats nice to listen to

we’ll probably never know what he looks like I think

tbh no one even knows why he doesn’t show his face

I know for a big old fact that all of the mercs are super attractive I just figured I’d remind y'all why. This is for u @pophype 💖

Scout:

Cute face

Upturned nose

Dark blond hair

Buckteeth

Freckles

Big ears

Super cute rambling

Literal baby face

Skinny baby

Thunder thighs

Soldier:

Buff boy

Loud and proud

Loves raccoons

Smokes gravel cigars

Square jaw

Hidden pretty eyes

Very muscular body

Will literally cover himself in honey and charge into battle

Big dummy

Loves unconditionally

Pyro:

Absolutely adorable

Super good at having fun

Loves all their friends so much

Is literally the hottest thing in the room at any given time

Tells the best jokes even if no one can hear what they’re saying

Demo:

Hot and he knows it

Yet another buff boy

Soft lil beer belly tho for sure

Very cuddly

Loves his teammates so much they help his depression

Prettiest brown eye in all the land

Has a love for cryptids

Heavy:

The Big Boy ™️

Is very soft

Great for cuddles

Big and scary and super buff

Soft tummy

Can pick you up no matter how much you weigh

Loves his mom

Is really into reading and books

Big nerd

Engineer:

Strong but soft

Acts like an old man sometimes

Plays the guitar

And the banjo

Sweet southern accent

Probably sings really well

Is a cowboy

Sweet temperment

Science boi

Medic:

That Chest Tho

No for real @ the burly beast cosmetic

Built like a brick shithouse

Laughs easily

Is very social and vocal

Loves to dance

A very jolly man

Down to go crazy

Science boi part 2

Sniper:

Damn those abs tho, did u see the comic?

Voice that sounds like pure sex

Very body confident

Smooth talker

Looks like he should be wearing a leather jacket and leaning against a motorbike

Loves hunting

Has a lot of fun slang in his home dialect

Spy:

Dapper gentleman

Pretty voice

Unusual and very cute laugh

Is basically a stick but still hot

Has funny tan lines

Really nice hair under the mask

Takes care of himself despite how much he smells

[►] I’m sick as crud right now and want to do nothing more than to just go back to sleep, but I got out of bed and forced myself to make these gifs because HIGHT DIFFERENCE FEELS! Ian stands up on his tiptoes to say something to Anthony over the loud music which is ADORABLE, but what really put it over the top is when Anthony realised Ian’s struggle and BENT DOWN TO HIS HEIGHT! IT’S SOOOO FREAKING CUTE and the fact that you can only see their silhouettes makes it EVEN BETTER! Their height difference is so amazingly beautiful and gives me so much life! <3