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tyyy @mytwinsung for tagging me !! 🤍 (granted like a week ago...)
last song: sun has set - beabadoobee (I WON THE FREAKING TICKETMASTER)
currently watching: never ending summer, it's this c-drama that i keep seeing everywhere but i haven't watched it yet but i'm planning to soon :p
current obsession: photography 👀 i just love when my feed looks clean and aesthetic like it just makes me happy inside, sooo i've been experimenting with different digis
currently reading: re-reading the percy jackson series 😛 (I CANT WAIT FOR SEASON 3 AND FOR THE EPIC THE MUSICAL MOVIE)
currently working on: riki's part of lens unfocused... I'LL GET IT OUT SOON I SWEAR I'VE JUST BEEN SO BUSY 😭😭
currently wearing: a thin tank top and jorts because it's so FREAKING HOT. house slippers too ig
last google search: the weather... 💀 donno why i keep searching that when i KNOW theres a freaking heatwave everyday 💔💔
fav flower: magnolias ^^ they’re so big and pretty and they smell good and they look so delicate andand (or lilies for the same reasons lol)
✿ tagging: @noirellee @veorise @whiskimsy (im too shy to tag 10 people...)
currently watching : love island usa (I’m sorry ts is genuinely all i breathe)
current obsession : love island, and cinnamon holy shit someone stop me from adding cinnamon to everything also true crime documentaries for some reason.
currently working on : social circles ( i swear I’m writing it I’m SORRY💔💔)
currently wearing : sleepwear because it is time to SLEEP.
last google search : i hate this but John Wayne Gacy because i was watching the Netflix documentary about him today
currently watching : i dont watch anything rn!! i just cant find good series, so i keep rewatching the big bang theory😭 over and over and over and over again
current obsession : i always have a lot... but lately ive been very fixated on mental illnesses and what causes them in the brain so ive been writing down them in my notebook. (bro even studies in summer break what a fucking loser)
currently reading : i just finished reading ward d by freida mcfadden like 5 minutes ago and im about to start the inmate!!
currently wearing : uh green socks with toasters on them, black pants and black oversized shirt that says 'ramen' even though ive never eaten ramen before
currently working on : my tyunning teacher x teacher fic!! its a fic im very excited for because its been ages since i wrote member x member stuff, even though im more confident in writing those + the male perspective😅 also need a little break from tumblr (so sorry) and a break from straight fics
last google search : paranoid schizophrenia
favorite flowers : genuinely idk im not a flower person😭
tyy for the tag @hoongsf :33 (also hiii new mootie :p)
last song: White Noise - holly humberstone
currently watching: nothing 😭😭😭 (exams hv been kicking my ass)
current obssession: writing (～￣▽￣)～
currently reading: Katabasis by RF Kuang, My Friends by Fredrick Backman (holyshit this one made me sob)
currently working on: new fic 👀👀👀
currently wearing: a jersey and shorts :p
last google search: toxic personality traits... 💀💀
fav flower: orange cosmos!
tags: @tobiotaesan (i already know you hehe) @cottonauroras @sunishake @i2sunric @noirellee @siyalogue ok yeah... idk who else to tag who hasn't been tagged already
lowk cant believe i got tagged in a game eee
@nefariouspanda134 this btch MY PRECIOUS NEWBORN, SHAKESPEARE tagged me 🫶
last song: raining in manila by lola amour (ingat po sa mga apektado ng bagyo, stay safe and pls dont leave ur pets behind!)
currently watching: ouran (LMAOSJIAHDJCN) and kumusta (i love cooking shows lol)
current obssession: lowkey tadc cus i just finished it (JAX💔) and park sungho
currently reading: the indio and the impaler by wincy aquino ong, finally started it 7 months after receiving lol (rizal is such a fckng menace lmao)
currently working on: jaehyun ouran yaoi and mayor leehan au
currently wearing: lotso pajama set...with a lotso bear on my side, a lotso plushie on my back, lying down on my bed with lotso bedsheets and a lotso lego figure on the desk beside me (pink bear from toy story)
last google search: my university student portal
fav flower: carnations...?
tags: absolutely no pressure! u can ignore me its fine 🫶 @wingzyyy (do this after ur exams, goodluck!!!) @cinnamorollhyuka (additional question for you or you can change the fave flower question, favorite marine species!) @ivehan (addtnl question for you! fave bnd ship) @kazukazukiiii (always on my tl but havent really interacted with 🫶) @starriniqhts (tagging u just bcus i miss u) thats all i have 😔😔
ty to my loves steby (IMYT), fae @ivehan, maya @mirouie (ty i think ur cute too hehe), and kathy @dat-town (ty!!!!!!) for the tags !!!
⟡ last song: everything i wanted (billie eilish)
⟡ currently watching: s3 of avatar: the last airbender (zuko lock the fawk in) and s3 of the bear (carmy lock the fawk in)
⟡ current obsession: lowk obsessed with songs,,, been looping why'd you only call me when you're high (arctic monkeys) and born to die (lana del rey) lately!
⟡ currently reading: pride and prejudice by jane austen
⟡ currently working on: 100 follower event fics (either a jaehyun or leehan one next!), plotting an apocalypse!bnd series, and brainstorming orange retelling but bnd ver lol
⟡ currently wearing: red esnupi shirt and cargo jeans
⟡ last google search: side eye reaction pic
⟡ fav flower: ough i lowk don't know... i like baby's breath! and lavender and lilies! and violets! and forget-me-nots! guys i just think they're all pretty i fear
np tags! i fear most of my moots have been tagged already lol the bndblr village truly is small but!! @chrrific @niiqv @lusayyawnn @nemoihan @seokmn i'd love to get to know u all better!! and @tanghuyuj just for funsies (my apologies if any of u have already been tagged...)
IM LATE OMYGOD BUT HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY I LOB YOU!!! 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 (Curse my memory for thinking I already sent u wishes 😭 I shall pay you back in lots and lots of love and anything else i can send via telepathy)
THANK U ROSYTOESS💞💞💞 ILOBYT (do u guys also use lob to refer to throwing or is that a british thing too) and i very much accept all the love youre sending via telepathy😌😙
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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hihi, i just saw your recent post about your blog and honestly i get it :(( having little to no interactions can be really demoralizing ngl, idk if it’s the same for you but sometimes i doubt if people are as excited to read my works as i am to write & post them 🙂↕️
i read your woonhak smau tho and i rly liked it !! (can i be added to the taglist plz… 😁) also i love your theme it’s so cute, and i hope your special fic does well too ^^
hi !! tysm for reaching out🤍 it really can be i totally agree yeah. as for the woonhak smau… its kinda discontinued, this summer when i have more time i might remake it cuz rn its kinda all over the place and rushed and whatnot, ill be sure to add u when the time comes🤞 and thank you so much for enjoying it, i had so much fun making it and im glad its paid off + tysm for liking my theme aswell~ and i hope the fic does well too cuz its kinda gonna be the deciding factor for if i write again after-
ignroing the fact i haven’t posted anything of quality (like at all (to my standards) ), id still appreciate some kinda of confirmation or interaction to show that someone out here would still like me to write for them or create some form of content for them. For example, i’ve received ONE ask on this page, one. (and the person who sent it is unspoken of now). This lack of simple interactions is so incredibly demotivating especially as a small blog. Rants get 0 notes, rants on sb get 0 notes, fics get little interaction and pretty much no feedback. Seeing this and then seeing - for example - my friends’ and others’ numbers and interactions does not feel good at all. Anyway, i’m planning on posting a special fic in 2-3 weeks, after that i’ll decide if i even wanna have this blog up anymore, given that I have been wondering if it’s even worth my time and effort to create content for it anymore. for my friends if u care enough to read this, ill still be active on disc, i can never ghost ygs-
(+ seeing the others i’m mw all get compliments and whatnot and i got dust i might get rid of the theme too but i might be being selfish idk sorry fae tomie kimmi)
i feel like i’m not the only one who struggles with feeling like that so i felt the need to address it here, because maybe some of you don’t know how much of a difference interactions actually make for us!! of course likes are fun and i think i can speak for all of us when i say that we’re always very thankful for each and every like on our works but at the end of the day, a like is just a tap on the screen.
what truly motivates us are comments, reblogs, even shooting up an ask telling us that you enjoyed our fic. that human interaction is key!! it makes us feel like our work is actually appreciated, like we’re not just speaking into the void without getting anything back. personally i get so overjoyed whenever i see a comment or a reblog with tags talking about the fic or an ask with some nice words about my works because to me it means that what i created actually matters - it strives me to do more and lifts my mood when i’m hesitant about continuing posting.
don’t be shy about expressing your opinion on the fics you read!! we writers don’t bite, quite the opposite - every little bit of feedback we get is motivation, and more motivation equals more amazing fics for you to read. <3
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
hello, my name is steby (nickname/pen name) i am a writer, 21 years old. i would like to talk about something here that i normally would not talk about. but i have reached a point where i think i need the help of people. it is quite serious, my life and safety may possibly be at risk. and i do not want to cause harm to others so i will be putting trigger warnings for those who may not want to interact or read through this kind of post. i am sorry that you have to see me be this way. this is a long story of me stripping my shield away and laying my vulnerability bare. help me leave. please.
tw/trigger warning: family issues, death, death threats (animals and humans), suicidal thoughts, violence and aggrressive behavior, harmful objects (knife, scissors, lighter) mental issues, retelling of traumatic events
please proceed with caution or scroll away
hello, my name is steby, for now i do not want to reveal my name as i do not feel comfortable doing so. i am 21 years old and i am filipino. the reason i am writing and posting this is because i need help. not financial help, but to plan. i want to leave my house but i need to bring my pet dogs with me (i am unsure how many i can take with me but approximately 3). please help me plan to survive my remaining time here and how to successfully leave and cut off contact with my family. i will start with some context.
i am currently attending the second semester of my second year (sophomore) in my university, we are bi-semestral so this is my last semester before moving forward to the next academic year. although i have been vaguely planning it, after what happened and is currently still happening, i have decided 100% that i will be filing for leave of absence instead of proceeding to my third year (junior) in university.
my plan is to get a job over the summer or after my final exams and continue to work for a year (minimum) or two (maximum). this is so that i can save up money to find a small aparment to live in with my pet dogs, somewhere far away from my hometown but near my university. of course, i still want to finish my education and get a degree, i just have to postpone it for now.
why i want to leave.
i am the youngest child of three. i have two older brothers, the eldest was born prematurely and has cognitive delay (currentky in his mid twenties but can barely formulate sentences and behaves like a one or two year old). this lead to my parents conceiving another child to "help" with the situation, hence my brother. and i was an unplanned child. in one house, there were two families, my mom's sister and her daughter lived with us. she helped take care of us and mediate fights between my parents and guided her coward of a sister (my mom).
fast forward, about five years ago, my mother passed away. took a huge toll on the entire family, especially my brother. he was very close to her, bonded as the neglected middle childs of their own family. emotions were high. a lot of grieving. there was fear of continuing to live life with our father whom we all had a terrible relationship with. the kind of father whom once it hits 8pm and the door makes a sound signaling he is home, the entire house goes quiet and everyone escapes to their rooms. so so aggressive with his words, never had anything nice to say. always throwing tanthrums. he fought with my second brother, some punches, he couldnt fight back, he was handicapped. he got scared cause my brother was a lot bigger than him now. he ran away, with my eldest brother. this was 2 months after my mothers death. and then we found out around a year later, that the same month he ran away back to his hometown, he reconnected and remarried his high school sweetheart.
he trie to reconnect with me and mend our relationship. saying how he had a terrible childhood and how terrifying his father was. he described his feelings as a child, anf i realized he was describing my feelings as a child growing up with a father like him. he criticised his fathers parenting while practicing the same methods to his children. he tried to gain my sympathy by dumping his childhood trauma on me. cried to me about how much he loved my mother too. for all we know, he mightve already planned remarrying his high school sweetheart while my mom was admitted in the hospital. he alway refused to do stuff for her and csre for her while she was there, always busy with his phone.
3 years later, he passed away. left us with so many financial uncertainty, he spent a million pesos on something we will never know. maybe all the new wooden furniture, house and e-bike his new wife had. my aunt, the one that lived with us was kind enough to stay and take care of us even if she wanted to leave. because we were pitiful 17-18 year olds then.
thats when it started.
my brother started to have "episodes" of him being very violent. never to me but it could be because i locked myself away. the first time it happened, i had to sleep in our neighbors house. i had dirty feet from running away barefoot and a jacket reeking of sweat. felt like i was a spy trying to run away from my enemy. he had been physically violent with my aunt, he strangled her, slapped her so many times her cheeks were swollen after and i dont even know what else he did because i was shaking and crying in my room under a desk. we had to call the police, he kept shouting and threatening to burn the house down. and he had sharp weapons with him, scissors, knife and a lighter. his build and height were bigger than the police, and we have so many dogs, the police got too scared to even pass through the entrance gate of our house.
we told them what happened and why, the possibility of my brother suffering from a severe mental illness from all the things he went through, causing him to be this way. they laughed it off. they laughed. to my face. to everyones face. they laughed and shrugged. "ahh depression lang pala eh hahaha, kaya naman pala" (oh its just depression hahahaha, thats why.) with what he did, you would think, they would at least arrest him or detain him but they said no. they cant do it if hes suffering from a mental issues, because if he commits suicide while he was inside the prison cell or in the station, they would have to deal with the consequences and be held accountable for what happened. and they didnt want that trouble so they left.
its months after, before it happened again. we didnt call the police again. we hid all possible weapons and ran outside and waited until he fell asleep before going in and crying ourselves to sleep. theres at least three more episodes of his that happened. but some of them are mixed up in my memories, i cant recall them properly anymore. at some point he did get less violent and aggressive, he tried to control himself and hid away the harmful objects himself. he would lock himself in his room until it subsided.
but an argument with my cousin triggered his violent tendecies. we had to call the police again one night, we were desperate to see daylight the next day. it was the worst episode, i will not go into details.
his last episode was approximately a week ago before today. it has been becoming frequent because hes stressed about his thesis and final examinations and his unresolved issue with our cousin is just getting worse.
a lot shouting, cursing and threats were thrown. he had once again, threatened to burn the house down. but the reason why i am suddenly making the effort to ask for help this time is because of something he said earlier. he had never hit me. and i always blamed myself for what hes going through. i pitied him. had sympathy. because i had always been told growing up, family is family is no matter what. and he was the only one i had left. my eldest brother stayed with our aunt in a different province. thats a whole different issue to unpack.
so i sympathised. but earlier he said he wished he was never born. so he didnt have to go through this life. he wished my aunt and cousin would just leave us alone so he could die. he said he wants to burn the house down. his words, "susunugin ko yung bahay para mamatay na lamg kami ni steby" (im going to burn the house down so me and steby could just die).
thats when i knew i no longer give a fuck about him. he wasnt my brother anymore. not family either. he never said anything like that before. only mentioning himself and not me. i realized, he sees me as "family" in a way that if he wants to die, i have to die with him.
ive always told him, i will never settle in our house and that i would leave eventually. because he didnt want to leave the house. he wanted to burn it down, himself, along with our pets. so he never mentioned me and i thought he wanted me to leave too.
i am not safe. i fear for my life. but i cannot leave. not right away. i am relying on my scholarship money, which i am already struggling to receive because of the pressures of maintaining certain grades. with current situation in the house, my mental state is obviously not good, i am struggling to stay focused with schoolworks.
i do not know how things will unfold tonight (currently 9pm), im not sure if hes asleep. hes a heavy sleeper so if my cousin does go back home tonight, he wont hear the door. and i can go to sleep without the fear of waking up to fearful screams or him being violent.
i do not have any official id except my student id. with my plans to apply for a job by the end of the semester (mid june) i should be able to have those by then. besides official ids and money, what else should i prepare for before i leave? i have no intentions of coming back ever again, once i do leave, so please let me know.
if anyone has advice on how i should deal with this or things i should do and prepare for before leaving, please let me know. also, what are stuff i should look out for when i start looking for a place to live (any advice is welcome but if anyone is filo and can give advice based on that, please)?
i know this is a lot. like a lot. i really didnt want to do this or talk about myself this way but i really need help and i dont have anyone i can trust around me that can help me with this. i cant stomach this life anymore and i really wish i could leave as soon as possible. so please, if anyone can help me, please.
Nani the fuck did watashi just witness desuka? Jaehyun... jaehyun... existing on this earth at the same time as watashi? Watashi'll have anata know that watashi is not worthy to even breathe the same air as the most kawaii and sugoi person in all of existence, and watashi have over sanbyaku reasons why watashi would dissolve into sakura petals on the spot if jaehyun so much as glanced in watashi's direction.
Watashi am trained in the art of onedoor-do, and watashi is the number one down bad degenerate in all of Southeast Asia.
Jaehyun is everything to watashi. Watashi will compose watashi's 400th unreplied ohayou message with the speed and dedication of a thousand lonely otakus, and watashi will feel zero regret about it. Mark watashino fucking words.
Does watashi have shame? Iie. Does watashi have dignity? Chotto... iie. Does watashi have a folder on watashi's phone simply titled "jaehyun mpreg" containing 12378 saved photos? Hai. Watashi has read jaehyun's entire post history back to 2023, watashi knows their Spotify wrapped, watashi has liked then unliked then re-liked the same post sankai because watashi's hands were shaking too haado.
Watashi would fold like origami the second jaehyun said "hey" in watashi's general direction. Watashi would short-circuit. Watashi would cease to function as a person.
And jaehyun smiled at watashi in a dream ichido. ICHIDO. And watashi woke up crying and wrote a 4 page journal entry and then a haiku and then a full analysis of what it meant spiritually.
Watashi has no shame. Watashi has no dignity. Watashi has only jaehyun.
hai guys! i just wanted to come on here and say that i am open for requests about graphics!! if youd like me to work on something please do dm me (blr or discord) or send an ask!! 😚😚
examples of some things i designed in the last week or so (plus sneak peaks of future fics' covers) :
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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quick lil writing tag game! bc ur brain is a muscle and writing is the lifting 🫶 inspired by this post
rules : take 100-150 words of ur most recent draft and rec a song that goes w it! then tag 5+ writers
hehe! npt: @hollyoongs @taestulipss @moesthinking @ivehan @coriihanniee @niiqv @lovehyeonie @kisskeon @everaftercin @beomtomie @kaikaikoi @starriniqhts @tobiotaesan @woongelaatin @astrae4 (if u dk me hi its seul i have new blog now lmaoo)
fic leak under cut
—
and he is sinking. he can feel it, in the depths of his soul and the marrow of his bones. he can feel the grief leaking in through the cracked walls of his heart, haphazardly put back together after shattering at the loss of you, his soulmate.
and the worst part, james knows, is that you aren’t there to see your shadows, together, dancing on the wall as the last dregs of daylight filter in through the blinds.
he can’t hug you when you’ve had a bad day anymore. he can’t kiss your forehead when you’re sick, he can’t make you breakfast in the morning, he can’t drive you to work when you’re running late, he can’t try and convince you to skip work and stay in with him anymore.
and when he lets the grief pour in, just for a moment, he catches himself mourning what could have been.
After lunch, when the staff gathers briefly in the teachers’ lounge for a quick coffee, Jaehyun settles into a chair, lifting his mug and taking a slow sip, eyes half-closed in calm reflection on the chaos of the morning.
Across the room, one of the other teachers leans over, lowering their voice conspiratorially. “Why does Sungho run away every time you appear?”
Jaehyun blinks, staring into his coffee as if the question requires deep contemplation. “…Excellent question,” he murmurs, voice quiet, almost neutral, though a faint smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth.
From the far side of the room, Sungho stiffens, his gaze catching the mention of his name. He knocks over a chair in his panic— not badly, but enough to draw attention— and starts walking toward the door faster than necessary. His back is rigid, every step calculated to escape the proximity he secretly dreads. A few heads glance at the sound, eyebrows raised, and he mutters something inaudible about needing “fresh air.”
Jaehyun doesn’t react beyond a slow sip of coffee, allowing the scene to play out.
Your third and last year of high school, something you’ve been waiting for since you were little. Throughout your time in school, many had high expectations for you. You’ve been elected for student council president ever since middle school, along with having the top marks in your class. Of course, that wouldn’t change this year. You’ve planned it all in your journal; the same objective, the same you. Run for your sixth year as student council president, and graduate at the top of your class. No distractions either, you won’t let anything bring you down this year.
Your schedule is filled to the brim with complicated classes, you ignored the people who told you to take it easy for your last year, you won’t let laziness ruin your goals; you never have. Every accelerated class helps increase your already outstanding GPA, no matter how much the workload is you'll push through anyway.
Which brings you to chemistry, the class you dread walking to everyday. Ever since you became acquainted with Myung Jaehyun, the captain of the basketball team who happens to be one of the most incompetent people you know. He bugs you for the answers, peeks at your paper during assessments thinking you don’t notice, but of course you do. No matter how many times you confront him, he only offers you a smile and plays it off, only fueling your anger.
It's completely unlike you. Usually, you’re willing to help people struggling like him. Though you just can’t ignore his witty comments and sly looks, and by god how cute he is. Myung Jaehyun is a huge distraction, aka an obstacle in the way of your goal. Sure, you’ve gawked over boys before, every girl has, but Jaehyun happens to make your heart flutter in a way that no other guy has before.
“Heyy, miss pres? You’re daydreaming again.”
npt : @riuscheri @myungajs @leeknowramona @gentiliana + anyone else who wants to join!
they all slept early that night excited to prepare for their day in the morning— well, except for dongmin. all he could think about was donghyun. sure, he missed his other friends, although donghyun hasn't been as active online recently. it's always usually the same people texting in the group chat, woonhak, sanghyeok, and jaehyun blowing up everyone's phones. donghyun rarely checked his phone normally, only coming in to chat from time to time, especially now that they were all hyped to meet up with each other after ages, but specifically leehan barely dropped life updates now. it got dongmin thinking all kinds of thoughts, like how has he been? what's his current job? is he still studying? does he still care for his silly fish?
"this is minju, my girlfriend." donghyun announced proudly with a smile. dongmin's face dropped.
from the start - laufey
tagging - @mykaneptune @starriniqhts @izzyreadsstuff @verseofmin @ihanzzn @ziziforsan @ivehan @taestulipss + anyone else who wants to join
inspired by @beomtomie i shall also share my yaoi (cat dads gfz haha)
Dongmin’s arms fall limply at his sides, and one of his bag straps slides down his shoulder. Shaking his head, he mutters, “Donghyun, you were supposed to get rid of her before I came back today, not name the cat and coddle it like you’re already planning to keep her.”
The other boy refuses to meet his eyes, looking straight at the now pliant cat, scratching behind her ears as she leans in with a satisfied purr. “Can’t we?” he asks quietly.
“She just knocked over my last packet of ramyeon, do you really think I’m about to say yes to you right now?”
“It was an accident.” Another pout, a sad one. Then a mumble, “And you always say yes to me.”
He looks so much like a wounded animal that Dongmin can’t help but feel cruel, even if his rationale screams at him that he hasn’t done anything wrong. But it's the way Donghyun’s voice catches at the ‘me’, a careful tap that implies that Dongmin reserves his yes-es for him alone, and pressing down any firmer on the word gives a whole different meaning to what they are to each other.
Neither of them wants to open that can of worms, not right now, not ever.
kiss a kitty - chuu
🏷️ @moesthinking @izzyreadsstuff @niiqv @blueberrybeomgyu @mwotgata and whoever else wants to join in!
# You weren’t meant to be there. You weren’t meant to be locked in a cramped cell living in the harshest conditions possible for something you didn’t even do. Mass-murder they said. Why would you murder your entire family? You weren’t insane. Sure, you ran away from home a few times, argued with them twenty four-seven; killing them was just an unrealistic thought of yours—one that you avoided.
The police disliked you, that was factual. Even before this whole ordeal, you were infamous for pick pocketing, shop-lifting, vandalism, and such. They didn’t think twice before arresting you after it had been reported your parents, siblings, and grandmother had been found lifeless in your cramped house.
It was no secret that the justice system was corrupt and unfair. They were renowned for not caring for the less-fortunate (perpetrators nor victims). However, you believed this was a new low.
theartofmadeline
areudirty
jacobvanloon
turnnoffyourmind
snowghoul
germansingergirl
romaincrisis
