i feel so annoying mentioning it but i genuinely can't help but feel jealous about all the people who'll get to meet/see the teamies in la over the course of the next few days. i'm so so so utterly jealous it's almost crazy. obviously it's not them who pick their own schedules, it's the company. and the company is doing a shit job lemme tell you because as a european lune all we get is literally nothing. no concert screening, no vr concert, no pop up stores or even photoism for most of us... it's so frustrating and just plain sad so excuse me if for the next week i'll be bitter and annoyed about it all.
of course i'm happy for every lune who gets a chance to see their favs finally!! it's a huge deal and i'm also very happy for the teamies, the growth they're experiencing is so so big. but i can't help feeling envious of all these people, esp knowing how it was with my previous ult. seventeen are also under hybe and in the now 11 years of them being an active group, they have only been to europe once, for lollapalooza, which i obviously could not attend. no eu tour, nothing. i can't help but feel that it'll be the same with &team: no matter how much i hope and pray to one day see them live, i feel like it'll just never happen. it is bound to remain merely a dream that will always be out of my reach. all i can do is just sit in my room and cry about it like the pathetic idiot i am.
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