Happy Happy Happy •Positive Mind•

Why do we put SO much attention on finding this single emotion?

Why is it SO important to find “the right person”?

Does LOVE always equal happiness?

How do we see the relationship between Love and Lust?

What makes relationships last?

Hormones play a role in our emotion. Oxytocin (the cuddle hormone, molecule of love). 

Love is actually a habit that is formed from sexual desire as desire is rewarded. It works the same way in the brain as when people become addicted to drugs”. 

Another way of understanding love and lust would be that desire, love are on a spectrum that evolves from integrative representations of sensation to an ultimate representation of feelings. Thus they are not the same thing, but are intimately connected. Cacioppo, Bianchi‐Demicheli, Frum, Pfaus & Lewis (2012)

Corresponding Scale for this theory “Love Attitudes Scale” (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1986), 6 styles of love :

**Eros : **Passionate love; irresistible to someone with a desire to be the exclusive focus of that person’s attention. Gottman : eros is not a major driving force for many newly married couple

**Storge : **Affectionate, close, and emotionally intimate. Akin to the feelings we have for close friends, and related to long-term commitment and those qualities that allow relationships to endure.

**Ludus : **“the game-playing love”. Relationship is seen as a way to play with feelings of affection and attraction.

**Pragma : **A pragmatic approach. People seek a person who fulfills certain conditions or who possesses such qualities deemed necessary for a suitable partner.

**Mania : **Also passionate, however the experience of love always seems to be painful. Often relationships are marked by frequent periods of wonderful highs and awful lows.

**Agape : **Selfless love. Oriented towards giving, not getting. Most commonly reffered in the love from God.

Corresponding Scale for this theory “Triangular Love Scale”(Sternberg,1997) :

Passion is high at the beginning of the relationship, overtime it decreases

Intimacy increases steadily throughout the relationship

Commitment may start out very low, but increases over time until it reaches it highest point and then remains steady

Relationship satisfaction is not something that we achieve at one time, then no longer worry about. It is a continuous, dynamic process that changes over time in response to situations, stress, and the personal growth of each partner.

Both husband and wife listed the same seven qualities as most important to a successful marriage:

My spouse is my best friend

I like my spouse as a person

I believe that marriage is a long-term commitment

We agree on aims and goals

My spouse has grown more interesting over the years

I want the relationship to succeed

Marriage is a sacred institution