The night that always covers the lands
The night that as a veil closes our eyes
Sings a lullaby, embraces us as a mother does her child and lulls us to sleep
The night, a companion to those who rest under her cover
Under her secrecy
Within her comforting embrace
Lays a hand on my shoulder
A kiss to my forehead
And with a warm voice
She sings to me
She sings of legends long forgotten
Of lands never seen
And of beings hidden between us
A small child looks up to her
Its head in her lap
With a smile or with tears
With a mind yearning to experience what she sings
A me of a long forgotten past
Now
I lay in her embrace
Hands firm around her neck
Fingers clutching onto the fabric
As tears dampen her shoulder
And the once quiet room fills with her whispers
Her warm voice now laced with worry
A worry that cannot be more apparent
A worry that spills from her words like honey
Sweet
But too sweet, disgustingly sweet
With a last squeeze
With a last moment of her unending comfort
I leave her
I leave her embrace and throw myself into the sun
Because only your embrace can calm my mind
Only your hands can dry my tears
And only your lips can bring me an moment of happiness
The sun's embrace is burning hot
Hands too big and smile too mischievous
A voice cold and unloving
A love burning, tempting
Yet quickly wilting
Nothing like yours
(As if I'd know)
My gaze looks over him
Searching for a trace of you
Nowhere
Nothing
I've lost myself
I've lost time
I've lost energy
All spent for me to take another fruitless step on a path that leads to nothingness
All because your absence
Your loss-
No,
my loss of you
My loss of what was in a pungent past
Has not left me
And as I clutched onto my mother
It clutches onto me
With a pressure that crushes my ribs and rips my heart open
Everything rushing out at once
And once again I'm left powerless
At the sight of my insides all I can do is stare
Because when?
When was I able to be the one I desire
When was I the one I pretended to be
Never
I only was a fool for you
That's what I was
A fool who fell for you and now doesn't know how to get up
