badjokes.com

bullet to the brain

discover what the stuff under the sink tastes like

real life recreation of the passion starring you

climb up a precariously placed ladder on poor foundation while ignoring the three-point rule

death by french fry

eat every pencil you can find in your house

test the conductivity of every fork you own with each individual electrical outlet. Takes note on the wattage coursing through your body. call ComEd and let them know you’re very disappointing in the discrepancies between each outlet, despite paying all your electricity bills. When the electrician comes to fix the wiring issue that is the cause of this power flux, hand him a gun and challenge his fundamental beliefs on morality

replace all drinking water with vodka. Make pasta