bitter

✘ closed starter for @bennettpreston​

the whole night had been one giant disaster and apollo had the bruise on his abdomen to prove it. and now he was sitting on a bench near the ferris wheel, watching parents with their kids or couples in love riding in circles on the mechanism, an ice pack courtesy of ellie pressed firmly to his ribs. he could hear footsteps all around him, so it was no surprise that he didn’t hear bennett approach him. he’d spent the whole night doing a pretty damn good job at avoiding his ex-boyfriend, but, of course, he couldn’t run from whatever painful interaction they were going to have tonight. “whatever you do, just don’t crack a joke at the expense of my pain,” he warns, not even bothering to look at bennett. “my ego has been bruised enough tonight.”

after witnessing the fight between apollo and greyson, bennett stayed at the table he and olivia had been - pondering if he should go find apollo. it isn’t his job to comfort the other boy anymore, but... he couldn’t help but want to know the boy is okay. after about an hour, he stands and moves throughout the fair, in hopes of finding apollo. he’s just going to check up on him and then walk away. no funny business. after about five minutes of wandering, bennett spots the boy sitting on a bench with an ice pack in hand. he sighs softly when apollo speaks, “i wasn’t planning on it, but now that you’ve told me i can’t...” it’s a lame joke, but he hopes he can get apollo to crack a smile - even a small one. he sits next to him, gently reaching to touch his hand on the ice pack, “can i see?”

closed starter for @bennettpreston​ !

Frankie couldn’t help the loud, dramatic sigh of relief that escaped her lips when she entered the empty dance studio, mirrored walls reflecting only the cedar wood floors and baby grand piano in addition to several other sporadic instruments nestled to the side of the space. It was her statuary of sorts, the one place in all of Stowe were she felt completely safe, as if all the uneasiness from the previous night could just melt away while she was holed up within its confines. There weren’t many she allowed to indulge in her little slice of heaven with her. However, if there was one person who could understand the healing power of music and dance it was definitely Bennett, practically a god send to her when she first moved to NYC all those years ago. They developed a friendship in spite of his past relationship to her best friend, and she waste no time inviting him over to the studio in the wake of the festival aftermath. “Please tell me you had a better night at the festival then I did,” The blonde whined playfully once Bennett arrived. She was sat in lazy straddle with a sad little smile splaying across those rosy cheeks of hers. “Or that that you have some new music to cheer me up.”

bennett is relieved when he sees a text from frankie - an offer of escape. it’s not that he hates the festival, but he’s happy for the chance to hang out with frankie. she’s easy for him to be around, and the dance studio is a bit of a happy for him. he’s not a dancer but a dance studio feels like home because of its intimate connection to music. anywhere where music is at home, bennett is too. he makes his way out of the festival, hands shoved into his pockets as his eyes flick around the town. it’s a nice little walk - he’s a alone and the cold air helps him clear his head. the night was mostly uneventful for him, but after talking with apollo, he needs to clear it. finally, he arrives and slips inside, a grin on his face at the sight of frankie. “i did. it was uneventful, but i’m good with that. do you wanna talk about it?” he moves to sit crosslegged in front of her, “i don’t know if cheer is the word to describe some it but sure.”

it has long become clear to lynds that, on any given morning, she isn’t really awake until she’s had a cup of coffee — two, on her worst days. in line at the coffee shop, she stares upwards at the menu at the top of the back wall. why she continues to look every time, she’s unsure. she only ever gets one of three things: coffee with extra extra cream and extra extra sugar, a caramel macchiato with extra caramel, or hot chocolate with cocoa sprinkled on top. it’s really never a hard choice. but she likes looking at her options, wondering what it would say about her if she got a drink like a flat white or a dry cappuccino. she’s humming quietly to herself when she hears her name — she cannot help it when her nose wrinkles at hearing her full name — but she turns around to see who it could be. the voice wasn’t instantly familiar, but she beams with recognition at the sight of bennett. her voice is excited, not quite shrill, when she says, “ bennett, ohmygoshHI, it’s been forever ! ” without a second thought, she nods her head, blonde curls flying around her face. “ let’s do it — lemme just get my drink ? and tell me what you want, my treat. ”

bennett quirks an eyebrow when she responds, but his face quickly breaks into a grin, “it’s been so long! i’ve been meaning to shoot you a text but i never think about it at the right time. so this must be fate, huh?” he blushes slightly at her offer to treat him to coffee, pondering if he should accept or try to pay. he decides to shake his head gently, “let me treat you since i pounced on you in line? please?” he glances up at the menu, mentally noting to try a new caramel cold brew they have before returning his attention to lyndsey, “we could stay here or go for a walk and talk? i’m up for either, but i guess i just wanted to offer?” his words likely come off a bit anxious - but they’re more awkward than anything. he isn’t exactly sure how to handle himself around people that he cares about that he hasn’t seen in a decent amount of time - where do you even begin to catch up with them?

georgia winks at bennett in response to his compliment. the action feels natural, friendly even, but georgia rationalizes it as trust-building. bennett liking her, trusting her, is key. and they are not crosssing any professional boundaries. they are just collaborators. she redirects her attention to his words, pencil scratching the paper as she fills line after line with quotes and observations. she enjoys when bennett praises his own work, it’s sincere, not boastful. when he says a song is gorgeous, georgia believes him. georgia lets out a chuckle, pausing the recorder as she takes another sip of her coffee. “correct. i’d love to hear it,” she says, taking the airpod and bringing it to her ear, pencil hovering over the paper as she waits for the music to start. she makes notes, writes some lyrics and nods, turning on the recorder again once the music stops. “definitely sad,” she says. she purses her lips, knowing the next question might make or break the conversation. “do you want to talk about the story behind it? only the details you want to share, of course. you don’t have to.”

bennett smiles at her wink, happy to be having such an easy and genuine interaction. sometimes being in the town where he grew up could be exhausting - even if he did really love it. he’s always around people who know him from high school and from his childhood, and both of those things are very different than he the life he got used to in new york. even being a singer, he was a stranger on the streets of new york. he could put his head down and move through the streets like no one knew him, and moving back to stowe lost him that anonymity. he smiles slightly, nodding and sticking his in as well. he hits play on protocol by the vamps and looks to georgia as it plays. it’s one of the very first times he’s shown a person the song so it makes him oddly nervous - he’s never nervous with georgia. he’s not sure the reason for the nerves, but knows it’s likely because the song is so personal to him. “it’s, uh... gonna go by protocol, i’m thinking. and it’s about what it’s like to lose someone you love. how to deal with that loss... that sort of thing.”

now that apollo was standing in his kitchen, he wasn’t sure why he thought it was good idea to invite bennett over for dinner. it had been awkward in the grocery store parking lot, so who’s to say it would be any less awkward at his own home? when he texted athena to give her a heads up, she only send back the eyes emoji, clearly as shocked at the turn of events as apollo was. but she wasn’t home yet, her evening class apparently having run over, so apollo was stuck trying to make conversation with his ex-boyfriend as he made spaghetti on the stove. “so,” he starts, his voice a little hesitant as he glances over his shoulder at bennett, “are you gonna’ tell me a little more about this new album? or should i just wait for gia’s articles on it?”

it is beyond weird for bennett to be standing in apollo matheson’s kitchen. he never should have agreed to come over, but there he is - and it’s too late to duck out. slowly, he moves to sit at his counter while he watches apollo stir the spaghetti. he offers a small smile when their eyes meet, shrugging slightly, “i... i guess we can talk about it. it’s just... there’s obviously songs about us on it. and i don’t want this dinner to be weird, but if you promise it won’t be weird... then... lets talk about it?” there’s a pit in his stomach - the idea of showing apollo songs he’s written about their relationship is terrifying at best. a piece of him is fearful that apollo will hear them and disagree with the words he chose, but he’s hopeful that he’ll understand - it’s bennett’s personal perspective combined with a bit of storytelling. “it’s really different from my first one... more... rock inspired. still pop but... influenced more?”

recently, bennett has made a point of trying to see old friends more often. it’s easy for him to hole up in his house and never see people, but he knows that’s not good for his psyche. he needs to go out and see people - have friends he can invite over, invite out to things... so he decided to reach out to friends from high school. he texted olivia, offering to invite her over for dinner. he’d cook and they could just get to catching up. he doesn’t need to be her best friend or anything, but it would be nice if they could be casual friends, at the very least. he wants to make good with people from high school - not that he was necessarily bad with anyone, but he’d lost touch in his move to new york. so, there he is, bustling around his kitchen to grab a bottle of wine and glasses to set out in the living room. his house is relatively small, but it’s cozy and that’s how he likes it. he never wanted a big house. he hears the door and scrambles over to pull it open, a grin on his face, “olivia! thank you for coming over!”

is that lyndsey he sees in line to order coffee? he can’t be sure because it’s only the back of her head, and, god, how embarrassing would it be if he approaches the wrong person? he steps in line behind the person and is slightly more sure, so he decides to speak up, “lyndsey?” it’s not like he’s never seen her before but how can he be sure by the back of her head? he knows her but he doesn’t know her that well. he’s not sure he knows anyone in stowe that well anymore - maybe apollo, but that’s an entirely different situation. he speaks softly again - only about ten seconds after his ‘lyndsey?’, “this is totally weird, but if you were thinking of sitting and staying for awhile, i’d love to catch up?” lately, bennett has been going on a ton of limbs - asking all of his old friends to have coffee or dinner with him. it’s not a bad thing - just a change for bennett.

“yeah, with work. and with … personal stuff, too, you know,” apollo offers in response, hoping that he could just hint at his familial situation and bennett would pick up on what he was trying to say. even after all this time and even after all that the two of them have been through, he still can’t talk about his mom. the second bennett’s eyes meet his, apollo looks away, embarrassed, not to me echoing in his head. he wasn’t sure what part of him was still holding on to the bitterness surrounding their relationship, but he wished that he could just let it go, maybe even apologize for all of the shit he did that got them to where they are now. apollo is caught off guard by the invitation. he blinks once. twice, before he can even think of anything to say in response. “um,” he starts, glancing to the grocery bag cradled in his arm. “i can do you one better. i was planning on making dinner for me and athena, but why don’t you join us?” he lets the question linger before adding, “unless that’s too weird.” apollo nervously bites the inside of his lip as he shifts the grocery bag again, wishing he could better hide how flustered he was. “maybe you can tell me more about your album?”

“mm, personal stuff,” bennett repeats, quirking an eyebrow. it’s enough to give bennett a clue of what he’s talking about - but he can’t be sure of exactly what apollo means. as much as he might want to, bennett can’t read his mind. he’s never been able to do that, even when he needed to the most. he feels like an idiot for inviting apollo over. who the hell runs into their ex in the parking lot of a grocery store and then invites them to their house? what a ridiculous thing for him to do. there’s no way the two of them in his house can end well, so when apollo offers an out - he immediately takes it. “it’s not weird... i miss her. unless, of course, she doesn’t want to see me, which... i would get.” he shifts from foot to foot, nodding, “yeah, yeah, of course. there’s... a lot to tell, i guess. stuff i should tell you about.” it’s a vague statement, but he hopes apollo catches his drift - there’s songs about them.

“something different,” sonny mutters, shrugging a shoulder as he slides his empty glass from one hand to the other, across the top of the bar. this isn’t what he’d had in mind for the night. it seemed like, more often than not lately, his desire to have a perfectly indiscretion-filled night wasn’t in his cards. lots of interruptions, distractions, and pesky high school acquaintances were filling the town back up. “don’t be rude? do you know who you’re talking to?” his laugh is fake, put on in order to soften his words. a craft that he decided to half-craft once out of the hospital. a way to not be a complete dick to everyone, but still remain true to himself. “characters you’ve created? didn’t realize musicians were so fucking full of shit,” a tease, smirking to himself as a new glass is set before him, the bartender removing the old one. how much fun is bennett going to allow him to have? such an obvious clench in his jaw at the mention of his ex-boyfriend, of sonny’s ex-of-use. a still battered hand from nights prior reaches up to gently grab at the tight jaw of his old friend. “you miss him or something?” he laughs again, bitter as he shakes bennett’s head a few times, releasing the grasp on his chin. a few beats pass as he sips his whiskey, drowning any desire to give up his feelings to the musician. “i don’t need you to give a fuck about me. don’t waste your time.”

something different. the words echo through bennett’s brain, and they make him feel... empty, almost. it’s like sonny can tell that those words would strike a nerve for him - maybe sonny does or maybe he’s just lashing out. he can’t be sure, but he can’t shake the way the words make him feel. beyond having a decent singing voice, he’s a boring rich kid from stowe, pennsylvania. he sighs at sonny’s words, shrugging, “you haven’t always been like this towards me, ya know.” it’s a hopeless ploy - sonny isn’t going to give in and maybe it’s selfish for bennett to want him to. the longer they talk, the more bennett realizes that maybe he’s more there for himself than for sonny - and that’s incredibly selfish. maybe he should just turn around and walk out like he’d intended to do before sonny mistook him for someone else. “if everyone only wrote songs about themselves, we’d be bored. some of the best songs tell a story. being full of shit would be lying about that, yeah?” he comments, fingers tapping lightly on the sides of his beer bottle. when sonny’s hand comes into contact with his jaw, he clenches it tighter and swats at his wrist. “don’t touch me, greyson,” he hisses, pulling his head away slightly. when he fully pulls away, bennett takes a sip of his beer and sighs for the millionth time that night, “maybe you don’t need me too but i still do give a fuck about you.” bennett will always care - even if they don’t ever speak again.

“yeah,” apollo starts a little hesitantly, unsure of how to proceed. “i haven’t really seen much of anyone though, i’ve been so busy …” he trails off, eyes moving down to look at his feet. it was half a truth; he hadn’t seen many people, but that was mostly because he was trying his best to avoid as many people as possible – it was just too hard. he feels his jaw clench slightly at bennett’s words and instantly a wave of regret washes over him. he shouldn’t have said anything. his stupid inclination to do and say the wrong thing had gotten him in this situation in the first place, so he should’ve known better by now. “hey.” his voice is soft, quiet even. “i’m sorry, okay? i do. feel the same way, i mean,” he admits. in truth, the things he wanted to say to his former boyfriend could fill a novel that he’d only ever keep to himself. he didn’t want to open the can of worms that was his feelings, but he also didn’t want bennett to walk away just yet. more importantly, apollo didn’t want to push him away again. “aside from your music, how is everything?”

“busy? with work?” bennett asks curiously. as much as he doesn’t want to care about apollo, he does. he cares deeply about how the other man has been. love isn’t a switch, bennett has learned. you can’t just flip it on and off - it’s more of a dimmer switch. he can dim his curiosity, but it doesn’t just flip off. he takes a deep breath, eyes flicking down to his feet and back up to apollo’s eyes, “don’t be a dick. at least not to me.” part of him needs the comfort of knowing that apollo doesn’t totally hate him. he moves to drop his arms from his chest, his voice quiet, “maybe... you can say no, but... come over. we could talk in this parking lot or i could at least make us coffee or something. if you’re into that...” he’s realizing he doesn’t want the conversation to end - he wants to know more. “things are okay... my life is my music at this point.”

the ring, georgia makes a note of it again. it’s one of the opening lines of the profile, and she is rewarded every time he proves her right on how great of an observer she is. his fingers twist his ring, lost in thought, then bennett preston bares his soul on his second studio album. not too far away in the future, she hopes his fans will come flooding into her website for a chance of finding more about about him, about his music. she has to talk to skyler about making sure the user experience is flawless. maybe other artists will come to her for similar work. maybe it’s a way into a larger newspaper. all she has to do is keep picking. “don’t worry, i got it,” she says, her lips curving into something that is almost a smile. she is proud of her work. she jots down a couple more thoughts before taking another sip of coffee. “do you want to go to track five? or do you have more thoughts on this?”

“of course you do. i should never doubt georgia laurier,” bennett coos, fingers still twisting at his ring. in a way, it’s strange for bennett to be telling georgia about the deepest moments of his writing process but... that’s the beauty of having georgia on his side. they’re close enough that he feels like he can tell her absolutely anything, and he knows she’ll always get it. maybe he should try to be friends, more than just co-workers... but he knows that’s not the deal. he shrugs slightly, “well, track 9 is just... a heartbreak song. the usual... but it’s one of my favorites. it’s gorgeous, but it’s also... really sad? it’s the first soft ballad-sort of song i’ve written without help. so i’m proud of it.” he pauses before continuing, “i can play you part of it, if you want?” he chuckles before fishing his airpods out of his pockets and handing one to georgia, “i don’t know why i even ask anymore. i’m 99% sure you’re gonna say yes.”

“small town, i guess,” she says with a shrug. she almost regrets bringing him up, now that they’re stuck in this conversation. she wants to feel indifferent about the whole thing, but deep down she knows she’s not, there’s a certain amount of hurt there that she’s never been able to let go. “it was awkward,” another shrug, “i haven’t seen him since- well, since high school. what about you?” 

“sometimes i think i forget just how small this town is,” he mutters, wrapping his hands around the cold glass sitting on the table in front of him. “high school is a pretty damn long time... did you guys talk or just like... awkwardly say hi and move on?” bennett rubs his hands over his face, the condensation from the glass making his face oddly wet. “well, he and i dated after high school so it hasn’t been nearly as long for me.” he’s careful not to reveal just how long it’s been - he still hasn’t been completely open about their secret second go around.

apollo hesitates, unsure if the truth was really the best thing here. he’s been back for a few months, but has done a pretty good job of avoiding certain people – bennett included. “a while,” is what he decides on. not the best answer, at least it’s something. apollo feels his grip tighten slightly on the bag of groceries and has to take a breath before he looks back at bennett. a part of him wants to just ignore it, to fall back into the way he used to be around the man standing before him, but he can’t. there was no point and he’d probably only be setting himself up to get hurt again. “you don’t have to do this, you know, acting like this isn’t awkward for either of us.” acting like you care. the unspoken phrase burns the back of apollo’s throat because he hopes that it isn’t true, that bennett wouldn’t do that, not to him. he forces himself to swallow the words before he could make matters worse. “yeah, she’s the best. but, um … i’m really glad to hear your music is going well. i know how much it means to you.”

“a while?” bennett asks softly, a slight pang in his chest. he shouldn’t be upset in the slightest - apollo isn’t his to know about anymore. he has absolutely no right to know anything about him and it’s a harder pill to swallow with the boy he once loved standing right in front of him. he sighs at apollo’s next words, hands gripping at the sleeves of his shirt, “it’s awkward, sure, and if you... if you don’t want to do this, then by all means...” he gestures for apollo to walk away. “but just because we broke up doesn’t mean i stopped being curious about how you were doing and i guess maybe you felt the same way,” he quips, his tone turning slightly bitter. maybe it was a bad idea to stop and talk to him. “mm, thanks.” he knows he should tell him about the music, let him listen before it comes out, but... that might just reopen old wounds.

“no, i know you’re fucking boring,” sonny laughs, shaking his head as his fingers rake through half-greasy hair. not the best look for the night, but he was tired and putting effort into his appearance is quite the rarity these days. everyone here knew him and, if they didn’t, sleeping with him didn’t necessarily require him to look good. he just had to flash his pretty blue eyes and award-winning name. “that’s why i was asking what you write about, because clearly you don’t have much to go off of if you’re boring, right?” a gentle dig, picking up a newly delivered drink. he’s sitting sideways, facing bennett while still being able to look past him. you know, in case something or someone more interesting came along. “isn’t me calling your ass nice ego boosting enough?” he looks back to his… old friend? “or do i need to compliment you further? maybe apollo… we could find him to help you out,” a roll of the eyes. “come on, benny boo, you know i’m not talking to you about anything. let’s move alone, yeah?”

bennett presses his lips together at the comment - he can’t tell if it’s meant to be a joke or if it’s meant to cut at him. it doesn’t matter - he laughs it off either way, speaking softly, “what would make me more interesting? a scandal?” it’s half a joke, half a serious question - the comments introduce an insecurity unrelated to the conversation. maybe he is too boring - half of the successful artists get recognition through scandals in tabloids. he sighs softly, ordering another beer for himself and looking to greyson, “don’t be rude, yeah? i write about experiences i’ve had with love. i write about experiences people have told me about. i write things about characters i’ve created in my process... i write about all sorts of things.” he thanks the bartender for his beer, wrapping his hands around it tightly, “i’ll always take ego boosting and you know it.” he clenches his jaw at the comment about apollo, just shaking his head and letting sonny finish before speaking again. it is fairly clearly that greyson is annoyed with him - the eye roll, the eyes that weren’t meeting his. “greyson, look... i’m trying to reach out because i care about you. i miss my.. friend, or whatever we wanted to call it. but it’s fine.”

melody didn’t know and that was precisely why they needed more nights like this. ones where she could file away facts about bennet that she could open and access as she pleased. she wanted more conversations, more knowledge about who he was, but she had never been the best conversationalist. having always been more on the quiet side, she’d never learned how to properly speak without it sounding awkward to her own ears. “just water is fine – if I drink anything caffeinated right now i’ll never be able to sleep,” and sleepless nights always led to bad decisions, the kind that she wasn’t quite ready to share yet. in the two or three months she’s been back, she’d never been good at keeping track of dates, melody still hasn’t opened up. she likes how people see her without her messiness, likes it when they see her as a nice do-gooder and nothing more. “the foundation has decided to sponsor one of the youth sports team in town,” something impersonal, nothing that could allow him to get to know her really. so she opens her mouth once more to try to say something worthwhile, “i’m really enjoying working with mom, she seems a lot less intimidating when you’re working towards the same goal,” it’s not much, but she’s trying. “how has your music been? you have to let me hear some of it sometime.”

he finishes opening the boxes as he nods at her answer, staying quiet. it’s clear that he and melody barely know each other - something that he’s ashamed of. maybe if he’d been less of a terror as a kid they would have gotten close when they were young like most siblings - he can’t help but feel like is his fault. “just water it is,” he speaks as he turns to grab two glasses from his upper cabinet. he fills one from the brita in his fridge and fills the other with orange juice for himself. he slides the glass to her, smiling as she speaks, “that’s great... what team?” it feels like he’s making small talk with someone in the lobby of an office, instead of his sister. “yeah? i’m glad you too are getting to work together. i think our parents are disappointed in my career so at least one of us is following in their steps. he takes a plate to pick out a pastry and smiles, “i have some you could listen to, if you wanted...” he’s offering her something very personal - hearing a track before he’s finished it. it’s his attempt at an olive branch - maybe it would help her open up to him. 

skyler playfully narrows his eyes at the boy across from him and lets out a huff. “this is why i’m bad at jokes! i always forget the punchline,” he grunts. he gives a hopeful grin once his joke is delivered and when he earns a little laugh from bennett, he playfully punches the air. “yes! a win is a win,” he shrugs and swings back and forth in his chair, a childlike smile on his face. “i will definitely work on my jokes so..expect a new joke every time we talk,” he says pointedly. he listens as bennett talks about his music and nods along. “i can understand that. i always feel so nervous when i show someone a first draft of their website. not quite the same but a pretty similar feeling,” he tells the guy, “i just like it to be perfect for them and everything.” he tilts his head curiously at his unlikely friend and grins. “other than music, what’s new in the life of bennett?” he asks. 

“don’t huff at me because you forgot the punch line,” bennett tells him, rolling his eyes slightly. it’s nice to have a light conversation with someone - he and skyler aren’t close, but it feels good to talk to someone and just joke around. even if it’s only for an afternoon. he grins, “a win is definitely a win. and i will be waiting, for your jokes.” he shrugs at his words, “i’m sure it’s a similar feeling. you’re showing something you made to someone - we just have different careers. how is that going, by the way?” he pauses before answering skyler’s next question because he isn’t sure what’s new. he’s buried himself in work and only comes up for air for easy things like their conversation. “there isn’t really anything new. i’m just kind of doing my own thing and working. what about you?”

their ex. it was funny, yes. true? she wasn’t sure. whatever she’d been with apollo… well, it was confusing at best. they’d never really discussed it or said goodbye, all the days they’d spent tangled up together fading into a distant memory. “we don’t have to talk about him if you don’t want,” she says with a small shrug, eyes studying her friend’s face, “i just thought it was odd, since he’s been avoiding me ever since i got back.” 

it’s just an odd conversation for bennett, especially given the fact that he had just run into apollo the day prior. shaking his head, bennett runs his hands over his face, “no, we can talk about him. i just saw him recently too so it feels super weird.” his eyes lift to meet hers but immediately fall back to the glass of water sitting in front of him - why is it so weird for him to be talking about apollo? two days ago, it likely would have been okay, but after seeing him? it feels different. perhaps it’s the fact that seeing him aligned with him diving into songs he’d penned about their breakup. “well, how did seeing him go?”