i don't know what i expected.

❛ HEY. you’re a grown up, right? ❜ she’s in desperate need of something ——— or rather, someone, who can give her a mature answer. he’s not ideal, but he’ll do just fine. ❛ AS A GROWN MAN, can you please tell me, when do boys stop being idiots? it would be really helpful. ❜ 

‘Up for debate’ is his unspoken answer to QUESTION NO. 1. He feels a little helpless, a little lost sometimes, which he doesn’t think was supposed to stick with him through adulthood. You’re supposed to have everything figured out when you’re a grown up: fun for stability  ---  wasn’t that the trade-off?

( txt: Michael B. ) I’m not very good at anything more.

texts.

a late night text.

( txt » I’VE NEVER BEEN TO ELISE )   What do you think? Do you think I’m not that great a guy? I’m starting to think I’m not that great a guy.

a drunk text.

( txt » I’VE NEVER BEEN TO ELISE )   i know our thing is casual ubt i'm findikng ipt difficult to look ant anybody else

a suggestive text. 

( txt » I’VE NEVER BEEN TO ELISE )   It’s quiet in the office. If you feel like swinging by.

an accidental text.

( txt » I’VE NEVER BEEN TO ELISE )   She’s a little cutie pie. But I never really noticed.

a text that wasn’t sent.

❛ i think i’m RESPONSIBLE enough! i mean, i get pretty good grades and i have a job. i promise i’d walk it every day and feed it on time! and it would be like, teaching me more responsibility. you know, to prepare me for adulthood. ❜

            “I’m barely keeping it together. I think I’m dying.” He’s not the sort to take pleasure at another’s expense— but Michael is a Consenting Adult who knows the difference between right and wrong. So it’s a little fair.“What are you— SEVENTY PERCENT carbohydrates by now? EIGHTY? Poor baby.”

Any buzz Michael had going has been soaked up by the sheer amount of bread in his system. Following in his father’s footsteps, it looks like: the Muffin Man and his carbo-loaded son. He’d lay his head down on the table if this weren’t his own doing.

❛ some kid brought his dog to school yesterday. i just thought that might be FUN for us, like another addition to the family! ——— wait, what happened to his turtle? did it run away? ❜ 

     “Oh, Michael.” Lucille gives her son’s hand a (somewhat        awkward) pat as the guilt-tripping waterworks slow to a        stop. With a smile, she says, “I always knew there was a        reason I liked you better than Gob.”

     “—Does this mean you’ve changed your mind about the party?”

Absolutely not.

Five minutes later the door is open and she’s leaning against it in an entirely too attractive way for her oblivious self. “ I’m very disappointed in my country. ”

It’s a wonder he’s ever capable of functioning in her presence, what with her looking like THAT.

❛ DAD, how come we’ve never had any pets? i mean, i’d really like a dog. uncle buster has a turtle. ❜ 

TEXT MESSAGE: Definitely not-British // SENT: At this time I’d prefer tea, but……… TEXT MESSAGE: Definitely not-British // SENT: Bless your soul either way tbh