sour bottle baby girl

getting better i think

i know this isnt really a flex considering im almost 27 but ive gotten so damn good at regulating my emotions this year. i consume enough caffeine to kill a puppy but thats neither here nor there

i’ve thought about this for a long time now and the main thing that pushes me home is the fact that even if things improved for me here i would still want to go home. like even if i made more/better friends (really hard btw i live in a semirural area and people are for some reason generally bitter and negative), found another relationship (gag, plus i’ve had opportunities i turned down in favor of my one n only), got a better job (possible, but what’s the point without love in your life?) i would still yearn to return

when i was younger all i did was beg for everyone to leave me alone now after a straight year of nothing and nobody to come home to its like yeah this sucks actually

i cry real jesus tears at least once a day bc i would much rather be with my family and lover than here i genuinely cannot believe i moved here. Packed up all my shit and came here willingly. i must have been smoking crack

its crazy how at this time last year i was going through an awful breakup that made me realize a lot of harsh truths about myself and the way i view relationships and now its like oh love is possible again. i can love someone again like i used to. legitimately have not felt like this in years. ive had relationships in between yeah but this feels so different theres no stress or weird expectations. all the negativity is stuff ive placed on myself. and it has really contributed to me becoming a better person which was my main goal for 2025 after making everyones lives hell for the past like 5 years