niall horan

Maia pressed her hand to her forehead and widened her eyes. “I hadn’t thought about that!” Once he started rambling it was hard to keep up on a good day. With some liquor in her she was a goner. “I need an american translator for later on then, huh?” She nudged him playfully. “I wanted some cheese and crackers and some of those little chicken things people have.” Maia pointed out at another group and the snacks they had on their plates. “And more wine. Always more wine, you should know better than that Ni!” She’s put her empty glass down at some point and now didn’t have a clue where it was. Had she had lunch before the wedding she wouldn’t be such a tipsy mess right now. But the timezone and jetlag had messed her right up. “Oh god, I’m having the best time. Scotland is beautiful! The wedding was beautiful! I cried like a baby when they said their vows! I’ve been a mess all day. Did you have fun today?”

Niall knew that Maia had fallen victim to his awkward rambling before when he’d been a little embarrassed and tongue-tied, but his drunken rambling was a whole new species of nonsense. “We’ll find someone who knows the Irish accent later - maybe Saoirse herself can help us out if she’s not too drunk on her own,” he pointed out, expecting the bride to be having way too much fun to act as nonsense-translator but it was fun to imagine anyways. “Alright so chicken on crackers with some little cheese things,” he nodded, suddenly hungry at the mention of food. He leaned across the bartop, grabbing the attention of one of the guys and explaining what Maia was after, the thick Scottish accent coming in return before Niall turned back to Maia. “The snack stuff has been laid out on the other side, over there,” he gestured uselessly to the other side of the venue’s room over the heads of loads of other people. “So we’re gonna get our wine, then we can do over? It’s like - a buffet thing, I think,” he said, having not 100% caught that part of what the bartender was saying but that was more because of the noise around them than it was because of any miscommunication. “Yeah, it was lovely, they did a good job planning this one out. Weddings always are so infectiously happy but this one more than any other I’ve been to, I think,” he said, acting as casually as he could whilst he waited for their drinks to some through. “It was really good, yeah. Nice to be around the other lads, don’t get to see each other all that much and definitely not at the same time,” he explained. “And lovely to see you of course, lookin’ even more beautiful in person than you did on FaceTime,” he complimented a little shyly, thanking the man as he placed two glasses of wine in front of them. After the beer he’d had, Niall probably shouldn’t be mixing his drinks but fuck it.

“I need your help. The Scots have all started talking way too fast…. or maybe it’s that I’ve been drinking but either way I can’t understand a thing any of the bartenders or servers are saying. I’m just trying to get a snack and a drink!” Maia pouted at Niall about an hour into the reception. The party was absolutely stunning and the view of the lake as the sun started to go down really was something out of a fairytale. But Maia had a one track mind when it came to food and everyone knew not to let her get too hungry or else gremlin Maia came out. “Please be my translator and help me Nialler!” @niallhvrcn

“See, I’m gonna be talking a little too fast soon and then you’ll be askin’ people what I’m blabbing on about,” he teased, eased up already from the beer in his system and the all-round good mood of a wedding. “I can help you in the meantime, though. What snack are you thinking, and what drink can I get you?” He grinned in amusement at how people were struggling with the accents, amused at how he’d somehow managed to keep up despite how he hadn’t spent a whole lot of time around Scots in his time. “And even more importantly, are you having a good time?”

Maia nodded, agreeing that men in her life hadn’t done right by her. “I do deserve better than that and I want better than that. I want to matter to someone and feel like I’m something special in their life.” It was the first time she’d said the words out loud, she’d thought them but never really said them. “Niall you are incredible and you have so much to offer a woman. You’re so sweet and kind and funny! So so funny— My stomach would ache after we hung over before London. You’re the real deal and it kills me to think that you don’t see that are so afraid to mess it up that you hold yourself back.” Niall was perfect, she just wished her could see what she saw in him. “I wish you had. You’re not the only one who worries or who gets anxious. Let me tell you, I know I’m my own worst enemy and stress about things I don’t need to— but I think them out loud and share that worry so other people can help me work through it. “I wish I could have helped you work through it sooner.”

“I don’t know what I want— I’m trying to figure that out. I’m trying to forgive you both for disappearing— Though yours is far less extreme and easier to work through. I just— I don’t want to let anyone down. I don’t want anyone to get hurt… Including myself. I don’t know Niall— I don’t know what to do.” She sighed helplessly, genuinely unsure where to go from here. “I really care about you and I don’t want to lose you too.” Maia moved to pull her knees up to her chest, hugging them tightly. “Your mug isn’t ugly, don’t even start with me,” she chuckled softly. “Are you coming back to LA anytime soon? I think all of this might be easier to work through in person than over the phone.”

Niall was trying really hard at this point to make sure that Maia knew he was listening - understanding, hearing and respecting the way his actions made her feel and the way she was being so lovely almost made him feel worse as the disappointment he had with himself settled once more in the pit of his stomach. And now she was making him feel better? This wasn’t a surprise to Niall who’d come to be so enamoured with Maia’s caring and kind personality traits already, but it really did strike up a fondness within him that he’d wrestled with whilst they hadn’t been talking. “Reckon you’re onto something there, yeah. Don’t think anything can ever work with anyone if you’re not being yourself around ‘em. That’s the main ingredient isn’t it? Honesty,” he said softly, a small smile quirking in the corner of his lips before he looked down and tried to battle it down. Now wasn’t the time to get lost in the romance of everything he wanted to someday have. “I wish I could’ve been honest about how I was feeling too. Wish I’d of just picked up the phone and simply said ‘I’m a little paranoid that I’m calling too soon but I really want to hear your voice’ because.. that’s what I was feeling. And you deserved to know that then and not.. only now.”

Maia nodded slowly, glad they could agree on one thing at least. They couldn’t pretend it was okay. She could grin like the bashful girl she’d been in the stands the day she cheered for him and got butterflies at the mere thought of running to him after the game and rewarding him with a kiss for a game well played. In some ways she wasn’t that girl anymore. She’d been let down by him and someone like Maia, who’d been hurt a few too many times before, didn’t let those walls back down easily. “You didn’t need to be scared of me, you didn’t do anything wrong. The trip was perfect— I just missed you and wanted to talk to you,” she said softly, confused by his ramblings for the first time. “I’m glad you could write again, I guess.” For a boy who thought so much about her while they were apart he sure had a funny way of showing it. She wondered if this was a musician thing and would have to ask Dove if Luke did this sort of thing too. “That was never going to be the case Niall! I loved spending time with you. I had more fun with you in those few weeks than I’d had in a long time. It was exactly what I needed and I was looking forward to spending the rest of the summer with you.” She paused as she shook her head, trying to process it all. “But then you did what every other guy in my life does. You disappeared! You let me down and I don’t know what to do with that. How am I supposed to know that it’s going to be different from now on? I trusted you and you— you pushed me away because you were afraid of me and how I made you felt.” The frown on her face said more than her words ever could. Maia’s life was beyond complicated right now and she wished there was some clarity to it. It felt like she was just moving through clouds of pain and reconciliation every where she went these days.

“Noah’s back,” she said plainly, not wanting to keep any secrets from him. He’d opened up to her and she owed it to him to do the same. “I don’t really know what his end game is here. And I don’t really know where my heads at in any of this either. You both show up with in days of each other trying to make things right and I’m trying my best to forgive and let things go but I’m overwhelmed and guarded and I don’t know how to give you both what you want.—— Hell I don’t even know what I want.” She signed and ran her hand through her hair. “I’m sure this isn’t how you saw this call going though. I’m sorry it’s all such a mess.”

Niall nodded as she spoke, because it all made sense. Anyone with half a braincell could agree that Maia was right, and it made Niall even more frustrated that he’d gotten in his own head the way that he had and, on top of that, it made everything more inexcusable. Communication was the base level of everything, and he hadn’t even managed to reach that milestone over the past month. “Every guy in your life disappearing is- it’s bullshit, Maia, you deserve better than that and I hate that I am a part of that. Fuckin’ hate it,” he said softly. “I never even got that far. Always movin’ too quickly with someone so it fucks up, moving too slowly so they move on. I think I just panicked because I was so desperate not to mess it up. And that made me mess it up more, God, I’m such an idiot,” he shook his head. “But none of that is excuses, y’know? I know it’s not. I should’ve not used me brain and just messaged you because I wanted to, called because I wanted to, and so on. Bloody idiot,” he muttered the last bit to himself, hating how every step to them getting to this place was orchestrated by him, and hating even more what a huge contrast this was to how amazing everything had been when they’d been in England together.