faggot with a crossbow

the worst thing about waiting for missing link is that it could appear at literally any time. no safety net of company announcements or e3 or game shows. it could be tomorrow at 4am. it could be october

i think a lot of you or rlly all of you should stop using war criminal as a “cutsie” self descriptor and like. google what that means, especially if ur american

like genuinely y do u as a white american even feel comfortable giving urself a username like “nonbinarywarcriminal” do you know what war crimes american soldiers do to the global south specifically to the women and children there? maybe we should be informed on that, maybe we should do some required reading

oh well i guess ill just be fat and hot

one thing you need to know about 2014. is that what does the fox say was playing pretty much everywhere you went. and everybody was just relieved it wasn't blurred lines

I canot stress enough that those were the only 2 songs in 2014

hey guysss so unfortunately the rumors are true and im leaving the narrative. Buttt the good news is my absence will create such a gaping hole in your lives that it will become a sort of presence itself, and so in a way it will kind of be like i never left! But i am. Leaving just to be clear.

One, two, three, four, and even five, and even six.

five is odd actually me thinks

I haven’t learned that yet

Please give me time

the classic Finnish mix of extreme dutifulness and “we will make actual conversation after a silent interaction trial period of 6 weeks, thank you” can be really funny sometimes. told my coworker that I’d like to save the coffee grounds the workplace generated and take them home “for my mushrooms and worms” and she was just like “okei” and dutifully saved every single grounds-filled filter for weeks and weeks. about five weeks into this whole thing, after I thank her for the coffee grounds and tell her my worms must love them because they’re breeding very enthusiastically, she finally asks “so your worms… do they have a purpose or are they just… worms”. like sure I’ll save you all these coffee grounds every single time I drink coffee, 3+ times a day, but god forbid I inquire about your specific worm habits before propriety allows it. you could be eating them for breakfast for all I know but that’s your business

this post has been up for so long I’m at a new workplace now, and here’s a new one: someone finally getting a close enough look at the jar of homemade nut butter I’d been using to make snacks for days (in a reused jar, still with the pesto label on it), realising the contents were not as advertised, and saying with poorly concealed relief “ai!!! you weren’t spreading pesto on bananas!” like she’d been quietly dying inside the whole time but had grimly committed herself to never ever presuming to ask wtf was going on

#i’m not gonna lie i feel like a lot of people online could do with a dose of this type of finnishness #y'know. the ‘i have no idea what you’re doing and it seems really weird but it’s not my business to pry and also you do you’ attitude

everyday I think “I cannot live like this” and then I continue to live like this

it would suck being a new immortal. like it’d be 2109 and people would go, “what was it like seeing ancient civilizations rise and fall like that? seeing the pyramids being built? watching the expansion and growth of the new world?” and i’d just be like, “no…no i was born in 1991. so like, wow i’m gonna see some cool stuff, but, i mean i’m not that much older than just a really, really old person, you know? phones were big back then. so big. but only for like ten years, then they got like, as good as they are now. uh. rhinos existed. don’t think i ever saw one in person. cool, good talk.”

even worse, imagine being an immortal who keeps missing stuff. “What was it like seeing the pyramids being built?” “Fuck if I know, I was in Madagascar.” “Oh, okay. Well, how was the Renaissance?” “I fell down a hole in Scotland and people thought I was an enchanted well for four hundred years, it was over by the time I convinced someone to get me out.”

It’s been a decade since we left that comment and you have the best reply anyone’s left to it.

not having a beverage can kill you. you can’t live on water alone that’s insane

can someone pour a beverage into an envelope and send it to my house

wait didn't one guy survive overseas on like rain water only for abt a year or smth??

no i think he probably had like a lemonade or soda or smth

that ai answer fails to mention that he most likely had the occasional iced coffee or some sort of soft drink

Racism against Indians is actually a little insane when you consider how widespread it is even among liberals and leftists . Even people who consider themselves to be progressive will laugh at call center or tech support jokes. All scammers are inherently indian. It’s okay to laugh at jokes making fun of Indians for their feelings towards animals or how they drive. India is inherently backwards and dirty so it’s okay to make jokes about getting food poisoning from even looking at indian food

hello average dsmp fan. i'd like to play a game. try to refer to cwilbur without using the words "crazy" or "insane" in a negative light. if you cannot i am subjecting you to a month in the life of someone with his exact cocktail of mental issues

i tried explaining to this girl at a party once how i could be gay and asexual at the same time and it basically boils down to never being into anyone but like once a year i’ll find a man attractive. and she was like “so what am i if i only like girls, and i’ve never found any of my boyfriends attractive and and i just wanna do cocaine all the time?” i was like “you’re a lesbian with a coke addiction?” and she was like “woooooah”. she broke up with her boyfriend that night and had a threesome with two girls in the bathtub. rebecca if you’re out there, i hope you’re going places. well, not far, since you’re electronically tagged. but spiritually.

unmute for the unfathomable sounds of mankind being shamed