How you doin'

It's been a while - who's still active? Feel like I might be logging into the cyber equivalent of a nuclear waste-ground. Say it ain't so.

She’s so grown up now and all I can picture is the cute little baby with the crazy Afro who used to come and snuggle with me to watch TV and who I taught how to make snow angels in the back garden.

I've had a lot of each the last few years but I'm blessed because whilst I've been hurt and changed and seen a lot of the ugly that the world has to offer, I've also seen the beautiful and that comes through every time. Sometimes we get hurt by people we know will hurt us and sometimes it's people we don't expect, every time there's people who love you who pick you up and help you get stronger. I'm glad I've been through the shot that I have because I've grown and it's taught me how to look after myself and how to see through people's bullshit even when it's unpleasant, it's so taught me how to appreciate and it's taught me how to love and be happy 💕

Feelings this evening. These shouldn't even need to be created. Why are some people so shitty. Why do some people who I wouldn't class as inherently shitty deem it appropriate to make rape jokes or trivialise rape. It's so cunty and then his apology, when I called him out on his bullshit, consisted of "Sorry I crossed a line 😔 I forgot you couldn't take extreme banter 😈." How about go fuck yourself, rape jokes aren't funny, they're not banter, they're painful and damaging. Rape jokes trivialise a sensitive topic and give dangerous fuckheads the idea it's okay and that they won't be judged and sadly too many cases of victim shaming and lenient sentencing also go to prove that. His fucking stupid "extreme banter" has now started me off an a pissed off tangent 😡

I wish people in the past would just stay in the past, reminding me they exist just to make themselves feel better is not fair... Partly my fault for allowing them to do it though 💔