The World Should Work My Way, Jeff's Blog

Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo,

I’ve got a tanning pro-tip for you.

Oompa Loompa, do-ba-da-dee,

If you are wise you’ll listen to me.

Having a tan means you’ve been in the sun,

Not in a room with some paint and a gun.

Why pay a fee when the sun’s light is free?

Look in a mirror. Can’t you see?

You look like a traffic cone.

Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-da,

Stop with the skin-paint, orange retard.

Or you will draw comparisons to

Today I'm 17 years old. Do you know what that means? It means that my mother pushed me out of her vagina 17 trips-around-the-sun ago on this day and we celebrate it each year. Do you know what it means in a more conventional sense? It means that I can now legally go to R rated movies, and get M rated games without an adult present. Do you know what it means to me? A few things, it means I get an excuse to do fun things with my best friends at my parents expense and it means that I'm one year away from being a legal adult. Joy. At least I still have one more year before then. Though, all in all, birthdays are fun! I get extra attention, presents, and a lot of fun with people I hold dear to myself.