Halfway to Halloween
May 1st.
183 days.
I know because I counted. I count every year, on this day, with my good coffee and my good pen and my planning calendar (the one I made myself, because the ones in stores are insufficient.)
Sit down. We have work to do.
The Beltane Inventory
Traditionally, May 1st is Beltane — the Celtic festival that sits in perfect astronomical opposition to Samhain, which you may know by its more common name: Halloween. The ancient Celts understood that the veil between worlds grows thin twice a year. I understand that six months is barely enough time if you want the tablescape to be correct.
This morning, before anyone else in my household was awake, I conducted the Beltane Inventory. This involves:
Auditing the Halloween bins (there are seven; this is not excessive)
Noting which artificial spider webs have gone "wispy" (they go wispy; you have to replace them)
Cross-referencing my costume sketch from last November against current fabric availability
Updating the checklist
The Scent of Halloween
You need to know something about Halloween candles: most of them are wrong. The scent profiles are wrong. "Pumpkin Spice" is a capitulation. "Haunted Hayride" smells like a Bath & Body Works boardroom decision.
What you want — no! What I want, and what I have sourced — is something that smells like cold stone, like a dark forest after rain, like someonething was recently extinguished in this room. I have been conditioning my home toward this scent since March. By October, it will simply smell like October in here. My guests will not know why they feel slightly uneasy. This is hospitality.
The Costume Situation
I have had my Halloween costume concept since November 2nd of last year. I wrote it down before I went to sleep that night, which is when the best ideas arrive.
I will not be sharing the concept here because someone will steal it. Not you, specifically. But someone.
What I will share is that I have already:
Sourced the fabric (a wool crepe in a color that does not have an official name; I have been calling it "Regret")
Contacted two separate milliners
Aged a pair of gloves using tea and a disturbing amount of patience
Begun "living with" the silhouette, which means I have a dress form in my living room wearing an approximation of the look so I can observe it at different times of day and in different lighting conditions
My partner has not commented on the dress form. We have been together long enough.
A Note on Candy
I will not be caught under-prepared on candy. I will not be the house that runs out at 7:45pm and starts offering knick-knacks from the junk drawer. I have a purchasing schedule. The first bulk order goes in on September 1st. There is a secondary order in early October for variety and psychological comfort. And there is a private reserve that is not for trick-or-treaters.
It is for me.
It is for the night of, when the last child has gone home, and I sit in my good chair, in my costume, in my correctly-scented home, and I eat exactly three pieces of the good candy and feel the particular satisfaction of someone who planned correctly.
What You Should Be Doing Right Now
You have 183 days. That sounds generous. It is not generous. That is:
~26 weekends, several of which will be ruined by prior commitments
One (1) period of back-to-school chaos that will steal at least three of those weekends entirely
One (1) unexpected life event (budget for this; it always happens)
Approximately 11 weekends of genuine, usable Halloween planning time
Eleven weekends.
I suggest you begin today. I suggest you begin now, actually, before you finish reading this, because I have already begun and the gap between us is widening.
...
Constance Ashwick is a writer who holds strong opinions about candle scent profiles. She has attended every Halloween since 1986 and considers four of them successful. Her tablescape has been described as "a lot" by people who are no longer invited. Her checklist can be seen here.
