A bitter sweet chuckle leaves Danny’s lips, “Look- I’m always fine, don’t worry about me.” If he tells himself that enough, then maybe it might be true.
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A bitter sweet chuckle leaves Danny’s lips, “Look- I’m always fine, don’t worry about me.” If he tells himself that enough, then maybe it might be true.

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London Spy: a Summary [insp]

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missedbecominghistoric:
“Yeah, and then you’ll say that for the next 50 meals and end up starving yourself.” Charlie replied. “I’ve been through this with Jamie, remember? I know how it works.”
A hand rubbed at his face, as he drew his legs up onto the chair, heels pressed against the edge, “I know I’m supposed to look after myself, I get that, it’s just it’s-” the anniversary of Alex’s death, and the events that followed, “a bad time right now.” Chin resting on his knees, he sighs, lips pulling into an odd grimace, “I remember.”
hurt meme.
“ i got you. it’s gonna be okay, you’re going to be okay.”
“i feel like everyone’s miles away from me.”
“my mind is a dark place. you don’t want to be there.”
“i know this hurts, but you have to stay awake.”
“don’t close your eyes, please don’t close your eyes!”
“i just want to be numb, i don’t want to feel anything.”
“please don’t do this, don’t act like you care.”
“you don’t care, nobody cares, just leave.”
“you’re my friend, of course i fucking care.”
“i can’t give up on you, so please don’t give up on yourself.”
“i love you so much, i forgot what hating myself felt like.”
“i fucked up, why do you not care?”
“i can’t walk, just go on without me.”
“you have broken ribs, take it easy.”
“i have no idea how to do cpr.”
“whose blood is that?”
“apply pressure to the wound, don’t let go.”
“don’t you dare fucking let go!”
“what the hell happened to you?”
“are they dead? did you kill them?”
“do you know what you’ve done?”
“you’re either with me or against me.”
“who the hell did this to you?”
“are you alright? you hit your head pretty hard…”
“i can’t see!! what’s happening to me?”
“when was the last time you ate?”
“what do you mean you’re fine? you are not fine!”
“i’m fine, it’s just a flesh wound, i’ll be okay.”
“for how long? how long were you bottling this up?“
“there’s so much blood, you won’t last.”
“are you… throwing up in there?”
“why aren’t you eating?”
“just breathe… you’re okay, i promise, just breathe.”
“i can’t breathe, i can’t –”
“i woke up, & you were gone.”
“just tell me something, was it really worth it?”
“it’s okay to hurt & breakdown. you don’t have to be strong all the time.”
missedbecominghistoric:
Charlie quickly pushed the plate back. “Tough, you’re going to have that whether you like it or not.”
“I’m really not hungry.” The brunet says, hands slipping off the table to rest on his lap, light eyes finding the tables edge, “Missing one more meal won’t matter, will it? I’ll eat later.” But will he?
Danny eyes the breakfast placed in front of him, and pushes the plate with one decisive movement “I’m not hungry.”

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“I might not be a genius or anything like that, but don’t for a moment think me stupid. I know when something’s up.” He’s more intuitive than people gave him credit for.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, I look nothing like him.” He says, fingers toying with the edge of the photo of a man who could utterly pass as Danny’s twin. “Must be pretty important if you’re looking for him though.” That’s another reason Danny knows it isn’t him. Danny’s not important like that. No one would miss a warehouse worker.
Are you okay?
Danny Holt + smoking

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“Wow, that’s helpful. Thanks.” He laughed softly and leaned against the older man. “Yeah that’s true. I remember when I was a prostitute most of my money went on this shit.”
“I do try, and you knew what you were getting into,” Danny says, laughing with the other male, and he wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer when Charlie brings up his past, Danny;s reminded of his own less than stellar past, but he tries not to dwell on it. “Most of my wages still do go on these death sticks, but screw trying to quit.”
Alex gazed up at Danny, feeling his weight pressed against him. He liked having his boyfriend close to him like this. Their legs entangled, Dannys hand on his chest. There was a sense of physical affection and closeness he had spent most of his life never knowing. He was momentarily surprised by his words. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Alex waited for a sense of blind panic that never came. He realised he felt a warmth within him that quickly spread as the words and their meaning sunk in. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you too.” The words tumbled out before Alex couldn’t really think and analyse them. He realised instantly that they were true.
For all Danny knows he might have been a cat in a past life, for the way he purrs and nuzzles his head against Alex’s chest. He wants to spoil his boyfriend with affectionate touches and intimate moments, giving them both the love they’d been deprived of. “You do?” Danny asks, surprise hitching his pitch a couple octaves, then he smiled, “Good, because I love you.” He loves his genius boyfriend, who’s probably far too smart for him, but has chosen to stay with Danny anyway, and Danny couldn’t be more pleased. There’s a small smile on Danny’s lips, perfectly content in that moment, and he didn’t think anything could knock that smile off of his face.
“Pavel and Sara want to do a dinner soon? All four of us if you want to come?” He asks, wanting his boyfriend to involved in all parts of his life.