Nevask

I really hate this time of year, and it's starting to get really bad for me. This year it started in mid October, when it usually starts early november. It literally makes me sick when i see random happy couples, random family (not mine), people out with their friends, just having an amazingly great time. I don't have that, i don't have an SO, i don't really have much family, i don't have friends i can see on a regular basis, its just me and my 2 dogs. This year has really fed my holiday depression something fierce. I’ll randomly start crying at work, which ive luckily been able to hide, ive been having even worse anxiety attacks than usually before work, and other TMI depression/anxiety fun. To top it all off i woke up this morning in tears because of a dream i had about my last ex. This day is just great, fucking great, i love depression, i love anxiety, and they love me more. I just want to stay in this tiny room and not come out until it's March, so i can finally have a few months of less depression.