river

It didn't kill me, but I'm constantly on edge and so vigilant it's hard to enjoy anything.

It didn't kill me, but I tense up whenever somebody yells

It didn't kill me, but whenever I make the smallest mistake I feel like I'm going to get punished.

It didn't kill me, but my anxiety has seeped throughout my entire body and now mentally and physically harms me.

It didn't kill me, but my self esteem and confidence is concerningly low.

It didn't kill me, but I still have bruises on my heart and body.

It didn't kill me, but I detached to protect myself and now can't come back.

It didn't kill me, but I genuinely believe everyone is out to get me

It didn't kill me, but I think I need to be of service to everyone or they'll despise me.

It didn't kill me, but the thought of arguments makes my stomach curl.

It's now less than a month before I go back to school, and I've had estimated 16 panic attacks along of getting hardly anything done. All I've been doing is swimming, writing nonsense I end up hating, cutting people off, and distancing myself from the outside world.