nerdyornothing

I've been reading several other peoples reviews on Star Wars Inqusitor: Rise of the Red Blade, and I can definitely say there are certain points that I had a very different perspective of then some of them. As a bit of background on me, I am a queer neurodivergent person who grew up in a cult (christian fundamentalist type), so hopefully that explains some things. I can empathize with Iskat's anger, and I have an intimate knowledge of how hard it is when you feel like you're inherently broken and no one seems to care. I felt rage when she admitted this to the Jedi master and his reply was essentially you're not broken; you just need to try harder. I have been the child who hid and broke off pieces of themselves to fit in a mold that they were never meant to. The Jedi Order was messed up they tried to create black and white in a world of greys, and Iskat's story shows how it did damage. They weren't as bad as the sith, but they weren't good either. Both systems are inherently flawed. This book did a wonderful job of highlighting that. I wish Iskat could have found healing in the end or at least moved past the anger stage of grief, but that wasn't meant to be. I would love another book on Tualon and his journey from Jedi to Inqusitor as a companion. One final thing I'd like to highlight is that Iskat endured emotional neglect(at the least) and dealt with many of the same situations that cult members do, especially since she was indoctrinated from childhood keeping this in mind. It has been proven that abuse survivors (religious,emotional,domestic, etc.) will often seek out similar situations because they are familiar and "comfortable." (I am saying this as an abuse survivor) so her switch to the dark side makes sense on that level as well. She is a terrible person who enjoys being cruel and shows what can happen if you use trauma as a free pass to hurt others. Sorry for the long post. (No one's going to read this, so why am I apologizing?(probably trauma response(should I text my therapist..... probably)))

I identity as agender because last time I checked a being of pure chaos doesn't need a gender

I have gone 0 days without having the realization that I am in fact not straight.

I feel like 2020 keeps trying to one up itself to see just how shitty it can be

I have 4 moods F*ck me, F*ck you, F*ck it and WTF

So I just finished the Star Wars book the Dark Disciple and I don't know how to process all the emotions it has created

Random thing that I think is interesting, I have this memory of when I was little going to this party with my extended family(we live hundreds if not thousands of miles apart), but after I realized my sister didn’t remember it at all I assumed it was something my brain just made up till randomly one time my Mom talked about having a party with my extended family when we went down to Missouri for my Great Grandpa’ s funeral. And I was kinda shocked because at this point I was fully convinced it had never happened even though I had some very detailed memories of the event. So that’s something interesting about me.

Does anyone else go through style moods where one day you just want to wear a t-shirt and jeans and the next you want to go for a more tough, goth, sassy sidekick kinda look?  

Do any other third shifters want to vacuum at 3am because you're bored but can't because unlike most people you don't want to be loud when people are sleeping? #thirdshiftproblems

Writing: the only legal occupation where you consider the most emotionally scarring way to kill someone. #Writing # I'mawriter

I'm not a big Taylor Swift fan but I'm a writer, which means I realize that when you are emotional it helps to write it down. Breakups are very emotional periods and Taylor is a writer so it's natural for her to write songs about it. That's it .#Taylor Swift