Mess™

The pregnant evil queen smirks as she places a hand on her swollen belly. "Now hero, you won't kill the mother of your own child, will you?" "Lady, I am female, infertile, and never had sex before, so that lie is not going to work on me."

honestly more media should portray the anti aging industry as horrific and decidedly unhuman. it IS body horror it IS grotesque it DOES go against nature. it WILL kill you. yes.

please god don’t let jkr touch the marauders era EVER and leave it exclusively to ao3 authors amen

Happy July 1st

i like that he’s holding a foil for effect

this gets funnier every year 

The year is 2042. Your daughter is awkwardly silent as she eats her dinner. “Something wrong sweetie?” She sighs and puts down her fork. “I was digging really deep in AO3 last night…Why didn’t you finish that coffee shop au?” It happened. Your past has come back to haunt you. Nay, it never truly left.

U CANNOT OUTRUN UR CRIME

OKAY BUT WAIT. This has happened to me. Recently. Because I am old and I have things out there from previous fandoms with previous pseuds and one day my teenager begins a rant at me about people never finishing any WIPs on the pit of voles (which he does not call the pit of voles because he has No Knowledge of such a thing but yet he still reads on which I didn’t think anyone did any longer) and he points out an example to me of something I WROTE AND LEFT WIPing for ages and he has NO IDEA #1 that his mom wrote this and #2 How much it still haunts me to this day that it will. sit. there. for. eternity. because I am too lazy to pull it down.

oh my god

Every year, this becomes both more funny, and more painful, and for both of those reasons, it should never be lost or forgotten.

babygirl you look like an absolute angel tonight (there is a streetlight behind you and i have astigmatism)