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I miss my dog so much. I had my first dream about him last night since he died. I have so many regrets about him, about things i couldve done differently. My heart has been hurting so bad

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I miss my dog so much. I had my first dream about him last night since he died. I have so many regrets about him, about things i couldve done differently. My heart has been hurting so bad

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top 5 horror movies
-having a job
-not having a job
-applying for jobs
-the job market
-the concept of working my whole life
Tw animal death
Im pre grieving
Im grateful that his condition is relatively painless but i hate to see him like this. I knew it was going to happy but not this soon. I am also grateful that he had a long, good life and was spoiled and loved. And that i am warned about him dying soon; not everyone is lucky to know that
But it hurts. It hurts that one day, he is not going to be here. I wont be able to cuddle with him anymore
I think you should be able to afford to live on your own and completely independently off minimum wage.
I think you should be able to afford to live on your own and completely independently off disability, welfare, unemployment, etc tbh

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when I say "you should kill him" and people look at me weird
Tw animal illness
My dog got diagnosed with cancer. Lymphoma
Im not sure what tto do
My Name is 8 PM. and I am always arriving when you atrent Looking

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japanese game dev in the 90s: hey dude can you make some music for our game about anime girls getting fucked sloppy style
guy who's about to push the PC-98 sound card to its absolute limit and create the most heartachingly beautiful music you've ever heard: Yeah okay
Look, I know it's funny to say the PC-98 eroge had a stellar soundtrack for 'just an eroge'. But that is extremely dismissive of what YU-NO is and how it shaped the landscape of future releases in the era. Like we're talking about a game with time travel that lets you set down checkpoints in time, so you can collect items across multiple timelines and solve a series of mysteries. It's a story so long and complicated, it had been in Kanno's mind and developing for over a decade. It's a story that doesn't even properly work as a show or movie, it has to be a game. This title was extremely influential to how the sci-fi genre evolved in the adventure game medium of this era in japan. Titles like Steins;Gate wouldn't exist in nearly the same fashion, KEY works would be entirely different, other adventure game producing companies started trying to push themselves to match YU-NO's high production values. I'm sorry but you can be funny without being dismissive of something that had a huge cultural impact on a medium of storytelling.
the composer Ryu Umemoto left his well-paying job scoring licensed games at FamilySoft to work in the pc-98 eroge scene because of the creative freedom it allowed him. he and the writer Hiroyuki Kanno worked together on several ambitious games for various small erotic games companies. there's a great obituary that talks about his life, here: click.
hey so ummm. i' m going to try and keep this brief but basically! my deeply abusive mother has gone completely and utterly off the deep end and is (supposedly) abandoning me to fuck of to brazil to stay with her "husband" (who again. she's known for less than a year. has only dated for 4 months before marrying. who neither of them speak the same language as and need to use google translate to communicate. who has been deported out of the country after being arrested for felony trespassing at our old apartment when he was supposed to be at work 6 hours away. and who is My Fucking Age.) full time, only traveling back here so she can stay a USA citizen and continue to collect her SSDI while essentially forcing me to either pay the full ~1.7k (amenities included in this price) rent alone (i have no income. i am severely disabled and cannot currently work but do not currently qualify for SSI either though once Again i am working on this...) or end up homeless by the end of may.
she is refusing to help me get to any of my medical appointments (i cannot drive due to said conditions) in the meantime or even speak to me anymore (she is insane) and i am now currently attempting to swap out any medical appointments i can to go through either telehealth or a transportation service (i need to call my insurance. i am so tired.)
she has triangulated the entire family against me because once again, she Is abusive and none of them are willing to rock the boat with her or help me either, to the point where my aunts only offers have been to demand that i get a job (i tried this. the government literally deemed me unfit to work.) do inpatient or outpatient (this is not helpful. what i need is a permanent way OUT of this situation.) or look into homeless shelters (lol.) my uncle said in no short words that he "does not believe me and is not interested in supporting me because we have no family bond" (okay man) and my brother has gone so far as to actively lie to our (formerly) mutual friends telling them i have "more money than him and my mom combined" (???) and that i am "misrepresenting his mother and his relationship" by calling her abusive (????????)
so um. needless to say at this point that even IF she's bluffing (unlikely given how often she's been talking about this imo) then it's still clearly not safe for me to continue to stay here and keep putting myself at risk, especially since she has escalated to physical aggression within the last year. (her "husband" has done similar and has a noted temper as well. even if she only plans a temporary visit i find it extremely unlikely that he's going to "let" her come back to the states once she's there.)
i do have a plan still, though i am working out the kinks and have a LOT of phone calls to make and individuals to contact and i'm kind of fucking exhausted so i don't want to get into it right now. that said, i would Very Much Appreciate It if i could get some further help.
once again you can find my paypal link here, please do not feel obligated to donate anything if you cannot afford it. i know shit is fucking Bad for everyone right now, and i do not want anyone to feel pressured but i do very much have a strict time limit now and need to get my own act together. thank you (i am so fucking tired)
so uhhhh. she's dropped the Bombshell that she will be leaving this wednesday (may 13th) for 6 weeks, and that at the end of may/start of june i'm going to be expected to pay rent, again. with money i do not have + i already told her no on this insane plan several months ago.
i'm going to be contacting as many resources as i possibly can still but anything helps.
i love having friends who can communicate like adults it's so cool
imagine being like "hey this made me feel bad" and they're like "oh sorry i'll try to be better about that" and that's all it is

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the thing about being "good with kids" is all it takes is literally just not trying to control and mould them with every interaction. it's just being a normal person and engaging with them through normal interactions like having conversations and playing games. it's just being genuine and friendly and not perceiving them as lumps of wet clay you are there to shape. "oh you're so good with kids" thanks it's because I think they are people