neontrickery

Reuniclus -- 10/10

I give Reuniclus a 10/10, not because it's my all-time favorite guy or anything (it probably isn't in my top 10 or even 20, on account of how many Pokemon there are), but because its design is perfect. I wouldn't change a single goddamn thing. I love it so much.

Pros:

cute creature

weird guy

huggable!!!!!!!!

unique design inspiration

blobby body

greem

Major Appearance in Universally Praised Wii Game, Pokepark 2: Wonders Beyond

Cons:

hard to pose dynamically and draw in general

The demons (pokemon center dot com) have been whispering incessant evils (promotional emails I signed up for) into my ear and the only way I could resist temptation (to buy a 40 dollar sparkly fabric lumineon plush) was to try to capture some meager fraction of the heavenly seductress' beauty on the physical page.

Unfezant -- 6/10

My initial instinct is to defend Unfezant from its detractors. It's not just a bird. It's a fancy bird! It's sexually dimorphic, and it's based on some visually interesting groups (pheasants are quite diverse and gorgeous!).

On the other hand, I totally understand where people are coming from. It is another normal/flying regional bird with no other gimmick or strength, and as such, is not really notable in any way. I get finding it forgettable or uninteresting, especially if you haven't played gen 5, or just aren't nostalgic for it.

Personally, I like Unfezant fine ┐(´∀｀)┌ It looks nice, in an understated way. I appreciate having it around in newer games whenever it shows up. To me it's like, Pidgeot with seasonings. I'm probably never gonna use it myself outside of Unova, but I like seeing something different flying around.

I desperately need at least one of the Ponyta* or Blitzle lines in every game. Horses are gone again for an unlimited time. I miss them so severely.

Dottler -- 3/10

Everyone who jokes about how Maractus is forgettable pokemon... when's the last time you had a single thought about Dottler? I haven't, not since attempting to complete the SwSh dex, circa 2019. I think she's ugly, I think she's weird, I think she looks like a Mario 3D World enemy, probably skuttling around the desert. I think she looks like a creep and a pervert. Absolutely shocking that Trumbeak's bulbapedia is less visited than this thing (citation: my vague memory of a youtube video)

However ☝️ a redeeming quality is that her color palette, pattern, and shape language could be translated to really epic high fashion, or just super tacky thriftwear (compliment). I can see it now, a hexagonal hoop skirt with polka dots. Literally... Iconic. In that way, she reminds me of Yayoi Kusama. I bet any gijinka design for this thing absolutely fucks.

despite my harshness, I do genuinely appreciate her weirdness. being ugly and weird will always be better than being boringly appealing. i try to live by this axiom everyday. skuttle on, dottler, skuttle on...

ARE THERE ANY DOTTLER FANS OUT THERE?? drop a #reblong and #reply if you're a #dottlehead

Grubbin -- 5/10

Corviknight -- 8/10

Corviknight is actually so cool, I think that it shouldn't have been on the first route. Hell, it should have been a late-game single-stage pokemon with a 1% encounter rate, it could have invented a new trope called the "skarm clone" (which would be to skarmory as a pika clone is to pikachu) and I would support it in that endeavor. It is a 7 foot tall corvid in black knight's armor. Wtf?? Hello?? Are things allowed to be that cool?? That being said, it is a huge pain to draw <3

I can't give it higher than an 8/10, though, because (as unfair as it is) before being accepted into my upper echelon of faves, newer pokemon usually have to exist for several generations to prove their staying power. Unless they're absolute INSTANT SLAM DUNKS like FARIGIRAF 🦒🦒🦒🦒🦒🦒🦒🦒

Krabby -- 4/10

I recently came into possession of crayons for the first time uhh, since elementary school, actually. They're fun. I like how using cheap supplies takes the pressure off of trying to make it look perfect and not "waste" them on a piece you end up not caring for. Maybe that's just a me thing, though.

(in the voice of someone who likes all their current villagers but wants Julian more than anything) i need to kick him out of town

I've had this idea bouncing around in my skull like an intrusive thought for about a year now and i finally got around to materializing it ^^

if it wasn't obvious already, i have no idea how chess works NOR am i interested!!!

for all of you MARIO KART WII NERDS out there, there is a non-canon detail in this image. can you spot it?

While it is a fact that 99% of all pokemon ever to exist would be able to easily kick my ass and eat me for dinner if they so chose, there are a handful that I find more intimidating, and dare I say scarier, than the average pocket monster. Electivire is one of these scary pokemon.

I think it has something to do with his battle in Pokepark 1. He was just so big compared to a Pikachu, and your best attack didn't really do shit to him bc you're both electric types. It was very difficult for young me to overcome his ruthless onslaught of repeatedly murdering me.

Overall, he just seems like someone you definitely wouldn't want to mess with. Lest you get thunder punched and all. It would be cute if he was just a misunderstood gentle giant though.

He may scare me, but he's also very cool. Another win for Gen 4!

I have a shiny one in Legends Arceus named Male2Male because of the forbidden murder cord and also the fact that he's a homosexual. Below is the only known screenshot of him (no I don't remember why I was bullying him)

Rattata, the original early route rodent, is simultaneously both unremarkable and iconic as a pokemon design. Many have caught it, but how many of them boxed it before the mid-game, or used it only for HMs?

The most famous Rattata, Joey's Rattata, is in the top percentile of Rattatas. His name is Rattata, and he is level 3. Consider what this says about Rattata.

Rattata invented the F.E.A.R. strategy in 2006 when she killed a Mewtwo immediately after being born. What does this say about Rattata?

Here is something that may surprise you: the Venonat Sitting Cuties plush has more than twice the reviews on the Pokemon Center website than Rattata (18 vs 6 respectively, as of writing this). Now, I love Venonat, but doesn't that feel wrong?