Heres the problem, and I speak this as an 'immigrant' in the US which is undoubtedly a hundred times better due to certain circumstances.
Theres a reason 'immigrant' is in quotes. Because I came here when I was 8, I simply consider myself American. From an early age in school, I have been constantly told that America is a melting pot of cultures, that we are a land of immigrants, etc. etc. The area I lived in around the suburbs of a major metropolitan city, everyone was from a different place; even the white kids were from Australia, South Africa, Germany, or if they native-born, they'd talk about their great-great grandparents from Ireland, Poland, or whatever.
So for the most part, I never felt like I was not American. I can easily switch between my parents' language and English, I do all the traditional stuff that my parents do at home, while at school I'm a regularly suburban kid that plays too much PS3 and smokes weed.
Then I went to college in the south. Suddenly I go from a area where everyone is proud of their 'heritage' - either themselves/their parent's native land if they are first generation, or Ireland/England/Germany/Italy if they have been here for a while - to a place where everyone wants to be as 'American' as possible - and unfortunately this really means as 'white' as possible. So you have this majorly white school where the Asians, Indians, Hispanics, Blacks realize that they stand out quite a bit. So they go two routes - they try to either become as 'white' as possible, and this helps if they actually look caucasian/have lighter skin, or they go towards the other route and move towards their parents' culture. The latter is more likely to happen if they feel very insecure about their race (how dark their skin is, or how chinky their eyes look, etc.)
This is never a problem for the parent immigrant because they are always going to have this anchor in their native country. In their new country, the parents don't feel like those dirty 'immigrants' or minorities that Donald Trump rants about, they feel like emigrants from the country of their origin. They aren't American immigrants, they are Arab emigrants. They are always going to have that strong connection to their home country and they don't particularly care if the people of their adopted country adopt them into that culture; they have a culture of their own.
The children of immigrants, those who are born here or came here at a young age; they don't have this connection to the country of their parent's origin, and rightfully so; they feel like they are the citizens of America, not Armenia or Poland or Syria or India. But in a way, they are treated the same way as their parents are treated before them; treated as job-stealing immigrants or violent minorities, sometimes looked as inferior in the eyes of the 'natives' (majority) population. So while the immigrant ('emigrant') parents may look back at their anchor in their home country when they face bigotry, their kids (who came to the country through no choice of their own) can't.
Furthermore, the immigrant parents want to continue teaching their kids about their native culture; they want them to have this sort of connection to their native country. They do it out of good intentions, because they want to share this culture with their kids, they don't want their kids to become completely assimilated 'natives' (the same natives that so often tend to sneer at the parent's skin color or accent), they want some connection with their kids. Unfortunately, this just tends to confuse the kids more and makes them feel like even bigger outcasts, because while all the other kids of celebrating Christmas and Thanksgiving, they are celebrating Eid or Ramadan or Diwali or whatever, and if the kids of immigrants already feel a rift between themselves and the other kids at school, it may make the rift even bigger.
If someone asks me where I'm from, I say the city I'm from. If they ask where I'm "really from from" I say my parent's native country; and then I ask them the same question, where they are "really from from" 'cause clearly they aren't Native American.
Now can you try this in France? In France there is a clear distinction between who is really "French" and who is not. In reality, this distinction itself has been due to centuries and centuries of cultural assimilation between three major groups of people - Celtic, Latin and Germanic (Franks), with some Viking admixture (Normans). But in modern France, no one goes around asking each other if they have Celtic or Latin or Germanic heritage, they frankly don't care; everyone who is European French is French.
So you have a large group of immigrants who have settled due to different reasons - colonization, war refugees, Palestine, etc. - whose parents don't mind the bigotry they might face from the natives because they have their own culture and home country they can look towards, but whose kids might be clearly pushed out of normal French society based on their looks, religion, culture or whatever. The children of these Arab immigrants are faced with the same two choices - try to assimilate and act as 'French' as possible, which comes with the problem of being constantly looked down upon and pushed out by 'native French' (who may view them as the 'other'); or they can group up with other dejected/confused/angry children of immigrants and form their own insular groups and reject the French culture which they feel is against them.
In the end, its a two pronged problem. Trust me, no child of an immigrant growing up in France is going to look towards Mecca and say "Oh I'm Muslim first, French second" or "I'm Arab first, French second", they will see themselves as Frenchmen until there comes a point in their life where they realize that other 'native' Frenchmen do not treat them as Frenchmen, that regardless of how liberal, secular or French their personal beliefs and culture is, they may always been seen as the 'other', the immigrant, the not-French, the Arab; and thats the point in their life where they will look towards the east and go "Maybe I am Muslim first, French second, maybe being Arab and Muslim is a large part of my identity, a larger part of my identity than being French is."
And so you have these dejected retards going around wanting to be part of ISIS and praising Allah while they kill innocent people.
EDIT: To answer your statement, the kids of these immigrants aren't 'refusing' to learn the language, in fact French is their first language. And its not the parent immigrants that are going around shooting innocent civilians, its the dejected confused kids of these immigrants. It's fine if you don't accept the parent immigrants, frankly they probably don't care because they have an anchor with the culture of their native country. But you should try to accept the kids of these immigrants because the kids of immigrants are, for all intent and purposes, French. They have grown up in France and that is the only county and culture they know, not some Arab culture from thousands of miles away, and that is how they (rightfully so) identify as: Frenchmen. Until they are made to feel that for whatever reason (race, religion, ethnicity) they aren't French, at which point they feel that they are social outcasts and are more likely to go out looking for more dejected/confused/lonely children of individuals to find their own insular subculture, with some turning to terrorism as their 'purpose in life', because they are young adult idiots with no sense of identity other than being French, the same French identity which does not accept them and views them as 'the other'.
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