#metoo
I’ve seen so many posts from friends and strangers since the hashtag gained traction. So many people have shared their stories and knowing I’m not alone has made me feel less isolated; but along with this I’ve experienced a whole new wave of fear and anger.
As a survivor/victim of rape and sexual assault/harassment this has opened up old wounds. My nightmares have worsened, I find myself dissociating to the point where I lose large amounts of time, I find it extremely difficult to organise my thoughts, my feelings of fear, my anxiety, and guilt over what happened to me, over not speaking up, and not pursuing action after an initial conversation with police.
The fact is that incidences like this are not taken seriously enough. Victims get put through so much shit. We get shamed, called all names under the sun, are told that we’re lying, told that if we come forward we won’t be believed. We as people get over looked. We see how victims are treated. The system fails us in every way, and even when there is justice it is never enough compared to the long lasting, lifetime trauma that survivors and victims endure day to day.
You’d think as a society we’d have moved forward, moved past victim shaming/blaming and rape culture in general, but you only need to look at a comments section, @ replies, news stories, the passing 'jokes', the way the justice system handles sexual violence/rape/assault/harassment cases, and the way that people you know are so easily dismissive. There is such a lack of empathy, a lack of understanding.
As a society, we need to do better, call out others when you see them do something problematic, pull up your friends when they step out of line. Don’t let you friends hurt other people. Look after your friends. Don’t dismiss people when they come forward or confide in you what happened to them, give them the benefit, believe them.
I see people I know saying that they support victims, that they care - but how do you sleep at night when you have literally dismissed the actions of and/or are still friends with rapists and people that have sexually assaulted others. How the fuck can you speak on consent and courage when you’re part of the problem. The hypocrisy is honestly too much. As for those that stay silent and pretended it never happened, your silence is deafening.
Keep in mind, survivors and victims do not owe you their stories. This is as much as I am willing to share. For every story you hear there are hundreds of thousands more. I hate that as women, we have had to expose and relive some of the most traumatic events in our lives to be seen as people, to be taken seriously. But here we are and it’s taken every ounce of bravery and courage from every victim both female and male.
#metoo
