The Sleepy Bibliophile and her cat, Nikko

I have been anxious at my new work. All the grass greener on the other side has made work all the more a negative feeling for me. What time they get to go home depends greatly on work volume but the worst part is that I was supposed to learn the new system from my manager whom I can’t seem to be able to read. She is nice but she seems like a very direct person and maybe has no patience to little things. As of now she is the only one manning the new system and my hiring boss wants me to learn from her so that I can cover her when she’s not around.

She is a manager though so am I getting paid to do a managers work? Or it’s because she was taught so she can teach others. But it seems like she was there since 9am til 10 pm so I’m doomed to have late working hours. I haven’t even learn all the ropes and I’m already dreading to coming to work.

it seems that the year of 2026 has been quite a year, soon adding to that would be moving to a new department that was not my liking but because of my fear of being left out or the fear of not able to getting an internal transfer fast enough before the deadline that it came with many regrets

the regrets that i could have gotten a job that i really wanted instead of jumping to the first interview i got, the regrets of comparing it to the current job makes it hard for me to digest that i would be starting late and ending late. What makes it worst is that it is a job in every bank to be a department laden with overtime and i for one is not a fan of that. i love the idea of finish work on time and end on time, plus despite the bank policy of having flexi time mean the ability to go home 2 hours in advance for one day in a month is not possible as such made the company even less desirable. I told others that i give it to December but some suggest next year but i rather stayed with the company then move. Also, i don't know if they allow us to do internal transfer after a few months being there. Usually, internal transfers are after 2 years with the current department.

But i lacked tenacity which i realized it when i was previously with the branch at New Bridge that i could not last almost one year without crying due to the account opening and having a DBM who don't listen to its employees. Some of my colleagues said that in a rizq given by God and that i was meant to be there and maybe the job interview from HR is a trial to test me for work related events and that maybe it will lead me to other work opportunities that may not come my way if i don't go to this department.

Some say maybe is an opportunity to find a new job

Truthfully, i don't even know if i get to establish prayers or that i get to go home early for Ramadan since the department work tightly with timing as deadlines and i starting to feel greatly uncomfortable. So for now, i looked forward to my confirmed trip to Japan in December. Maybe then, i will think about what is my next move for work. Maybe go back to MBS but as HR or finance employee. Maybe its with a company that revolves around Islam. Either way i am trying to keep an open mind and trying to face this without thinking negatively but realistically is very hard.

Also can't believe that 2 days ago my beloved grandmother has passed on, i cried so much then that now i just felt like that there is no more tears to shed. i thought i was pretty heartless, but i cried when i kissed her cold forehead, i cried when i bathed her for burial, cried when my uncle, my relatives and family prayed for her after that i could not cry anymore. it is not simple because of sad but it is deeper than that. i felt like my connection to her is no longer there. Like the person who used to take care of me when i was younger after my mum passed away has left for good. She used to cry for me because her daughter , my mother has left me. Now, my beautiful angel has left this temporary world to join the world in the grave and would be journeying with whatever deeds she made when she was alive.

such an eventful year for me seriously, and I'm glad i was given such strength from God.

if i were to create a timeline.

Dec 25-Jan 26, left leg hurts

mid of Jan 26 meniscus muscle tear causing my left knee to have keyhole surgery.

hospitalised leave until Mar 2026,

between those timing , financial worries and mental health took a hit. It got better during Ramadan, because i was able to walk abit and could go around alone compared to the time i had to rely on my sister for showers and knee brace.

Second last week of Mar 2026, to return to work. First day came back was called out by the higher ups to announce that i am part of the redeployment and that i had 6 months to find another job within the same company. Started to look for one since then.

Physio started since Mar 26.

May 26 , left for Japan for 2 weeks and came back with still no news or interviews.

June 26, the first week of June left for workshop set by the HR team to manage our mental health and the perspective of being redeployed or retrenched but for our case, redeployed.

Second last week of June, got an interview with another department that started late and finished late and got OT. and because there was no news since Mar, i thought i should just jumped on it and ended up being a regret for not considering and see if there is another possibilities which ended true cos the job interview offered by HR came but i could not proceed because i already said yes to the first one.

Realised that there is other department cause it was offered to Syah two in fact with the same timing as the current department i am in but i couldn't reject since they already locked me in for internal transfer.

July 26, 17 July my beloved grandmother has passed away and i am not sure if i am handling my emotions right.

I still have 5 more months to December and truthfully, i am not sure if i can make it in the new department. hopefully, He makes ease for me.

Til then,

This idiom above me I believe now is the hardest for me. Year 2026 is really not my year but rather a year full of many vulnerability. I just returned from an early trip to the hospital to take blood test because I was diagnosed last year as type 2 diabetic person and while I cried and worked really hard and disciplined that my hba1c was pretty stable until this year, of course.

After 24 dec when my unassuming sprain ( which turned out to be meniscus tear) I had to stop my weight training because I couldn’t stand and I felt like my exercise is rather on sided with me sitting down. Of course until 14 Jan where it unraveled everything. The reason behind the pain and my hard work of maintaining blood sugar and health and my complacency that my blood sugar is stable that I didn’t think that this could crept up one of the days and hit you like a comet . It did and it happened to be today, 9 July 2026. I am getting back to exercising like before except leg day is physio and strength training is going a for a weight lower than usual but I was hoping that my blood sugar doesn’t fail on me but a few months of bed rest can do a lot of shitty things to you and this is one of them.

Not to mention my cholesterol rise and weight gain coming to hit me together with no word of mercy in sight. So when I see all these coming from just this morning blood test, I felt an enormous weight of anxiety fell on me. I felt like there is nothing I can do because I know how hard it was for me then too, the amount of calorie tracking, supplements and what not just to stay above the water.

I just wanted subconsciously that my health is truly stable because I have maintained so for many months but one slight tweaking and all these things i hoped for and earned kinda just crumbles away .

Life is hard and I wonder a lot of whys. That I know at the back of my mind or head…. That I need to stop focusing on the bad situations or things around me. And it usually takes me multiple days for me to whine and cry before I can come to terms to it and sometimes by then it’s too late.

The financial , the work and the health just whacking me consecutively. So my mind is reeling for answers and I just wanted to float on water and float myself away on an eternal lazy river seeing the sky.

So here goes

Earlier in this year , mid Jan 2026 my knee decided to send me for the very first time to a hospital. What started as a very unassuming sprain or muscle spasm became a meniscus tear in my left knee. Which rendered me away from work for 2 1/2 months. Originally I thought I would enjoyed it but not being able to go anywhere due to non weight bearing on my left leg and how I need to rely on my younger sister for showers left me stripped of my independence. I ended moving my bed which my sister and brother helped to bring down from my loft to the ground since I can’t climb up. So my everyday is shower , self rehab , sit with elevation , play with kittens , sleep , eat, wait for my sister for my evening shower and eat then sleep.

The first week was the hardest mentally because it felt like a part of you were stripped unknowingly and you are not train where to go or what to do when this happens. Then the second week hit me even harder, I had the worst food poisoning in my life. If it is the usual vomiting and diarrhea, I would prob coped but I have extreme abdominal pain. I would sweat in pain because when I eat it hurts and the pain hits even if I didn’t consume anything. Virtual clinic were no help because they say doctor need to find your stomach physically to see how it goes. So I had to grab a ride to the nearest clinic which if I am leg abled, would have taken me 5 mins to reach there. Cried at the doctor about the pain , took a ride back and then cried again because my fur son decided to scoot his poop all over the living room floor and on my bed. And I’m such a germaphobe, I cried and threw my cat to the living room. Wasn’t able to clean with the annoying crutches. So I locked myself in the room after cleaning my bed.

Oh ya the doctor say I prob had a stomach lining striped of mucus so when the acid hit it , it hurt me so bad. So I can only drink Ribena for nutrition and sugar cos I wasn’t eating and drinking. And water has no nutritional value . So over the 4-5 days Ribena is my only meal and occasionally banana bread because it’s soft. And just as soon as I get better, I got hit by UTI. Well after that, I got better and relax until my first Ramadan being on knee mechanism which I forgot what it’s called. My manager kept asking when can I come back and I was like you do realised I’m on hospitalized leave but eventually I returned a week earlier

This is a huge turning point in my life.

Because I was called down by my Head of department into a meeting room. I thought they were discussing about bonus but what I saw was different leaders under the same department in the same office and my heartbeats became so fast because it felts like a “golden handshake” is coming through.

Actually it is a redeployment project because of AI and automation some of our jobs have become either redundant or the fact that our labour is more expensive than the one across our border. So lots of the work were outsourced to them. I was rather grateful that I wasn’t thrown a retrenchment card but the redeployment is hard too because I applied for internal transfers with the recommendation of HR personnel and there are no news to date til June. I became desperate as I saw one by one my colleagues who are affected transferred to another department and I don’t want to be left alone with no job interviews or opportunities so I said yes to the first job opportunity came for me despite the timing being less than ideal. Only to be offered another job interview from HR of a job position that I really wanted but missed because I already said yes to the one before.

First, there's a JR Pass focused on northern Japan only, and imo it's more cost-effective than the all-around JR Pass. I'd definitely consider it if you plan to travel very far in the north, because the distances are pretty long in some cases. Also, you might be able to catch one of the tourism trains in the area (JR Joyful Trains, I think they're called)

Just off the top of my head, some popular places are...

In Tochigi Prefecture (not Tohoku, but north of Tokyo): Nikko World Heritage site (Tobu railways has a travel pass from Tokyo, I think), Tobu World Square,, Ashikaga Flower Park

In Niigata Prefecture (not technically Tohoku, but close enough, and accessible by Joetsu bullet train): Echigo-Yuzawa Onsen area, Echigo-Tsumari Art Triennale (maybe by bus tour, much easier) + Tunnel of Light, Ponshukan (sake sampling in certain bullet train stations, remi ds me of Baskin-Robbins), Northern Culture Museum...

In Fukushima (they spent 10 years working hard to clean up after the nuclear meltdown, and only the area nearest the reactors is now closed - they have solar-powered Geiger counters here and there, I think, if you wanted to check...): Spa Resort Hawaiian, Aizu-Wakamatsu (samurai school Nisshinkan, former samurai home Bukeyashiki, castle), Kitakata (ramen), Ouchijuku (bit like Shirakawago), Soma (more samurai culture, +horses), Urabandai (outdoor activities), Oze National Park (nature)...

In Yamagata: Ginzan Onsen, Mt. Zao, Yamadera mountain temple

In Akita: Kakunodate (samurai neighborhood + homes, sakura spot)

In Iwate: Morioka (wanko soba, reimen - not ramen - noodles), Sanriku coast (nature, memorials & museums about the 2011 tsunami)

In Miyagi: Sendai, Matsushima Bay (nature), Naruko Gorge (autumn color spot)

In Aomori: Nebuta Wa-Rasse museum (for cool local festival floats), Hachinohe (morning market, also has a cool local festival) + Tanesashi Coast, Hirosaki (castle, samurai culture), nature & resorts around Lake Towada, delicious apple & seafood products...

I've barely visited Tochigi, Iwate, Akita, and Miyagi, and I haven't been to Yamagata at all, so I'm sure I've missed some things

Have a nice trip!

So I wanted a long relationship, one that would grow old with me and not leave me much sooner. Also one I can train from young, like the pram and body leash and what not.But after much questions, like his personality, his health and what not. I decided to adopt him. His photo is the one that called out to me but knowing a lot of details form the previous pawrent, made me aware that his pawrent has actual no intention to give him away at the first place.

When we finally arrived there, my sister and her boyfriend went with me to collect Nikko ( his pawrent called him Niko) from them. We were all smiles until it was time we wanted to bring him back to our homes.

His pawrent wanted to close him into the carrier, but ran into the kitchen and cried. She then, carried him into the carrier the second time at which she then ran into the kitchen the second time and cried. It was awkward and hard for me because I lost my cat so I know how it must have felt for her and it was hard because her mother kept asking if she was alright and if she was sure and she kept nodding. The third time, she finally closed the carrier door with Nikko in but she asked if she could take pictures of Nikko before we leave at which I agreed (internally I was reluctant because the whole situation is awkward and tough but I understood that she truly loves Nikko, we still keep in touch by the way because I felt like it was a responsibility to let her know how her beloved pet is doing with me) . The fourth time , she finally closed the door after the photo taking which made me wonder because her mom was reluctant to take photos with her daughter. My intuition made me feel something is amiss because when I was on WhatsApp with her daughter, her daughter who is the pawrent agreed to pass to me his food, litter, litterbox and toys and whatnot but her mom threw away his toys, what's left of the litter and his food bowl which left me with an empty litter box, and food. Her mom asked the pawrent what to do because she threw away and I was like why would you throw those before completing the adoption process.

The pawrent is obviously not listening because she was clearly devastated.

When I finally took Nikko to the car, on the way down the elevator, I cried dramatically because I felt how she felt to lose a cat. The first night he was with me, he was stressed and after a few days, he is a trouble maker whom we loved.

When I messaged his pawrent, I said that it doesn't seem like your idea to give away Nikko because Nikko happens to be her beloved pet, the one closest to her and follows her because maine coon is a loyal cat.

To find out that her mother was the one who gave this young pawrent an ultimatum to give away both of her cats in 2 weeks because her mum had enough of the second cat making a mess with the poop and cleanliness issue. Imagine after 5 years, she blew.

So there you go the story of how I met my son who now pisses me off cos he is trying to escape from a pram and somersaulting in it which causes him to almost choke himself. Sigh

My brother told me to be financially stable before adopting a cat again but I was not able to move on with my life without one. I have survived without a companion until April 2025 but the emotional sadness of being home but without a furry love is hard. I couldn't go to any cat fair without crying because I missed her and felt the social disparity between a cat parent and side character who needs to ask someone's permission to stroke the cat. A privilege that I used to have.

So, I went around messaging and whatsapping my friends, my colleagues, my ex colleagues and families including my cousins' spouses and without expecting much, I soon forgot the messages I've sent. Where i am from, the rules to owning cats are now much stricter compared to when I had my cat, Didie before she passed. Now, if we are to adopt from pet shelters and from fosters; they need to view our homes and check if our home's windows and door gates are meshed to prevent cats jumping out from high rise homes and escaping the home and not able to survive in the outside world where they are exposed to disease and what not. I understand the sentiments behind it but before I could own a cat I would have had to pay for 2-3k just to fix up the windows and gates. That does not even guarantee me a cat, because it could take months before we could officially welcome a cat into our home.

So there are only two alternatives left, which is to adopt a stray cat outside or to buy a pedigreed cat from catteries. I do not fancy pedigrees, because I love the weird fur colours stray kittens or cats can bloom into once they grow up well fed and nurtured in a healthy environment. It's like nature's blind box because you have no idea what kind of cat you will get. Secondly, the pedigrees are expensive and very predictable of the kind of cats we could get. The most popular breed right now from where I am from, is a ragdoll, followed by russian blue , british short hair but the catteries here do offer Maine coon, Persian and Bengal.

So when my cousin's wife IG dm me about this cat that his previous owner urgently needed to give away , I went to ask her more about him. I wasn't actually thinking of adopting the cat but I felt sad that the cat was given away after 5 years and when I imagined doing that to Didie despite never having done that before, I cried. So after asking so many questions, I decided to take him in.

It was hard adopting a cat out of a family who really loves him but his previous pawrent was given 2 weeks to give away her 2 cats by her mom which I will probably share this another day.

He is my son now, Nikko ( used to be Niko) a Maine Coon tabby mix and he is 5 years old in cat years but 36 in human ones. He is super gentle and quiet, like eerily quiet because I accidentally stepped on him and he just jumped without noise. I am training him for a bit to get used to body suit and pram. We will need to take him out to get used to the stress because when we adopted him , he was so stressed that he pooped on my sister. He needs to get his medical checkup done and insurance settled so that he can be covered. So June will be a very busy period for me.

It has been a while since my last update and it has gotten to do with me trying to understand and read through this book I got based on the recommendations I found on Youtube. This book has received recommendations from Katie is reading, the cup and thoughts Youtubers and many more. So I was intrigued and immediately went to the nearest bookstore around my area but to no avail. I searched on the store's online website but to no avail which led me to find the book on the online store and found it on Shopee. I was so glad though broke, that I still went through with getting the book right to my doorstep.

So I have read through half of it with much struggle because firstly, my full-time job takes much of my me time on a weekday basis and secondly, it was hard to visualize the work maybe because I have not seen such scenery and the language, its English was riddled with words I felt like the origin was from Iceland, Finland that has these names of location that was hard to pronounce for a foreigner. This to me was the biggest downside because I felt disconnected and lacked chemistry because it wasn't a smooth read though there were parts that I enjoyed. So i don't want to give it up like this.

I mean maybe is me. So I am trying to give this book and me another chance to reconcile and maybe i can get why many readers are in love with this novel.

This is the sequel to the recent book I've read, Bookshops Bonedust by Travis Baldree.

When I first finished Bookshops Bonedust, I knew off the bat that I would love to know what Viv, the young female orc was up to. I love how her character was portrayed, the adventurous kind, and yet while recovering, getting into books and knowing people from Murk as a mystery pops along the way.

So I was pretty excited when the second book came and I have to say that Legends & Lattes did not disappoint me one bit. I was glad that the book skipped the gory part of her adventure and went straight into her next divulge at which she decided to stay put in one place called Thunes and open up a cafe.

Here is the thing, the place where she decided to establish the cafe has yet to introduce coffee to society, she first got into it in a place called Azimuth via a friendly gnome she met when she entered the cafe through the exotic "bean" she smelled.

That's when she decided to own a cafe and sell coffee but she had another idea along with it. She came about a song that bards used to sing about Scalvert Stone and if it is placed along the ley lines it will produce a "ring of fortune" with the aspect of the heart.

Along the way as she established her cafe, she met a few kindred characters whom I truly love how they grew with Viv and became her lucky stars. I feel I should name one of the characters that I am very fond of. He is a rattkin and his name is Thimbles. He's such a cute and lovely character in the story. Love it when he appears. So keep a lookout on him.

Here is my spot of tea, it is a very lovely book and I finished it in a sitting. Got to show how much I really enjoyed this book. The sad thing is it did not link the previous book's characters like the rattkin Fern except for the short introduction to Legends & Lattes in the first book. I would love to see them interact in a way but it does not dampen the atmosphere it has established in the story. Would recommend getting both books to enjoy

Sleepy review: 4.5/5

Another day another new book.

I got it at the local bookstore in my area. It wasn't the typical thick novel book but it looks intriguing because i had yet to read any novels that was originally in another language.

Days at the Morisaki Bookshop by Satoshi Yagisawa is about these three characters, mainly Takako who broke up with her weird *the take of my impression of him* boyfriend, resigned from her job since they were colleagues in the first place and moved to her grandfather second-hand bookshop with her mum's intervention

So this book is really about Takako trying to find her way in life within the four walls of her grandfather's secondhand bookshop. Of course, her quirky uncle, Satoru, and her M.I.A. aunt, Momoko who left her uncle for five years suddenly appeared to bring Takako the needed help she required.

Here is my spot of tea: the story is well described with certain images clearly presenting in my mind what the streets of Jimbocho look like but I do wish that was more information given on Satoru and Momoko as the story progressed. It felt kind of there and yet missing for their part. I looked forward to the second series of the book called More Days at the Morisaki Bookshop to fill me in.

Sleepy review: 3.8/5

The smell of new book

Bookshops Bonedust by Travis Baldree

It took me a while to finally sit or lay down to read this book because it has been years since I reached out to one. I am not proud of it one bit but hey, better late than nothing.

So here goes :)

Bookshops Bonedust is narrated to be in a fantasy era where orcs, elves, humans, and more have lived in harmony. It takes place in a quiet beach village called Murk, where this young female Orc, Viv was part of a well-known mercenary and was left behind to heal after getting her leg badly injured. While healing her leg, she encountered this run-down bookshop and met Fern the rattkin who then slowly introduced her to the world of reading and the numerous encounters through it.

Here is my spot of tea, it was quite delightful for me to follow Viv in exploring the stories she read, it is almost like a subtle inception since I was reading what she was reading, and uncovering the mystery behind Murk's recent disturbances is surprisingly quite calming. Not to forget, Travis' touch of quiet romance between interspecies ever so slightly crosses the line of the LGBTQ. Though I usually enjoyed the straight-laced romance, this book managed to make me enjoy the simple intimacies Travis weaved through it.

So if you love a slice of life, with a dash of mystery and a sprinkle of romance and without much drama then, this book is just right for you.

Sleepy Rating: 4/5