no one's fast forever.

the other way to get absolutely fucked up is to order literally Any of the cocktails at the james beard semi finalist luca in lancaster as they're all hard liquor mixed with amaro (very full of sugar) instead of something non alcoholic. this is how even professional drinkers vomit and black out after two cocktails

if you want a truly evil cocktail go with a 'slow comfortable screw against the wall mexican variation' which is of course vodka, sloe gin, SoCo, tequila, galliano, and orange juice. that one will kill u for Sure.

my only qualification for being a ceo's executive assistant is that i'm hot. and that i used to be a personal assistant to an education lawyer. and also a law firm receptionist like. a whole ass decade ago. but fuck it. i managed a dairy operation too but like. diary operation isn't fintech lmaoooooo. and u Know im not proficient in a microsoft office suite. ive never used slack in my Life. im a Bartender babyyy. however. they don't have to hire me. they literally do not have to hire me.

reconstructing donald trump's state of the union via the outraged family group chat, tumblr posts, and outraged atlantic articles bc i refuse to listen to that man talk

people keep moving From brooklyn To lancaster. so moving From lancaster To brooklyn is like. only fair.

every day we are one day closer to 'fuck it I'm moving to nyc'

what many christian recording artists don't understand is that you Must sing all five verses of nearer my god to thee or it doesn't Work. ruins the narrative structure.